


Faint Hearts and Fair Ladies

by thejilyship



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marauders - Fandom, jily - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Robin Hood, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Arranged Marriage, Baby Harry, Eventual Romance, F/M, Family Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Romance, au jily, brother harry, jily, royal jily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-05-19 12:02:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 141,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14873394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thejilyship/pseuds/thejilyship
Summary: As the day turns to dusk, Sir Lupin heroically gets the royal family out of a castle under siege. Now the three royals and their knight find themselves running for their lives through the forest. James and Lily's tenuous relationship will be tested, as secrets come out and emotions run high. But to protect their family and their people, they must come together to fight their enemy.





	1. Lambs to Lions

_"Because we always have a choice, even when it feels like we don't."  
― A.C. Gaughen, Scarlet_

They'd been walking for almost two days straight.

Lily could say with the utmost certainty that this was the most physically demanding thing she'd ever done in her life. Her stomach was protruding out in front of her to the point where she could no longer see her feet, her ankles and fingers were stiff and her hair- dear god her hair. She was glad that she didn't have a mirror with her, so she couldn't see what a mess it must be.

And then her young son, bless his heart, he was doing his best to keep up with her when she could no longer carry him. He had just turned three and was small for his age, his little legs had to take three steps for every one of hers.

James carried him when he could, but he was spending much of his time scouting ahead with the one guard that had helped them escape the castle or doubling back to make sure that they weren't being followed. Watching him scamper about made Lily even more exhausted.

But they couldn't stop. Not until they knew they were safe.

"Mummy, my feet hurt," Harry said, his voice quiet as she'd already admonished him for complaining. She'd felt bad for doing it, but she was starting to feel rather helpless, as there was not much she could do to alleviate what he was complaining about. Telling him that they weren't going that much farther was not only a lie, but it had stopped working rather quickly.

She sighed heavily and nodded. "I know, my love." She said, squeezing his hand. She steeled herself for a moment and then stopped walking and reached over to pick him up again. Her stomach made it hard to carry him, as she wasn't that far out from when the baby was supposed to come, so she slid him around to her back and he took hold of her shoulders. At least when he was on her back the weight was more evenly distributed. It still wasn't easy to carry him, but she could manage for a while.

Remus jogged up to her, and she didn't know how he had the strength to jog, but she became slightly more alert at his pace. He gave her a soft smile and she tried to relax. It wasn't an easy task, but by the time that he reached her, she'd gotten her chest to release the tightness that had overtaken her a moment ago. Not entirely, as she hadn't been able to relax entirely since they'd started running from their castle.

"The king and I are quite certain that we haven't been followed. And we haven't seen anyone at all for hours. We should be safe here to set up camp and rest for the night." Lily could almost sob in relief.

"Are we going to have dinner?" Harry asked, squirming around on Lily's back in his excitement. He hadn't enjoyed this anymore than she had.

"Of course, we'll have dinner." Lily answered him before Remus could tell him that they didn't have food. She'd find something for her son to eat. He'd never had to go without before, and she wouldn't have him starve now.

Remus nodded, and hitched the pack he was carrying further up his shoulder. They hadn't been able to escape with much, and without Remus, Lily was sure that they wouldn't have made it as far as they had.

oOo

_The doctor was smiling at the doorway, "Everything looks good, your majesty. You should expect to give birth to a healthy child fairly soon." Lily thanked him once more and then he was gone. The door closed behind her and her lady's maids helped her get dressed for dinner. She'd taken to wearing as little as she could get away with, as the castle was too hot for a severely pregnant woman to walk around comfortably while wearing layers upon layers._

_Lily kept musing about how it was an unusually hot May and Marlene and Emmeline kept agree with her. They agreed with her about most things though, as she was their queen. She sometimes missed the days when she'd been only a noble girl, when she had good friends that weren't afraid to argue with her. She'd been very good at arguing before she'd married the king._

_Marlene was running a comb through Lily's hair when they heard someone scream from outside Lily's door. Lily jumped to her feet instantly, her mind racing as she tried to remember where her son would be at this exact moment._

_Remus burst through the door, Harry already in his arms and Lily rushed over to them. "What's going on?" She asked, looking Remus directly in the eye._

_He gave her a grave look, and even though Remus was always fairly grave, it sent chills down to her toes. "We have to leave. Now." He said, grabbing her arm rather roughly and started pulling her down the corridor. She couldn't remember Remus ever having laid a hand on her before, but then she saw that the guards that had been stationed near the doors to her room lay on a heap on the ground._

_For a split second she thought that maybe Remus had been the one to cut them down, but there were men that she didn't recognize as well, wearing masks, also on the ground. She had to move her feet quickly to avoid stepping on the doctor that had just promised her a healthy child. She brought her hand up to cover her mouth._

_"Quickly now," Remus said, still pulling her along. She'd wanted to close her eyes as they continued down the corridor, she didn't want to see what had become of anyone else. She could hear Marlene and Emmeline moving quickly behind them, she could hear Harry crying against Remus's shoulder, and if she'd thought she could carry him and continue this speed she would have insisted that he hand over her son. But he kept hold of the both of them, and somehow managed to get them out of the castle without so much as a scratch._

oOo

James appeared next to her and carefully picked Harry up, his fingers barely brushing against her at all. "You two alright?" He asked, his voice tight. She'd heard him talk a great number of times, but most of them had been in front of crowds or nobles. There had always been a certain lilt to his voice that commanded respect. He had always been charming and charismatic, but that was gone now. His eyes were dull, his hair even seemed to lay flatter than it usually did. He seemed to have deflated.

"My feet hurt." Harry repeated his complaint to his father now and rested his chin on James' shoulder. "And I'm hungry. And tired."

"I'm right there with you, Harry." He said, reaching up to ruffle his hair. "How about we find a nice place for you and your mum to rest a while."

That however, was the same. He had never learned how to address Lily directly. Anything he said to her was either directed at both her and Harry, or just at Harry. She sighed and put her hand on her back, trying to stretch slightly.

"There's a stream this way," Remus said, looking over the strange little family, then nodding his head he started walking off. Lily let out another breath and started walking again. She wasn't sure if it was possible or not, but with how tight her ankles were feeling, she was worried that they might pop.

The walk to the stream felt much longer than it was, because she knew that they were stopping soon, and she had to bite her tongue to keep from asking Remus how much further it was. That was a question that Harry could get away with, but she couldn't complain. She wouldn't.

When the stream came into view Lily felt her feet start to move a bit faster, her desire to get off of them over powering her worries of exploding ankles. "Can you help me sit," She asked Remus, holding out her hand. It wasn't as though there were any chairs around, so she'd have to go all the way to the ground.

"Of course, your majesty." He said, taking her hand immediately and helping her lower herself to a sitting position.

"For the time being," Lily said, trying to get comfortable. "I think it'd be acceptable for you to call me Lily."

"You're still my queen," He shook his head.

"She's still the queen," James snapped, setting Harry down beside her. Lily looked up at him and saw a bit of fire finding it's way back there.

"Of course," Remus nodded.

"Those cowards aren't going to get away with this. They may be keeping my castle warm, but they're not going to be there long enough to get comfortable." Harry looked up at him.

"Is this where we live now?" He asked, looking around them curiously. "I think we'll get wet if it rains."

"This isn't where we live." Lily shook her head, putting a hand on his knee before James could answer him. She figured it might be difficult for him to switch tones so quickly and she didn't want him snapping at an overly exhausted toddler.

"We're just hiding from those men in the masks?" He asked, and Lily closed her eyes for a moment and the nodded again. "They were scary."

"They were," Lily nodded. "But we got away, and they can't hurt us all the way out here." She promised, hoping that what she was saying wasn't a lie.

"There's no reason for you to be scared." James said, and Lily very nearly rolled her eyes. She knew that that was a lie.

"Do you think Nanny McGonagall is alright?" He asked, looking up at James and she saw his face fall at the question. She had been James' nanny when he was a boy as well. Lily wished she were here. She would have known what to say to make Harry feel better.

"I'm sure she's alright." He nodded after a moment, the anger gone from his voice.

"I'll go and see if there are fish in the stream." Remus said, excusing himself. James nodded and then covered his face with his hands. There was no way to know if anyone back at the castle had made it out unscathed or if their bodies had joined the floor along with her doctor and the guards who had fought back.

Once Remus had left them alone, things fell quiet. Harry was exhausted and started staring out in front of him, not able to move much at all. Lily thought he'd sleep quite well tonight, despite the fact that they'd be on the ground. She'd sleep well too, hopefully.

She looked over at her husband and cleared her throat. He looked at her for a brief moment, and then averted his gaze in front of him. She didn't know why he did that. They'd been married for around four years now and she couldn't recall a single time when they'd managed to have a proper conversation. "I think it'd be best if one of us started a fire," Lily said, not wanting to tell him to start a fire since he'd seemed a bit testy about the amount of power they all still had only a moment ago, but she knew that she was in no fit state to do it. She didn't think she could stand at the moment.

"Right," He nodded and then pushed himself off the ground with relative ease. "I'll fetch some firewood."

"I'll stay with mum," Harry said quietly, leaning against Lily's shoulder and reaching out for her hand. She smiled down at him and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

"That's good," James grinned. "Keep an eye on her, yes?"

"I will," Harry nodded. "And my baby brother or sister." Lily kissed him again. He really was a very sweet child, and while she still didn't know James all that well, she did appreciate the fact that he did nothing to dissuade him from being sweet. She knew that many men of power preferred their sons to be tough and commanding as soon as possible. And if that had been how James wanted to raise his son, it wouldn't have been Lily's place to argue with him.

Though she really did miss arguing.

oOo

_"Would you hold still?" Petunia muttered, her words sounding off due to the hair pins she had pressed between her lips. Lily fidgeted some more simply in spite of her and then folded her hands on her lap and consented. "Honestly, if you don't let me finish your hair, then the prince is never going to want to marry you."_

_"Of course he's going to want to marry me." Lily scoffed. "I'm charming and vivacious and-"_

_"That was his mother's opinion of you," Petunia cut her off from reciting the letter that the queen had sent only that morning. Since then, Petunia and the girls' mother had been fawning over Lily, attempting to prepare her for her first meeting with Prince James._

_"I've heard so many wonderful things about the prince." Lily said for perhaps the seventh time that day._

_"I know," Her mother said, walking into the room with an armful of dresses. They hadn't had time to go out and get a new dress of course, so they had to made due with something they already had. Her mother thought that a nice green to bring out her eyes, Petunia had thought a pale blue as not to clash with her hair, and Lily's suggestion of yellow had been shot down almost immediately. Apparently, that wasn't a suitable color._

_"The prince has done a great number of wonderful things for the kingdom and if you win his affection you'll find yourself in the most agreeable position this world has to offer you," Her mother smiled fondly at her youngest daughter as she laid the dresses out on the couch._

_"So long as I don't wear yellow," Lily said, giving her mother a playful smile in return._

_"You best make sure that you don't do any of that," Petunia tugged at a lock of her hair a bit harder than necessary._

_"Do any of what?" Lily asked, narrowing her brow and pulling back so she could turn to look at her sister._

_"I'm just making a suggestion. If you want to make a good impression on the prince, I wouldn't be so flippant with the words you choose to speak in his presence."_

_"Are you suggestion that I temper myself, Toony?" She asked, almost sounding amused._

_"Yes," Petunia nodded. "And I've asked you to stop calling me that. Neither one of us are children anymore. It's unbecoming." Lily huffed and shook her head._

_"I refuse to act unlike myself simply to try and win his favor. He'll either like me as I am, or I'll marry someone who does." She shrugged her shoulder and sat up straighter, so sure of herself in that moment._

_"Oh darling," Her mother shook her head and continued laying out the dresses. "I don't want you to act unlike yourself of course, but Petunia does have a point,"_

_"I really don't think she does," Lily pursed her lips, ignoring her sister when she tugged at her hair a second time._

_"Well he is the prince. You'd best be on your best behavior. He is, after all, accustomed to a certain sort of behavior in his presence."_

_"Well sure, but I don't think he'd prefer me to be too quiet or plain. After all, if that's what he wanted, he would have wed that princess that came to visit last month." Lily rolled her eyes and let out a breath of humorless laugh. "She was dreadfully dull. I couldn't get a complete sentence out of her."_

_"No one is asking you to be mute," Her mother pressed, and Lily shifted on her seat again._

_"Well then what are you asking me to do?"_

_"Simply to be… more agreeable." Her voice got a bit quieter at the end and Lily now slouched._

_"Agreeable? Do you find me unagreeable?"_

_"You're absolutely lovely of course," Mrs. Evans said quickly, picking up one of the dresses and looking it over, avoiding her daughters gaze._

_"Then what do you mean?"_

_"You don't know when to stop talking." Petunia interjected and Lily scoffed._

_"I most certainly do."_

_"You do not." It was Petunia's turn to roll her eyes. "You always go on, trying to have the last word, to prove that you're right when it doesn't matter who is right-"_

_"Of course it matters." Lily said as though her sister has suggested that the sun disappeared at midday, everyday for exactly three and a half minutes._

_"It does not." Her mother said, causing the shocked expression to fall off Lily's face. "You're going to meet the prince, Lily. He wouldn't take kindly to you telling him he's wrong. Not that I think such an occasion will arise, but if it should happen, I just think it would be best if you didn't inform him of it."_

_Lily worried her lip and looked down at her feet, falling quiet for a few minutes. Petunia was able to finish her hair in the time and her mother had picked out a dress._

_"You understand that we only wish to help you, yes?" Her mother said. "But he's the prince. Tempering this one component of your personality might be wise."_

_"Right," Lily nodded. "I suppose telling the prince that he's wrong about something wouldn't make a good impression. I can refrain from arguing for one evening." She saw her mother relax slightly and her sister grinned. "Honestly, you two have nothing to worry about. Did you read the letter that the Queen sent?" And then she was back to daydreaming about how wonderful everything was going to go._

oOo

Fish had never tasted so good as they did that night. Lily had refrained from licking the oil from the meat off her fingers for as long as she could, but she was still hungry after her fish was gone and it wasn't as though she had a napkin anyway.

She looked over at Harry and was slightly disappointed to see that he'd finished all of his fish as well. Remus had intentionally taken the smaller fish and given Harry quite a bit to eat, but he must have been hungrier than he'd ever been, because he'd never eaten an entire fish by himself before. She felt bad that Remus didn't have more to eat.

"I'll take the first watch." Remus said, jumping to his feet and taking a deep breath. "I suggest you all try and get some sleep."

"We owe you a great debt," Lily said, nothing but sincere.

"I'm just doing my job, your majesty." He said and then nodded his head. She didn't argue even though she disagreed, but she'd thank him again in the morning. It may have been his job a few days ago to take care of the king and queen and the prince, but it was also every other knight's job, and yet, he was the only one here. So she would thank him again.

Harry started nodding off before Remus had walked all that far away and Lily helped him to readjust so he was laying down. Then she shifted herself until she could comfortably lay onto the ground. Everything was quiet for a few moments, and Lily quite expected things to stay that way, but then James spoke up.

"He's shivering." He said, and Lily looked over at him and then where his gaze was. Harry was shivering. She looked at the fire but didn't want to chance getting him closer to it since he moved around in his sleep quite a bit.

She shuffled over some, until Harry was against her back, "Lay on the other side of him." She said, forgetting to word it as a suggestion.

James seemed to have noticed and looked at her for a moment, but then nodded. She watched him move over to Harry and then turned back around and rested her head on her hands. She couldn't tell if the ground was uncomfortable or not since her body was so exhausted and she was always uncomfortable

She felt Harry roll over beside her and then he was pressed up against her a bit more. He'd always been an affectionate kid. But then she felt James hand, almost tentative, rest where the dip in her waist use to be. Her eyes widened as she wasn't used to him touching her, not like this. This was intimate and familial.

"We're going to be alright." James said, his voice quiet. And when she paused to think about it, she wasn't sure if he was talking to her or to the baby. Regardless, she tried to take comfort in both his words and his closeness. "None of this was supposed to happen."

Lily couldn't help but agree with him, but she refrained from saying as much because she still didn't know if he was talking to her or not. He hardly ever spoke to her. And even if you took out the fact that they were currently running for their lives through the woods, this wasn't at all how she pictured her life going. She didn't think that this was the person that she would turn out to be, nor that this was the marriage that she was destined for. He was never unkind to her and so she tried not to complain, but she had hoped for more than distant civility in her husband.

Despite the unease on her mind now, the unease in her body soon over took her and she fell into a blissfully, deep sleep.

James had been told from the time he was very young that he was destined for greatness.

He wasn't so pigheaded to assume that he was the only prince to hear such things, or the only son to hear them either. He knew that all parents wanted their child to grow up prosperous and healthy. But he had always liked to assume that he was different than these other children.

His parents had been late in life before he'd come to them. The doctors had called it a miracle, his mother a blessing; the kingdom had an heir, and all would be well.

So he was a symbol of hope. A sign of good fortune to come. He'd been brought to two people who shouldn't have been able to have a child, and there had to be a reason for that.

And then the coup happened.

There had been whispers of course. There were always whispers, someone was always plotting to take down James Potter, the crowned prince and now King. That was how it went with any monarchy. But none of them had been able to get past his guards before. None of them had been able to get close enough to actually finish him off.

He pulled his family closer to his chest and squeezed his eyes shut. They were all he had left in the world. His young son, unborn child and a wife who rarely spoke more than two words in his presence. Even when he'd tried to comfort her earlier, she'd said nothing.

He could hear Remus moving around in the distance and took a deep breath, knowing that he'd soon have to go and relieve the man that had saved his life and the lives of his family. But every time he closed his eyes, he just saw all his men who had been cut down, men who's bodies he'd jumped over to get out of the castle in time.

Despite his aching feet, he wanted to get up and move around. The only thing that kept him where he was, was knowing that he was keeping his child warm in his current position. Lord knew that Harry needed his sleep. He'd been quite the little solider these past couple of days. And as much as James hated that he'd had to go through this, he was proud of him for the way he'd behaved.

He was proud of his wife too. Lily. They'd been married for four years and he still knew hardly nothing more than what he'd learned the first day that he'd met her. If pressed, he'd say that that was the last time that they'd truly talked to one another, but even then, there had been other people there.

And because he didn't know her, he had expected complaints of the circumstances that they'd found themselves in. He would have understood her complaints. They walked a great distance with very little food or rest and she was extremely pregnant. The doctor had informed him that she would give birth very soon, and that had been a week ago. He had no idea what he'd said the last time Lily had seen him, or if she'd even managed to see him before the attack.

That was just another thing for him to add to his to-do list. They needed to find a doctor and make sure that everything was okay.

Almost immediately upon having that thought, he felt Lily's stomach move. He opened his eyes to check if she were awake, but she was still not moving. Then her stomach moved again, but it felt more as though it were pushing against his hand really. He narrowed his brow. Was that the baby? He'd never felt a baby moving around in it's mother's stomach before. He felt a smile tugging at his lips.

He'd have to find someplace safe for them before this little one joined the world. He couldn't have them born in the middle of the woods. He wasn't sure if he felt that way because he was king and it wasn't good enough for any child of his, or simply because he didn't think anyone should be born into the mess they were currently in.

Most likely a mixture of both.

And soon, with a smile still on his face, he fell deep into sleep.

oOo

_His mother was fairly impressed with this girl, and that didn't usually happen so James was keen to keep an open mind this time. He hadn't gone into any of the other meetings expecting much, but he knew that his parents were getting impatient, because the longer he put this off, the older they got, and in the words of his father; "The less likely we are to see you married!"_

_So there was a girl that his mother liked, and he was going to smile when he met her. Upon her request, but still, he would do it. He always did as his mother asked._

_It was a dinner, and the girl's parents and sister were coming with her. There was something homey about the fact that she wasn't a princess, but a noble lady from the city- well not the city so much as a farm surrounding the city, but still. She was a subject of his, and that somehow made her feel more familiar, even if he didn't know her. He'd heard her name before, both her family name, and her actual name. And not just because his mother liked her._

_He walked into the room behind his parents and too his seat at his mother's side. Normally he sat next to his father, but his mother had asked for him to sit next to her so she could facilitate conversation better between their family and the Evans'. She seemed genuinely excited about this and James reminded himself yet again that he was meant to keep an open mind._

_Lord Evans took a seat next to his father, and after a moment, Lily was walking toward him. He stood when she walked up and pulled out her chair as he was meant to. His mother had drilled it into his head that he was to be overly kind and courteous tonight. He'd tried to remind her that there had never been a single complaint lodged against him by a woman. He was good with ladies._

_"Thank you," She said, her smile rather bright, though James thought he detected a bit of nerves. He grinned at that. He himself wasn't nervous, as he had never thought of these meetings as a mutual thing. They were here to impress him, not the other way around._

_"You're most welcome," He said, taking his seat. There were a few other noble families there, to fill the room and make it seem more like an informal party than a meeting that could result in marriage. His mother said it was to ease nerves, but he always thought that she liked an audience. And he figured she was where he got that from, because he also liked an audience._

_"It's so good to have you all here with us tonight," His mother said, smiling around the table, but her eyes ending on Lily. There was a mutter of thanks and agreement and then Lily spoke, waiting until the din had died down._

_"I'm most pleased to join you and your family this evening." She said, and James had to admit, that the number of girls that he'd seen with a smile like hers were limited. Actually, looking at her just then, he couldn't think of any girls who had a smile like hers. Or eyes… he didn't know that eyes could be that color green. Bright and vibrant. The only thing he could think of to compare them to, were the emeralds on his crown._

_"Oh yes, we're so very glad that you could make it this evening Lily." He heard the smirk in his mother's voice and turned to her in time to catch her eye moving away from him and over to Lily. Clearly she'd caught him inspecting the redhead. "And your yellow dress is quite lovely."_

_Lily sat up a bit straighter and grinned. "Thank you, your majesty." She shared a look with her mother, who gave her an exasperated smile and while James didn't know what it all meant, he liked that he had saw what was meant to be an unnoticed moment between the two. And that she exasperated her mother as well, he took it to mean that she wasn't as prim and proper as some of the other suitors he'd met._

_The dinner started, and the conversation flowed easy, though due to the nature of the dinner, and his mother's keen interest in Lily, he didn't find much chance to talk to her, though he did listen to her talk. She spoke to everyone, and despite not talking directly to him, she made sure to smile at him every so often, and he found himself smiling back._

_After the third course, his mother kicked him in the shin and he took that to mean that she was displeased with how little he'd had to say over the course of dinner so far. He gave her a look and then turned to Lily and leaned an elbow against the table. "I'm not sure what you did to charm my mother, but she quite likes you."_

_Lily laughed quietly and leaned toward him as well. "To be honest, I'm not sure what I did either. But she seems wonderful."_

_"She is wonderful." He agreed. "If not slightly pushy."_

_Lily shrugged. "Aren't all mothers at least slightly pushy?" He laughed and then his father called his attention away from her and that was the only private word that the two of them managed to have in the course of the evening._

_He wasn't convinced that he should marry Lily Evans by the end of it either, and he would never be truly convinced, because he didn't meet with her again after that before tragedy struck the royal family and James was prematurely made king without a bride._

oOo

James didn't remember falling asleep, but when he woke up, it was light outside again and he cursed internally as he pushed himself upright and looked around for Remus. Why hadn't he woken him up hours ago to relieve him? He could tell by how stiff he was that he'd been asleep for some time now. Had something happened to him.

He looked over at Lily and Harry, both of whom were still sleeping. He ruffled Harry's hair absentmindedly and then pushed himself to his feet and set off into the woods. He couldn't let himself get too far from his sleeping family, as he had no way of knowing if these woods were actually safe or not, but he needed to relieve Remus.

He heard a branch break somewhere to his left and, with his hand on the hilt of his sword, he started off toward the noise. He expected to find Remus, but he had to be careful still.

He found what he was expecting, and luckily Remus didn't look injured or anything. Which meant that he had just been stupid.

"Why didn't you wake me?" He asked, startling the poor man who hadn't heard him coming and was suffering from sleep deprivation.

"You needed your sleep."

"So do you." He said, "And the way you jumped when I talk tells me that you'd be pretty useless if something were to actually happen now."

"I would have been good enough at slowing down whatever was coming until you made it to your feet." He shrugged, almost grinning. Remus had been a knight for a few years now. He was of noble blood, but due to the controversy surrounding his family, his being made a knight had upset certain people. James hadn't cared though. Anyone who could handle a sword as well as Remus deserved to be a knight.

James sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Yes, but we wouldn't make it much further without you. I don't know how to catch fish or hunt with a sword. We'd starve out here."

"You'd be fine." Remus insisted.

"Go and sleep, Remus."

"Yes, sir." He nodded and then turned around to head back to where Lily and Harry were. He paused and looked back at James. "We'll need to find a town soon. Lily will need a doctor before too long."

"I know." He nodded. "And Harry needs to know that we don't live in the woods. The people should be willing to house us, to keep our whereabouts a secret." Remus shook his head.

"I don't think letting people know who you are would be wise, sir. There are a great number of people who love you, but…" He hesitated, and James narrowed his eyes. "Well we're not going to run into any nobles out here. Any people we find this far away from the castle will be very poor."

James didn't understand what it was that he was getting at and Remus sighed.

"May I be blunt with you?" He asked.

James shifted, uneasy with even the question. "Yes, of course." He said, his tone not matching his words.

Remus could tell, but he nodded anyway. "Not all the poor are fans of yours. They think that you and your family have overlooked them. Some of the sheriffs out in these farm towns fancy themselves governs or Lords. They taxed the people at rates that they can't afford-"

"That can't be true. I would have heard about that." He said, shaking his head. "And I know that not all of my people love me, I'm not so arrogant as to believe that-"

"Sir, I mean no offense. I'm simply saying that I think it would be best if we kept your true identity hidden. We can't trust an entire town of people not to say something to the wrong person. Because if news gets back to the men who stormed the castle, then I believe they would come and hunt you down. They would hunt your son down." James tensed. He knew that Remus was right of course, it was ridiculous for him to even suggest that they didn't hide their identities, but maybe he was more arrogant than he liked to believe.

"They're not going to back this coup, are they?" He asked.

Remus swayed where he stood and sighed. "I don't think so. They were quite violent. But I don't know what they will tell people, or how they'll spread their message. It will all depend. I hope they don't." He said. He didn't have anything more to say, and he seemed to be waiting for something. James sighed and then nodded.

"Thank you, Remus. You can go and rest now." He said, and Remus nodded, looking relieved.

Soon James was alone with only his thoughts. Why hadn't he heard about these poor towns that were being taken advantage of? The answer wasn't hard to find. He didn't meet with the poor very often, only the nobles. He expected them to update him on the wellbeing of their towns. And if they were benefiting from the poor's extra taxes, then why would they have thought to mention that they were abusing them?

But it was still his fault. All the people in his kingdom were his responsibility, and he had failed these people so much so that Remus didn't think that they'd be willing to help him and his family in their most desperate hour of need. And James couldn't blame them. He may be their king, but he hadn't been a good king to them and so why would they feel they owed him anything?

He leaned against a tree and felt as though he were in an entirely impossible situation.

It was a few hours later before he heard the quiet voices of his wife and son. He could hear splashing and then laughter and he grinned, walking toward the creek.

"Get behind your ears too, love." He heard Lily saying. "You've gotten quite dirty these past couple of days, best get all the places dirt likes to hide."

"You sound like Nan." Harry said as they came into view. He was standing in the stream naked, Lily sitting on a log at the waters edge and he saw her splash water at Harry with her toes which were bare and in the water.

"I'm your mother. It's my job to tell you to get clean. I'd wash you myself, but my tummy would make me fall over in the water."

"Your tummy is getting awfully big, mummy." Harry said, and Lily splashed him again.

"Watch it, mister."

"Yes, you shouldn't talk to your mum like that." James said, and he saw Lily sit up straighter. "How did you two sleep?" He asked, hoping that maybe today she'd be more talkative. He'd seen her animated with Harry before, and part of him was jealous that she wasn't even slightly that comfortable with him.

"I slept great!" Harry said, sitting down in the creek and then laying back, letting the water wash over his hair.

"And you?" He looked at Lily and then walked over to sit next to her on the log.

She looked at him curiously and then answered, "I slept well." She said.

"As well as you could have anyway, right?" He asked, trying to keep things light. Maybe he'd even get two or three responses from her. "For having been on the ground?"

She seemed even more baffled by something, but James didn't know what. All he was trying to do was keep their spirits up. After all, they had lost everything earlier in the week. "Especially well for having been on the ground." She shrugged. "I must have been so tired that I didn't really notice." She splashed her feet in the water and Harry giggled, assuming that she was trying to splash him, so she indulged him and kicked some water in his direction.

James thought the idea of putting his feet in the water sounded heavenly, so he pulled his boots off and then mimicked Lily's position. He sighed gratefully as his feet were submerged into the cool water. He didn't think he'd played in a creek since before his parents had mentioned marriage to him.

"Mum, Dad," James looked over at Harry and raised his brow. "Where will we be going today?" James looked over at Lily, but she was looking back at him with an expectant look on her face. It hadn't dawned on him that she would expect him to have a plan, but she clearly did. All he had was the half-baked idea that he and Remus had tossed about earlier this morning.

"Well we'll have to find a town to stay in. A town with a good doctor, so that when your little brother or sister decides they're ready to meet us, there will be someone who can help out your mum." Lily looked relieved that that was part of the plan- or maybe that he'd remembered the doctor. He'd only managed to remember last night. He wouldn't tell her that though.

He briefly found himself wondering why things were feeling extra awkward between the two of them. He almost asked her about it, and maybe he would have if Harry weren't there as well, but he pressed his lips together instead and tried to refocus on how good the water felt on his feet.

"And will we be staying in the woods again tonight?" Harry asked, once the excitement brought about by thinking about how little time there was left before his new sibling would arrive wore off. He'd always been a curious kid, wanting to know everything from the names of the men who made James' armor to how the butcher had decided which pig they were having for their feast. It always made James smile before, but he didn't know how to answer this question.

"I'm hoping to find us some beds to sleep in tonight." He kept the smile on his face, but he had very little money on him, and if they couldn't rely on their identities, then he didn't know how they would get anyone to help them.

"I like sleeping in the woods," Harry grinned, looking up at James, still sitting down in the creek. "It's fun. I woke up and there was a frog right in front of me! Mum and I brought him down here and let him go. He looked so funny when he was swimming." James grinned.

"You like frogs?" He asked.

Harry shrugged. "I don't know. I liked this one, but it was a bit slimy, so mum carried it for me. It kept jumping out of my hands."

James looked over at Lily, surprised to hear that she'd carried a frog down to the creek. She didn't see him looking at her though, because she was too busy looking at Harry with a soft fondness that he was quite sure was reserved for Harry. "Mum's not afraid of frogs then?" That drew Lily's attention to him and she narrowed her brow.

"What's to be afraid of? They haven't any teeth and they're quite small." He let out a breath of laugh and shrugged one of his shoulders.

"I guess I'm simply surprised that you don't mind touching them I suppose."

Her brow stayed knit together and she shifted on the log, but she didn't say anything to that. James thought it an odd reaction but didn't say anything further. He was suddenly very aware that this was the longest that the three of them had spent alone together. Back in the castle there was always someone else around. When Harry was born there was the doctor, Lily's maids, a few guards posted right outside the door, a nurse, and Lily's mother and sister.

Even on their wedding night they hadn't been alone.

And every other night, even when they had been alone, they hadn't said much. It had been awkward, and James was good at a lot of different kinds of situations, but he did not excel in awkward situations. He was actually especially terrible at awkward situations and that might have been why the two of them hadn't really had any real conversations in the last four years. He seemed to have waited too long to start talking to her, and then, even though he had always been good at talking to women, he'd didn't know what he was supposed to say to her.

But that had been four years ago. Things had degressed since then, if that were even possible.

oOo

_James had been solemn and mournful since his parents passing, and when it came to his wedding day, his mood did not take exception. Though everyone around him kept waiting for him to crack a smile or stop walking around with his fists clenched at his side._

_But the truth of the situation was that James Potter did not want to get married. It wasn't that he was against the idea in general, he'd always known that he'd marry for the kingdom and not for love, and he was okay with that. But he'd just lost his family, and he wasn't ready to start a new one, he wasn't ready to form an emotional bond with someone who was currently a stranger. He needed time to heal, to pull himself back together._

_But he was king, and time to himself wasn't something that he could have._

_So he'd taken his mother's last request to heart, and he'd asked Lily Evans to marry him. She'd accepted, and now they were getting married._

_He knew that he should have someone explain to her why he was being distant, or better yet, he should explain it to her himself. He should have let her know that it had nothing to do with her and that he wasn't always going to be like this. But that would have been awkward, and he wasn't good at awkward situations. Or emotional situations. At least not emotional situations that demanded explaining one's emotions using words. He was more than adept at using brute force or other forms of action to show people how he felt._

_For her part, Lily seemed to understand that he needed some distance, some space, and she'd given it to him. They'd had a ball to celebrate their engagement, not because it was what James wanted, but because it was tradition. People from around the kingdom came to show their support and admiration for the woman who was to be their queen and Lily smiled and graciously accepted absurd gifts from nobles and peasants alike. He'd been impressed but hadn't said anything. He'd been slightly charmed even but hadn't said anything about that either._

_If he'd been more self-aware, he would have realized that he was putting up walls to keep from getting hurt again, because losing his parents had hurt more than anything else he'd even known._

_So, on the day of his wedding, he'd still been of mind to keep his distance- at least emotionally- from his wife. And when he found himself seated beside her at the feast after the ceremony, her family all seated around them, all looking so jovial, he clenched his fists again and tried his best not to snap at anyone._

_"It was a lovely wedding," Her mother crowed, leaning over and squeezing her hand. James wished he'd had the foresight to have her family seated with the rest of the noble guests, tradition be damned._

_"It was," Lily nodded, pulling her hand away from her mother and sitting upright. She'd noticed James' mood immediately and had been doing her best to help ease his tension. However, her accommodations only worked to make him more frustrated since he didn't feel as though he deserved the kindness she was showing him._

_"And all of this food just looks wonderful," Her father spoke, looking at James and the young King was forced to smile at his father-in-law._

_"Yes, we have some truly splendid cooks." He said, hoping that no one would notice how tight his voice was._

_"Another thing to look forward to," Lily said from his side and he looked over and forced a smile._

_It wasn't until some time later that a friend of his had pointed out that that was the only time he'd spoken to his wife that night. And he hadn't even spoken to her directly. He'd just given her a false smile._

_There was no way that the consummation of the marriage was going to be anything but awkward, seeing as how it was custom for far too many people to be present to make sure that the consummation actually took place. He'd grown up knowing about this tradition of course, he'd even laughed about it and tried to sneak a peek whenever he found himself at a royal wedding, but when it was flipped around, and he was the one without his drawers on, only a piece of curtain separating him from the witnesses…_

_Well it did nothing to fix his mood, and he couldn't imagine a way that it could have been a pleasant experience for Lily either._

_And that night, not just the consummation, but everything that had preceded and everything that came after, it had really set the tone for things to come._

_He remembered laying next to her, after the witnesses had left, already having moved to what would become his side of the bed (not that they shared a bed for the entire night after this one exception.) He looked over at her and felt a wave of guilt come over him._

_Her hair was no longer immaculately done up as it had been for the ceremony earlier in the evening, but it was down, no pins or ties. He could see her bare shoulder, as her underdress had slipped down. But her face was hidden. He couldn't tell if she was wide awake or trying to sleep and he knew that he should say something then. He knew that she was meant to be his family now, that he should say something to salvage how distant and cold he'd been all day. They were alone then, maybe completely, and he should have said something._

_But he didn't. He laid there next to her, opening and closing his mouth ever few moments for a good long while before deciding that he could fix it in the morning and rolling over on his other side to sleep._

_And the longer he pushed off saying anything, the less important it seemed. It became clear to him that they didn't need to be close or converse in order for them to function as a team in the public eye._

_And the public loved her, and that should have made James love her he realized. That and a million other reasons should have enthralled her to him, but he kept his distance and kept distracted and determined. He didn't want to be put in a position where he could get hurt again, where he could lose everything._

_And so, in order not to lose something precious, he kept himself isolated. And while that in itself is a form of loss, he justified that it didn't hurt nearly as much._


	2. Glass Hearts

_"And, you know, when all is said and done, it really is better to wind up feeling scared and stupid than not feel anything at all."_   
_― Autumn Doughton, On an Edge of Glass_

James stayed next to her nearly the entire day. He stayed next to her and he continued to try and get her to talk, and every time he did- every time he looked at her expectantly after asking a mundane question, she could feel herself getting more and more upset.

The first time it had happened, down by the creek, she had told herself that it was hormones. She told herself that she was emotional because of the baby, that she was still sore from all the walking that they had done, she was still tired and she was hormonal, so she got a bit angry for no reason.

But the more he kept talking, the more she was starting to realize that there most definitely was a reason- and it was not hormones. She didn't know what he was playing at, but she did not appreciate him suddenly acting as though he gave a damn about her simply because he was forced to be in her presence for so long. Just because they suddenly had only Harry and Remus as a buffer and he must have realized that not talking to her would have been more deliberate than it had seemed back in that castle. She was having none of it though.

And the real kicker? There was nowhere she could hide!

She couldn't cut him out of a conversation by turning to talk to Harry, because he would only join that conversation as well. She couldn't keep up with Remus, so that wasn't an option. And if she slowed down, James would slow down as well so that she wasn't walking by herself. The last time, she'd slowed down so much, that he asked if she needed to stop and rest. She had huffed and started to walk faster again.

So she was walking next to her husband, their three year old in between them pointing out everything he saw that he thought was worth noting- which was most things he saw as the young prince had spent very little time in the woods before this week. He rushed ahead to go and pick a flower that he'd just spotted and James reached over to take Lily's hand.

She glared down at their hands and then up at him. When he looked over at her, he looked surprised to see the look on her face and instantly dropped her hand. "What is wrong?" He asked, and she clenched her fists at her side.

Except she'd grown so used to not arguing or confronting anyone in the last four years, that she didn't know what she wanted to say and ended up saying, "I don't appreciate you presuming familiarity with me." Which really wasn't the heart of the issue, and may not have made as much sense as she would have liked it to. But it definitely sent a clear message judging by the look on his face.

He narrowed his brow and clasped his hands behind his back. She'd seen him do that when trying to reason with nobles who were being difficult. Thinking that he thought she was being difficult only upset her more. "I'm not presuming familiarity. You are my wife." He said, his voice clipped.

"As though I need reminding." She muttered under her breath, though that didn't stop him from hearing her.

"Are you going to tell me what that means?" He asked, and she could tell that he was getting agitated. That was normally when she stepped back, when she readjusted. Though she'd never been the one to get him agitated before, it had been her job to be calm and collected, to behave herself and stand behind him. That was the proper thing to do as the queen. But she wasn't really the queen anymore was she? She was just Lily. And Lily had never been good at holding her tongue.

"You know what it means," She snapped. "We've made it four years without you bothering to give me the time of day, there's no reason for you to change things up now." She surprised herself a bit there, but it felt good to snap at him, to get some of these feelings that she'd been bottling up, off her chest. So when he opened his mouth to say something, she cut him off.

"No," She stopped walking and turned to face him. "I knew why you were doing it at first, I understood what was going on and I figured that when you were ready you'd let me know, but then I got pregnant and didn't see you again outside of the throne room for nearly two years. The only time you ever spoke to me was when it was impossible for you not to! You couldn't even be bothered to spend an entire night in my chambers so don't try and hold my hand as we're running away from danger. Don't try and get comfort from me when you haven't offered me any for as long as I've known you." She wanted to yell, stamp her foot and shake him a bit. But their son wasn't far off, so she couldn't even raise her voice. "You're only reaching out to me now because I'm all you have left." She said, her voice still icy. "And that is not fair."

"Mum! Look!" And then Harry was running up to her with a flower in his hand and a bright smile on his face.

"Oh look at that, love," She grinned back, turning away from James and reaching out for the flower. "It's a Morning Glory. You know, a lot of people believe that this particular type of flower brings good luck. And we could use some of that."

"Well then I'll go and look for some more," He promised, running up the path a bit and doing just that. He didn't go in front of Remus though, so Lily didn't call him back.

Lily felt as though she had just purged a heavy burden that she'd gotten used to carrying around. She had forgotten it was there, but after saying something, she felt immediately better. She could tell by the stony silence that James did not feel better, but she couldn't be bothered with that at the moment. She could only be expected to bottle up her thoughts and feeling for so long, and quite frankly, it was really something that she'd managed to make it four years in the first place. She thought that even her sister would be impressed.

When Harry was out of earshot James cleared his throat and Lily looked over at him. "Is there anything else you'd like to say?" He asked, and she could tell that he was pretty angry, but that only worked to make her upset again.

"Oh I'm sure I'll be able to think of more to say-"

"You became queen when you married me." He said, his voice low and she didn't know if that was because he didn't want Harry and Remus to hear or if it was because that's what he did when he was angry. The truth was that he was practically a stranger to her. She'd never seen him truly angry. Frustrated with nobles, agitated by thieves and prisoners, but never angry. "You became the queen and you moved into the castle and you were given everything you wanted whenever you wanted it. You had dozens of people at your beck and call. You came from- from practically nothing and I married you because you charmed my mother. You were never want for anything."

She narrowed her brow and then look in front of her. "I wanted a family, James. I wanted a husband who would love and care for me. And what I got was something so painfully for show that I've forgotten how to be myself. How to speak for myself!" She let out a huff of frustration and then froze on the road, her breath caught in her throat.

"Well it's nice to know that you have a flare for the dramatics. Given the situation we've found ourselves in, I'm sure that's going to be very helpful-"

"James," She said through a clenched jar.

"All I was trying to do was keep our spirits up. And if I was also trying to comfort myself, well can you really blame me? We are all that we have left-"

"James," She said more forcefully this time. He had stopped walking when she did but he hadn't been looking at her. Instead he had his arms crossed over his chest and he was starring off in front of them. He turned to look though after she said his name a second time and his expression instantly softened.

"Lily, what's wrong?" He asked, narrowing his brow and stepping closer.

"Everything feels tight," She said, clenching her jaw again and placing a hand on her stomach. She didn't like this feeling at all, but it was familiar to her.

James hesitated and then look up after Remus before looking back at her. "Is the baby coming?" He asked, and Lily noted that he sounded absolutely terrified. For some reason, hearing that he sounded scared made her feel much more calm about the situation.

"I don't know." She took a slow deep breath as the doctor who had helped her through Harry's birth had directed her to do when she'd first gone into labor then, and slowly the pain resided. "We need to get to a town." She said.

He seemed to have forgotten about their fight for the time being. Or at least realized that it wasn't the most important thing to worry about.

"I'm going to go up and talk to Remus."

"Does he know where we are?" Lily asked, the pain releasing as she let out another breath.

James looked flustered; like he wanted to run away and help her all at once and couldn't decide which one to do. "I don't know, I think he might."

"You have no idea where we are, do you?" Lily asked and James narrowed his eyes, clearly their previous conversation coming back to him.

"I'm not intimately familiar with the entire countryside, no," He almost snapped.

"Alright, then go and ask him." She waved him on since he still hadn't made a decision and he rushed up ahead and she started walking again. Her face must have been pulled into some awful expression because soon she felt someone tugging at her skirts. She looked down and saw Harry walking along next to her looking almost frightened.

"Are you alright, love?" She asked, reaching down and cupping his cheek.

"What's wrong, mum?" He asked.

"Oh it's nothing." She shook her head. "Just the baby moving around."

"You looked like you were hurt," He pouted.

"Sometimes babies hurt," She said, still smiling at him. "But it's not a bad kind of pain. I know that the pain is only there because the baby is getting ready to come and be with us."

Harry chewed on her lip and grabbed her hand. "Did I hurt you?"

"Only a little," She grinned. But then her stomach started to tighten again, and her breath caught in her throat. She stopped walking again and let go of Harry's hand. She crossed her arms over chest and tried not to look like she was in too much pain for Harry's sake.

Soon Remus and James were on either side of her just in time for the pain to subside again. "Is the baby coming now?" Remus asked, and she looked over at him. She wanted to snap at him for asking such a stupid question, but she couldn't with Harry so close.

"I'm fairly sure." She said through clenched teeth, keeping her voice low.

He nodded, "Alright. We'll get you to a town."

And she believed him.

oOo

_Lily was miserable._

_She'd been married for a few months now, she'd found out that she was pregnant, and she had no friends in the castle. There was a girl named Hestia in the kitchens that she was hoping to get to know better, but it didn't seem like the servants in the castle were as willing to befriend her as they had been back at home._

_She really wanted to go home. She wanted to see her mother and father, even her sister. She missed the three of them and all the talking that they used to do. Some days she didn't say anything at all. She worried that if things continued on this way, she would lose her voice. Not that it would matter since no one would talk to her._

_It was a vicious little cycle that she'd found herself in. Or it would be a cycle once she actually lost her voice. Maybe she should just start talking to herself out loud. Maybe if her servants started to think that she was crazy they would talk to her. Or maybe it would only make things worse for her._

_Though she didn't know how things could get worse for her._

_Her mother and sister had made this life sound like so much more than Lily had found it to be so far. They had made it sound like Lily would always have everything that she wanted, and that she would be happy all the time. And she supposed that were true in a material sense, but they both should have known better than to assume that material things would have kept her happy. She was so starved for human connection that she even missed the nightly fights she used to get into with Petunia._

_She sighed as she walked around the gardens, one of her favorite places on the castle grounds, a place that normally warded off the loneliness for at least an hour or two._

_Today she saw someone sitting on one of the benches near the roses. She cocked her head to the side and inspected this man, as she hadn't seen him before, though he was dressed as though he were a knight._

_"Hullo?" She called out, not wanting to startle the man by just appearing right before him, but also wanting him to tell her who he was. She may not talk to anyone, but she was familiar with everyone's faces, as she passed by them every day._

_The man sprung up to his feet as though he'd been bitten by a snake, and his eyes widened as he saw her, immediately sweeping into a low bow. "Your majesty." He said, standing up straight and his hands going to clasp behind his back._

_Lily looked over his face and smiled. He had kind eyes, wrinkles at the corners of his eyes that suggested he was a fan of smiling, and sandy blonde hair. Lily thought he was rather handsome. "Who are you?" She asked, finding that she did indeed need to clear her throat before she was able to say anything else. "I haven't seen you around before."_

_"The king, he just knighted me today, your highness." The man said, nodding his head._

_"And your name?" She asked, quirking a brow._

_"Remus." He said. "Remus Lupin."_

_"Lupin?" She narrowed her brow now. She hadn't heard of that name before._

_"I'm not of noble birth, my queen." He seemed unsure of how he should address her and Lily found it endearing._

_"Then how did you become a knight?"_

_"The king, he saw fit to bestow such a great honor upon me despite the circumstances of my birth." He averted his eyes, and even though Lily wanted to press, she could tell that he was uncomfortable so she didn't._

_"Well then, congratulations, Sir."_

_He smiled at her, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Thank you, your majesty."_

_She'd see him periodically throughout the castle after that, coming and going to training or a meeting and their conversations were never long, but he didn't seem to be afraid to speak to her and she took full advantage of that. She talked to him about whatever was on her mind, and while he never said much in return, he did listen awfully well, and he smiled at her jokes too._

_Her maids never smiled at her jokes. They only smiled when they thought that she looked particularly pleasant in a new gown._

_After meeting Remus though, the fear of losing her voice had disappeared._

oOo

Lily was very nearly ready to pass out from the pain coursing through her body. It hurt in places that she hadn't been expecting. She'd given birth once before, and while it had been wholly miserable, this was something else. She didn't know if it was because she was so tired and still hungry, or if it was because she'd been walking for the last three days now and her body was already tired and sore, but this was much worse than her memory served her.

The idea that something was wrong, that her baby was in danger briefly flashed through her mind, but she wouldn't let herself dwell on it. It was impossible. The baby would be fine. It had to be.

And even if she let herself believe that there was something wrong, that that was where the extra pain was coming from, she couldn't voice those concerns. Voicing them made it real. And it wasn't as though there was anything that could be done here, in the woods.

She groaned and clutched her stomach, and Remus' footsteps quickened. "Just around this bend." He said, though Lily knew that he had no idea if that was the truth or not. He couldn't know if there was anything around the bend. But the certainty in his voice made hope creep into Lily's mind as she struggled to move her legs fast enough to keep up with him. Not that she was doing much of the walking on her own. With James on one side and Remus on the other, sometimes her feet didn't even touch the ground as they moved up small hills and across uneven pathway.

She looked over her shoulder when the pain in her stomach allowed her to do so, checking to make sure that Harry wasn't lagging too far behind, that he was keeping up.

This time when she looked, his bottom lip was out in pout and there were tears in his eyes, though she hadn't heard him make any noise. "Harry," She called back and James' head turned to look at their son as well. "Everything is going to be alright, love." She said, forcing her voice to come out soft.

He sniffed and looked up at her. "I know." He said. "You and dad keep saying that." He wiped at his eyes and Lily's heart broke at the sight. He was so young. Just three years old, there was no reason he should have to don such a brave face.

"Why don't you run up ahead and see if you can see anything," James suggested, and Lily hoped that having something to do other than hurry after the three adults would help to put his mind at ease. If he felt like he was doing something helpful.

"Not too far ahead though-" She said, the pain ripping through her again, causing her to clamp her mouth shut and look forward again. Her teeth gnashed together, and she swore under her breath.

"We're almost there," Remus looked over at her and she could see out of the corner of her eyes that his face was pale. James' face was scrunched up in determination and worry, but Remus was pale and Lily was suddenly worried that he might pass out if they didn't reach help soon.

"Not good with pain?" She asked, trying both to distract herself and Remus. He looked over at her again and gave her a small, tightlipped smile.

"Not with a ladies' pain," He clarified. "I've seen a lot of pain in battle, but- this is different." His eyes shadowed over and he looked back at the road before them and Lily wasn't going to push for more. She was going to leave it at that, but another jolt of pain shot down her spine and she needed him to keep talking.

"How old were you when you-" She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. "When you first went to war?"

He looked at her and she hoped that he could tell that a distraction was all she was after here. She didn't mean to pry, didn't mean to make him talk if he didn't wish to, but she was in pain and he was pale and she needed him to distract them both from what was happening.

He cleared his throat and his eyes went up the road again, to where Harry was just reaching the bend. "I was thirteen when I first picked up a sword to fight." He said. "I grew up quite far from the castle and the city, out in a village that you've never heard the name of. The sheriff would ride through at the beginning of every month and demand the taxes due to the crown and my family, we had nothing. We started with nothing and his demands took even that away from us. My father got so sick trying to make sure that my mother and I had enough to eat that he fell ill and passed when I was twelve and then it was just my mother and I.

"I was watching her waste away, watching as every month she would somehow manage to scrounge together enough money to pay the sheriffs taxes. Until one month she didn't. She had been sick the weeks before, and while she was getting better, she hadn't been able to get enough money.

"I had tried," He said, still watching Harry, hope and desperation evident. But he kept talking. "But I was just a kid and no one wanted to give me anything. So when the sheriff came, he started hauling my mum off to the stocks. He was going to give her ten lashings- that was the punishment if you couldn't pay.

"I offered to join the war effort. I was just nearly thirteen and the fact that I hadn't been eating well for the past couple years was evident every where you looked, but he accepted. My mother was beside herself, told me that she'd have rather taken the lashings." He shrugged, and Lily felt a tear slide down her face that had nothing to do with the pain that she was in.

"I couldn't let her get hurt though."

"When's the last time you saw her?" James asked, and Lily was almost started by the sound of his voice. She'd known that he was there, but it sounded so different than she'd heard it before. There was guilt there.

"It's been a while. But I have her set up quite comfortably now." He said.

Harry had stopped at the bend and looked back at the three of them. He fidgeted where he stood and then James called out to him. "What do you see?" He asked, his hand on Lily's waist shifting as he tried to walk faster. She squeezed his shoulder, letting herself hope for a miracle.

"More road." Harry called back, and Lily deflated, letting her head drop so she was looking at the ground. "Less trees though." Harry called again. "And I think it's a house? It's pretty small though." Lily looked up and saw her three-year-old shrug and she couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her. A house? Harry wasn't sure, because having grown up in a castle he'd never been to a regular house before.

They rounded the bend and there was indeed a house hidden in the trees. It was further from the road and the windows were dark, but there was smoke coming up in wisps from the chimney. And she swore that she could smell something cooking as well. Despite the pain, her mouth started watering.

"Run up and knock on the door," James called to Harry, who looked at Lily, waiting for her nod before he ran up to the door.

Lily didn't know who she was expecting to answer the door, but a stout woman, with hair a more brightly colored red than her own wasn't it. The woman had rosy cheeks and freckles that Lily could see back from the main road and even though Lily had never seen her before, she looked familiar and comforting. She gave Harry a once over and then caught sight of the three of them, Remus and James all but dragging Lily up the path to the front door.

"I was wondering why I saw four crows this morning." She sighed, holding the door open as she stepped outside. "Head on in lad." She said to Harry. "Billy!" She called and soon there was a boy more than twice Harry's age standing next to who could only be his mother. "Go and get your dad. Be quick about it." The boy started to run off, but the woman grabbed him by the arm. "Get Mary too, I'll need help."

She ushered them into her house and Lily couldn't help but to cry. They had made it, they had made it to someone that could help them.

The woman moved around and before she knew it, Lily was laying on a bed, a few pillows stuffed behind her head and Molly was barking out orders to both James and Remus, completely unaware that James was her King and Lily her Queen. Though after the coup, maybe she wouldn't have cared either way.

She put a cool hand on Lily's forehead and frowned. "You're warm." She said. "What in the gods names were you doing all the way out here on foot when you're as pregnant as you are?"

"How do you know I don't live nearby?" The woman's frown only deepened, and she clicked her tongue before turning toward the door. Lily followed her gaze and caught sight of almost half a dozen more redheaded children that looked just like Billy had. "Did I ask for you all to be standing in the doorway? How do you think that's helpful? Charlie run off and find out what's taking Billy so long." She shooed them all away.

"They all yours?" Lily asked.

"See if you lived around here, you'd know. My name is Molly by the way. Molly Weasley. Me and Mary are going to help you out here."

"Is Mary your daughter?" She asked, hoping that if that were the case, Mary was slightly older than all the other kids she'd seen.

"Good as," Molly crossed her arms over her chest and then checked Lily's forehead again. "She lost her folks a while back. Sharp girl. Probably your age." Well good then, that meant that she wasn't a child. "Is one of those men your husband?" She asked, her tone sharper than before, as though if Lily were this pregnant and unmarried she'd have a thing or two to say.

"Yes." Lily nodded. "The dark-haired man."

"And what would your name be? Or is there a reason you all look like you've been living in the woods for the last week or so?"

"My name is L-Lela." She didn't have to come up with why she had tripped over her own name because there was that shooting pain again. "Something is wrong," She said quietly, clutching her stomach and unable to keep the secret in any longer. "It wasn't like this last time. It didn't feel like this with Harry."

She heard Molly swear under her breath and then James was walking in with a bucket of water and some towels, which Lily assumed is what Molly had asked him to bring. She looked at him just as he ran a hand through his hair, leaving it at the very top of his head as though it were stuck there. His eyes were wide, and he looked so helpless, and just like with Harry earlier, Lily thought he might feel better if he had something to do.

And she was scared. She was scared for their unborn child and for how much what was coming was going to hurt. She was scared that after all the stress that her body had gone through running for her life she wouldn't be able to do it.

So without saying anything she reached out a hand to him. He looked at it, frozen in place for a second. And it wasn't lost on Lily that the last thing that they'd said to one another had been rather nasty. She wouldn't have been surprised if he didn't take her hand because she was doing the very thing that she'd accused him of doing. She was reaching out to him because he was the only one here. Because he was all she had.

He took her hand though, squeezing it tightly within his and took a step closer to her. "I'm scared." She said quietly.

"It's all going to be alright," He said, and she knew that there was no way for him to know that. She wanted to tell him that, but then another woman was rushing into the room, skidding to a clumsy halt in the doorway before stumbling into the room. She had loose brown curls and big, wide matching eyes.

"Where did they come from?" She asked Molly, not even looking at Lily as she went to sterilize her hands. "And papa, you're gonna have to go and wait outside." She eyed James.

"She tried to tell me that she lives nearby." Molly gave Mary a significant look and Mary laughed.

"So they're on the run then. Not a convenient time to be running, yeah?" She finally looked at Lily and gave her a wide smile. "What's your name, love?"

"Lela." Lily said, squeezing James' hand one last time before she let go and nodded to him so he knew that she was alright with him leaving now. He started toward the door.

"Never got your name, did I?" Molly looked at James, her brow turned down, assessing.

"John." He said, not missing a beat.

"And that other man you're with? He's got a soldier's gait to him."

"He was a solider." James said and then he walked out of the room.

Molly shook her head and turned back to Lily, who was clenching the bedsheets at her side. From fear or pain, she wasn't sure anymore.

She wished that her mother was here. Which made her laugh- a hard and labored sound that caused Mary and Molly to narrow their brow at her. But the last time that Lily had gone through this, the last time that her mother was there…

Well Lily hadn't wanted her there at all.

oOo

_"It's all going to be alright, darling." Her mother crooned into her ear, making Lily want to shove her the hell away. What did she know?_

_"Why the hell would you say that?" Lily asked, shoving her head back against the pillow, but allowing her mother's cool fingers to trace over her forehead._

_"Because, I've been through this twice if you'll remember." Rose Evans had always been patient with her youngest daughter. And Lily wasn't like Petunia, Lily knew that her older sister hadn't been the reason that Rose's hair had turned grey earlier than it should have._

_"Bloody hell," She clenched her teeth together. "Why? Why did you do it a second time?" She felt a fat, hot tear slide down her cheek but couldn't be bothered to wipe it away._

_"You'll want to do it a second time as well," Rose said, wiping the tear away from her._

_"No. No, I'm never doing this again." She shook her head, certain that she was telling the truth in that moment._

_"You just wait, flower." Her mother's voice dipped, getting a more honeyed tone as she continued. "They're going to lay this precious little baby in your arms before you know it. And as soon as you look into their eyes, you're going to fall in love. It's going to break your heart and piece it all back together and you'll want another one."_

_"Mum," Lily too in a sharp breath through her nose and closed her eyes for a moment. "If you can't stop spewing nonsense I'm going to kick you out." Her mother chuckled lighting and reached for a damp cloth, blotting it on Lily's forehead and cheeks._

_"I'm not going anywhere, love."_

_And she didn't. She stayed right next to Lily while she yelled and screamed and cried. She didn't balk at any of the language that Lily chose to use, she didn't reprimand her and remind her that there were people listening just outside her chamber doors. She just held her hand and let flow a relentless stream of comforting and encouraging words._

_And when it was finally over, when the nurse had finally placed a tiny baby boy in Lily's arms, she found that her mother was right. She was suddenly crying for an entire different reason and her mother, still by her side, wiped those tears too._

oOo

Things went very differently this time around.

There was no castle physician that assured Lily that he'd done this for hundred of noble ladies over the years. There were no maids fluttering about tending to her every need. There were no soft sheets under her. And most importantly, her mother wasn't there.

Molly was harsh and commanding, Mary followed the other's orders, the sheets were stiff and scratchy, the air seemed too warm, her body was so sore and tired.

"I can't do this." She found herself repeating, first quietly and then getting louder.

"Like hell you can't." Molly snapped. "You're going to push this baby out or both of you are going to die." It had been a very long time since anyone had spoken to Lily so bluntly and it brought her to the edge of weeping.

Mary pressed her lips together and sat on the edge of the bed, reaching down and taking her hand. "You're going to do great." She said, her voice much gentler. "Molly's been through this more than half a dozen times. She's got nothing but strong and healthy children. You're in good hands."

"Where's Harry?" She asked.

"You're boy?" Molly asked. "Probably with his father and that solider fellow, yes?"

"Are we safe here?" She asked, not sure if she was actually concerned past this room or if she was trying to put off the inevitable.

"Safer than you were in the woods." Molly took her position at the end of the bed. "You said that you felt like something was wrong, lass." Her tone softened for a minute. "You put this off and I can guarantee you that we won't be able to help with whatever it is."

Lily took a deep breath and looked over to Mary, who only gave her a determined look and nodded.

Lily sucked at her bottom lip and then gave one sharp nod. "Alright." She said hoarsely. "Let's do this."

oOo

James left the room only to start pacing back and forth in front of Remus, Harry and a hoard of redheaded children that he could only assume where Molly's.

He ran a hand through his hair and let out a frustrated huff. He needed to be doing something helpful. He needed to be in there with her, fetching things that Molly needed if that's all that he could do.

He'd been so angry with Lily before she'd gone into labor. How she'd taken the kindness that he was showing to her and Harry now and twisted it into something ugly. It wasn't that she thought that way that made him angry, it wasn't that she was angry with him; it was that she was right.

He had waited until he'd lost absolutely everything before he turned to her. He'd waited far to long to try and have some kind of relationship with her, and simply being her husband by law didn't account for much out here. It didn't mean anything, not to her. And he couldn't blame her. He'd never done his part before.

All of those silent dinners and awkward nightly encounter, all of them came back to him one by one and he saw thousands of opportunities that he'd wasted. Four years ago, he'd known that he should have talked to her. He'd known that he should have pulled her aside on their wedding day and explained his feelings to her about both his parents and the wedding, but he hadn't. He figured that he would have botched it up, but this was worse. Where he'd gotten them now was worse than anything he could have said to her back then.

"You look familiar." One of the redheaded children said and James' heart leap to his throat. He should have come up with something to say when someone inevitably recognized him as the king. He turned to try and smooth things over when he realized that this boy was looking at Remus. He narrowed his brow and looked back at Remus.

The knight shrugged. "I don't know where you would have seen be before lad. I lived far from here before I moved to the city to work at the castle."

The boy, with big orange curls and freckles covering his cheeks, tilted his head to the side. "We didn't always live here either. Not before-" The boy next to him, who seemed to be a couple years younger, elbowed him in the side. "Percy!" The boy exclaimed, rubbing his side and then he pressed his lips together, realizing that he'd been about to say too much.

"I was just saying that you look familiar is all." The boy shrugged.

Remus nodded, wisely not asking questions.

There was a scream from the other side of the door, Lily's scream and James took two steps toward the door before he remembered that he was barred from entering.

"Why don't we go and wait outside." Remus suggested, and James wanted to say no, but one look at Harry's white face and he knew that it was the right call.

"Alright." He nodded.

"We'll show you around!" The curly haired boy and Percy hopped down from the stairs they'd been sitting on, two identical boys following after them, younger still.

James watched Harry as he took in these children. It wasn't often that Harry got to interact with children his own age as there weren't any in the castle. James knew that it would have been lonely if he didn't have other people to keep him busy. But still, playing with children was different than playing with an accommodating adult. James had not had many close friends growing up, and he still didn't.

He wanted more for Harry, and once he got back to the castle, he'd have to remedy that. Get some nobles to bring their young children up for a playdate or something.

He followed the children and Remus out the back door of the house, and just before stepping over the threshold another scream came from the bedroom. He felt his blood run cold at the sound and had to force himself to keep moving. There was nothing he could do for Lily right now so he would have to be there for Harry. His son was clearly shaken by everything that was happening.

"So how many of you are there exactly?" Remus asked, realizing that James and Harry could both use a distraction.

"Seven." Percy said. "These are my brothers Charlie, Fred and George." He said, pointing to them in turn. "Bill ran off to get dad and Mary."

"And the other two?" James asked.

"Ron and Ginny are with dad and the others." Charlie answered.

"What others?" Percy elbowed Charlie in the side again and James narrowed his brow. He didn't know what this place was, but the more they talked, the more questions he had. He still kept them to himself though. He didn't want anyone to think that he was inviting questions about his own circumstances.

Before the two boys could finish glaring at one another, a man who could only be their father came walking towards them from the woods, a young girl on his back and a small boy that looked to be Harry's age running after him. "Sorry for the hold up," He said by way of greeting. "We were pretty far back there. Looking for truffles for the wife. Name is Arthur." He held out his hand to James, still holding his daughter.

James looked him over and knew that he'd been lying. "Nice to meet you." Another scream came from in the house and James closed his eyes.

"Don't worry about your wife." Arthur said, looking toward the bedroom. "Molly's an excellent midwife."

"Where's your other son?" Remus asked. "Bill?"

"He'll be along."

"With your truffles?"

"Remus," James warned and then looked back at Arthur. "We're very grateful for your help in our time of need, sir."

"You can call me Arthur." He cleared his throat and looked between the two men. "Molly and I help a lot of travelers like yourselves." He looked over his shoulder, but no one else seemed to be there. "Where are you all coming from?"

James looked at Remus who took a deep breath and stepped forward. "The city. It's been over run with mad men. There was a coup, no one knows where the king is. We just barely made it out with our lives." It was then that James realized how good Remus was at lying.

"Mad men?" Arthur shook his head. "I know a few of those. To what end are these men wrecking havoc?"

James gnashed his teeth together and clenched his fists at his sides. "Their leader has laid claim to the throne. They cut their way through the city, murdered everyone in the castle and then called themselves saviors."

Arthur looked James over carefully. "You're a nobleman." He said at length. It was not a question and didn't require any explanation on James' part. It was almost dismissive. "I'm sure you lost friends, and I don't mean to spit on that, but Molly and me… the people we help…" He shrugged. "We're poor folk. We let the nobleman fight over who gets to rule because at the end of the day, it doesn't really make much difference to us."

"You don't care who sits on the throne?" James asked incredulously. "You don't care if it's currently drenched in blood?"

Arthur looked around at the children and then back at James as if to remind him that they were all there. "Do I wish there was a just and kind ruler to watch out for all the people of this land? Of course I do. But until that happens- no. I don't care who sits on the throne." There was another scream, this one longer and louder than the first two.

He was shaking now. He'd failed his people to the point that they didn't care who sat on the throne and presently there was nothing he could do for his wife- who hated him most likely. There was also little he could do for his son, who still looked pale as a ghost. He'd never felt so helpless before.

"Heard we had a few visitors." A new voice came from the edge of the forest and James turned to see Bill walked out beside a man with long black hair and a sword in his belt. James reached for his own sword only to remember that he didn't have it anymore. Remus' hand went to his own hilt and James, with no means to protect anyone, walked over to Harry and stood in front of him.

"Yes. This man's wife is giving birth." Arthur answered. "And Sirius may look dangerous, but he's- well he's not going to bite."

"I might." Sirius shrugged. "Day's still young."

"They're coming from the city. Said they've been on the run since some coup took over the castle."

"They kill the royals?" Sirius asked, and James couldn't be certain but he sensed something of fear in his voice.

"They said that the royals are missing."

"Well dammit." He muttered and that's when James recognized him.

"Language." Arthur admonished.

"Dad?" Harry looked up at James and James shook his head, willing Harry not to say anything that would damn them all. "Why-"

"Best keep quiet, lad." James said, reaching down and ruffling Harry's hair. They should have at least tried to explain some of this to Harry, but they hadn't the time. Lily went into labor and everything became a blur.

"Keep quiet about what?" Sirius asked, narrowing his brow. James didn't have time to work out what Sirius Black, the eldest son of a very old and noble family, was doing in the woods. He just hoped that the other man wouldn't recognize him.

"You've all got your secrets, and we won't ask." Remus said, his hand still on his hilt. Sirius saw where his hand was and laughed.

"You wouldn't get far with me, boy."

"Boy?" Remus huffed and shook his head.

"Remus," James warned. "The last thing we need right now is to-"

"Oh come on," Sirius interrupted. James' brow went up at the interruption before he realized that he couldn't really do anything about it. As king, no one had ever interrupted him, save his mother. "It would be a bit of fun."

And then Lily screamed again and Sirius's eyes shot toward the house. James looked away from him and ran another hand through his hair.

"How long has that been going?" Sirius asked.

"Too long." James muttered.

"She's going to be okay, right?" Harry asked, looking between James and Remus.

"Of course she is, lad." Arthur answered before either of them were able to find their voices.

"I remember the racket mum made when Ginny was born." Bill said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yeah, alright, why don't you lot run off and stack firewood or something useful?" Arthur said, shooing off the hoard of boys. Ginny squirmed in his arms but he shook his head. "You're still too small to be running off lass."

"Am I too small?" Harry asked.

"Nah, go ahead." James said, as he could see the wood pile from where he stood. "Be careful though."

Despite looking worried, Harry ran after all the redheaded kids.

"You're acting like you didn't go through this not too long ago." Arthur said, walking over and patting James on the back. Sirius had gone awfully quite himself and was now leaning up against the back of the house.

"She said that she thought something was wrong." James muttered, crossing his arms and then he started pacing again. "Nothing was wrong last time."

"And maybe it's nothing this time too." Arthur said, his voice not sounding too convincing. "Molly's helped loads of women give birth before."

"I feel like we might be running out of luck." James' voice was quieter now. There was another scream and he tensed.

oOo

_James was told that he'd have to wait until after the baby had been born and cleaned before he would be allowed in to see it._

_And so he didn't think that there was any reason to leave his study until someone came along to fetch him._

_Lily had become pregnant awfully quickly after they had gotten married, and despite being rather young and inexperienced with children, he found himself awfully excited to be a father. His own father had been a great man, someone that James had looked up to and had a great respect for. But more than that, he'd loved his dad._

_He'd never been made to feel like he couldn't ask for help or take a step back to reevaluate, two things that his father had said made a good king. His father always listened to him and let him share his own ideas, never belittling them- even when they were terrible ideas. He simply talked it out until James realized where the holes were and could work out a way to patch them up himself._

_He'd watched the way that noblemen talked to their sons, and he'd been quick to realize that the way his father spoke to him wasn't the way most fathers talked to their children._

_He wanted to be like his own father. He wanted his child to look up to him as he'd looked up to the previous king._

_It had taken longer than he'd thought it would, for someone to come and fetch him. Though he knew that childbirth could take days in some cases, he'd thought that it was normally rather quick. But he'd been informed that Lily had gone into labor that morning and no one came to find him until after he'd eaten his dinner._

_When he walked in the room, everyone he passed was smiling at him. It was as though there was something in the air that was just infectious. A new heir was always a reason to celebrate, and one so early on in the marriage was extra special, seen to be lucky for the union and the kingdom._

_The door to Lily's chambers was pulled open for him and his eyes zoned in on the tiny bundle that Lily had swaddled in her arms. There was a mop of black hair sticking out at the top, but that was all he could see at the moment._

_The doctor didn't say anything as he approached, which James distantly thought was odd, but he continued toward Lily's bed. He stopped at the edge and looked over her face before leaning closer to get a glimpse of his child._

_His heart caught in his throat at the first look._

_"It's a boy," Lily said, her voice hoarse. She reached up and tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear and smiled at James and then down at their son._

_"A boy?" James voice was soft, a tone that he didn't entire recognize as being his own._

_"He's absolutely perfect, isn't he?" Lily asked, looking up at him again. He looked at her, only able to give her a nod before his eyes were drawn back to his son's face. He was so tiny, his nose, his mouth… and then he had so much hair that it looked almost comical but still perfect. His eyes were the only thing that wasn't tiny. They were big and wide open, looking around at everything._

_"He's got your eyes," James said absent mindedly._

_"Do you want to hold him?" Lily's voice was quiet._

_"Could I?" James slid onto the bed next to her. He looked up to ask someone for assistance but saw that the only other people in the room now where Lily's maids who were on the other side of the room gathering laundry. "I've never held a baby." He told Lily._

_"It's not hard," Lily readjusted her arms and their baby. "Just make sure you keep an arm under his head."_

_James put his arms out how Lily's had been when he walked in and let her place the baby in his arms and readjust them. He saw her wince, but she shook her head at his look and just leaned back against the pillows._

_He looked down at the baby in his arms and felt a warmth spread throughout his chest and all the way down to his fingers and toes. He'd never felt like this before. He'd never felt anything close to something like this before. It was a sense of overwhelming, unconditional love; which was both frightening and euphoric._

_"Absolutely perfect." He echoed Lily's sentiment from earlier and felt her lean her head against his shoulder just as their son opened his mouth and let out a yawn._

_It wasn't long before both Lily and their child had fallen asleep against James._

oOo

After Lily's scream, there was a new sound. It was a different scream altogether and it had James running back into the house, no one tried to stop him either.

Because that second scream, that was the sound of his son or daughter letting out their first breath.


	3. Four Crows

_"...a murder of crows gormandized until they were satiated."_  
_― Rex Curry_

Lily had known that as soon as James heard the baby cry out, he wasn't going to wait for the all clear. So when he practically plowed through the door, she wasn't all that surprised. Molly however gave a shriek and put a hand over her chest.

"They'll be none of that, you hear me? Calm and quiet moving in this room. Mum and baby need their rest." She admonished, but it didn't seem as though James had heard a word she'd said. His eyes were wide, and on the bundle that Lily was cradling protectively against her chest.

It'd been different in many ways the first-time round. Lily had still been hopeful then, she'd still been trying to find a place in James' life, in his heart even. So before she'd let someone go and fetch him to see Harry for the first time, she had her maids clean her up, and clean up the room. Childbirth was messy and she'd cried an awful lot. So the sheets had been changed and her hair had been combed and dried. Her face washed, her clothing changed into something that wasn't blood and sweat stained. He'd walked into a staged room.

This time that wasn't the case. There were soiled rags everywhere, the water that had brought in was red, the baby hadn't even been cleaned off all the way yet.

He didn't seem to notice that either. "You're alright?" He asked as he crossed the room in a few strides, dropping down to his knees at her side. She looked over his face, not sure what she was looking for. "You're both alright?" He reached a hand out as though he were going to caress her cheek and then thought better of it.

"We're both alright." She said quietly.

"Both in need of rest." Molly repeated, but Mary swatted her on the arm, picked up the bucket of dirty water and started pushing Molly out of the room. "Rest!" Molly called over her shoulder and Mary closed the door behind them, giving Lily an apologetic smile.

As soon as the door closed Lily turned back to look at James, and even as tired as she was, she let out a short laugh. He looked up at her, brows raised. She shook her head slightly, "I'm sorry, I just… I've never seen your hair look like that before." It was sticking up in odd angles, he'd obviously been running his hands through it.

"And I've never seen you looking as you do, but I wasn't going to say anything." James laughed as well, shaking his head.

"You still shouldn't have." But she couldn't help the smile she wore. She looked down and brushed a soft finger over her new baby's cheek. "It's a girl. And she's healthy. Stubborn and difficult but healthy." She chuckled, sniffling as tear welled and then spilled over, sliding down her cheek.

"She's okay." James said, not quite a question, but he didn't sound entirely sure so Lily looked up at him and smiled.

"She's okay." His shoulders sagged and he let out a ragged breath. Lily tried to give him a reassuring smile, but he covered his eyes with his hand and leaned over the bed further, letting his elbows rest on the mattress. "She was breeched- which means she was in the wrong position. Molly had to move her around, which is what took so long. But she was fine the whole time."

Lily realized that he was shaking slightly and took a deep breath. "You can't- you can't do that." She said, looking up at the ceiling. "If you start crying then I'll start crying again. And who knows what Grace will do if she sees the both of us-"

"Grace?" She turned her head and found that he was looking at her again. His eyes were red and wet, but curious as well.

She nodded, chewing on the tip of her tongue. "I want to call her Grace." The corner of his mouth turned at one side and he nodded.

"I like it." And then he was shaking his head. "I thought I was going to lose both of you." He said, his voice quiet, but it still broke.

"We're both alright." She shifted Grace in her arms and looked at her again. "You want to hold her before Mary comes in with her bath?" She asked, thinking that holding her might make him realize that she really was okay. He nodded and moved to take her from Lily's arms. She smiled faintly, remembering the first time he'd held Harry and how unsure he'd been. He carefully moved to the other side of the bed and sat down so that his side was against Lily's.

She'd done that last time; leaned up against him. She'd hoped that Harry would be a changing point in their marriage. She'd hoped that they'd all be a family after that. And while they were a family, it wasn't really the type of family that she'd always pictured herself having. It was a strange balancing act that she did; being constantly disappointed in the way that things turned out while being completely thrilled with her son.

She still let her head rest on his shoulder as she watching him carefully brush at Grace's dark hair. It was lighter than Harry's had been, and there was far less of it as well. She was watching Grace, so she didn't see James turn his head toward her, but she felt him press his lips to the crown of her head. "I'm sorry." He said, tilting his head so his forehead was resting against her. "Things shouldn't have happened like this." For a moment she thought he was talking about Grace being born in this house, without a proper physician. He might have been talking about the castle being taken as well. But his words were too heavy to mean that only the last few days had gone wrong.

She should have been bolder when she first met him. She should have argued with him about the best flavored scones and made him laugh. She shouldn't have listened to her mother and sister. She should have stolen looks and innocent touches.

Because then he might have wanted to see her again before his parents fell ill. Or maybe he wouldn't have wanted that, and he wouldn't have decided to ask her to marry him either.

Or maybe she should have said no. She could tell when he asked her that he was grieving. She knew that he had only chosen her because his parents had wanted him to and they weren't here anymore. She'd known and she said yes and that hadn't been fair to her. Perhaps it hadn't been fair for either of them.

But she was so tired just then. Three days in the woods and then to go through labor before taking a breath… her eyelids were heavy, and James was warm and soon she was dozing. She didn't hear Mary come in to wash Grace.

James had wanted to let Lily sleep, but as soon as he'd finished helping Mary give Grace a bath, the new baby had started to cry. Mary told him that she was hungry and went to wake Lily. Lily looked quite startled, both at having been woken and at what Mary said. He took that to mean that she hadn't thought about the fact that she wasn't going to have a nurse with her this time round. But before James left the room to go and find Harry and Remus, she'd already shaken off the look and was sitting up in bed, determined. He smiled at her, but she wasn't looking.

When he reached the backyard, he realized that he hadn't actually seen much of it the last time he was out here. His nerves had blinded him to looking past what was directly in front of him. There was the wood stack that he'd noticed only enough to tell Harry that it was alright for him to go and play there. He could see them all there now, climbing up the pile, tossing a few pieces into a neat stack every now and then. There was a clothesline connected from the corner of the house to a large tree in the middle of the yard that sagged under the weight that was on it. Too many little blankets and clothes. James wouldn't be surprised to see the string snap in half and send all those clothes to the ground. There was a pen full of chickens just beyond that.

And the tree line on the edge of the yard seemed to be thicker than any tree line that James had seen. He couldn't see more than a few feet into the forest from where he was now.

He had only taken a few steps out of the door when Harry came running toward him.

"Ms. Molly said that the baby is here!" He said excitedly and James smiled down at him.

"The baby is here," He got down on one knee, so he could be eye to eye with his son. "You have a baby sister now. Her name is Grace."

"Grace?" He squeezed his little hands at his sides and bounced on the balls of his feet. "Can I see her?"

"In just a little while." James promised, he pulled Harry to him and kissed his forehead. His family was okay. They were all okay.

He heard Remus walk up behind him and he stood. "Congratulations-" He cut himself off and cleared his throat.

"John will do, Remus."

"Right. Well congratulations, John."

"Thank you, my friend."

He pulled Remus in for a hug as well, on the one hand because he was exuberantly happy, and on the other so he could tell him the name that Lily was going by.

Sirius had been listening nearby and walked over. "See, nothing to worry about, right? Well apart from you all being on the run." James heart leapt to his throat. "Or, that's what Molly and Mary seem to think anyway."

"We just need to find somewhere to stay. The city was taken over." James said.

"Alright, John." Sirius winked at him and James knew then that Sirius recognized him from before. It shouldn't have made James' stomach tighten anxiously, but then Sirius said, "You keep your story. But I hope you know what your secrecy will cost you."

"It sounds like your threatening me." James said, narrowing his brow.

"Then you aren't listening properly. I'm never all that subtle when I'm threatening someone. I'm only suggesting that you'll find no further help from us if you're keen on lying." James looked over this man and took him in. From his hair, to his eyes, to the way he carried himself. What had happened to him?

"We're not lying!" Harry said. "We had to leave because everything was on fire! And there- there were those men wearing masks everywhere. They were hurting people-" Harry's bottom lip started trembling and James quickly bent down to scoop him up in his arms. For his part, Sirius did look as though he hadn't enjoyed upsetting the young child.

"I hope you're happy for reminding him of all that." He snapped and turned back toward the house. "Come on, Harry." He said, ruffling up his hair. There was no need to give Harry a different name, since Lily and James were the only ones to call him that. To everyone else, he was Prince Henry, named after James' grandfather. "Let's go see if mum is ready to make an introduction."

oOo

_It wasn't often that James was around children his own age. His parents were older, and the castle was always rather quiet. There were few servants who had children that he could coax into playing a few games with him, but then their parents would catch them and haul off their kid. Apparently, they weren't supposed to play with the future king._

_As the only heir, James had grown up rather sheltered. He'd heard noblemen whisper that they didn't want their sons to accidentally harm the boy, because who knew what the consequences of that would be. And so James didn't have friends. At least not children._

_There was Nan. But she was always telling him that she was too old to play with him. She mostly just read him stories. Which he could listen to for hours without getting restless, though he still longed to run in the street with the kids he saw down there._

_When the Black family came to visit from a city far away, James was thrilled to see that there were five children with them. Including two boys that seemed to be around his age. He had been antsy all throughout the introductions, excited to see if these two boys would be any fun. After all, not being from around here, they hadn't heard that no one played with him._

_"My name is James." He said, sticking his hand out as soon as he could get in front off the two boys. Their parents were off talking, and the older girls were standing quietly beside their mother and Aunt._

_The elder of the two boys quirked a brow and then sniggered at James' extended hand. It was the younger who accepted. "I'm Regulus, and this is my brother Sirius. You'll have to pardon his manners." James' eyes crinkled at that. This boy looked about six or seven, why was he talking like that?_

_"Alright. Do you two want me to show you around the castle? I know all the secret passages." James offered, looking between the two of them._

_Sirius looked over toward the girls and sighed. "Mum wouldn't be happy if we ducked out."_

_"She said that we're meant to be on our best behavior." Regulus added with a solemn nod._

_James only grinned. "I'm the prince." He said and then turned toward his dad. "Dad!" He called out, waiting for his father to turn before continuing. "Can I show them around the castle?" The king smiled and gave his son a nod before returning to his conversation with the noblemen. "Come on," James laughed, taking off toward the door._

_Sirius and Regulus exchanged gleeful looks and didn't chance a glance at their mother before the quickly followed after him. After all, it wasn't as though she could say no after they'd gotten permission from the king._

_The boys raced through the corridors, stopping every so often so that James could show them a trap door or a hidden passageway._

_They spent the entire afternoon like that, and for one shinning day, James felt as though he had friends. The boys laughed together, and they hid from servants and they pulled pranks on the kitchen staff. When it was time for the brothers to leave later that night, James had been rather disheartened._

_"I'll write to you." He said, holding his hand out to the older one. He didn't laugh at him this time but shook it firmly and nodded._

_"I suppose I could write you back then." James grinned and turned to Regulus too._

_"You'll make sure he does?" Regulus laughed and nodded._

_"I'm not all that good with my letters yet, but he can help me write a letter." He added and James grinned._

_And they did write each other. At least for a couple of months. But they were young and active and sitting still long enough to write a proper letter became too tedious. So eventually they lost touch. Though James would always think of the both of them as his first true friends, no matter how short a time they had together._

oOo

Lily tried not to let on that she'd never breastfed before, but Mary had picked up on it fairly quickly. "Are you that child's stepmother then?" She asked.

"Harry? No, he's mine." She said, feeling slightly incompetent, even though she'd managed to feed Grace, who was now dozing peacefully in her arms. "I just- With Harry I had a nurse for that."

"Ah," Mary nodded. There was definitely judgment in that tone, but Lily didn't say anything. She just averted her gaze. She'd never even thought twice about having a wet-nurse, so much so that she hadn't realized that she wouldn't have one for Grace until it came time to feed her. It was just how things went. She was of noble birth- a Queen. She had other responsibilities. She couldn't guarantee that her time would be free whenever her child needed to eat, and it wasn't as though she wanted to let her child go hungry, so she had someone else feed them.

She was grateful when there was a soft knock on the door, because she didn't have anything to say to Mary and the other girl clearly didn't have anything to say to her.

Mary walked over and pulled open the door and Lily smiled when she saw Harry standing on his tiptoes, waiting for permission to enter the room. Mary quietly stepped out.

"Someone is rather excited to meet their sister," James' voice had an edge to it, even though his smile seemed genuine.

"Well then come on in and see her," Lily grinned. Harry raced into the room and climbed up on the bed. Before Lily could blink, he was at her side, peering down at Grace's tiny features.

"Is she asleep?" Harry tried to whisper, his voice still managing to be at a normal volume but hoarse sounding.

"She is," Lily nodded, feeling James sit down on her other side.

"Mum should probably be asleep too." He said, and Lily nodded. She'd only gotten the few minutes that James had been holding Grace before she'd been woken up to feed her.

"I am awfully tired."

"Me too," Harry let out a yawn as if to punctuate his statement and settled against Lily's side. "I think I like her already. She's so small." He yawned again and that made Lily yawn as well. She looked down at Harry and smiled at him. He'd been through so much these last couple of days, but he'd been especially brave today. She knew that she'd been loud and that he had heard her. It must have scared him, but he was all smiles again.

"Why don't you rest, heart." She kissed the top of his head. "Close your eyes and dream of sweet things." He didn't need to be told twice. And soon both of her children were sleeping against her. She felt so completely full at that moment.

"You know what I keep thinking?" She said, shaking her head slightly. "I keep thinking that my mother was right. She was right about most things my entire life mind you, but so was I normally."

James let out a huff of quiet laughter. "How does that work?"

"Well there are more than one way to be right most of the time. Though I was wrong in this particular instance."

"What instance?"

She motioned to Grace. "I told her- when I was in labor with Harry- I told her that I was never going to want to do this again. I kept asking her why she had a second child." She couldn't help but laugh. "I threatened to kick her out of the room if she didn't stop telling me that everything was going to be okay, that I wasn't going to mind all the pain after I saw him." She wasn't looking at James as she spoke, just her children. A damn had been broken earlier today, and she didn't think she'd be able to keep her words at bay any longer. She spoke them more for her own sake then for James'.

"You threatened to kick her out?" She could tell that he was raising his brow, she didn't know how she could tell without looking at him, but she could. "I can't picture that. Before today, I couldn't picture you raising your voice at anyone quite honestly."

"See that actually might be my mother's fault. Well my sister's fault too. They told me to temper myself in that first meeting. Told me not to argue with you- actually they said that I shouldn't argue with anyone at all. Then I guess I just felt like that's how I had to act after I took my vows and became Queen." She yawned again and leaned back against the wall. There was no headboard on this bed. "Not that anyone would argue with me." She huffed. "They don't even really talk to me. Remus let's me talk to him, and he'll reply when it'd be impolite not to, but that's about it. Before he worked at the castle- if you didn't speak to me at dinner, I could go the whole day without uttering a word." Quieter now. "It's been so lonely."

She heard him sigh. "I'm sorry."

"I don't want to do this right now." She said. "I just want to keep being happy. I mean look at her," She ran a finger down her cheek. "I don't want to- I don't want to do this right now."

"I kept telling myself-"

"James." She'd never used that tone with him before. Even though her voice was quiet, it was still forceful. It was almost like kicking someone when they were down, except they were in the same position here. They'd both been knocked down.

He nodded. "You should get some sleep."

"You too," She said, though her lids were getting rather heavy. She felt him shift something around, but by now here eyes were closed and she didn't think that she'd be able to open them for some time.

oOo

James left the room after he'd made sure that the three of them were comfortable. There was a conversation that he needed to have before he could get any rest himself.

Remus met him just outside the bedroom. "Sirius is going to be a problem." He said, and James only sighed. He was doing that a lot today.

"I really don't think he will be." James said. "We were friends once."

"He knows who you are!" Remus tensed and then let his head drop back so he could look up at the ceiling. "Your ma-" He cut himself off and James could tell that he was awfully uncomfortable speaking to him so informally. "We're going to need to get out of here as soon as it's safe for Lily."

"She just had a baby. It's not going to be safe for her for a while now. And Sirius isn't going to tell anyone." He said, not knowing why he was so certain of it since the man had already alluded to wanting James to come clean. He could hardly bet the safety of his family on a friendship that was more than a decade deceased. But Sirius had been a good friend to him, if only for a short while. He didn't think that he'd do anything to endanger him now. Not if he could properly explain things to him.

"You can't possibly know that for sure."

"I'm going to go and talk to him."

"That could make it worse." James gave Remus a look and he had the common decency to look cowed, though James could tell that it was a show.

"It's not going to make it worse. There was a time when Sirius was the only friend that I had. He'll listen to what I have to say."

"And what, may I ask-"

"No you may not." James snapped. "I know that things have all been shot-to-hell, but you have done enough questioning me today." He didn't feel good about snapping at Remus, in fact he instantly regretted it. But after everything with Lily in the woods, he couldn't take anyone else belittling him. He couldn't take any one else talking down to him.

And even though he really couldn't take it, he walked off to go and find Sirius.

It didn't take long, as he was still near the edge of the house. It seemed as though he were waiting for James, and he didn't know if that were a good sign or not. James nodded his head toward the road and didn't stop to make sure that Sirius was following him.

When they got to the front of the house, out of earshot of all the children, Molly, Mary and Arthur, that's when Sirius spat out, "What the bloody hell happened?"

"I could ask you the same thing." He said, looking the man up at down. Gone were the fine cloth and gold embellishing's that he had worn the first time that James had met him. His current clothing looked almost tattered, but even if it had been in pristine condition, they were working clothes. Not that of a noble.

"You could," Sirius nodded. "But I feel like your current situation is more pressing for everyone." He made a vague gesture with his hand and then shrugged. "My families lands were taken, it's not much of a story. What are you and the Queen doing in the middle of the woods?"

James looked around and raised his brow. "We're doing our best to keep our identities hidden, thank you." He sighed. "And I've already told you. My story was the truth, but we weren't run out of the city so much as we escaped the castle."

"How did you manage that?"

"Remus." James nodded back toward the house. "I don't know how, but he seemed to be one step ahead of them. He came to my room before the alarm was even sound." Sirius narrowed his brow, and James was uncomfortable with the idea that he may not trust Remus' intentions or motives. "He's a good man. Always sharper than everyone else. We'd be dead if it weren't for him."

Sirius shrugged. "Alright then. Well it's probably Lord Riddle that's thrown you out on your arses. He's been keen on that for a while."

"Tom Riddle? Why do you suspect him?"

Sirius crossed his arms over his shoulders. "My family weren't as loyal to the crown as they appeared to be." James narrowed his eyes. "Oh don't worry. I'm not going to finish you off or anything. Fought in your bloody war for you after someone questioned my father's loyalty. He sent me off without much thought. Would have sent Reg too if he were old enough."

James stood straighter and tried to soften his look. "I know that it's been a good number of years since we could call each other friend, but I'm really hoping that I can count on you to keep my secret to yourself. Lily's in no state to move right now or we'd leave tonight-"

"You'd find no trouble from Molly and Arthur." Sirius promised. "But who you are out here is your own business. It's not as though I go around calling myself a lord." He scoffed.

James smiled, grateful that he had asked for nothing in return. James had nothing to offer him. "So what do you go by then? Just Sirius?"

The wicked grin that came over the other man's face had James far more intrigued than he would have admitted.

"Nah," He shook his head. "Out here, I'm the Prince of Thieves."

oOo

He'd refused to go into further detail about that title, and instead had James follow him back around the house. He caught Arthur's look of concern, but Sirius simply said that he, 'Knew John from life before the woods.' And then Arthur seemed content. He didn't even stop Bill and Charlie from running after them.

Sirius pushed aside a piece of the thick brush and James realized that it had all been placed here by someone. The foliage was strung up to the branches above, creating the appearance of thicker and denser wood, but when Sirius pulled it back, it looked much the same as the wood that James had spent the last few days walking through.

And even from there, he could tell why they'd put up the wall of sticks and pine branches. There were tents of all different colors erected not forty yards from the edge of the forest.

James was completely perplexed.

"You're not the only one that has been run out of your home." Sirius said, seeing the look on James' face. "Nor are you the first to happen across the Weasley's family home. Though Peter and I got most of these people out here."

They had walked closer by now, and James could make out people milling about. Some where bringing in firewood to be chopped, some putting up more tents. There was animal pelts strung out to dry, and meats being cured and cooked. It was as though they had created a makeshift town out here.

"You and Peter, eh?" James heard the voice before he saw his owner drop down from a tree to their left. Sirius swore under his breath.

"You need to stop doing that, Reg."

"I helped too, you know." The younger man muttered. "Just as much as you did. And I don't have some stupid nickname either." He looked James up and down. "You know, we were wondering when they were going to take the castle." And then he turned on his heel and marched off, veering around the town, further into the wood.

"That'd be my brother." Sirius said, his voice serious for perhaps the first time. "He's taken our fall from nobility harder than I have. Seems to blame me for it too if you can believe it." He shook his head and then started back down the well-worn path.

James didn't know what to make of any of this, but there were now at least two people here that were aware that he was the king. He cleared his throat. "What is all of this?" He asked. Sirius waved to a few people nearby and shrugged.

"A save haven. A lot of these people were kicked out of their homes because they couldn't pay taxes. Even more of them are from Nottingham." He nodded toward a group of young boys. "We got them out just last week, they were headed off to some battle field." James shook his head.

"I've written the draft laws, I presided over them- children are not allowed to be drafted." He knew that Sirius had to be making some of this up. This place didn't seem real.

"Well," Sirius shrugged. "Doesn't seem like you've been the only one in charge for a while. Things closer to the castle are probably fine- or they were. We don't see many people coming from there. But other places like Nottingham, Godric's Hallow, well Tom seems to have more control over them. Him and his sheriff. You can ask anyone here if you don't believe me." Sirius shrugged.

James hadn't been to Nottingham in years, but he had spent his summers in Godric's Hallow since he was a boy, and he didn't think that some usurper could undermine his control in that territory.

"Who is this sheriff you keep mentioning?"

"Avery Nott." Sirius spat out his name. "Real piece of work. I fought with him for a few years, but then he got promoted. And then again. And now he fancies himself a miniature king seated beside this Riddle fellow. He's in charge of his coffers as far as we can tell. Him and this snake of a fellow named Snape."

James had heard of Nott's good fortune, he knew that he'd been a general in the army. He had met with his family before, sat across from Avery at feasts and banquets. The idea that this man who had laughed and smiled so easily, could be robbing the people of England for the very man who had just stolen James' throne made his blood boil.

"I take it you knew that he was the sheriff in Nottingham."

"Avery was a good man." James shook his head. "He can't be doing this of his own accord."

"I'm not so sure about that, but alright. I guess Tom could be threatening him with something. Having met him, I'm inclined to believe he's just a bastard though."

"Have you met Riddle?" Sirius shook his head.

"Glad of it too." He sounded shaken, and even though James hadn't known Sirius all that long, he didn't seem the type to be easily shaken. "Suppose we'll have to face him down eventually though."

"Face him down?"

"Yes, your majesty." Sirius looked over at him and gave a mock bow. "I for one don't plan to hide in the woods for the rest of my days. Peaceful as it is."

oOo

Lily woke to the sound of Molly humming just outside the bedroom door. Grace was no longer in her arms, but for some reason, she didn't feel panicked about it. She'd been panicked about everything lately, so it surprised her that she stayed calm. But Harry was still leaning against her arm and then she spotted a small bassinet just to his left.

She leaned forward and caught a glimpse of her baby daughter.

For the first time in a long while, she felt settled.

Though she knew that was a bit ridiculous. They couldn't stay here for too long. This was someone else's home. Soon they would have to pack up and get moving again, before the terrors that they were fleeing caught up with them and wreaked havoc on this pleasant family.

She sighed and gently moved Harry to the side so he was leaning against a pillow instead of Lily's arm and she gingerly moved her legs over the side of the bed. A lot of things were sore, and some things still hurt quite a bit, but she still got herself onto her feet and carefully started toward the door.

Molly didn't seem all that surprised to see her up and about. "Bathroom?" She asked, and Lily shook his head. "Hungry?"

"A cup of tea would be nice if you've got any." Molly nodded, and Lily moved toward the kitchen table. None of the chairs matched, but it was big enough to hold the entire redheaded family. She was halfway to the table when she found that she was already exhausted.

"If you would have asked me, I would have told you to stay in bed until tomorrow. Tomorrow afternoon really." Molly said, moving a kettle over a small fire built in the hearth.

Lily nodded, "I know. But I'm not planning on going far." She reached the table and slowly lowered herself onto a chair. "I just wanted to let them sleep a while. And thank you for everything you've done."

Molly looked over at her and nodded. "Well you're welcome, ma'am."

"Ma'am?" Lily raised her brow. "What's the reason for that?"

Molly pursed her lips and shook her head. "I don't know why the lot of you thought you'd be unrecognizable. Sirius recognized you before he was all the way out of the woods."

"You know who I am?" The thought didn't frighten her too much, as they wouldn't be here long, and there was no one around for Molly to tell.

"I'm afraid so."

"Well then," Lily sighed, and Molly walked over with the cup of tea. "That's that, I suppose."

"You're both much different than I would have expected."

Lily wrapped her hands around the mug and bit the tip of her tongue. "He's a bit lost, but I suppose I've decided that I'm done behaving how I'm meant to- or expected to." She glanced up at Molly.

"I guess people are people no matter who they are." Molly took a seat next to her. "So where were you really headed?" She asked, and Lily just shrugged.

"Getting to a town that had a doctor was our first priority after we realized that no one was following us."

Molly nodded, "Of course."

"But I don't know what their plan was after that. I was mostly worried about Harry the whole time." Another nod from the other mother. "He was so brave the whole time."

"He seems rather resilient."

"I don't expect you to put us up just because you know who we are." Lily said, pushing the words out quickly because she didn't want Molly to interrupt her. "You have children and a husband, and I don't want anything to happen to them or to you just because you showed us kindness."

Molly gave her a gentle smile, "You don't have to worry about us. We've been helping people in need for quite some time now."

Lily thought about Mary, how Molly had said that the girl was as good as another daughter to her. "More than just Mary then?"

"Oh yes." Molly nodded. "You're in the Sherwood forest, did you know?" Lily narrowed her brow and shook her head. She'd heard of these woods though. They were dangerous and full of bandits.

"Why do you stay here? Isn't it dangerous?" Molly only laughed.

"Not to us." She shrugged. "We don't have anything for bandits to steal for one. So you'll stay as long as you need." She didn't go on to answer any more questions after that and Lily didn't want to think much on it, because then the fragile bubble of peace that had surrounded her would burst.

It was a few hours later that she saw James again. After she had crawled back into bed and Harry had jumped up and ran off to play with Ron, Molly's youngest boy who was the same age as Harry.

He walked around the bed and looked down into the bassinet where Lily had just placed Grace. She felt like this round of feeding had gone over much more smoothly than the first time, though she didn't really want to share that with James so she just watched him watch Grace.

"I can't believe she's here." He said quietly and then tore his gaze away to look at Lily. She could hear what else he was saying in that. He couldn't believe that they'd made it through the last few days. He couldn't believe that they managed to find someone willing to help them. He couldn't believe that after everything, all of them were safe and able to be excited that Grace was here.

"Sirius Black is here." He started. Lily had heard of the Black family and everything that had happened to them, so she was surprised to hear that. "I wanted to tell you when I brought Harry in here, but you seemed so happy."

"Is he going to cause trouble?" She asked, not sure how he could. "Where is he exactly?" Her brow narrowed further. She'd been in the house all day and she hadn't seen anyone aside from Molly, Mary and the children. Arthur a few times as well.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and sighed. "There's a hidden town of sorts in the forest."

Lily had to take a minute to digest that, as the idea was a bit ridiculous. A hidden town? What did that even entail? "Why?" She asked, needing that piece of information before she could start piecing together the rest of it.

James let out a heavy sigh and let his head fall into his hands. "I've failed a lot of people." He said quietly. "Tom Riddle, he's been terrorizing poorer villages for years now. He took over Nottingham a while ago, Lord Nott is his regency. All the people who are in the woods back there," He lifted his head and nodded toward the back of the house. "They've had everything taken from them. It was like Remus' story about not being able to pay taxes but only with younger children, and a hundred times over."

Lily sat up straighter and narrowed her eyes. She thought back to the last time she'd seen Lord Nott. A few months ago, there had been a feast. He'd reported that all was well and quiet in Nottingham and the surrounding area. They'd had no reason not to believe him.

Though she remembered the look on his wife's face. The silent dissent that Lily had taken to mean that the other woman was simply unable to join a conversation that she had something to add to. Lily had felt a quiet sense of camaraderie with her, but now she wondered if perhaps his wife had just been wholly uncomfortable with his blatant lie.

"How long have they-" But she didn't know how to finish the question.

"Molly and Arthur moved out here four years ago." His eyes fell closed, as though they were too heavy for him to keep open. "They took some people with them, other's they found along the way. They're still taking in more people."

Four years ago.

That was just after his parents had died, when they were getting married. When the kingdom had been at it's most vulnerable. A change in leaders, a very young and untested King now on the throne. She understood instantly how someone could have come along and pushed back against the idea of James.

"And Sirius, he's told you all of this, yes?" He nodded. "So he has a lot of information?"

He turned his head and looked at her. "Yes. He seems to have a lot of information. He was a solider and then his family fell from nobility shortly before he returned home. His younger brother is back there too. They both know who I am. Who you are."

"So does Molly." Lily said. She hadn't been worried about it before because she didn't think that Molly had anyone to tell all the way out here, but perhaps she should be worried now. Though she still trusted Molly.

"I need to fix things." He said, his voice taking on that determined edge it got when he truly meant what he was saying. "I've let so much get broken." He looked over at her, his gaze somehow intensifying even more and she looked away, down at her hands.

"We need to fix things." She said. "These are my people too." She hadn't acted herself these last four years, and there was no way to know if things would be different had she behaved otherwise, if she had been questioning and challenged people. If she had told James when she didn't trust nobles and what they were saying.

She looked back at James and he was still giving her that look, though curiosity now clouded his eyes. She was a stranger to him still. She knew him better than he knew her. She'd been watching him and listening to him while he'd been barely accommodating. "Together then. We'll fix things, together."


	4. Looking Toward the Sky

_"When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too."_  
_― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist_

The next day they were given a place to stay in the camp.

Lily and James had decided, together as he'd promised, that they would stay here for the time being and listen to the people's stories. They would gather as much information as they could before they made any decisions about what they could do. Though it had been an easy decision to come to, as they had nowhere else to go.

Molly had helped Lily work out how to use some piece of cloth that held a baby against it's mother's chest. She'd seen maids in the castle use them before, but there had never been a reason for her to use one herself. As she started walking after James and Harry into the woods however, she realized that she quite liked having Grace so close. And she still had use of her arms! Not that she had anything to do with her arms, but still, she had the option of using them.

It was very strange to do all of this mother stuff without the help of her maids, but she was still determined to do it, and without complaint. Even if she thought it was much harder than things had been with Harry.

That was only an observation however, not a complaint.

They reached the- well Lily didn't really know what to call it. A cabin of sorts maybe? It had been erected impossibly fast, logs laying one on top of the next to create four walls, and the roof had been made in the same way. Lily wondered if this little town had plenty of supplies set aside to build these structures whenever they needed them.

James pulled open the door and Harry raced in, looking around eagerly. Lily stepped in as well when she realized that James was holding the door for her.

It was small, that was for sure. But there were a few comforts. Molly had had Bill and Charlie carry down the bassinet for Grace, a bed roll with a small stuffed animal lay in the corner for Harry, and a much larger one on the opposite side. "Better than the floor." She said, trying not to think about what her sister would say if she saw the conditions that Lily had found herself living in.

"Hardly." James ran a hand through his hair. It was still sticking up at impossible angles, and Lily could no longer picture how it use to lay flat and controlled back at the castle. It seemed to want to be like this, if it were possible for hair to want to do something. She preferred it like this, all wild and non-regal. "We can't say that we're not living in the woods now, can we?" Most of the spaces between the logs had been stuffed full of moss so that you couldn't see out of the structure-that-Lily-couldn't-call-a-building.

"I like it," Harry said, a large grin on his face as he reached down and plucked up the stuffed bear.

"You'd best thank Molly for that." She said. "Or whichever one of the boys who gave it to you."

"I will," He promised, giving the bear a tight squeeze and then setting it back down where it had been. He'd never had to think about where his toys had come from before, never had to seek someone out and give them thanks. Things had appeared and that's just how things were. Now he had one bear to play with and he was still smiling widely. Lily reached down and patted his cheek. "Will we get to stay here for a while before we go home? I like my new friends." He said, his smile completely innocent and ignorant, as only a child's could be.

Lily didn't look over to James when she answered, because she knew what look he'd be wearing at the moment. "Yes we are." She nodded. "We'll be staying until Grace is a bit bigger."

"Do babies grow fast or slow?" He asked, wanting to know how much time he'd have with his friends.

"They grow pretty fast. I mean look at you! You're almost as tall as me, aren't you?"

"No I'm not," He laughed, running over to her legs and clutching at her skirts. "I'm still small."

"I suppose," She ruffled his hair. "Why don't you run off and play with your friends. They're close by, aren't they?"

"Just across the pathway." James said. "Have fun, Harry." He dismissed him and the boy ran out the door as quickly as he'd run in. "I'll see what I can do about getting us a real bed. Or at least something that's not on the floor." He sighed.

"Where is Remus staying?" She asked, not wanting to think about the fact that had eluded her up until now. Up until she'd heard the word 'us' come out of his mouth. There was only one other bed roll in here. Harry's small in the corner, and then one that was meant for James and herself to share on the opposite wall.

They'd be sharing a bed. And a rather confining living space. With their two children.

She looked over at him, wondering if he had already worked all this out before or if it was just now dawning on him as well.

"Remus will stay further into the woods. They build these… rooms?" He was sure what to call it either, but neither of them wanted to appear ungrateful even in private. "They build them for families. There are tents and hammocks down the path. There are so many more people here than I first thought." He seemed so tense about the whole thing. It was one thing after another and for a boy that had never had to go through much stress, well Lily could see how it was affecting him.

"When's the last time you ate?" She asked.

He let out a hallow laugh. "That's hardly your concern."

Lily narrowed her eyes slightly. "Of course it is."

He looked over at her and she could tell that he was debating whether or not he wanted to bring up the conversation that they'd been having before Lily had gone into labor. She wouldn't mind if he brought it up. There was still quite a bit more that she wanted to say to him about the matter.

"After Harry was born," He threw her off with that. What did that have to do with anything. "Did you send everyone out of the room when they came to get me?"

She swallowed. Her mouth felt a bit too dry, though she didn't know why she should feel embarrassed about that. "I had thought that things were going to be different after that." She was quiet, but honest with her answer. "I thought that…" She let out a sigh and shook her head. "It doesn't really matter what I thought. I was wrong. But yes, to answer your question, I did send everyone away."

"Why?"

"I just said!" She snapped. "I thought things would be different. I thought we were going to be a family." That's not how things had gone though. He stopped visiting her chambers for almost an entire year after Harry was born, and they talked only slightly more than usual, but only about Harry. "But I gave up eventually." She sighed. "Let you do whatever it was that you wanted to do and stopped trying."

"I didn't know that that's what you were doing." James said. "I didn't know that you were trying."

"How could you have?" Lily asked, a humorless laugh escaping. "You weren't paying me any attention."

oOo

_Lily had always been very stubborn. She was born that way her mother had said. Unwilling and unable to sit back and let things go someone else's way. She knew that if she could, she wouldn't mind bending everything to her will. Within reason of course._

_So when her plan to manufacture a moment alone with her husband and their infant son had done nothing to change her situation in the castle, that had only made her more determined._

_He always seemed interested when she gave him any news about Harry. When he started cooing, or when he smiled for the first time, but he never let the conversation get away from their son. Lily had wondered a couple of times what he would do if she just started talking. She used to be rather good at talking for however long she wanted, but now, whenever she was around him especially, it was hard to call up words that she hadn't predetermined before coming into the room._

_So short of writing and then presenting a speech, she wasn't sure how to fix that. But she still wanted to try. Maybe another manufactured moment would do the trick._

_She walked into the dinning hall and took her usual seat next to him. Unless they had company, she sat next to him. He had a mountain of paperwork on the table surrounding him, and she didn't think anything of it because he was always looking over a hundred different things at once it seemed._

_The first course of the meal came, and James didn't put his papers away, only shuffled them about to make room for the food. Lily cleared her throat and James didn't bother to look up. She tapped her fingers on the table, just the pads of her fingers, trying to think not make noise._

_"I was planning on taking Harry into the Garden tomorrow." She said and then frowned at herself. Her goal was to have a conversation with him. A conversation that wasn't about their son._

_"Mmhm," He acknowledged her, but that was about it._

_"Nan says the sun will be good for him." She didn't know why she tried to explain, it was clear that he wasn't interested._

_"Well then I hope it's sunny tomorrow." He said, and Lily's frown deepened._

_"Is something wrong?" She asked, looking at the papers and trying to work out what they were._

_James looked over at her and by the look on his face, you would have thought he'd only just realized that she was sitting next to him. She slid her hands on the table and clenched them in her skirts. "No. Nothing is wrong."_

_"Well that's an awful lot of paperwork at the dinner table for nothing to be wrong." She shrugged._

_"Supply lists mostly." He shrugged and then turned back to one of them. She waited a moment, to see if he would add anything else, but he didn't._

_"Supplies for the castle?" She didn't really care about the supplies or what they were for, she was just desperate to connect with him so he would no longer be a stranger. So he would stop ignoring her._

_"The war fronts." He corrected, his voice quiet. Honestly, they'd been married a year now, you'd have thought things would have progressed further than this. Especially since she felt as though she'd been trying to push things along._

_Actually, they'd been married almost exactly a year._

_She perked up and placed her hands back on the table, "James?" He looked over at her when she said his name. He was probably not used to hearing his name without a title surrounding it since she was the only one permitted to call him by only his given name._

_And it wasn't as though there were many opportunities for her to use it either._

_"Lily," He responded after a moments hesitation._

_"I was wondering if we'll be doing anything special next week." She could have just come out and asked if they would do anything for their anniversary, but she was curious to know if he even knew that it was coming up. She couldn't blame him if he didn't, since she'd only just remembered herself._

_"Next week?"_

_"Or the week after I suppose." She shrugged, picking up her spoon and stirring it in the bowl. She glanced over at him and could see the wheels spinning in his mind. He didn't want to ask her why they would be doing something special._

_She could also see the exact moment that it clicked for him. "Ah," He nodded. "The week after next. It'll be a year since we've gotten married." She nodded, though he'd turned to ruffle through his papers again. "Feels as though it's been longer."_

_She didn't know what to make of that. She agreed, this last year had been the longest of her life, but she didn't know why he would share that opinion. But then she remembered that it'd also been about a year since his parents died._

_"It has been a long year." She agreed. "A lot has happened."_

_"We can do something if you want," He said, somehow dismissing her and leaving the decision up to her all at once. She wanted to keep trying, this awkward exchange had almost been a real conversation, if she stuck it out for just a few more minutes…_

_But she couldn't seem to think of anything else to say. She'd tried to talk about Harry, and the kingdom and then their anniversary all to no avail. "Alright." She said and then quietly excused herself from the table._

oOo

He wanted to tell her that he knew that he'd been wrong. He wanted to tell her that he was sorry for how he'd shut her out of his life, for how he'd been dismissive and short and surly. But it was four years that he would have to apologize for and he knew that words would only get him so far.

All he could do now, was try to be better. To do better.

It was going to be difficult with everything else going on, but he was going to have to make an effort. After everything that she'd done and given to him and their kingdom, he owed it to her to make an effort. For better or worse, they were bound to one another until death. He'd been content up until now to have it be neither better or worse, thinking that he could skate through life without much care one way or the other.

She stood across from him, her accusation still hanging in the air. He took a deep breath. "I was blind then." Her narrowed brow let him know that she hadn't expected that, that she'd been expecting him to fight back like he had in the woods. "It's my turn to try now." He said.

Her mouth dropped open, but no sound came out. She tried again twice more, but still nothing came out. He took a small step toward her. "If you'll allow me to try that is. I know I'm a bit late here."

"Well I- I just- You-" She managed some words this time, but now sentences seemed to be eluding her. It was the complete opposite of what she'd been managing the last couple of days. And even before she'd started speaking freely in front of him, he couldn't recall hearing her stutter.

"You don't need to answer now." He said, his hand finding it's way to his hair. It seemed to live there lately, some invisible force always pulling it back in. He was sure that his hair would never be neat again. He could tell that she was relieved when he said that. Her shoulders relaxed and her lips pressed together.

"Well alright then," She said and then turned toward Grace's bassinet. She walked over and started folding and refolding blankets. He wondered if she had often felt like he did now. He wanted to come up with something to say, but he hadn't a clue what it should be. And then, with her back to him, it wasn't as though she were inviting conversation.

Though he didn't begrudge her making things difficult for him. It wasn't as though he'd given her any openings these last few years. He was going to have to work for her trust before anything else. Which seemed like an insurmountable task given then current position.

As her husband, it was his primary job to protect her and their children, and they were currently living in a hut surrounded by known criminals and people who would turn against them rather quickly if they found out their true identities.

He wasn't currently doing a great job of protecting anyone, but he could figure out how to change that. He would have to.

oOo

He left the hut and made his way around the village. He learned the names of a few of the people who lived there- There was a quite peculiar man by the name of Alastor Moody whom everyone simply called 'Mad-Eye.' A man who seemed to be half giant who went by the name of Hagrid and was always being shadowed by a dog that also seemed to dwarf everyone it passed. There were more redheads as well; a pair of older twins named Fabian and Gideon, and another man named Arden who looked like Arthur only younger.

But Sirius had been right, there were a lot of people here, and they all seemed to have a similar story to tell about how they wound up here. They were taxed relentlessly by some sheriff who had lied to James' face about the state of their lands, and then forced out of their home for fear of imprisonment.

Most of them had heard of a man by the name of Riddle and more still weren't fond of the royal family. And the more that James listened, the less that he could blame them.

He was feeling rather despondent when he finally made his way back to his hut a few hours later. Even though his mind had been traveling in a million different directions, he managed to remember to grab a few bowls of stew that someone had been handing out near the middle of the set up. After seeing it all, James decided that it was more like a camp than a village. It hadn't been built to be permanent, only to house those who were desperate and in need.

He pushed open the door with his shoulder, as there was no latch to undo and then stepped inside. Lily had procured a lantern from someone, and it now saw on a stump in the middle of the hut, lighting up the small space adequately. Harry was already sitting on his cot, but when he saw that James had food, he jumped to his feet.

"You brought dinner!" He said, hurrying over to him and pulling at his arms excitedly.

"I did, but if you keep that up I'll spill it on your head, lad." James laughed, looking over to find Grace, wanting to know if he should keep his voice down or not. But her big eyes were wide open and looking over at him from Lily's arms. James smiled at the sight.

"Someone is wide awake." He grinned, lowering to Harry's height so he could hand him a bowl. "Why don't you sit down while you eat that, I don't want you to spill." He set both of the other bowls down on the stump next to the lantern and then walked over to Lily. "I'll hold her while you eat." He said, holding his arms so that she could pass Grace over.

"You can eat first," She said, looking down at the blanket that Grace was wrapped in.

"Come on, if you argue with me on this, then we'll both have to eat cold stew." He tried smiling at her, but she wasn't looking.

"Fine." She said after a moment of silence. She handed him the baby and then walked over and picked up a bowl. Then she took a seat on the ground next to Harry.

"What kind of soup is this?" Harry asked, picking through it with his finger. They hadn't been passing out dinnerware. "It doesn't taste all that great."

James went to say something, he wasn't sure what he would have said, perhaps something along the lines of how Harry should be grateful that the people here were willing to share what they had with him, but then Lily got there first.

"This is magic soup." She said quite matter'o'factly.

Harry narrowed his brow and looked up at his mum. "There's no such thing as magic." He argued.

Lily's brow raised as she turned to look at Harry, shock coating her expression. "Excuse me?"

"Well, there's not!" He said, looking at the stew again. "I've never seen anything magical happen."

"Well fine then, I'll eat your soup." She shrugged and reached for his bowl. He pulled it back out of her reach and James grinned. "You just said you didn't like it."

"What makes it magic?" He asked, still sounding skeptical.

Lily sighed and looked into the stew. "What doesn't make it magic? The carrots give you good dreams at night, the mushrooms make sure you grow, the meat protects you from bug bites. Each part does something different."

"And that's magic?"

"Small magic, but that's the most useful kind." He took a sip.

"What about the onions? What do they do?"

And so she went on to explain to him what all the different parts of the stew did and before long, Harry had finished it off. James didn't know how she'd come up with all of that fib so quickly, or how she got her voice to sound like she actually believed in what she was saying, but James couldn't look away. How had he missed that before? How hadn't he noticed how great she was with Harry? He'd known that she was a good mother of course, but after seeing her down by the creek with him, and then trying to comfort him while she was in pain, and now this... it tugged at something in his heart.

And then she was done eating and she walked back over to take Grace again so that he could go and eat, but he walked over to Harry's cot first. "Can you feel it all working?"

"Oh yes," Harry nodded. "I'll be stronger and taller in the morning."

"I'm sure you will," James picked up his blanket (another loan from Molly) and draped it over his little body. "And I don't need to wish you good dreams tonight since the carrots are taking care of that for us." He ran his hand through Harry's hair and then grinned. "Goodnight, my son."

"Goodnight, daddy."

He brushed a thumb over his cheek a couple of times and then walked over to pick up his bowl. It was tepid now, but it still tasted just fine. Even if it had been cold, he still would have thought that he had made the right choice by letting Lily eat first.

When he was done, he stacked up all the bowls and set them on the stump. He was sure that someone would tell him what to do with them tomorrow. Hopefully Sirius, so he didn't seem completely useless to the rest of the camp. Then he went about getting ready for bed. He pulled off his shoes, and his jacket, and more layers still until he was dressed only in his underclothes.

It was between folding his clothes and walking over to the bed roll that he realized that Lily was standing quite rigidly by the bassinet. Grace was sleeping, already tucked in as well, but Lily was still standing there.

"Everything alright?" He asked, walking up behind her and peeking over her shoulder at their slumbering daughter.

Lily jumped slightly and then cleared her throat quietly. "Yes, everything is fine." He tried to meet her eyes, but she was quite determined not to look at him. He found that a bit strange, as he didn't think that he'd done anything that would upset her, but he supposed that that could be the problem. Him being nice to her in the woods was what had caused her to snap the other day.

"I think it'd be a step in the right direction if we agreed to be honest with one another." He said, turning away from her and trying his best to sound casual.

He could feel her thinking over his words and then she let out a sigh. "We've never shared a bed before."

That made him pause.

"I hadn't really thought about that." He said, not sure if that was an accidental admission or if he was trying to stick with his honesty is best bit he just gave. He turned around to look at her again and saw her drop her shoulders. "Do you- Do you want me to find somewhere-"

"No." She shook her head and closed her eyes, not wanting him to finish his suggestion. "No I don't want to make a big deal about it I just- Of course they would give us one bed as opposed to two. It just wasn't what I was expecting. I keep forgetting that these people don't know who we are and that normal married couples do share a bed every night." She shrugged. "And on top of all that, I'm realizing how very little I know how to do for myself." She sighed again, and James perked up at that, because that was something that she understood. And even though she was blatantly trying to change the subject, he jumped on it.

"Right!" He looked back and forth at his children after the outburst to make sure that he hadn't woken them. "I don't even know what I'm supposed to do with those bowls now." He said, motioning vaguely. "And in the grand scheme of things that seems like a pretty small problem, right? Something that shouldn't even constitute as being a problem."

"What about her soiled nappies?" Lily asked, a slightly mortified expression on her face as she gestured to Grace. "I don't know how to- how to even go about cleaning them." James made a face too. They were lucky that Harry wasn't in nappies anymore. Nan had been rather strict with toilet training him.

"What if they don't cook breakfast tomorrow? What if they expect us to help cook? How do we do that?"

"And the firewood!" Lily tugged at her skirts. "I've honestly never really given much thought about where firewood comes from, but what if we have to help with that too? I mean all of this stuff-" She shook her head.

"It should be simple. We can't ask for help." James supplied.

"Exactly." She nodded and let her arms fall to her sides. "I had to ask Mary how to feed Grace. I was mortified, and I don't want to feel like that again because I've never emptied a chamber pot before. Or because I've never done anyone's laundry."

James ran a hand through his hair. "I mean, we should be mollified by the fact that we know how to do things that they probably don't."

"I don't think any of them are considered life skills though. My being able to dance and paint won't do anything for anyone out here. I could probably patch up clothes since I know how to work with a needle and thread, but that's about as useful as I can be without being given very specific instructions."

James nodded. "We'll have to work it out tomorrow."

"Another few things to add to our list," She chuckled bitterly.

"Exactly." James dropped down to the bed roll and clamed the side closest to the door. "I don't even know where to begin."

"Did you learn anything when you were out?"

"I got more locations of where these people are coming from, I can tell that most of them aren't fond of us, and I know that they're getting restless."

"Well perhaps-" Her voice sounded slightly strained. "Perhaps we could use that." He looked over and found her struggling to undo the back of her dress.

"Do you need help with that?" He asked, already rising to his feet again.

"No." She said, shaking her head. "I doubt anyone else needs help getting their dress off." And he believed that she wanted to do this on her own more than she wanted to reject his offer of help so he nodded and sat back down. It took her a couple of minutes, but eventually she had her dress off.

"Perhaps we should see if anyone has an extra dress for you to borrow." He said as she sat down on the edge of the bed.

"No one is wearing anything like that," Her voice was quiet as she surveyed the dress. "I forgot the light." She pushed herself up and grabbed the lantern and brought it back over to the edge of the bed with her. She knelt down and set it on the ground, leaning forward so she could blow out the flame.

The one thing that James hadn't failed to notice over the last four years was how lovely Lily Evans was. Everything about her was striking. Her eyes were a vibrant green, her hair a dark, smoldering red, her face was round, but her chin was pointed. And then there was her mouth.

He was sure that she'd caught him a good number of times over the years trying not to stare at her mouth.

He watched her lean over the flame, her face glowing for a few moments, illuminating everything and drawing shadows. He would have had a hard time looking away now if the light had been diminished by a flick of her breath.

She got onto the bed again and then leaned forward to pull up the blankets. But now that they were both in bed and the lights were out, he could feel why she'd been nervous about them sharing a bed. They never had before and that had been because he hadn't allowed them to. He would always go back to his room, he would always keep that space between them, never really letting them share anything. There was her space and his space and the only space they shared was wherever Harry was.

"At least we're safe here." She said, and he could hear her shuffling slightly as she settled into the bed, trying to get comfortable.

"I'll see you in the morning, Lily." He had hesitated only briefly before saying her name. He hadn't been sure what to call her.

oOo

Lily wasn't sure that she was going to be able to fall asleep. She knew that she was tired, her limbs were heavy, and her eyes were stinging at the corner, but this wasn't like when they had slept next to each other in the woods. They were on a mat, sharing a blanket and there wasn't the much space between them. She'd debated keeping her dress on, but that would have been extremely uncomfortable, and she didn't think James would have stayed quiet on the matter. And it wouldn't help to have an extra layer of clothes between them, would it? She'd worn less around him.

It was that this was a different kind of intimacy. They'd had sex, obviously they had, even if it was never wholly enjoyable and always at least slightly awkward. They had two beautiful, wonderful children because of it.

But this? Sharing living quarters and a bed and him bringing her dinner, this was new and uncomfortable because this was like being a normal family. This was as if they were a team of some kind.

And they had always been a team to some extent. He was the king and she was the queen, but they hadn't been a good team. All you had to do to determine that was look at the state of their kingdom, or even the small village that they'd found themselves in. James had said that they had very few friends here.

But then there was Harry. He was brilliant and fun-loving and charming, and they had done that together. They were raising him together and if he was absolutely wonderful, then they were capable of creating something good together. They could work together. She didn't know if it could really be as simple as that, but it wasn't impossible.

Lily chewed on her lip and thought over the decision that she'd come to once more, because she wanted to be sure. Once she said it out loud, she couldn't take it back. She wasn't sure if James was sleeping or not, but she cleared her throat and then clenched her fingers around the blanket. "James?" She whispered.

His must have been restless as well, because he answered almost immediately. "Yes?"

"We could make a good team." She said, feeling her heart start to race for some inexplicable reason. She felt like she was back in the dinning hall trying to force him into a conversation. "If we wanted to be a good team, we could be." She said again after a moment of silence.

"I agree." He said, his voice just as quiet as hers. Now it was her turn to stay quiet for a moment and he decided to fill the empty space. "The fact that we haven't been good together is-"

"I want you to try." She interrupted.

She could hear the shuffle of the blanket, feel it tug as he rolled over to face her. But it was rather dark without the lantern and she could only make out his silhouette.

"You do?" The uncertainty in his voice was clear.

"Yes." There was uncertainty in her voice as well.

"Fantastic." She could hear the grin and she felt her cheeks get warm.

"Of course, that doesn't mean-" But James interrupted her.

"It doesn't mean anything other than that. You haven't forgiven or forgotten everything, you're still going to get angry and shout at me. I know." That was what she had been about to say, and she didn't know how she felt about the words coming from his mouth instead. Especially when he sounded as though it didn't at all detract from what she'd first said.

"That's right." She gave a short nod.

oOo

_The first time that Lily Evans had laid eyes on the prince, she'd thought that he was incredibly handsome, as most girls her age did, and spent the afternoon giggling behind her hands along with her older sister._

_Lily was from a noble family, but they had only a little money to spend on things that they didn't need, and her father held no real sway with anyone who worked in the castle and instead maintained his livelihood by selling fruits that grew on the large estate that they'd inherited from his ancestors who had been in the kings' pockets and had overflowing purses._

_Her mother had been a merchant's daughter, and her parents had married for love instead of status, because while her mother had gained the title of 'lady,' living at the Evans' estate was nothing like living at another noble's estate. They had a handful of maids and servants, but most of their hired help worked the fields. It suited the family just fine, as they didn't require too much excess._

_Lily grew up with her toes in the fertile soil that maintained their home, the bottom of her skirts covered in mud and big dreams in her lovely green eyes._

_After seeing the prince, she never fantasized about marrying him. That seemed like a dream a bit too far fetched for even her wide-eyed gaze. But she had wondered if, given the right circumstanced, she'd be able to capture his attention if only for a brief moment or two. Perhaps they would cross paths in the courtyard, accidentally bump shoulders and he would turn to apologize because she could tell that he was very charming and polite. She would hold her arm even though she wouldn't be hurt in the slightest, and then smile at him and stand up straight when she realized who he was. He'd be dazzled by her smile, everyone told her that she had a brilliant smile. They would talk briefly, perhaps he would flirt with her. Then she'd bid him fair well, some story about how she had to hurry home. And when she turned to look over her shoulder at him after crossing the yard, he'd still be watching her._

_Petunia had let her know exactly how deluded and crazy she was._

_Of course, she had also been fourteen when she told her sister of her plans. And while she wasn't a terribly awkward looking teenager, she wasn't exactly the epitome of grace and beauty either._

_"The prince didn't even see you, Lily." Petunia said, patting at the underside of her curls. She had been preening since Lily had started talking, and while Lily's fanciful thinking was mainly just that, Lily narrowed her brow at her older sister._

_"Oh and you think he noticed you?" She asked, sticking her hands on her hips._

_"At least I was wearing shoes when he saw me." Her cheeks turned a light pink color and Lily just laughed._

_"Who cares if I wasn't wearing any shoes! At least I'm not two years older than him. You're practically an old maid, Tooney."_

_"Don't call me Tooney- And I am most certainly not an old maid. That is a very rude thing for you to say to me." She pressed her lips together and Lily only shrugged._

_"I'm just saying. Name one nobleman who's wife is older than him. You were born a few years too early to be the future queen. But not me. I was born at exactly the right time. I'm a year younger than him-_

_"Your age is the only thing that you've got working for you." Petunia huffed. "You're loud and wild and don't know when to stop talking or how to keep shoes on your feet. No prince is ever going to want to marry you."_

_Even though Lily hadn't really been invested in her plans to woo the prince, as she wasn't really invested in any of the wild plans that she came up with on the spot, she still didn't like that her sister would say that. "If you don't like it when I'm rude to you, why do you insist on saying such things to me? Mum says that you're supposed to lead by example."_

_"You're fourteen, not four, Lily. You know how you're supposed to behave." She rolled her eyes._

_"Well still. I'm awfully pretty, witty and a great conversationalist. A prince would be stupid not to marry me." Her sister had started laughing before she'd finished talking._

_"A great conversationalist? I wouldn't go around telling people that. You don't know how to converse with someone. You only know how to shout your opinion at them and ignore them when you don't agree with them."_

_"I only do that to you." Lily shrugged. "But you didn't counter my being pretty. Does that mean you think I'm pretty?" Another eye roll and Lily only smiled._

_"You do not only do it to me." She said, ignoring the other half of Lily's question. "There's the neighbor boy, mother, and everyone that father brings round the house. I don't know how he stands to let you in the same room as some of them. They're rich men, they're not keen on having a girl shout at them."_

_"I've never shouted at any of father's friends."_

_"Don't try to use a qualifier on me. I was there when you shouted at that man who told you that girls shouldn't spend their time reading."_

_"Well he was being stupid, and father didn't seem to mind that I'd called him out on it. And he also wasn't one of father's friends-"_

_"I didn't say that you shout at his friends." She huffed. "This argument is ridiculous. Another reason that you'll be lucky to have anyone marry you. You're so stubborn that it's impossible to have a civil disagreement with you."_

_"You just find it difficult to concede is all." Lily shrugged, and Petunia made a strangled noise in the back of her throat. Lily smirked._

_"You're not going to marry a prince, Lily."_

_"Well now I am." Lily crossed her arms over her chest. "You can't tell me what I can or cannot do. I'll marry a prince now just to spite you."_

_Petunia rolled her eyes now. "Sure Lily. And you'll live happily ever after too."_

oOo

It had been cold during the night.

That's what James told himself when he woke up and found his wife curled up against his chest. It had been cold, and they only had the one small blanket to share between the two of them. He knew that it was nothing more than that. That she had to have rolled toward him in her sleep because he was warm.

And he didn't have some rush of warm feelings toward her when he saw her cheek pressed against his shoulder, or felt her small hand resting on his abdomen. He'd already been feeling fairly warm toward her for the last few days, and it was definitely nice to have her in his arms, even if he'd been unconscious for most of it.

He was however, struck with the thought that this could have been happening for the past four years. He could have woken up every morning of the last four years of his life to Lily in his arms. If he'd allowed for that to happen, if he hadn't been such a goddamn prick, then he would have been waking up like this for years now. This wouldn't have been the first time that this had happened.

So it was regret that was winning out in the battle of emotions.

And then she started to stir and he tried to push the regret aside so that he could figure out how he was going to handle this. It would be easier to come up with a plan if he had known how she was going to act. Should he pretend to be asleep? Should he say something? Should he wait for her to say something?

He immediately decided against the last option, as she'd done enough talking first for a while. It was his turn to put himself out there, to take a chance and to try.

She'd said that she wanted him to try.

So he saw her fingers splay out over his chest and she tensed slightly, realizing exactly where she was and what was going on. "Good morning." He said quietly, "It must have gotten colder than we were expecting last night." It was easy to sound nonchalant when he was whispering. "You think Harry was alright over there?" He wondered if she'd done that often. Brought up Harry simply for the sake of having something to say.

She cleared her throat and started speaking without pulling away. "I'm sure he was fine. If he was cold he would have told us." James nodded and then felt her start to pull away. He didn't say anything to stop her, because he didn't think that she would have listened anyway, and then she was sitting up beside him and he was still grappling for something to say.

"Did you sleep well?" He asked.

She shrugged one of her shoulders. "I suppose. I kept getting up to check on Grace. She's not as loud as Harry was when she fusses."

"No?" He leaned up and looked toward the bassinet.

"I kept thinking that every noise that I heard was her and I'd have to check." James hadn't heard anything all night and felt bad now that he knew Lily had been up multiple times. "You slept good though, yes? It was about time you got some rest." And that just made him feel worse about it.

Neither of them was prepared for this type of life. They'd grown up in luxury. Extreme luxury in his case, and when Lily had gotten pregnant the second time, they had been planning on things being quite similar to how they had gone over the first time. There was no part of either one of them, of this he was sure, that thought that they'd be on their own with two kids.

"We're good parents, yes?" He asked, disregarding what she'd said about him getting rest.

She looked a bit startled by his question, but then nodded. She pulled her knees up against her chest and wrapped her arms around them. "I think we're good parents."

He shook his head. "I know we were good back at the castle, but- everything is different out here. People out here… they do everything for their children or they have their children do it themselves, you know? We've never had to do all the hard stuff with Harry. He's never had to do any of the hard stuff either. What happens when he stops feeling like we're on some fun adventure and starts crying about something? What do we do then?"

Lily raised her brows sometime in the middle of his speech and then just shrugged again. "I suppose we'll work it out when it comes. I guess I haven't thought about the fact that he's not going to keep acting like this. But he's three, of course he's not going to keep acting like this. He's been so good." She looked over at Harry, where he was still asleep on his cot. He had slept hard and long the night before as well. His little body was tired.

"None of us know how to do things for ourselves." James sighed, running a hand through his hair. Somehow this conversation had gotten away from him. He'd wanted to talk to his wife normally, but then it had digressed into something about their shortcomings.

"I think we'll just have to buck up." Lily shrugged. "I mean, I tried my best not to let Mary know that I couldn't feed Grace without direction that first time, but she knew and she definitely judged me for it. I'm not keen on something like that happening again, so my plan is to be better at faking it. Remus should be able to help, right? At least with some things."

"I hope so." He chuckled quietly. "It just makes me feel completely incompetent to ask him how to survive as a normal person." She looked over at him and smiled, brushing a lock of her hair away from her face.

"I think it's fair to say that this isn't a normal situation. I mean, these people are living in the woods, right? Most people don't do that. And I mean, they do think that we're nobles, right? Given our clothes. So perhaps they already expect us to-"

"But I don't want them to be right about it."

"Well I don't either, but we've never even had to get dressed by ourselves so…" She pushed the blanket back and stood up. It wasn't until she took a few steps toward the bassinette that he realized she had heard something that he hadn't.

"She really is quiet, isn't she?"

"Yes, and after I get dressed, you have to help me figure out how Molly tied that contraption on me yesterday."

"The cloth?" It hadn't seemed difficult.

"Yes. Molly said there was a special way to do it since Grace is so young. But I couldn't follow all the steps and I don't think I can ask her again. She's already done so much for me that I can't bother her with it."

"Alright, we'll work it out." He looked around to see where she'd stashed the piece of cloth. It was just a long rectangle. It really couldn't be that hard to figure out.

"Thank you." She said, smiling down at Grace now. She picked her up and then turned to James. "So what is the plan for today?"

Right. They needed to come up with a plan.

"Well," He started, rubbing his hand along the base of his neck. "I suppose we should try and talk to a few people. See who Sirius thinks would talk to me-"

"You're going to tell people who we are?" She didn't sound against the idea, only surprised.

"Maybe not right away, but if we have any hope of taking back the kingdom, we're going to need to get people to rally around us. And to do that, we're going to need to give them a reason to do so. I don't know what our reason will be yet, but we'll think of something."

"So we'll talk to people about the idea of rebelling?" She asked. James nodded and stood up himself, walking over to Lily and looking down at their daughter. He reached up and gently brushed his thumb along her cheek.

"That's the next step, right? To find people willing to fight for our people?"

"For us." Lily added. "They'll have to be willing to fight for us too."


	5. Green-Ey'd Monster

_"O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;_  
_It is the green-ey'd monster, which doth mock_  
_The meat it feeds on."_  
_― William Shakespeare, Othello_

Lily and James were not able to figure out how to get Grace tied against Lily's chest. Much to her chagrin, she did have to find Molly again and ask her for help. Again. Though after arguing with James about a stupid piece of cloth for over an hour, hunting down Molly and asking her for help seemed like the lesser of two evils.

She'd asked him to try to win her over, and now they were both snapping at each other about how to tie knots. She couldn't help but think that he wasn't all that good at remembering that he was supposed to be trying.

She smiled at the image of him tugging at his hair in frustration when she kept telling him that he didn't know what he was doing.

Whether or not he was good at trying, this was definitely an improvement over how things had been.

All the while, she could tell that he was trying not to shout at her, and she was doing her best not to shout either, though she was trying not to shout because Grace was pressed against her chest and she figured he was trying not to shout because he hadn't wanted to upset her further.

Harry had woken up at some point in the middle of all of that and begged the both of them to let him go and find Ron. James had waved him out the door when he heard Remus on the other side of the door, telling Harry to stay with Remus until they found the Weasleys.

It was almost midday now, and Lily was seated around a campfire. She was alternating between watching her son run around with Ron, Fred and George, and watching a man cook what smelled like turnips. He had a stick poked into the middle of a few and was cooking them over the fire. It didn't look all that hard, and after watching him do it a few times, she figured she could help.

She walked over and picked up one of the sticks that someone had just set down, and then she picked up a few turnips, spearing them on the end. She only did two instead of four like the man was doing, after all, even though it looked simple, she didn't want to be overzealous.

"I appreciate the help, miss." The man said, and Lily took that as an invitation to sit on the other side of his log.

"We've all got to help each other, right?" She grinned at him.

"That's right," He nodded, his smile came easy, but his gaze slid up and down her frame. He was obviously taking in the only dress that she'd left the castle with. It had definitely seen better days, a few of the seams had busted, the skirts were filthy, and it had been made to accommodate her pregnant stomach; but she hadn't heard anyone talk of having extra clothing and she wasn't yet comfortable enough to ask anyone.

"So what are we toasting these for?"

He chuckled. "We're cooking them, not toasting them." He corrected. "It takes a while. Mary will come along and collect them in a while. She's making something or other with them." He shrugged. "I just do as I'm told where Mary is concerned.

Lily remembered the hard look that Mary had given her the last time that she'd seen the girl and nodded. "She does seem… actually I don't know. She seemed very helpful most of the time I've seen her."

"Oh she's helpful alright. There's not a type of food that she doesn't know how to cook, there's not a plant that she doesn't know the name of- and ten or so different uses for it to boot! She's also been helping Molly with the healing. She's just bossy is all. Probably anther skill she's picked up from Molly." He scoffed. Lily smiled at him again.

"And what's your name?" She asked, lowering her stick over the fire a little more, trying to mimic him precisely.

"Names Benjy." He said, reaching over his turnip stick to shake Lily's hand. She let go of her own stick with one hand and accepted.

"Well it's nice to meet you Benjy. I'm Lela."

"Beautiful name for a beautiful lady." He winked and then let her hand go, turning back to the fire. Lily pressed her lips together and looked at the fire as well. She didn't know how to respond to that. It wasn't as though anyone had spoken that freely with her in quite a while. Except maybe a drunken nobleman on occasion.

"Well, thank you." She settled on.

"And what about the wee one?" He nodded toward the baby asleep on Lily's chest.

"This is Grace." She smiled, her free hand now resting on Grace's back.

"She chose a right good time to make an appearance." He chuckled. "What were you? Fifty yards from the house?"

"Oh I couldn't tell you." She shrugged. "We weren't too far, but it felt like it took a long time to find it. We didn't know it was there for one thing, we were just desperately trying to find someone while we still had time." He nodded and pulled his stick away from the fire, stabbing the turnip in the middle with a paring knife he pulled out of his jacket.

"Got to make sure that they're soft in the middle." He supplied without her having to ask him to explain what he was doing.

She nodded and then remembered the half-plan that she and James had agreed upon this morning. They had to get to know the people here, hear their stories and work out if they'd be willing to fight for their kingdom. "So everyone seems to know what happened to me. How did you end up here? I figured it's a slightly different story?" She smiled again, trying for humor since she knew that whatever his story, it wasn't going to be a happy one.

He chuckled, seeming to appreciate it. "No, I didn't go into labor or anything like that." He shook his head as he traded out his now cooked turnips for new ones. "It's the same as everyone else's' story I suppose." He shrugged, staring intently into the fire now. "I had to leave my home to stay safe. I had no where to go and then I got lucky because someone brought me here."

"Are you from Nottingham?" She asked. He nodded.

"Lived there my whole life, and it used to be nice. But then… Well Lord Avery is a fucking twit." He looked over at her with a small grin. "Pardon my language, miss."

Lily tried to do what she could to prevent herself from physically balking at the use of such a vulgar word. Being born into a family of nobility and then having been queen, she had never had someone use that word in her presence. "Oh there- there's no need to apologize. Everyone seems angry."

"Of course we're angry. Aren't you? We had our homes taken from us." He snapped.

"Of course I'm angry." She nodded. "I just don't know what to do about it." She said, more to the point of getting him to tell her what he wanted to do about it.

He sighed and shook his head, going back to looking at the turnips. "I'd like to have a go at that Riddle fellow. Give Avery a piece of my mind. The goddamned king too. I mean where's he been in all of this." Lily's stomach twisted at that.

"My guess would be that he trusted the wrong people." Lily said, her voice getting quieter. Benjy looked over at her and deflated.

"I suppose we're all guilty of that. But still. It was his job to take care of us all, wasn't it? And now, if what you saw is to be believed, Riddle sits on the throne and the royals are who knows where?"

Who knows where. That was exactly where they were.

"Your turnips are on fire."

"What?" Lily asked, looking up at him. He chuckled and nodded toward the fire.

"Your turnips, they're on fire." He said, scooting down the log and taking her stick from her. She let out a huff of air and ran a hand through her hair. Her first attempt at being helpful and she'd caught something on fire.

"I'm so sorry." She said, watching him put out the fire and inspect the charred bits.

"Oh don't worry about it. I'll just cut off the burned bits." He chuckled and then pulled out his knife to do just that.

Someone coughed behind them and Lily turned to find James wearing a look that she couldn't decipher. It wasn't one that she'd seen on him before. "There you are, love." He said, his tone not matching the hard look. Benjy looked back at him too and immediately moved back down to where he'd been sitting originally.

"I was trying to help cook." Lily said, and then motioned helplessly to the burned turnips. "It didn't go so well." None of it had. She'd burned food and she'd learned of this mans anger and resignation about James, which most likely would extend to herself. She didn't know which was worse.

"Oh everyone has caught a turnip on fire before, don't worry about it." Benjy said, his voice soft and good natured again. Lily smiled at him and James walked over and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Have you been having a good day?" She asked, wondering if he needed to talk to her. He seemed stiff, which made her think he'd been talking to others as she had been talking to Benjy. He must have heard other's telling him that they'd lost faith in him as well.

"Sirius was showing me around some more." He nodded and then took a seat on the log next to Lily, his hand moving from her shoulder to her knee. Then moving again to take her hand. He didn't say anything more and Lily couldn't shake the feeling that he wanted to say something. She looked over at him and tried to catch his gaze, but he was looking off toward the edge of the wood. She squeezed his hand, but he still wasn't looking at her.

"Have you seen Harry lately? He's been having so much fun playing with Molly's boys." Lily asked, falling back into her old habit of bringing up their son when she didn't know what else to say to him.

"I saw him less than an hour ago. He's alright."

"The kids all seem to like it out here," Benjy grinned. "Harry- is he the short one with all the black hair?" He asked. Lily smiled and nodded.

"He's always had that much hair. It overpowered him when he was a baby, but he's growing into it." She chuckled.

"They all adjust faster than we do." Benjy said. "The kids I mean. After everything they've been through… and they just want to play."

"Do you have children?" Lily asked, narrowing her brow.

"A little girl. Scarlet." He bobbed his head. "She's only a few years older than your boy."

"Well I'm glad that she's doing well." Lily said, reaching over and placing a hand on Benjy's arm. "And I'm glad that you found peace here as well." He smiled at her again.

"Thank you, Lela. I'm glad you happened upon this place too. Now, I'm going to go and give Mary these before she tracks me down and puts me in a stew instead." He pushed himself off the log and hauled the basket of food into his arms before he started off toward wherever Mary might be.

Lily's smile faded as he turned out of sight and then she turned to James and let go of his hand. "Is something wrong?" She asked.

James had his mouth pressed into a thin line when he finally turned toward her. "He was acting awfully... familiar."

I don't appreciate you presuming familiarity…

She raised her brows. The look she'd never seen before, the stiffness of his shoulders… Was he jealous? She proceeded to ask him just that.

"Of course I'm not," He scoffed. "I'm just not used to seeing anyone talk to you so informally-"

"Or at all," She snapped. "You'll remember that no one talked to me up until a few days ago. Aside from our son and his nanny. Occasionally Remus. And that was it. You can't begrudge me for talking to people."

"I don't begrudge-"

"Isn't that what we're meant to be doing anyway?" She kept her voice quiet, as she didn't want anyone walking past to hear her. "We're supposed to be talking to the people in this camp and getting to know their stories and see if they'd be willing to fight against Riddle? Yes?"

"Yes." His voice was clipped, and he was still looking into the fire.

"So what is the problem? Because that's what I was doing. I was talking to him and trying to be useful. And then you came lumbering over here and scared him off. How is that helpful?"

He clenched his jaw and then breathed in through his nose. "It probably wasn't." She was pushing, she could tell by his reaction that she was pushing. Because it wasn't as though anyone talked to James like she was just now.

"Well then next time you can be friendly or you can keep walking. These people have enough reason to dislike us without you acting like a brute." She'd never been good at tempering herself, even when she wanted to. She could keep words from coming out if she pressed her lips together, but if she was past that, if they were already coming out- well sometimes she didn't feel as though she were in charge of what words came spilling out. It felt as though someone angrier and more bitter was choosing them for her.

"I'll keep that in mind." He said. Everything about him was still tense, but he was doing everything he could to appear calm and Lily felt something mean boiling in the pit of her stomach.

"I'm sure that you will." She snapped, pushing herself to her feet. She started to march off toward the wooden structure that they'd been given and she could hear his footsteps behind her. He started talking before he was next to her.

"You think any other man in this camp let's some get that close to their wife?" He asked as she was pushing open the door and storming inside. She didn't know if she'd come here to get away from him or just to get them out of view of everyone. She didn't think it would bode well for them if they started a heated argument in the middle of the camp.

"What do you mean? He wasn't close to me,"

"He sure as hell was!" He countered. "I didn't walk over until he had slid down the log to sit nearly on top of you."

"He was only-" She shook her head and snapped her mouth closed. "I don't have to explain anything to you. Especially not when you're behaving like this."

"Stop talking to me like that!" He shook his head. "Stop talking to me like I'm a child! I wasn't even upset with you. You hadn't done anything wrong-"

"Oh well thank you for not being completely unreasonable."

"I wasn't being unreasonable!"

"You didn't say anything at all to him! Just pretended that he wasn't there!"

"Alright fine," He ran a hand through his hair. "Maybe I was jealous. I mean you were talking to him and smiling, letting him help you. So yes, I suppose that is what I was feeling." The way he said it had her grinding her teeth. As though his behavior was somehow excused because he'd identified the motivation behind it.

"You think I haven't been jealous before?" She asked, doing her best to keep control of her voice. Judging by the look on his face, the answer was a resounding 'no.'

oOo

_Lily's feet were nearing the point of requiring a team of specialists to get them out of her shoes. After all the walking around, she'd done in the impractical things, she was sure that they were swollen. Her feet hadn't felt swollen since she'd been pregnant with Harry, but it was unseasonably warm out, and between the roaring fires at either end of the ballroom and all the guests, well Lily was more than a bit warm._

_She looked around the room and allowed herself to feel some sense of pride for the party that she'd thrown. The anniversary that James had allowed her to decide if it was something she wanted to celebrate or not, seemed to be a big success with their court. She'd thought that giving him quite a large reminder that they were in fact married and bound together for life, might make him a bit more susceptible to perhaps smiling at her._

_And if that failed, then there was always alcohol. She'd never seen James drink unless it was at a party._

_She and James had made their big entrance together around two hours ago, and then they had talked to everyone as they came up to greet them. There were many congratulations to the both of them for their fruitful first year together. That was the words that they had used, and it made Lily's smile falter. They could have just congratulated them on the birth of their son, but they had to make it uncomfortable somehow. It was a lot of nodding and smiling on her part, but she'd been fine with it. She'd endured._

_At one point in all the congratulations, James had even reached out and squeezed her hand when one of his courtiers pointed out how lucky he was to have someone so lovely beside him. It hadn't lasted more than just a few seconds, but even now as she was standing at the edge of the room overlooking everything, she could still feel where his fingers had been._

_She took a deep breath, ran her hands down the sides of her skirts, smoothing them out unnecessarily, and then started off to find James. Her husband. It was their party and she was sure that he would deign to save her a dance or two. And with such a jovial atmosphere perhaps she would even be able to work a laugh or two out of him._

_Everything was going according to plan._

_She checked at the main table first, where she and James had eaten their dinner. And while she found an empty goblet, she also found an empty chair. She checked to make sure there was still some ale left in her own goblet before she picked it up and took a swig. She'd been slowly working her way through two goblets that evening, and she could feel the effects in her limbs and chest. A pleasant warmness, a sense of general good fortune. She smiled again and then turned toward the dance floor, hoping to join in on the merriment soon._

_If James wasn't here at the table, perhaps he was talking to some of the nobles. Of course, if he was it would be work related, but she didn't put it past him to do some extra work at a party, even if the nobles were trying to enjoy themselves. She walked around toward a group of men in fancy clothes and stiff expression and was glad to find that James was not with them._

_She chewed her lip and put her hands on her hips as she thought it over. Not at the table, not enduring small talk with old noblemen- She supposed that he could be with his knights. There were a few of them that seemed to be almost friendly toward James. And she could tell by the way he spoke of them that he was fond of them. But she couldn't seem to find a group of knights gathered, they were all interspersed throughout the party, enjoying themselves._

_She was about to ask one of the guards by the door if they had seen James leave the ballroom, when she heard something that she hadn't heard before. It was a laugh, a deep, rich, unfiltered laugh. But even though she hadn't heard it before, she instantly knew who had emitted the wonderful sound. She spun around and there he was, standing near the edge of the dance floor in the middle of the room, maybe twenty yards from her. She smiled widely as she took him in. His cheeks were flushed, his hair had gotten a more relaxed look throughout the night, the top button of his jacket was undone and most notably, he was smiling. It wasn't a small smile, it wasn't a forced smile, it was a genuine smile that had his eyes crinkled in delight. She hadn't seen one of those on his face but twice. Once at their first official meeting, and then again after he had heard Harry laugh for the first time._

_She started walking toward him, everything in her feeling light to the point where she felt that she might have been gliding across the floor instead of walking. She couldn't take her eyes off of him. Her heart was beating happily in her chest, she was sure that her own smile was a mirror of his._

_It'd been such a long year…_

_And then there was a second laugh, a beautiful tinkling sound that caused Lily's gaze to move away from James, toward where he was looking himself._

_Lily had seen her before of course, she was a nobleman's daughter, as Lily had been. She was a year younger than Lily, and a few inches taller. Her eyes were soft green, and her hair was the color of varnished wood. And the smile she wore while looking at James was just as striking as the one that he was wearing._

_She looked back at James, watched as he drank up the sound of Amelia Bones' laughter, the sight of her smiling up at him. The music was suddenly too loud, the crowd too stifling; she needed fresh air, she needed silence._

_But her feet seemed to be stuck to the floor, she couldn't move, she couldn't look away as James smiled at a girl she'd grown up with, as he laughed with her. He'd never laughed with Lily before._

_Someone bumped into her shoulder, and she took a few steps to the side to catch her balance. Whoever had knocked into her fell into a bow upon seeing who they had upset._

_"A thousand apologies, your majesty." They said, their voice louder than it needed to be. She didn't recognize who it was, but his voice carried, and it had caught the attention of the people around them. They all turned to look at Lily and this man who was still bowing._

_It had also caught James' attention, as he was the only other one who answered to that title, and it was normally directed at him. Lily's face turned red and she felt as though she had been caught spying on him. Her mouth went dry and for some stupid reason she actually felt embarrassed that she had saw whatever had been going on between James and Amelia._

_"Your majesty?" The man in front of her peeked up, concerned that he may have actually injured her. She opened her mouth to speak but ended up taking in a breath rather abruptly. She let it out and her hands went to clench at her skirts. There were too many people watching her flounder. She needed to regain her composure._

_She forced herself to smile at him, "I'm afraid that I'm the one who owes you an apology. I lost my breath there for a moment and left you waiting."_

_"Oh but it was my fault, your highness," He said, standing up now, but nodding his head._

_"It's a party!" She grinned, "Go." She shooed him. "Go and have fun!" He smiled at her again._

_"Thank you, my queen." Too many titles, too much acting. Lily kept the smile on her face anyway._

_She couldn't look back toward James, not wanting him to know that she'd seen him. And she wasn't naive enough to believe that he'd come to check on her. But because she hadn't looked, she didn't see Amelia come up to her._

_"Long live the queen," She said by way of greeting, that stupid smile still plastered to her face. "Look at you! I haven't seen you in so long and then I got an invitation to your anniversary ball and I was just tickled that you thought of me." Lily hadn't been in charge of the guest lists, and she almost felt the need to let Amelia know that. However, if Lily kept Amelia entertained, then Amelia couldn't entertain James._

_"Oh I couldn't forget to invite you. How many lessons did we sit through together practicing for such an event?" Lily grinned. Her tongue still feeling too dry. "It's so warm in here. Come get a drink with me so we can catch up." Amelia looked beside herself, perhaps because she'd been speaking to both the King and Queen so intimately in such a short time frame._

_"Well I'd never say no to a drink with my queen, but I'm afraid that I don't have much to report. You've certainly had the biggest and most exciting year." Lily knew that that was true because Petunia kept her updated in the lives of the other girls they had grown up with in her letters._

_"No prospects? That's a lie, Amelia Bones." She said playfully, the act becoming easier the more distance she put between James and Amelia. Her heart was still thudding in her chest, but it wasn't because she was still feeling embarrassed. There was anger there now. Or maybe it was still sharing a stage with the embarrassment. She could feel that her cheeks were still heated._

_Amelia started going on about something or other, but Lily couldn't hear what she was saying. She picked up a glass of something cool and bubbly and took a drink, forcing herself not to drink too much. That would only cause more stares. She looked past Amelia, who was now standing in front of her with her own glass of- champagne maybe? She looked over the girl's shoulder and saw James standing where she'd last seen him. And while she was looking at him, he looked over at her. He quickly averted his gaze, trying to make it appear as though he were just surveying the room. His smile from earlier was gone, and the look of a boy who had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar that he was sporting squelched the rest of the embarrassment that she was feeling._

_She had no reason to feel embarrassed. She was his wife, she had just given him a son, she had gone above and beyond to try and force more than a sentence or two out of him at dinner. She was always calm and collected when they were at a state function, she always looked immaculate, she never did anything that could be misconstrued as inappropriate. No, it was definitely all anger now._

_"Your highness?" Amelia interrupted her thoughts and brought her back to the conversation at hand._

_"I'm terrible sorry, Amelia." Lily sighed, tucking a lock of hair back behind her ear and then taking another sip of her drink. "But I think it's time that I danced with James." She grinned at the girl. "This is a party celebrating the two of us, after all."_

_"Of course!" The girl grinned and Lily knew that no matter how she felt, Amelia hadn't intentionally done anything wrong. She was from a smaller noble family like Lily's. She had most likely just been soaking up the attention of her sovereigns. Because she was smiling at Lily the same as she'd been smiling at James, she seemed genuine in her excitement and it made Lily's stomach twist in guilt for thinking ill of her only a moment ago._

_"It really has been nice to see you. I'll have to invite you up for tea soon. You and the other girls. I've missed our Sunday get-togethers."_

_"Oh that would be absolutely wonderful," Amelia grinned. Lily gave her a brief hug and then started toward James. His hands were clasped behind his back and he was still pretending as though he wasn't paying her any attention. It was strange because normally he didn't have any trouble not paying attention to her._

_Though when she stopped next to him, he still didn't look at her as he asked, "Friend of yours?"_

_Lily looked at him until he turned to face her. "Yes." She nodded. "Friend of yours?"_

_His eyes tightened as he tried to work out how she'd meant the question, as Lily had managed to come across as nonchalant. "She only just introduced herself to me." His own voice was measured._

_"Amelia is a lovely girl. Funny too." Lily looked back over her shoulder in Amelia's direction. She turned back to James, trying to work out how honest she should be with him, how much she needed to keep to herself. "I was glad to hear you laughing. I don't think I've ever seen you laugh like that before." She didn't want him to try and tell her what Amelia had said, so she pressed on. "I came over to ask you to dance."_

_He narrowed his brow again, almost as though he'd been waiting for her to say something else. But what could she say? "You want to dance?"_

_"Of course, I want to dance," She tried to find a bit of that light feeling that she'd had before. "It's a party for us, I think it'd be a bit ridiculous if we didn't dance, yes?" He cleared his throat and then nodded._

_"I suppose it would be strange if we didn't dance together." He turned and gave her a small bow before offering her his hand. She kept waiting for the smile she wore to stop fighting her, for it to lose the weight that threatened to pull the corners down._

_But they were both wearing fake smiles as they spun around the ballroom that night._

oOo

"What have you had to be jealous of?" James asked, the words tumbling out just as he thought of perhaps a half a dozen instances that could have made her jealous. And if he could think of so many, so quickly, he was sure there was more as well.

Lily sat down on the bed roll and started untying the cloth holding Grace to her chest. "I don't believe that you can't name a few times that I might have been jealous." She said before pressing her lips together. "I was better at hiding it than you seem to be, but still…" She tossed the cloth to the side and cradled Grace in her arms.

"I never did anything with the intention of-"

"Stop." She snapped, looking up at him, her eyes sparking. "You never did anything with the intention of making me jealous? I know that. I know that you didn't smile and laugh with other women to make me jealous. I know that you didn't do anything with the intention of making me feel any kind of emotion. Any decision that you've made or anything you've said over the last four years has been entirely separate from me unless I forced my way in somehow." She shook her head, a lock of hair falling into her face only for her to push it away angrily.

"That's why you were angry in the woods." He said as the notion finally dawned on him. It wasn't just that he had started showing concern, it wasn't only that he was reaching out to her for his own sake, it was that he'd never done so before. Not unless, as she'd said, she had forced him to consider her. He had never asked her to dance, only danced with her when she told him that they should. He'd never engaged her in conversation, only responded if he felt he had to. He'd never sought out her company, and even went so far as to leave a room that she was in if she hadn't noticed him yet.

She sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "I'm angry for a lot of reasons."

"I've never had someone be properly angry with me before." He said, sinking down next to her. "Not someone who is allowed to tell me off anyway. Never did anything that my parents thought I needed to be yelled at for. Though I know my mum would have a few choice words for me now." He felt his heart tighten painfully at the thought of how disappointed his parents would be if they could see him now.

He still missed them terribly, every day something made him think of them. They always seemed composed, always seemed to know what to say to whom. He could mimic their composure, but the second skill was much harder to fake.

And he'd reacted rather poorly when he'd seen Lily sitting at the fire with a man who could see the newborn strapped to her chest and didn't even know her real name. But he'd made her smile, and he'd marched across the camp and laid some sullen and petulant claim to her.

How many times had she told him that she had been starved for conversation and company these last four years? How many times had she told him that she'd been lonely? She wasn't the queen here, these people didn't know her, of course she was going to be excited to talk to whoever would let her talk. And that was an entirely different point than the fact that they'd agreed to talk to the people in town to gather information that they needed.

Some backwards, ignorant part of him had assumed that she'd only be talking to the women in the camp.

"You're right. Which is clearly becoming a pattern here," He looked over at her. She was chewing on her lip now, staring at the top of Grace's head. "I haven't spent much time considering you in this- in any of this. And when I reacted today, I did so without thinking of you. I can't help when I feel jealous or why, but I can help how I react to it. You like talking, you've missed it, and you've told me as much. And you're charming, so of course he was going to smile at you like he was."

Lily's brow crinkled at that. "Charming?"

"Yeah." He nodded, "You disagree?"

"No," She shook her head. "I just don't know why you would think so. I've never charmed you. And I've spent a good part of the last week shouting at you."

He let out a breathy laugh and ran a hand through his hair. "Doesn't mean that I haven't been watching you with other people. That story that you told Harry to get him to eat yesterday, or the way you simply decided that you were going to cook turnips today even though you've never cooked anything in your life. And I'm pretty sure that Remus would do anything you asked him to." She opened her mouth to protest or agree, he wasn't sure. "You charmed my parents too." He added, and her mouth closed. "Not one of the other noble girls or princesses were able to do that."

"I know." She said, and his brow quirked. She shrugged a shoulder in nonchalance. "Your mother said as much when she invited me to the castle to meet you."

"She wrote you?"

"A few times." She nodded. The tightness in his chest traveled down to knot his stomach.

"What about?" Lily considered him for a moment and then sighed.

"You can read them when we get back to the castle if you want."

"Really?" He asked, everything was feeling tight now. There were words the he could read, words that were his mothers. Words that he had never seen before.

"Of course." She said. "If you want to read them, then of course you can."

"And what if we don't get back to the castle?"

"Well I can't have you thinking like that." She sighed. She was quiet for a moment and then shrugged. "She talked about you quite a bit. How wonderful you were, and how proud of you she was." He didn't think that Lily was a spiteful person, so even if she could somehow see into his thoughts and know that he was already feeling the sting of disappointing his dead parents, she couldn't have known that saying that his mother was proud of him would make him feel worse. He remembered how they used to look at him.

"We talked about other things beside you though. She told me about places that she wanted to take me, whether it be the garden or a room in the castle or a manor on the other side of the country. We talked about my family, the nobles- what she knew of the older generation and what I knew of the younger." She shrugged. "I remember thinking, after the first letter I got form her, that she was very easy to speak to despite her being the Queen. She started each letter with 'My Dearest,' instead of my name. And she never took the time to dot her 'I's. I asked her about that once and she said she couldn't be bothered." Lily chuckled quietly and looked back at Grace.

"How many times did you meet her?" James asked. "Because she really wasn't the easiest person to get along with- I mean, she was picky. She didn't spend time with just anyone."

"I'm not just anyone, James." Lily said, her voice more distant than it had been when she had been talking about his mother. "I'm her successor. The first time I met her… well my own mother had been terribly sure that I'd offended the crown and I'd live the life of a lowly spinster. My mother is a bit of a dramatic person most of the time, something I refuse to believe I've inherited. But after the ball was over, she came up to me and I knew by the look on her face that she wasn't upset about what I- what I had done." She was being evasive, and he would press about that later. "She was sort of grinning and she told me that she saw something special in me. And then she invited me back to the castle for tea."

"Which ball was that?"

"The one for your eighteenth birthday." She said, not having to think about it.

There were a million more questions that he wanted to ask her, and at the front of all of that was what she'd done at his ball, but they were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Without waiting for an answer, Sirius walked into the structure with Remus in tow. The later looking rather put out. "I told you not to barge in here like that." Remus muttered.

"And I told you that you can't tell me what to do."

"And I told you that you can't treat the royal family like this."

"They're not wearing their crowns." He shrugged, as though that was what made the difference.

"I was wondering when I was going to meet you." Lily said, settling Grace onto the bed so she could stand up.

"Right," Sirius shifted, almost as though he were uncomfortable with her being here.

Lily walked up and stuck her hand out. He raised his brow and then extended her hand. "My name is Lily, it's a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"Don't know what James said about me that made you think to introduce yourself all proper. Or that meeting me would be a pleasure, but alright. Thank you, the name is Sirius. Or Prince of Thieves if it strikes your fancy." A smug grin taking over his face as he withdrew his hand.

"It won't," Lily said, her brow narrowed.

He frowned at her and James pretended to itch his face to hide his smile. "So, what was so urgent that you decided to harass Remus to get in here?"

"Oh there's nothing urgent. I just like messing with him. He get's all pissy." Sirius shrugged, his smile finding it's way back to his face. "But Peter just got in with a few more from Nottingham. Thought you'd like to meet him."

"I would." James nodded. "And the people he's brought with him." He glanced over at Lily, wondering if she was still angry with him for how he'd behaved. She'd been kind and patient with him the last few minutes, but they had been talking about his deceased parents. She probably wasn't pleased with him. "We both would," He amended, looking back at Sirius. The other man hesitated for a moment, but then shrugged.

"Alright, I suppose that's fine."

James didn't know why Sirius seemed to have a problem with Lily, but he did feel like including her in whatever this was, would make her feel more kindly toward him.

"Who is Peter?" Lily asked.

"A man who helps out." Sirius said quite unhelpfully.

"Peter and Regulus, Sirius's younger brother, they help find people who need a safe place to go. They find them and then they bring them here." James explained for her. "And I think they're the bandits who steal from the nobles."

"It's not like we steal anything that was there's to begin with. Just things that they took from us." Sirius' voice has an edge to it. James finds himself wondering again, if perhaps there is more to Sirius' fall from nobility than he is willing to share.

"So you only steal from the nobility responsible for this whole mess?"

"Yes." Sirius nodded, sparks flaring in his grey eyes. "And seeing as how every member of the nobility is responsible for letting this mess happen, it's very easy to avoid the innocent."

Lily leveled a glare at him, and James didn't know if he should step back to get out of the way, or step between them to stop a fight from ensuing.

Remus was the one who ended up intervening.

"Well let's go before we run out of daylight then," He said, grabbing Siruis's shoulder and pulling him toward the door of the hut. James walked over to the mat and scooped up Grace, cradling her against his chest before he reached one hand out and took Lily's hand.

"He's an arse." He said quietly. "But he's going to help us."

"Are you sure? It doesn't sound like he wants to help us." She said, squeezing his hand. He felt her nails start to dig into his palm before she released and shook her head. "The stories that come out of these woods don't paint these men out to be heros."

"No on here is claiming to be a hero." He said, though he was sure that Sirius would claim to be a hero if they asked him outright. He started toward the door, keeping hold of her hand.

"But they are." She argued, following him out of the hut. Sirius and Remus weren't too far ahead, but they hadn't waited for them either. That was probably courtesy of Remus, thinking it best to give Sirius and Lily a bit of space to cool off before anything else could be said. James would have to remember to thank him for that. He'd never seen that look in Lily's eyes before. She's spent a lot of time angry and yelling at him recently, but he'd never accused her of being complacent in the degradation of her people and that had clearly struck a nerve. "If they're fighting the villain, then they're the hero. He just said that every single member of our court is guilty by association with the men and women that ruined everything. There was no room to negotiate in his words."

"Then we'll make room." James tried to assure her, but she was right. What if Sirius's main goal in all of this wasn't to help James, but simply to show him the damage that his ignorance had brought about? "We'll convince him that we're the right people to stand behind. It's not his fault if he can't think of any reason to do it now."

Lily huffed, and he knew that she could see the truth in his words. "How?"

"How do we convince him?" James asked with a sigh. "I don't know. I guess we just show him we care. Show him that we're willing to fight for him. For all of them."

"We've always been willing." Lily said, a desperate whisper in her voice. He didn't like hearing it, but the same whisper had been in many of his thoughts. "We just didn't know there was a fight going on."

It was James' turn to squeeze her hand, though it was in comfort and not anger when he did it. "You don't have to tell me."


	6. Building Hope

_"Hold fast to dreams,_   
_For if dreams die_   
_Life is a broken-winged bird,_   
_That cannot fly."_   
_― Langston Hughes_

Lily kept James' hand in hers as they followed after Remus and Sirius. It was comforting to have her hand wrapped up in his larger one. She'd been so annoyed and frustrated with him only moments before, but then Sirius had gone and made a stupid comment and now all her anger had been redirected at him.

She had to keep reminding herself that she and James were a team, and she knew that he felt like he had to keep reminding her too. He invited her along after all. But she was alright if he kept reminding her, because then she didn't feel as though she needed to be reminding him.

She let out a sigh. Her brain felt like it was clouded and tired.

And really, she wasn't so sure that she had all that much to be angry about now that she'd talked it over with him. She wasn't going to tell him that she didn't have anything to be angry about, but still. She had used her authority as queen to get a woman away from him the first time she'd been jealous. He'd just sat down next to her, brooding. If she'd had the gull before, if she hadn't been frozen to the spot, she would have marched up and asked him to dance. She could have interrupted their conversation, but she hadn't.

And she hadn't held back purposefully, she hadn't stopped herself because she wanted to be mature, she had just been surprised into silence.

And then they had delved into the topic of his parents, and she wasn't sure how they'd gotten there really. She'd never talked to James about his parents before, and he'd seemed very eager to soak up all the information on his mother that she had. She wished that she had more to give him. Her parents were still alive, and she hated to imagine how hard things would be without them- but at the same time, she knew that things had been different for James. At the time, his parents had been his only family. And even if he had friends in his knights and nobles, they weren't his equals. Loosing his parents had isolated him in a way that Lily was glad wouldn't happen to her when her parents passed.

That was perhaps the first time she realized why he may have made the conscious decision to continue that isolation. Having old wounds ripped open and made new, could be more painful than the original wound. Losing hope after having to learn how to hope again could be devastating. And he hadn't been ready. But he was a king, and the one thing that a king never got, was time to himself. So he had married Lily, in the only capacity that he had been able to.

She was still angry of course, but a softer sort of anger had taken its place. She glanced over at him, Grace still tucked against his chest, and she felt her own chest tighten at the image.

"Trying to decide if you still want to shout at me?" He asked. He was grinning, but he was being sincere in his question.

"I don't want to shout at you anymore."

He looked down at her and brushed his thumb over the back of his hand. "Why not?"

They weren't alone at the moment, Sirius and Remus weren't that far ahead of them, and other people from the camp were ambling about on the path they walked. But even if they were alone, she wasn't sure she would have been entirely honest. "We've got more important things to do." She shrugged, the corner of her mouth quirking upward. "Besides, I can always shout at you later."

He snorted and shook his head. "Right. There's always later."

She squeezed his hand, tilting her head so it rested against his shoulder.

"Alright, lovebirds." Sirius had stopped and turned around to face them. "Here we are,"

Lily looked around. She hadn't been paying much attention to where they were headed, and she now realized that she didn't recognize this part of the forest. There was a smaller bonfire than back in the center of the camp, and a group of hammocks set up in the trees around the pit. The men over here didn't seem concerned about much of anything, aside from the large mugs in their hands.

"Welcome to our make shift tavern. Blondie over there goes by Rosmerta. We got her out of Hogsmeade a month or so ago, and she demanded that we bring her stock of liquor. Had to oblige of course," His grin was absolutely devilish. Lily didn't think that liquor should have been at the top of their list of supplies to gather, but she couldn't say that some of the men around here didn't seem to need the reprieve that it could bring.

"And this is where Peter and Regulus are?" James asked, sounding as though he were trying to keep Sirius on task.

Sirius huffed, whether because James didn't ask for a glass, or because he didn't seem all that impressed either, Lily wasn't sure. "Yeah, they're over here." He walked off the path and Lily looked over at Remus. He looked as though he had spent a bit too much time with Sirius. His face was pulled into a look of pure exasperation.

"I never said he wouldn't be an arse." James said quietly as he passed Remus.

"He's somehow more arrogant than any Lord I've ever met, and he sleeps in a tree." Remus muttered, running a hand over his face.

"I just hope he's going to be helpful when the time comes." Lily said, stepping over a protruding root as she followed after the man in question. He walked up to a hammock on the far side of the fire and shook it. A disgruntled, strikingly similar looking man popped up immediately and looked around. Lily stiffened when she saw that he had a knife in his hand and seemed ready to attack.

"Get up, there's some people you should meet." Sirius knocked against the hammock above him too. "You too, Pete! Get up!"

"We just got back!" The man from the second hammock called down, not moving much except perhaps to roll over. Lily couldn't be sure since she couldn't see him from where she stood on the ground.

"Yes and now you'll get up and smile for a minute while I tell you some people's names." Sirius slapped at the hammock again and Peter cursed at him, but then obliged.

When both men's feet were on the ground Regulus sighed and shook his head. "You know, I think I've already met him before." He nodded at James and Sirius hit him over the head.

"This is John and Lela, not sure what their kid's name is. Or why it's here."

"You know her name is Grace." Remus sighed. "You were talking about her earlier." Sirius rolled his eyes and Lily was curious as to why he'd been talking about her daughter. She'd have to ask Remus.

"Whatever. Anyway, this is Peter and Regulus."

James let go of Lily's hand, so he could reach out and shake their hands. "It's nice to see you again, Regulus. And nice to meet you Peter. Sirius has told me what you've both done for all of these people."

And James had told Lily. "It's truly remarkable that you've been able to get them all out here and to safety."

"Wouldn't have had to if the royals had been paying attention." Sirius muttered, and Lily saw Regulus roll his eyes. She decided that she liked him.

"Yeah, that would have solved everything."

"You're only disagreeing because you hate agreeing with me."

"No. I'm disagreeing because you're wrong, as usual."

Sirius went to respond, and Peter interrupted him. "Well that could go on for hours," He nodded in Lily's direction. "It's nice to meet you both. And thank you for your kind assessment. We do what we can."

"It's more than anyone else has been able to do." James grinned. "Unless there's another slightly larger hidden camp in a different wood."

"Unlikely, but not impossible." Peter grinned as well. He seemed to be softer around the edges than the Black brothers, and entirely more pleasant. Lily decided that she liked him too.

"We can keep hiding people for quite some time," Regulus inhaled through his nose and crossed his arms over his chest. "But that's not going to fix the problem."

"No, but it is safer than the alternative." Peter countered. "We don't have the numbers to fight back against Riddle and his cronies."

"But that's the thing, isn't it? We don't know if we have the numbers or not. We don't know how many people are actually loyal to him, and how many are simply allowing him to be a great prat simply because they're afraid of him."

"And they don't know about this place either." James said, looking eager to agree with Regulus. He was the first person that either of them had talked to that seemed to want to fight. "That'd be another advantage. If there was an attack against Riddle, he wouldn't know how many people he was fighting."

"Or where they came from," Regulus' lip pressed together firmly, clearly pleased that James was agreeing with him. He knew who James was after all. He turned to look at his brother who was frowning between the two of them.

"Fanciful thinking."

"You're a coward." Regulus muttered.

"You're an idiot." Sirius shot back, though one of these blows seemed to have landed far better than the other. Regulus simply rolled his eyes.

"Sometimes fighting back is the right course. It keeps you from losing everything. But we have already lost everything. So we can only gain at this point."

"You could get yourself killed." Sirius pointed out, "Though I suppose I'm the one thinking wishfully now."

Peter, once again, intervened. "As you can see, living in the woods for so long has made some of the men quite restless. They take to fighting amongst one another instead of remembering who the real enemy is."

"Don't use me as some kind of example," Sirius muttered at the same time as Regulus said, "I can fight more than one thing at a time."

"So can I," Sirius crossed his arms over his chest as well, drawing himself up to full height. Though it didn't do much. The brothers seemed to be the same height. Though Lily thought that Regulus had the upper hand in this situation, as he had a nonchalance about him that Sirius normally wore.

"Prove it," Regulus clipped, quirking his brow up. Sirius snarled under his breath and turned on his heel, marching over to Rosemerta to get something to drink.

"Clearly they've been through a lot." Peter said, ignoring the fact that Regulus was still standing next to him and attempting an explanation for their behavior to James and Lily. "And tensions really are running high. Not just with the two of them."

"You can't blame them." Regulus said, sweeping an arm around to encompass the camp. "They've had everything taken from them! Their homes, their families! They have every right to be angry!"

"I can blame you though. You should know better." Peter sighed and then walked off to where Sirius was.

"He doesn't care as much as you do," Lily guessed, "About what you lost." Regulus narrowed his eyes.

"You fancy yourself wise, do you? Keep your nose out of my business." He snapped.

"You two were thick as thieves back when we were all kids." James said, his voice holding a warning not to speak to Lily like that again. She'd seen him do that trick of his numerous times. He'd say one thing while silently saying another at the same time.

"Well we still are in a way, yeah?" Regulus smirked. "But everything else has changed. He's changed." He shook his head.

"But you're working together." Lily said. "You've helped so many people together."

"And?"

"Well that has to mean something, right?"

"He's my brother. He's the only family that I have left. That's all it means." He turned to leave as well, though he started in the opposite direction that Peter and Sirius had gone.

"So it means an awful lot then." She called after him. He paused, not long enough to actually stop walking, but enough for her to notice.

James cleared his throat and then looked over at Lily. "Well I think our first meeting with them went perfectly." He said and then cracked a smile at her. She huffed and shook her head.

"I like them. Better than Sirius for sure." She added.

oOo

Lily had taken Grace back to the hut, leaving James to try and come to some sort of understanding with Sirius and Peter, and maybe Regulus if he ever came back over.

"We don't have the numbers," Sirius repeated for perhaps the dozenth time. Though he was on his second mug of mead and the sharpness of his words had been dulled. "And even if we did, I'm not sure you deserve to have your old life back." He'd said that before too, so James let it roll off him.

"It doesn't matter if we have the numbers, I know the layout of the castle better than anyone. If we're strategic and smart about this, then all we need is the element of surprise."

Sirius took a deep breath and closed his eyes. James didn't blame him for the fatigue, they'd been talking in circles for a couple of hours now. It wasn't getting them anywhere.

"Look," Remus said, rubbing his hand against his jaw, "At the end of the day, we have to decide if it's worth it yes? Is it worth risking our lives to get out of the woods? To get out of hiding?"

"You've been here for only a few days," Peter reminded him. "Is it really that bad?"

Remus grinned and shook his head. "No, it's not that bad. It's actually remarkable what you all have been able to build back here, out of everyone's eye. But I don't think anyone here thinks of this as a permanent thing, right? This is temporary. Otherwise the huts would be houses, the hammocks wouldn't be for sleeping, but for lounging. Someone would have started an actual farm so that we'd have more that just turnips to eat."

"It was definitely not built with the intent of being a permanent settlement." Peter allowed. "But there are a lot of people with young children who would prefer to stay hidden rather than risk the young one's lives."

"But this isn't a life," James said, narrowing his brow and thinking of Harry and Grace. Sure, Harry was having the time of his life now, but this was no way to grow up. Not when you had to stay hidden behind a make shift fence. Not when you could never talk to anyone outside of the forest. Sooner or later they were all going to get restless and bored.

"Well if you're not happy with it, then you're welcome to leave." Sirius snapped. "I took these people in, I promised them that they'd be safe, so I'm not going to go back on my word now and ask them to fight for something that I don't have a whole lot of faith in."

James nodded. "Alright, that's fair." He conceded. "But I'm going fight. It was my job to keep everyone here safe in the first place and I couldn't do that. But I'm going to do everything I can' to make sure that I don't become complacent. Someone took something from me, from my people and I'm going to get it back."

Sirius narrowed his eyes at him. "Those are pretty words from a crownless king hiding in plain sight." Peter looked at James with a furrowed brow, not understanding what Sirius meant by that. But James watched as the moment of recognition dawned on him. He waited for the anger or the resentment, but it didn't come. Not from Peter.

"They're not just words." But James knew that he was right. If he really wanted to make a difference, if he wanted to fix everything, he was going to have to tell the people in this camp who he was. He was going to have to put his wife and children in danger of being kicked out of the one place that was probably safe for them. "I know that I have to let everyone know who I am. But I can't force them to stand beside me," He said. "So I was waiting until Lily was able to travel, until it wouldn't be dangerous for Grace if these people didn't want us to stay here."

"Sure you were," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"What happened to you?" James asked, tired of his attitude. "You were a noble and now you hate every noble, you hate me, you hate the kingdom… what happened?"

Sirius only glowered at him and then walked off a second time. James had no intention of following after him now though.

"It's a touchy topic for him. He punched me in the arm the last time I asked him about it." Peter said. "But what I've been able to gather, he knew something was up. His family was involved with Riddle somehow. I think he got his parents killed, almost got Reg killed too. S'why they haven't been able to get along for some time. Which is a shame because the way they talk sometimes, when they're drunk or too tired to argue, you know that they used to be really close."

"They were," James said, trying to digest that. "So you think it's guilt?"

"Guilt and anger. He got his family in harms way, and then he wasn't able to tell anyone about Riddle before it was too late. Whether that was a judgment call or a missed opportunity, I'm not sure." Peter shrugged.

James shook his head and sighed. Everything was so much more complicated that he had thought it would be when he set about fixing things. He knew that it wasn't going to be easy, he knew that it was going to take time, but there were layers upon layers here that he had to dig through, decipher. It was going to take time and energy that he didn't have.

He needed to get Sirius to work with him, and soon.

oOo

Lily had gone back to the hut to feed Grace and happened upon her son along the way. He was the filthiest she'd ever seen him. His entire face was coated in dirt, there were sticks and leaves in his hair, a large tear in his pants and a red smear across his cheek that she thought might be blood. Upon spotting him walking in her direction she knelt down to the ground, Grace still in one arm, and beckoned him over.

"What happened to you?" She asked, gripping his chin when he got close enough and turning his face to inspect the damage. When she let go, her thumb came away coated in mud. "Is that blood? Are you hurt?" Her mind went to the worst place, understandably. They had just outrun madmen hellbent on killing them after all.

"I'm fine," He said, pushing her hand away as she'd tried to pull a few sticks from his hair. He laughed and wiped his nose on his sleeve. "We were running around a pond and I slipped in the mud." He walked over to their hut and pushed the door open. Lily followed.

"You slipped? Did anyone help you? Do you have a cut somewhere under all that mud?"

"Fred pulled me out of the mud. George and Ron thought it was funny." He laughed again. "It was just a nose bleed." Just a nose bleed? Lily blanched.

"Does it hurt?"

"I'm alright," He shrugged and then went to get on his bedroll. Lily reached out and just managed to grab his shirt sleeve before he stepped onto the blanket.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm tired." He said, his little brow furrowing. "Ron had to go in and sleep and I want to sleep too."

Lily had no issue with her three year old wanting to take a nap, she had issue with the fact that he was about to get into his bed while coated in mud. "Well don't you think you'll get your blanket and bear a bit dirty if you get into bed like that?"

He just shrugged and tried to tug his sleeve out of her grip. "Someone will clean it."

Lily stood up straighter and kept her grip on his sleeve. "Who?" She asked, though as soon as she'd asked him that she realized that it wasn't fair for her to ask him to think past what he was capable of.

Because of course he would think that if he got his clothes or his bed dirty, someone would just clean it up for him. That's how their lives had worked back in the castle. Someone had always just cleaned up after them. But now, seeing him covered in mud and blood, She didn't know how she was going to fix it. She didn't know how to fix the tear in his pants. She didn't know how to properly patch clothing, nor did she have the materials to do so.

"Look at you, Harry," She changed course, knowing he wasn't going to come up with someone anyway. There was no one. "You can't go out and get filthy like this! You tore your pants! You don't have any other clothes." She sighed, running her hand through his hair, trying to get some of the dirt and sticks out. A few fell to the ground and she sighed. "Take them off."

"My clothes?" He asked, looking down at them as though he couldn't even see the mud.

"You never used to play like this." She said.

"We didn't have any mud back at the castle," He said rather logically. "Though when we go back, we should get some."

"Some mud?"

"Yes." He nodded. "It's a lot of fun to squish with your toes."

Lily let out a huff of exasperated laughter. "What am I going to do with you?" Harry gave her a big toothy grin. She walked over and set Grace down in the bassinet and then moved to help Harry take off the mud coated clothes. She tried to use the cleaner parts to wipe off his face and his feet, but she was just pushing around more dirt it seemed like. "Don't get into bed yet."

Harry let out a whine and stomped his foot. "I don't want to get clean right now." He said, inching toward his cot.

"I know you don't, but I don't want you to sleep in a dirty bed tonight."

"I want to," He said and took another step toward the cot. Lily shot him a look, but he took another step, so she tried to reach out for him again, but he ran over to his bed and jumped right on top of the blanket. Lily picked him up around the middle and there were not two dark footprints where his feet had been only a moment before.

"Harry, I told you not to do that."

"Put me down!" Harry yelled.

"We have to clean you off first, then you can go to bed." She tried to reason with him. Turns out that you can't reason with a three-year-old. Let alone a tired one. The tears seemed to come out of nowhere.

He continued to fight her, trying to push away her hands and the cloth she had gotten wet with their drinking water. He yelled and cried, and she felt like doing the same, grinding her teeth to keep her sharp tongue from lashing out.

When James walked through the door of the hut an hour or so later, Harry and Grace were both dozing and Lily, startled by his sudden arrival, was trying to wipe tears from her eyes before he could see that she'd been crying.

He saw anyway.

"Lily? What's wrong?" He walked over to where she was sitting on the edge of the bed roll and knelt in front of her. "Are you alright? Should I get Molly."

She shook her head, trying to take a deep breath through her nose, to calm herself, but she opened her mouth to tell him what happened, "Harry yelled at me." And then she was crying again. Quietly, as not to wake her children, but still crying.

She couldn't see James' face from behind her fingers, but she guessed that he looked flabbergasted. She felt as though she was being too emotional about this, but she couldn't help it.

"He- he yelled at you?" James put a hand on her arm and she nodded, taking a shaky breath.

"I can't stop crying about it, and I feel like an idiot."

"Oh, love." He sat down next to her and put an arm around her, pulling her close. She allowed him to do so. She even turned and buried her face in his chest. "Of course, you're upset about it. Has he ever done that before?"

"Not like this." She shook her head. "He told me he didn't like me anymore."

James narrowed his brow. "Why?"

Lily sighed, brushing at her tears. "Well, I told him he couldn't get into bed when he was covered in mud and then I tried to wash him up." James snorted, and Lily looked up at him. "It wasn't funny."

"Right, sorry."

"He needs new clothes. He's only got one outfit and he tore his trousers and I don't know if they're even salvageable." She felt more tears spilling over and she huffed again.

"We'll find him more clothes." James promised. "Maybe we can ask Molly if she has any extra."

"I don't want to keep asking people to do things for us that we should be able do on our own." She sighed. "Why would he say that he doesn't like me?" She asked, pulling back and looking up at him.

"He didn't mean anything by it." James tried to assure her, but he hadn't been there. He didn't know how Harry had looked at her either.

"He did mean something by it!" She said, remembering to keep her voice down. "You should have seen it! It was like I was dragging him across burning coals instead of wiping mud off his face. I've never seen him like that." She knew that the only reason that she'd never seen him like that was because Minerva had taken care of him a majority of the time. She liked to think that she was a good mother, but motherhood seemed different outside of the castle. It was dirtier, and she never got a break from it.

"He loves you." James tried again. "He loves you and he likes you. Haven't you ever told your mother that you didn't like her when you got mad at her?"

"No," She snapped. "Did you do that?"

James shrugged, but just by looking at him, she knew that he had never said anything like that to his mother. "Alright, not that I could remember, but I don't remember being Harry's age. I could very well have said something like that to her."

"But you didn't."

"You don't know that."

"You wouldn't say that you didn't like your mum."

"I wouldn't say it now, but I'm also not an exhausted three-year-old with limited self-control."

Lily snorted and shook her head. "He hurt my feelings."

"I wouldn't have liked to hear him tell me that he didn't like me." James said. "But I'm sure he'll make it up to you somehow as soon as he wakes up and remembers that you're his favorite person in the world." She sniffed again, wiping hopefully the last of her tears from her cheeks.

"You think I'm his favorite?"

"Oh for sure."

"Are you just trying to make me feel better?"

"I mean, if you weren't crying I'd try and argue that I'm in the running, sure."

She laughed at that and let her head fall back onto his shoulder. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." She could hear the smile in his voice. They were quiet for a few moments and Lily took the time to get her breathing back under control. She was aware that they were close, cuddling even, but she was also aware that it was comforting to have him sit next to her and listen to her worry over nothing. To have him reassure her of things that she did already know, despite what she may have said. There was nothing forced or awkward about this moment, and she didn't feel anything but gratitude over the fact that he wanted to help her.

She sat up after a moment and stood, walking over to get herself something to drink.

"I did come in here to talk to you," James said as she was bringing the water up to her lips.

"Oh? Something about Peter, Sirius and Regulus? Did they talk to you after I left?"

"Well Regulus never came back, but Sirius, Peter and I argued for a good while. Remus was being the stony silent type most of the time, but he was arguing on my side when he did speak up."

"And was this a productive argument."

"Sirius said that he's not going to ask these people to fight for us." Lily sighed, though she hadn't been expecting anything else. Of course, he wasn't going to. She looked over at James, ready to assure him that they would find another way, that they would come up with another plan. "I'm going to ask them myself." He added before she got the chance to say anything.

Lily furrowed her brows and pressed her lips together. "And why do you think that would work? They don't know you. You're good at giving speeches when you want to be, but these people are scared and desperate, they're not going to rally behind a stranger."

"No, they're not." James agreed, and Lily felt her stomach clench. "I think we need to tell them who we are first."

"James that's very dangerous." She said, though she knew that he already knew that. They'd talked about it before, they'd talked about how dangerous it could be, how much of a set back it would be to all their plans if they were to get thrown out of this place. If they let them out of this place anyway.

"I know that." He nodded, standing up from the bedroll and taking a step toward her. "But we can't hide forever, and if we want these people to help us get our crown back, our kingdom back, then we're going to have to show them that their King and Queen are willing to fight for them. Willing to fight with them."

Lily worried her lip and pushed her hair away from her face. "I don't know, James. I mean, I know what you're saying is true, I agree with you… I just…" She looked over at Grace and then back at Harry. He'd had such a hard time when they'd been on the move every day, all day. His little feet had had so many blisters when Lily had bathed him in the creek by their last camp before they'd found this place.

"I know." He was looking at Harry too. "I don't want to put him through that again either." He looked back at her. "But this isn't just about our kids, Lily. This is about all the children in the kingdom. It's about everyone in the kingdom. Riddle has already proven that he's not going to take care of them. He's had his men torment hundreds of people that we know of and he's showing no signs of stopping. I don't know what his goal is, or what end he has planned, but things are bleak, and we need to do something."

"I know that." She closed her eyes and covered her face with her free hand. "I know that, I just… It'd be so much harder this time. With Grace now-" She shook her head. "Can you just give me a while to think about this?" She asked, not sure what exactly she had to think about. She knew all the consequences already. She knew what was on the line. But she couldn't- couldn't just agree right then and there. She was already feeling enough like a terrible mother without readily agreeing to put her children in harms way.

"Of course." He nodded, and Lily wondered if he was being honest. If she said 'no,' if he'd really honor her word or if he'd still do what he thought was best. After the last week, she had ever reason to believe that he would listen to her. That he really did want to work with her now.

"You mean it?" She asked anyway.

He narrowed his brow and took a small step forward. "I do mean it." He nodded, reaching out and taking her free hand again. "We're a team, remember? And you said that we could be a pretty good one if we tried."

"I did say that." She nodded, looking at the cup of water she was still holding.

"Well then we'll try that. We're not going to do anything unless we agree on it. Together."

She gave him a small smile and nodded. "Together."

oOo

_There was a lot of things that Lily wasn't prepared for when she started walking down the aisle on her wedding day. There were far too many people for one, almost none of which she knew personally, and they all seemed to be looking directly at her. Which in retrospect, she should have expected, but in the moment, she felt as though they were all waiting for her to trip. Especially the noblewomen who had been passed over, those who had been born into a higher class than Lily and were not about to become queen. She was a noble, but only just, and only in title. Her family was far more merchant class than noble class._

_But the other thing that she wasn't prepared for when she started her walk down the aisle, was the coronation portion of the ceremony. She wasn't just marrying James, she was marrying the king and therefore the crown. Her accepting his proposal also meant that she accepted a crown for herself._

_Euphemia had warned her of this side of things, she had told her that her duties as queen would feel far more ceremonial than anything else and Lily had assumed that she would grow into the role as she went, that she would have a few more years before taking the older woman's role on. But fate had other plans and she ended up becoming the queen as she became James' wife._

_The priest started talking about her duties and vows to the kingdom and more so than when he was talking about her duties and vows to James, she felt each word weighing heavily on her heart._

_Lily Evans had never been responsible for another person in her life. She could hardly be considered responsible for herself. There was always someone around to help her out of a difficult decision or steer her on the right path. As she listened to the priest however, it became clear that despite the amount of power she would actually have, she would soon be seen as responsible for the wellbeing and happiness of all of the people in England._

_Her breath caught in her throat before she was able to swear her fealty and devotion to her people. To every single person that lived within the English boarder. She felt as each and every person who she ever came across in her lifetime swam before her eyes and added their problems and livelihood to her shoulders. It was as though they were all tossing pebbles for her to hold. The task seemed impossible. A few pebbles were manageable, but she was bond to drop many the more people came._

_Through most of the ceremony after that, she kept thinking of her newfound responsibility. She'd always been thought of as a silly girl, with too many smiles. Someone who wasn't rooted in reality enough to have valid opinions, and try as she might to dissuade people from that point of view, she couldn't._

_She would have to now though._

_She knelt before the priest and had a crown placed atop her head. She was surprised at how light it was, how insignificant it seemed when in the eyes of everyone around her it made all the difference in the world. With that crown, they weren't just people anymore, they were her people. They were her responsibility._

_And that, more than anything else, terrified her._

oOo

Lily had collected Grace and left James to watch after Harry. She told him that she was going to Molly's to see if she did have any extra clothes for him. James reminded her to ask for herself as well, but Lily knew that she wasn't going to be able to ask for that many favors and only smiled at him.

She carefully walked out of the woods, past the carefully hung branches and leave covered nets, into the Weasley's backyard. She saw Bill and Charlie over at the woodpile, though she couldn't disconcert if they were playing or doing chores of some sort. She wasn't sure if that said more about her as a mother, or as a less than competent member of the society that she'd found herself in.

She walked up to the back door and knocked, adjusting Grace in her arms and trying not to feel as though she were completely helpless. Molly opened the door and didn't look at all surprised to see her, she just stepped to the side and let her in.

"What can I do for you, Lily?" She asked, and Lily gave her a look, but couldn't correct her since she had come here to ask for more than one favor.

"I'll start with the easier of the two first," Lily sighed. "I was wondering if you had any extra clothes that would fit Harry. He came back to the… the um-"

"The hut?" Molly supplied, and Lily nodded.

"Yes. He came back to the hut and he'd completely soiled his clothes. And tore the trousers."

"I was going to offer him a change of clothing or two, but I didn't know if you'd want him running around in the type of clothing I have." Molly shrugged.

"What does that mean? What type of clothing do you have?"

"Well," She motioned to her own dress. "You've been wearing the dress you showed up in since you got here, and your boy is in finery as well. Dirty and worn, but still."

Lily narrowed her brow and shook her head. "You think we're wearing this because- I don't want to ask for help! It's my pride that's getting in the way, sure, but not in the way that you think. Part of me is afraid to take advantage of your kindness, and part is worried that you'll agree simply because you know who I am. But I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't also ashamed that I know how to do almost nothing for myself." She hadn't been prepared to get this honest with Molly, but the words flowed quickly and easily. Molly only smiled at her.

"Oh you don't have to worry about that." Molly assured her. "But I'm not in the habit of letting little boys run around naked. I'll get him something." She promised and Lily sighed.

"I don't know how I'm ever going to manage to repay you." Lily sighed, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.

"You can take a seat," Molly nodded at the table. "You said that you had something else to ask of me too? I'm assuming that you want a new dress as well." Her eyes ran over the mangled garb that was on Lily's frame and Lily shook her head.

"I mean, I could probably use one, but that's not why I'm here." She should have just accepted her help, but she really did feel as though she were asking too much. "But I need to talk to you about something else."

"Alright, let me make some tea then." Molly walked across the room as Lily took a seat at the table as Molly had suggested.

"James said that he wants to tell everyone in the camp who we really are." She had no preamble. She just cut straight through to the heart of it. "He wants to ask them to fight back against Riddle, but that we need to prove to everyone that we're on their side if we want them to fight for us. Which I know- I keep saying 'James says' but I know all this. I just…" She trailed off, shaking her head.

"You don't know if you want to do it?" Molly asked, foregoing the tea and just taking a seat next to Lily. Lily nodded.

"The whole of my being Queen, I've not had much to do with politics or the people who didn't actually live in the kingdom. I didn't know what I was doing and James- well he-" She was already being so honest with Molly, but she didn't think she could tell her just how much of a shame her marriage was.

"He was so young." Molly supplied, and Lily took the offer.

"Yes. Neither one of us were expecting to become king and queen so young. I thought that his mother would be there to help ease me into it, that I wasn't going to have to guess at what I was supposed to be doing all the time." She sighed. "And clearly what we were doing and what we were not doing, didn't end with us being in a good place. Riddle took advantage of our naivety and the nobles took advantage of the fact that we needed to trust them and everything fell apart."

I've never had to make a big decision like this before." She said, her voice dropping. "I've never been in charge of anything other than parties and dinners. I've always cared," She said quickly. "But I've never had to prove it. I've never had to make a choice where I put my people before the safety of my children." Because currently they were safe here, weren't they? They were fed and clothed and they had a roof of sorts over their head. She wasn't sure it would hold up to rain, but still.

"And so, you've come to ask me what you should do?" Molly's brow was hidden under her fringe and Lily was only able to give half a shrug. "These people are angry." She sighed, leaning back in her chair. "And I'm sure that there's a great number of them that aren't going to take kindly to you being here." She added, giving Lily a look.

"I know that." Lily said, bouncing Grace in her arms. "And we'd be prepared to leave the camp if that's what they wanted-"

"I wasn't finished yet." Molly said, leaning forward now, setting her forearms on the table. "They'd be angry at first, but these people here… They're angry and desperate and hopeless. They need something to rally behind. They need something- someone to give them hope. To give them a reason to fight for what's theirs. Finding out that their king and queen have been living beside them in the woods, struggling to help and survive-"

"It'll make people more angry." A new voice said, and Lily and Molly turned to see Mary standing in the doorway. "You lied to them, but before that you got them all stuck in this situation."

Lily looked back at Molly, but she was just looking at Lily with her arms over her chest now. "I'm not sure they'll all talk to you like that, but they will have words for you. Words you're not going to want to hear."

"You're alright with this?" Mary asked. "You're alright with her being the queen?"

"She knows that she's messed up and she wants to try and fix things." Molly shrugged. "I don't see anyone else trying to do anything about it."

"You are!" Mary shouted. "You're doing something about it!"

"Oh am I?" Molly asked, sounding tired. "I'm giving desperate people a place to sleep. I'm not fixing the problem, I'm not stopping more people from needing a place to sleep." She shook her head. "How much longer do you think we can keep this up? If the camp gets much bigger then we're not going to be able to keep it from passerby's. They're going to be able to hear us from the road and someone will come asking questions. We don't have a solution, just a bandage."

Mary shook her head and let out a huff. "This isn't- I mean- how do we trust these people? We've already done that and look where it's gotten us."

"Have you met Riddle?" Molly asked, standing up from her chair. "He's been hellbent on taking the throne for far longer than you've been alive, he saw a weakness and he took advantage of it. There wasn't much that James or Lily could do about it." Lily wasn't so sure about that, but it did help to lift some of the weight form her shoulders.

"Okay, but they already had their chance to fix things." Mary argued, but she was already losing her fight. Lily could tell that she didn't like arguing against Molly. She didn't think that would help them with many other people in the camp though.

"Well I think we could all benefit from giving them a second chance." Molly shrugged. Then she stood and went to go make the tea.

oOo

Lily had conceded upon returning to the camp. James hadn't been surprised that she'd agreed to his plan, only that she'd agreed so quickly. His heart had jumped up in his throat and he'd realized that he had wanted to her to take some time to think it over so that he could have some time before he actually had to get up in front of everyone and ask for their help, for their loyalty.

As their king, he'd never had to ask for loyalty before, he'd only expected it and it had come. This was different, entirely new to him.

But he stood up before a growing crowd around the campfire that night and he gave a speech, a call to arms. He told the group of refugees who he and Lily were, who their children were and watched their faces as they became angry and confused. Lily and Remus stood beside him, and even though he could feel the tension growing in the air, he couldn't help but feel hopeful too.

These were his people and he was going to make things better for them.


	7. Willing to Pay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so I added this fic to AO3 this past week, and now I will be updating it in real time. I update on Sundays here and on ff.net  
> I hope you all enjoy it, if you do let me know!

_"Dreams and freedom are the same. In order for them to be, they come with a price."_

_― Criss Jami, Killosophy_

* * *

 

_When James was fifteen years old, his father called him into his office, sat him down across from him and asked for his opinion on war strategies._

_At fifteen, James had never been asked his opinion on war strategies or about the war at all, and the first thing that jumped out of his mouth was that the war needed to end._

_His father's smile had been warm as he leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chair. "I agree with you." James was surprised to hear that._

_"Well then what are we doing? Why do we keep fighting if you want the war to end?"_

_Fleamont looked over his son for a moment. "Why do you think the war hasn't ended yet?"_

_This was a common tactic that James' father used to get him to try and understand a point of view different from his own. James would be venting about how one of the nobles was treating him and his father would make him think about why they'd done it instead of just letting him vent._

_James sat up straighter and thought it over. He had to be reminded to think things like this over, because he had a very black and white way of looking at the world. He had an idea of what was wrong and what was right and it was hard for him to remember that other people's view of what was right and wrong could be different from his._

_"The other side won't stop fighting if we do. Innocent people will get hurt and it's our responsibility to make sure that doesn't happen." His father nodded. "Well how do we get them to stop fighting then?"_

_"We need to give them something that they want," The king said, leaning forward and resting his forearms on the table. "That's how you stop every fight. Someone has to concede, and someone gets something they want. If you're smart about it, you don't give more than you get."_

_"Well what do they want?" The men that they'd been fighting seemed like monsters from stories when he was a boy, spilling blood for the fun of it if he was to believe the stories he heard from the soldiers that came through the castle._

_"You have to remember that your enemy is just like you, James. They are men and they are mortal. They need food and water and shelter and love, same as everyone else. They chose to pick a fight that they must know that they are incapable of winning and for that, there has to be a compelling reason. There are two things you need to instill in a group of men that you want to fight a losing battle for you. Fear and hope. They need to fear for their lives, for the lives of those that they love, fear those they fight, perhaps fear you a little._

_But without hope, the fear would be stifling. They need to hope that things will get better, that they can make a difference and improve the lives of their countrymen even if they lose their own life in the process." He cleared his throat and tapped his fingers along his desk. "I've been trying to come up with a way to end this war since it started. Unnecessary bloodshed should be avoided at all costs." His father's eyes were tired, heavy with the burden he wore as a crown. "But to do that, we have to work out what the other sides wants."_

_James, remembering that his enemies were just as human as he was, thought about it. "Well they can't want to fight either, right?"_

_"I would have a hard time believing that a majority of the men fighting actually want to be fighting." He agreed. "But the leaders of their side, they have their own separate reasons for leading their people into war. They have made us an enemy for reasons that work for the masses and kept their true reasons to themselves. They say they want land that we have stolen, food that is supposed to be theirs, but it's never so simple."_

_That was a hard thing for James to grasp. In his world of black and white, he didn't like it when things weren't simple. He didn't like it when things were somewhere in the middle because then there was more room for him to be wrong about something._

_His father was right of course, there was no simple answer, but eventually they were able to come up with a solution that James hoped would work._

_It didn't work. Nor did the next seven ideas that they had. War wasn't easy, negotiating with frightened people wasn't easy and a lot of it lived in the grey area between right and wrong._

_And even though he was young, his father wanted to make sure that he understood how this worked, that he understood how all of it worked. He was there when his father spoke to the generals, when he spoke with the knights, with the soldiers, to those bereaved families that had lost people in the war. He was there when his father was drafting letters to the other side or when the king went to recruit more soldiers._

_He sat through it all, he listened when he needed to, and he gave his opinion when he thought he had something to add. And when the war was finally over, he was tired and relieved, and his father took him aside._

_"Remember how it felt to hold the hands of the widows. Remember how it felt to bury the children who suffered terrible fates. Remember the hollow faces of the men that did make it back. War always has a price and it is always high and hard to pay. Before you start a war, you must make sure it's worth the price you will pay."_

_James assured the king that he had nothing to worry about. James had no intention of starting a war in his lifetime and took to his diplomacy lessons with renewed vigor. James' goal was to have a peaceful kingdom throughout his rule. For his people to know more hope than fear, more contentment than desperation. He would never give a speech that called men and boys to arms if he could help it._

oOo

James stood before the camp, his palms sweating and the promise that he'd made to his father years ago fresh in his mind. His throat felt tight and a metallic taste was overtaking his mouth. Could he really do this? Could he stand up here and do something that he'd promised himself and his father that he'd never do?

Lily reached out and took his hand, stepping up so she was directly next to him. He wasn't sure if she was attempting to comfort him or if she was trying to show the people that she was with him on this. That they were standing together as one. He glanced over at her. They'd never stood together before now, not truly. Not in any way that mattered to either of them. For the first time since becoming king, he felt as though he wasn't in this alone. He had a partner, an equal; someone with whom he could share the burden and the responsibilities.

There was a tense silence stretching on since he'd stopped talking, and then, quite unexpectedly, someone started laughing. James turned to find Benjy, the man that had been showing Lily how to roast turnips, with his arms crossed over his shoulder and a large smile on his face. He held up a hand when he saw James was looking at him. "I apologize for laughing, I do, but it's just- well, this explains a lot."

There were a few mutters of consent and Lily muttered quietly, so only he could hear, "I told you we were terrible at blending in."

James couldn't disagree with her on that. They hadn't been able to do hardly anything for themselves, and whenever they tried to do something for the camp, they had to ask too many questions or watch someone else do it first for far longer than anyone should need to.

"You know a lot of us have a lot of reasons to be quite angry with you," The one-eyed man who James had only heard referred to as 'Moody' said, leaning against a walking stick. "What makes you think anyone is going to want to stand with you?"

"I know that you have every reason to be angry with me," He said, looking directly at Moody before letting his gaze wander across the crowd. "It was my job to protect you and I put my faith in the wrong people. And you can be angry with me until I give you a reason to feel otherwise. But just because you don't like me-"

"Some of us hate you," This from a dark eyed man called Bertram. Mary was standing next to him and nodded.

"You don't need to like me in order to know that if we don't do something, our situations are only going to get worse."

"Doesn't seem like things can get that much worse for you." Benjy stepped up next to Bertram and set his elbow on the other man's shoulder. "I mean you were the king and now you're sleeping not ten yards from where we all relieve ourselves." That got some laughs from the crowd and James tried to take a subtle breath.

"The longer we wait to push back against Riddle, the more people he'll send to this place." Lily said, and the crowd sobered quickly. "King James and I have made mistakes, we've trusted people we shouldn't have, we haven't payed close enough attention to things that should have given us some clue about the truth of what was happening, but we can't change what already happened. All we can do is look to the future and try to make things better." James' eyes were on her now, same as everyone in the crowd. She'd never given a speech in front of a crowd, but you couldn't tell by looking at her. She seemed calm and put together. The only thing tipping him off that she could be feeling differently was how tightly she was holding his hand.

"You have watched your neighbors get thrown from their homes, you've seen children orphaned and discarded. Families have been torn apart, friends have been lost; and that's not going to stop now that Tom Riddle sits on the throne of England." Her voice was clear and it carried throughout the forest. "What you're doing here is wonderful, what you've all been able to do for the hopeless and desperate is astounding, but you can't do it for the whole of England. We need to fight back, we need to take back what's ours!"

There was more murmuring from the crowd and James couldn't tell if it was in dissent or otherwise. But then Moody spoke again. "And are you standing there asking us to fight with a plan? Or is this just a call for unity?"

He couldn't say that he had a solid plan, because he didn't know how many people he had to work with, or what weapons they could gather, or if anyone here knew how to use a weapon. But he knew that he couldn't come up here without the semblance of a plan. "I have a plan. We take the outer cities first. Cut off his monetary supply, go after people like Avery and Dolohov and Rookwood," He listed more names that he'd heard since talking to them. "We take back the cities, collect whatever weapons we can in the process. Give control back over to the people who should be in control. And then, when we're ready, we go to the capital."

"He has more men." Someone countered. "Better trained too."

"We have something worth fighting for." James said, standing up straighter and squeezing Lily's hand. "This is not his home, these are not his lands. He doesn't get to come in here and take it form us. Not without a fight." He actually got a few cheers for that. He tried not to look too surprised. Sirius, who had been standing off to the side, leaning up against a tree since the start of James' speech, wasn't as skilled in schooling his emotions. He had called James ten times the fool. He had no faith that this would work.

"If we don't stop him, then there will be no reason for him to stop." James said, remember back to what his father had taught him. When you needed people to fight for you, when you needed desperate people to fight for you, you needed to motivate them with two things. Fear and hope. "He will keep taking and taking until there is nothing left for us, for our brothers and sister," Fear. "And he expects us to roll over and let him do it. He expects us to go quietly. We have two choices, we can either play this the way he wants us to," The shout of disagreement was loud that time and James almost smiled. "Or we can fight for our home. We can take back what is ours. Together." Hope.

More cheering.

oOo

Lily hadn't been expecting the tide to turn in their favor so quickly. It wasn't that the people in the camp were suddenly holding them up on a pedestal again, but their drive to fight for their land and livelihood back, took precedence over their desire to blame the situation on Lily and James.

Even Mary had stopped glaring so harshly by the end of James' speech. Though Lily didn't expect that to hold. Mary's grudge against Lily in particular seemed to have a more personal edge to it somehow.

They headed back to the hut hours afterward, both of them staying and talking to anyone who wanted to talk to them. Now that their identities were known, they had to make themselves accessible, they had to offer comfort and encouragement. Benjy had come up to Lily and laughed good-naturedly about how he thought it was strange that she hadn't known how to cook turnips over the fire. Lily laughed with him and nodded, joking about how she knew her lack of practical skills was going to raise some brows. She'd always been good at talking to people, it was one of the few responsibilities she had in the castle. Giving birth, hosting parties and accepting gifts from subjects who wanted to meet her.

And while Lily went and got Grace from Molly after the speech was over, and held her while talking to everyone, Harry stayed with the rest of the Weasleys, and when it got dark, Molly told her that she would take him back to her house for the night. Lily thanked her and kissed Harry goodnight. The little boy seemed excited at the prospect of a sleepover.

James closed the door to the hut and let out a long sigh, his hand jumping up to his hair. "That went over better than expected."

"It did." Lily agreed. "Though we knew they were going to want to fight. None of them want to stay here forever."

"Except our son perhaps." James grinned.

"Yes, except for him." She chuckled, laying a sleeping Grace into her bassinet.

James moved away from the door and started preparing for bed, "I feel like I can breathe again."

Lily looked over at him as he was pulling his tunic over his head and a blush spread over her cheeks. She turned back toward the bassinet and bit the tip of her tongue. "I- I understand that. It's definitely a relief that they didn't decide to run us off their land." She cleared her throat. Why was she still blushing? She'd seen more of James than just his chest before.

And then he was walking across the room. He stopped right behind her and she could feel his breath on the side of her neck. She kept her eyes on Grace, where she assumed he was looking as well.

"She's precious." He said, confirming her assumption. She felt his gaze turn to her. "Do you want help with your dress now that we don't have to try and pretend that we can do everything for ourselves." She laughed despite herself and then reached up to move her hair over her shoulder, which he took as a yes.

"I told Molly I'd take an extra dress if she had one." She said. "Before I left earlier. She said that she'd bring it out when she brought Harry but I think I'll head up there tomorrow morning so she doesn't have to."

"We're going to have to do something really nice for their family once we're back in the castle."

She nodded, trying to pretend that the feeling of his fingers unlacing her dress wasn't the cause of the heat rising to her cheeks. It was difficult to pretend that it wasn't the reason though, since it was rather chilly in the hut, and it wasn't as though anything else was happening.

"I'm glad that you're getting a new dress for yourself though." He pulled at the last of the ties and his fingertips brushed against her shoulders before he stepped back.

"Well it won't be new," Lily said, trying to make sure that her voice sounded normal. She shrugged out of his dress and let it fall to the floor, standing in her slip now. She picked up the mangled, dirty piece of cloth and folded it haphazardly. "But it'll be clean." She looked over at him and frowned. "You need clean clothes too."

"I'll figure something out tomorrow." He waved off her comment.

"I mean, I feel like we'll have to look the part now that we've told everyone who we are- well not the part as it was, but…" She walked over to the mat and sat down, pulling the blankets up over her legs.

"I'll need armor. They all will." James got into the bed next to her. "I'm more concerned about that then making sure my tunic is clean." Lily shrugged, understanding that priority.

"What am I going to do?" She asked, the thought suddenly dawning on her. "I can't fight. I don't know how."

"There are other people that won't fight. You won't be alone."

"I know I won't, but what's my role here if I'm not fighting? What is my job? As their Queen?"

James took in a deep breath through his nose and looked over at her, "I don't think you actually want me to tell you. You'll have to work it out as we go, same as we've been doing everything else since we've left the castle." Lily looked over at him, realizing just how small the bed roll was. When she wasn't looking, she could feel his shoulder touching hers, but now that she was looking at him, the distance between their faces was just mere inches.

"You'll help me though, right? To work it all out?" James smiled at her and the heat rose back to her cheeks. She was glad for the dim lighting, hoping that would prevent him from noticing that her skin was reacting strangely to him tonight.

"Of course I will." He promised.

"Right. Because we're doing this together." She looked down at her hands. And then his hand was on her chin, turning her face back toward him.

"We are doing this together." He said, his voice soft.

"I know." She nodded, wringing her hands together in her lap. His thumb brushed her jawline and then his hand fell away and he scooted down the bed before laying down. She did the same.

"Tomorrow is a new day." He sighed, settling in, pulling the blanket up to his chin. Lily looked at his silhouette for a moment and then sighed, pulling the blanket up to her chin as well.

"A new day." She repeated, liking the feeling that came along with that thought. She rolled onto her side and smiled to herself. Things seemed as though they were finally going to work in their favor. They didn't have everyone agreeing with them of course, but they had enough that it was a start.

And the two of them were getting along as well. Apart from the argument they'd had about James being jealous, they hadn't argued much at all. Her anger was subsiding and something new and soft was taking its place. She wasn't sure what it was yet, but it had her blushing and holding his hand far more than she ever had.

The hut was quiet for a moment while she contemplated everything that had happened that day, turning it over in her mind. And then a thought popped into her mind and she acted on it before she could convince herself not to. She reached back behind her, her hand trailing over James' chest until she reached his hand. He quickly wrapped his fingers around her's, but that wasn't quite what she was looking for. She gave a slight tug. When he didn't do anything, she tugged again and this time he rolled toward her, letting her bring his arm over her side.

He froze for a minute, but not long enough to let Lily doubt herself. Soon he had both his arms wrapped around her and he was pulling her up against his chest, burying his face in her hair. He held her tightly for a long while, and she could feel every rise and fall of his chest against her back. His heart beat crashed against hers and that soft feeling spread and grew all the way out to her fingertips.

He sighed and relaxed against her after a moment. Lily lay there and listened to the sound of his breathing until it was slow and even and when her eyelids were too heavy, and she drifted off as well.

That night, she dreamed of sun soaked hills, bare feet running through the grass, the smiling faces of her family and it all felt familiar. She felt completely secure and safe wrapped up in James' arms and for the first time in weeks, her sleep wasn't haunted by everything that they had lost, but filled with everything that they had to gain.

oOo

When James woke the next morning, his face was still buried in Lily's hair. She'd gotten up in the night a few times to tend to Grace, but she'd folded back into him every time she came back to bed, and he'd pulled her close every time.

It had been dark when they went to bed the previous night, and he was quite sure that she hadn't noticed him blushing when he'd let his fingers linger too long on her back while undoing her laces, or when he offered to help her undress in the first place. He'd wanted to suck the words back in as soon as he'd let them out, but then she'd just laughed and moved her hair to the side, so he could help.

If he said something stupid when she woke up, there would be no hiding his flush. Though he hoped he would remember how to speak to human beings by the time she woke up. He didn't know why, but last night his tongue had felt clumsy in his mouth and he had to work to get through a conversation normally. He'd never gotten tongue tied around anyone before. He'd just given a speech in front of the entire camp just hours before that but talking to Lily...

The only explanation he had was that he felt like he was seeing her for the first time.

Before they fled, there were bits and pieces of Lily that he knew. He knew that she didn't like cooked carrots because she always pushed them to the side of her dish when they ate dinner together. He knew that she spent a good deal of time reading in the library, because he'd spent an equal amount of time unable to go to the library since he'd been avoiding her. He knew that she liked to laugh, because even though he had only recently begun to make her laugh, he'd heard her laugh many many times in the castle. She took two sugars in her tea, she only had dimples in her smile when it was forced, she liked to wear yellow…

But he hadn't truly met his wife until last week. The fearsome and stubborn woman who wasn't afraid to speak her mind, even if it upset those around her. The girl who spun stories of magic to entice her child to finish his supper. He knew that she didn't like to ask too much of people, not for fear that they'd say no, but for fear that they wouldn't. She didn't complain when things were hard, she didn't cry when things didn't go their way, she simply held her head high and tried to work to find a way to fix things.

She'd found a way to tether him to the ground this past week or so. He knew if she hadn't snapped at him that first time, if she hadn't called him out, things could have gone differently. People liked her, and he couldn't help but feel as though people liked him by association, at least here.

At home he'd never had to do much at all to win people's favor. He was born when it should have been impossible and that had been enough. He was the heir to the throne when they thought they wouldn't get one, and that was enough to make everyone love him.

And while they were here, she may have shared her concerns about not fitting in with him, but she was warm and grateful and kind and the people around her soaked it up. He believed that was why Molly had helped them more than she needed too, he believed that was why Remus went above and beyond for the both of them as well.

She stirred in his arms and he was drawn out of his thoughts. She hummed quietly and shuffled closer. He smiled against her hair and then reached up to trace his fingers down her arm.

There was still a slight chill in the air, not yet chased away by the morning sun, but James felt perfectly warm just then. "Are you awake?" He asked quietly, trying not to disturb the peace that had settled around them.

"Hmm." She responded, "But I'd rather not be." She rolled over so she was on her back and James looked down at her face now. "It's going to be a long day. I can feel it."

"You'll have something clean to wear though." James reminded her, smiling.

The corner of her mouth curved up and she nodded. "It's the small things really." She looked at him. "What will you be doing today? Arguing with Sirius some more?"

"Oh I'm sure the sod has found more than a few people to argue with him by now. Either against him or for him." He thought of Moody, wondering where his final thoughts had landed. Looking at the man, you would think that he would fight, but James knew better than to judge a man on his appearance. "But whatever Sirius's opinion, I'm sure that today will be full of a lot of talk about what our next step is. How we're going to acquire weapons and which city to attack first."

Her face crinkled in concern. "We've never been at war before."

"We've been at war for a while now, we just haven't known it." He rolled onto his back as well and ran a hand over his face.

"I suppose." She started playing with the hem of the blanket. "But you're going to go off and fight these men. Have you ever done that before?"

"I've been trained to," He said, though he couldn't say that he'd fought anyone outside of training or a tournament. His father had worked hard to gain peace before James took the throne, and James had worked to keep that peace. He'd been too busy watching his boarders though, and it was his own subjects that turned against him in the end. Men and women that he had trusted since he was a child had taken that trust and used it against him.

"Don't do anything… too brash." She said, and James narrowed his brow, turning his head to look at her again. She was still looking at the ceiling.

"Too brash?"

She sighed and looked over at him. "Just make sure that you come back." His expression softened, and he gave a small nod.

"You're worrying a bit prematurely. We don't have any definitive plans yet."

"I know," She pushed herself up, so she was sitting and ran a hand through her hair. "But you've got a group of people who are going to want to fight. I'm sure everything is going to continue happening too fast."

"I'll come back," He promised, his hand running up and down her spine. "I'll be careful."

oOo

Molly only had a small looking glass hung up on her wall above a wash basin, and Lily had been afraid to look into it until she'd scrubbed her face three times. Molly had sat her down when she'd come to get Harry and everything that Molly was giving them- which Lily still thought was too much. She'd sat her down and combed through her hair, getting rid of all the snarls and fashioning it up into a simple, yet elegant style.

"I thought about doing this yesterday before you got up in front of everyone," Molly said, her voice muffled by the hair pins she had between her lips. "But I figured it wouldn't hurt to have you looking like you were one of them when you got up there." She stood next to Lily as the young Queen studied her reflection in the small mirror.

It was strange how much she still looked like the girl from the palace. So much had changed, and she hadn't seen herself in almost two weeks, but she still looked the same. Without makeup, sure, but everything else was exactly the same.

She sighed and ran her hands down over her skirts. "Well yesterday went much better than we could have hoped for, so it was a good call." She looked down at the dress, a simple dark blue one that fit her much better than the gown she'd been wearing. It wasn't nearly as heavy either. It reminded Lily of the frocks that she and Petunia had worn as children as they raced through the groves behind their house.

"You look lovely," Molly said, reaching out and patting Lily's cheek. Lily smiled at her. Molly's children were all still young, but she was a mother through and through, and so she mothered everyone regardless of age. Lily couldn't have been more than ten years younger than her.

"Thank you. Are you sure that you don't want to keep this dress?"

"Hasn't fit me in years." Molly waved her comment away.

"Alright," Lily glanced back into the mirror once more and then walked toward the table. "I feel so much lighter now."

"Getting clean and running a brush through your hair will do that for a person." Molly smiled.

Lily had always taken pride in her appearance. When she was younger, her sister and mother would make sure of it, and then she was queen and she felt as though she always had to look her best. "Yes, that's probably true."

"You've just never been in need of a good washing." Molly smiled at her and Lily laughed.

"Well that's not true. My mum used to get so frustrated with me when I was a girl because I'd come home covered in mud. We lived on an orchard and my sister and I ran around without our shoes on most of the time, but one time I fell out of a tree that we'd been climbing and tore one of the sleeves off my dress completely on one of the branches, and then landed in a puddle." She brushed her hand over her left arm. "I still have a scar there." Her mother's reaction had actually been quite similar to Lily's when Harry had come home in a similar state. Though Lily of course, had had other dresses to wear and her mother hadn't been the one to clean her up.

Molly chuckled and shook her head. "Kids are all the same. You can dress them up in fancy clothes and tell them that they were born with a title, but they all just want to play in the mud." Lily smiled, wondering if James had ever played in the mud. His title was a bit more daunting than most, though he had once been too young to understand the gravity of it as Harry was now.

The back door opened rather abruptly and Lily turned to see Mary. Her face was flushed and her hair had little leaves stuck in it, most likely from coming through the purposefully dense brush at the edge of the woods. "Hestia has reopened her stitches for the third time now." She walked over to a shelf that held medical supplies and started rummaging about. "I'm starting to think that she's doing it on purpose."

"She's not doing it on purpose. She's just young and doesn't understand that it takes time to heal wounds like that."

"She's only a year younger than me, so unless you're calling her stupid as well as reckless…" She trailed off and started making a small pack of supplies that she needed.

Lily didn't think that the girl had noticed her sitting at the table, and was fine with that. Mary had always managed to intimidate her since she met her. And now that Mary knew who Lily was, her stares had only gotten harder. There was a brief exception last night after her and James had spoken to everyone, but Lily was sure that that wasn't going to last.

"You'll be checking on Moody as well, yes?" Molly asked, causing Mary to huff.

"I thought it was your day to check on him." She turned around, her eyes determinedly skipping over Lily as she looked toward Molly. Lily felt as though that was worse than glaring at her.

"Well I'm busy today, so You'll have to do it. Make sure his eye isn't getting infected-"

"You mean his eye socket." Mary corrected, and Lily remembered the man she'd seen with an eye patch and a rough face.

"Yes," Molly sighed patiently.

"Anyone else?"

"Benjy said that Scarlet's cough came back last night. Maybe pay them a visit as well." Mary hesitated there, the harsh look on her face softening.

"Did you hear it?" She asked.

Molly shook her head, "I'm hoping that it's nothing, just the concern of a paranoid father." Mary turned back to the shelf and kept putting together her pouch.

Lily sat there quietly, looking back and forth between the two women as they spoke of the injured and ill. Every day she was here she had to add another layer to this place, she learned of another few reasons to be worried about something. She'd heard concerns of the water in the small creek drying up, the food supply running low, being found was a constant threat hanging over their heads, but now this as well. They didn't have any actual healers here, just the practiced hands of Molly and her apprentice and whatever supplies they had been able to collect, which now that Lily was looking at the shelf and thinking about the number of people in the camp, it really wasn't all that much.

"Do you're usual rounds as well." Molly said,

Mary nodded, closed her bag and started toward the door.

"I'd like to go with you if that's alright." Lily stood up. She followed after Mary who had paused at the door but then pushed through after hearing Lily's request. Lily paused at the door, her fingers clenching into her skirts.

"I'll watch after Grace for you," Molly said, and Lily turned to see her daughter in Molly's arms. She looked at them for a moment and Molly nodded toward the door. "I've taken care of many babes, and she's going to get too far ahead if you keep waiting around."

Lily took that to mean that she thought it was a good idea for Lily to go with Mary and then nodded.

Mary was almost to the edge of the wood by the time Lily got out the door, "Wait!" She called out, but Mary seemed to move faster at that. Lily sighed and picked up her skirts so that she could move faster as well.

Perhaps it was because Mary hadn't expected Lily to chase after her, but she was able to catch up with her just past the edge. She reached out and touched the other girls shoulder with one hand and picked out a few leaves from her own hair with the other. "I understand that you're frustrated with me, but I'm going with you anyway."

"Of course you are. You're going to do whatever you want because you think you're entitled to do it." She didn't look at Lily, but Lily felt the intimidation slide away.

"These are my people and they're hurt and sick and I want them to know that I care," Lily said. "I want them to see that I'm here and that I'm with them,"

"You care now," Mary turned on her heel and Lily almost walked into her. "You care now that you're here and we're the only thing keeping you and your little family alive. You care now because you're forced to. You didn't care before, you didn't think about us at all."

Lily took a step back, her anger had her frozen in place for a moment as she took that in. She hadn't spent much time thinking about the people past the city limits. She relied on someone else to take care of them and trusted them to do so. She had no power in the castle anyway and didn't want to worry about things that she could do nothing about. She couldn't explain any of that to Mary though, she wouldn't understand and would only take it as confirmation that Lily hadn't cared before.

"I appreciate everything that is being done for myself and my family," Lily's fingers were curling into her skirts again. "And before I came here, I had no idea the conditions that people were being forced to endure. But I know now and I can't do nothing about it. I can't sit back and wait for someone else to fix things." She hoped that Mary would hear the truth in her words, that she would care that she was being truthful.

"Fine." Mary snapped. "You want to see the effects of your negligence? That's fine with me." She turned back around and started off toward a hut that was on the other side of the camp than Lily's.

She knocked on the door and Lily stood behind her, waiting with her hands behind her back. "Hestia! I'm here to stitch you up. Again."

There was shuffling inside and then a shorter young woman with hair like a dandelion opened the door. "I told her that she should let me do the firewood." She sighed, stepping aside to let Mary in. Lily quickly followed.

"Morning, Gwen." Mary nodded and then walked over to where Hestia was sitting on a stump. They had more stuff in their hut than Lily did. A table with stumps as chairs around it, to actual beds on the opposite wall. "Hestia." Mary's voice was still hard.

"You know, you can shout at me all you want, but I'm still going to do my best to pull my weight in this place. Whether or not I open my stitches again is none of my concern."

"And when I have to chop off your arm because it's finally gotten too infected for me to heal, then who's concern is it going to be?" Hestia bit her lip and pushed some of her equally wild hair back away from her face. Gwen handed Mary a bowl of water and then looked up at Lily.

"Your highness," She nodded. "What can we do for you?" Hestia looked at Lily too, her eyes wide. Mary scoffed at Gwen's use of a title.

"I'm still trying to meet everyone in the camp." Lily said, taking a seat on a stump next to Hestia. "How did you get this wound?" She asked, looking at the deep gash that ran from the top of her shoulder to the bend of her elbow. The girls shared a look between them, and with the similar expression on their round faces, Lily wondered if they were sisters.

"One of the sheriff's guards gave it to me." Hestia looked down at the wound on her arm and hissed when Mary pushed a needle through the tender skin without warning. Lily didn't flinch away from the woman's pain, though she'd never had a strong stomach when it came to this sort of thing. Blood she could handle, but the pain that came with the blood was what made her stomach turn. But she wasn't going to show any kind of weakness when Mary was sitting so close.

"What town were you from?" Lily asked, wondering if she would prefer Lily keep distracting her or if she didn't want to talk to Lily at all, like Mary. Either way, Lily wasn't going to give up. She was good at keeping up one sided conversations.

"Nottingham. Most of us are from Nottingham. Hogsmeade too, but not as many got out of Hogsmeade. They say that Riddle himself was there." Gwen shuddered and started rubbing the pads of her fingers over her knuckles. Her expression softened as she looked at Lily. "Was he in the castle?"

Lily sat up straighter. She'd done her very best not to remember that night. And though flashes of it couldn't help but resurface in her dreams, in her waking hours she had more than enough to keep her mind busy, to keep herself from letting the horrors surface. But these people had been through something terrible and the blame wasn't entirely hers, but she wasn't innocent either. They deserved the truth.

"I didn't see him if he was." She said, trying not to fidget. Her toes wiggled in her shoes, but at least her hands were still. "I have to assume that he was. That's where the throne is, that's what he was after." She hadn't asked Remus or James if they'd seen him, and she didn't know if they would have offered up that information to her unless she asked. After all, she hadn't offered up any information unprompted. They'd almost lost everything that night, but managed to escape with only their lives.

"There were masked men," She continued. "They wore these horrible skull masks. I never thought about why they would wear them. Maybe they did it to scare us, or confuse us. Perhaps to show solidarity or so that they were all equals, indistinguishable from one to the next… but I think it's improbable that a man would agree to wear a mask if he doesn't know that he's doing something shameful." She liked the idea that they hadn't wanted James and herself to know who they were.

When she looked up at the girls, even Mary was looking back at her. There was an unreadable emotion shinning through her look- a look that was no longer a glare Lily noted.

"They should be ashamed." Hestia snapped. "Look at what they did to us." Lily didn't miss how she'd included Lily in that.

"We'll come out on top." Lily said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "And we'll get to smile again without everything feeling too heavy and they'll have to live with the decisions that ruined so many lives. Their own included."

They didn't speak for the rest of the time they were there. Mary patched her up, gave her some fresh bandages so she could change them tomorrow and then they left. They were on their way to the next house when Mary turned to her, stopping in the middle of the path.

"You have fire in you." She said quietly, and Lily narrowed her brow. "It's not just pretty things and parties to you. I didn't see it at first."

"My people are my responsibility."

Mary cocked her head to the side, a smile lacking hard edges and condensation came over her face, "Yes, but let's not pretend that that way of thinking isn't newer to you." She started walking again. "You had different problems a week ago, and these people were not even on your radar." That was true, but Lily didn't want to say it aloud. "It's alright now, I think I'm starting to understand. You're here now. It doesn't make up for everything, but it doesn't count for nothing either."

oOo

Harry, who had hardly been around the last week, had now taken up a permanent place at James' side. When James' arms fell to his sides, Harry gripped them firmly in his own small hands, and when James walked through the camp, he scampered after him.

James had asked him where Ron and the twins were, but Harry had shrugged, uninterested in his friends for the time being. He hadn't spent much time with James other than dinner every night, and apparently, he just wanted to be his father's shadow. James, who had war meetings to set up, couldn't find it in his heart to shake his shadow either.

"Dad, where are we going?" He asked, clutching the hem of James' tunic as they walked back through the middle of town. They'd past by the main firepit many times in the last hour and Harry was losing his patience.

"I have many people to talk to today, I'm just trying to work out a time for us all to meet. I'm also looking for Sirius." He muttered that last part, looking around again. There had been no sign of him all morning. Though Regulus had made an appearance, shook James' hand and smiled even. After all, a revolution was what he wanted. James couldn't figure out why Sirius was so against it.

Well that wasn't true. James wasn't chomping at the bit to take these men and women into battle. He knew that it needed to be done, but he had already failed them once and he didn't want to put himself in a position where he could fail them again, where he could get them killed

There wasn't another option though, and he needed Sirius to see that because he was an accomplished swordsman and he could help James train some of these people, he could help them fight off Riddle's men.

He felt something burn in his veins as he looked around, once again faced with the crushing realization that the lives of all of these men would soon be in his hands. He would be marching them into a battle that they weren't prepared for, once that James had hoped that he'd never have to lead. His father's warning from years ago echoed in his head, rattling around.

You must make sure that it's worth the price you will pay.

Harry tugged at his sleeve. "Can we go and play in the river?" He asked, and James looked into his big green eyes, reaching down to tousle his unmanageable hair. He knew that his own hair looked the same now that he had nothing to tame it with.

It had to be worth it, whatever the price. Because Harry couldn't grow up in a world where everyone was in pain and fearful of what comes next. He couldn't let his daughter grow up under a roof that would leak on her every time that it rained. His son would sit on the throne of England one day and Grace would be introduced to the country as their princess.

"I'm a bit too busy to play just now," He said, kneeling down so they were eye level.

"Alright, let me know when you're not busy anymore." He shrugged, grabbing his hand again and looking around the camp. "We'll play in the river later."

James smiled down at him, "Of course." But first, he had to turn men to soldiers.


	8. The Hitch

_"In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable."_

_― Dwight D. Eisenhower_

The next couple of weeks went by very fast. James and some of the other men had found a clearing behind the camp and had set up training grounds, and he was there from sunup to sundown.

They used what they had to train, so it was mostly lumber and rocks. Many of the men had knives, not great knives, but James wasn't complaining. He taught them how to throw them so they stuck a target from far away. They used rocks to hone their aim as well. There was only so much they could do to build muscle however, seeing as how there wasn't a whole lot to eat, and if you weren't eating then you couldn't get much stronger.

Sirius had yet to come around, refusing to say anything at all to James, but he'd started hanging around the training grounds a few days earlier and James was starting to think that he'd realized he was wrong, even if he wouldn't admit it.

James still planned to get him to admit it though.

He walked through the door of the hut after dark, the lantern now sitting on a small table that was surrounded by stumps for chairs. Lily and their children were on the bed roll, Harry leaning over Grace and making silly faces at her, trying to get her to laugh. Grace may have been too young for that, but Lily was laughing at his efforts. He stood in the doorway for a moment and watched the three of them.

Lily caught sight of him before he walked in all the way and smile at him, a smile that he was quick to return.

It was hard to believe that they'd been here for almost a month now, that Grace had been with them for almost a month. She seemed to grow a little more every day, and even though he'd been working to train the men in the camp at a pace that might have been relentless, James couldn't help but think he would have missed more of her if they were still in the castle. He didn't remember noticing all these little changes wish Harry.

"Good evening," Lily stood up from the bed, keeping an eye on Harry as she walked across the room. "We saved you some dinner. It should still be warm, I left it as close to the lamp as I could." She uncovered a plate of something James was sure included turnips and he walked over to take a seat.

"Thank you," He said, picking up his fork, ready to eat another bland meal and only complain about it in his head. If Lily didn't like the food, he didn't know, so he could keep his thoughts to himself as well. He'd never had to be this grateful before. It was taxing at times, though he liked the idea that he was setting a good example for Harry.

Lily ran a hand through his hair before walking back over to the bed. He tilted his head down and smiled into his dish. He'd seen the way Lily acted around the people that she cared about. She was always touching them; a hand on Remus' arm when she was talking earnestly with him, picking twigs from Molly's hair after they walked back through the foliage wall, her fingers tracing down the edge of Harry's face when she noticed how tired he was. It felt nice to be included in that list of people. She cared about him and it made him feel like he was some kind of inexperienced twit of a thirteen-year-old.

He didn't know what the rules were, how much he could say or do, he didn't know how to bring it up either, since a majority of what they talked about lately had just been about the war, the camp, and what they were going to do about it all. Maybe he could change that up tonight. He didn't have any pressing news for her and he hoped that she didn't have anything of the sort for him either.

Harry quickly climbed up on the stump next to James and launched into stories about what he'd done that day. Apparently, there had been a dragon for him and his friends to fight off down by the creek today. James wouldn't have been surprised if that game had been Harry's idea, as his imagination had been running wild since they'd been out here. He didn't know if it was just the freedom to have an imagination and run around with kids his own age, or if it was Lily's bedtime stories to blame, but James loved seeing his son's face light up as it did when he spoke of the games they played.

Harry's eyes were drooping before James had managed to finish his dinner and he smiled fondly at him.

"Why don't you go and lay down," He said, nodding toward his bed. "I'll come and tuck you in when I'm finished."

"Alright." Harry hopped down, his face stretching to accommodate a yawn. "Fighting dragons is hard work. And we'll have to do it again tomorrow."

"After you take a bath," Lily spoke up from where she was tending to Grace. "You and your father could use one."

James looked over at her with a narrowed brow. "Just what are you trying to say, dear?"

"You stink, dad." Harry answered for Lily. James whirled around to look at Harry, who only shrugged. "It's the truth." And then Lily was laughing behind him and James shook his head.

"Well so do you then," James nodded at Harry. "If she thinks you need a bath too."

"I told you already, I was fighting a dragon today. Of course, I smell. Dragons are smelly." He shook his head as though he were exasperated with his father and James could hear Lily's quiet laughter behind him again.

"Right, how could I forget." James finished off his dinner and then pushed the dishes up to where Lily and Harry's were. He stood up and walked over to Harry's cot. "Goodnight, my son. Sweet dreams." He knelt down and pulled Harry's blanket up around him before bending over and kissing his forehead.

"Goodnight, dad." He sighed, closing his eyes and curling up under his blanket. James ruffled his hair and then pushed himself up.

If he were honest, he was dead on his feet too. Curling up and falling asleep immediately sounded awfully good.

He turned to Lily, who was looking at him as she cradled Grace to her chest. "You want to hold her before we put her in her bassinet?" She asked.

James smiled and walked over. "It's mean to keep her awake just so I can hold her, but I'll put her to bed."

"She doesn't know one way or the other. And it's not as though she's particularly fussy." Lily said as she handed her off.

"Well let's not sound too sure of ourselves, you might jinx it."

"I don't believe in jinxes."

"Well now you're definitely going to jinx it." He grinned as he walked to the bassinet.

"Is that how it works?"

"I think it might be."

"I thought spinning stories was my thing."

"I thought we could share it." He turned over his shoulder and grinned at her. She rolled her eyes and stood up to get ready for bed. She had two dresses now that she alternated between, she was wearing the green one today. He liked the green one, it seemed to make her eyes brighter, bring out the smattering of light freckles that she had across her cheeks and on her shoulders.

She didn't wear it as often as the blue one though, because she needed help with the laces.

Which may have been another reason that James liked it. He set Grace in her bassinet and turned to help her as she pulled her hair over her shoulder. He didn't wait for her to ask anymore, it was as though they had their own system of doing things now, they'd fallen into a routine with the kids and each other and they were comfortable with it.

When he was done with her laces, he moved to the other side of the bed and started getting ready for bed himself.

"It'll be strange." Lily said out of the blue.

"What will be strange? Me telling stories?"

She let out a huff of laughter and shook her head. "No, if we go back to the castle, it'll be strange."

James narrowed his brow. "Do you not want to-"

"Of course I want to. Beyond the fact that it will be far more comfortable, we also have a duty to the country- but no, I just meant that it'll be strange. Here, everything and everyone I care about is about an arm's length away. If I want to check on Grace, she's right here… Harry crawls into bed with us every morning and tells me his made-up dreams," She smiled as she pulled back the blanket and got into bed.

James remembered thinking that the castle was too big when he was a small child. He had woken up one night from a nightmare and had wanted his mother, but her room was no where near his, and venturing out into the corridor after the dream he'd had was more terrifying then staying in bed alone.

"We can rearrange things when we get back." He said after a moment, folding his clothes and setting them aside before he got onto the mat as well. He put his arm out after he'd gotten comfortable and she shuffled over. He quite liked having her no more than an arms-length away.

"Do you want to?" She asked, tugging the blanket up over them. "Or are you humoring me?"

He looked down at her. Perhaps he should say some of the things he's been thinking out loud, because even though they all seemed obvious to him, she seemed quite oblivious. "I want to." He said, reaching over with his free arm and taking her hand. "I like having my family close at hand too."

She hadn't been expecting that last part there, even though again, James hadn't thought it had warranted being said. Clearly, he had been mistaken. He couldn't be sure in the dark, but the way she was trying to hide her face, well that normally meant that she was blushing.

He breathed in through his nose, trying to find the right words. "I don't want to go back to how things were." His voice was soft.

"I don't want to go back to how things were either," She said, though this wasn't much of an admission. He knew that she'd never been okay with how things had been.

"I know," He said, but then immediately wondered if perhaps he shouldn't have gone with a different response. "I mean, I know that you weren't happy before, that I didn't- that we-" It felt like it was all too much to boil down to a few words. "I know that it's not the life you wanted." He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to collect his thoughts.

"We'll figure it all out when we get back." She said, her hand tightening around his.

"Does that mean you don't want to talk about it now? Or are you giving me an out?" He asked. "Because I don't want an out."

"I just don't think that talking this in circles is going to get us anywhere." She sighed. "Things are different now. I think we should just leave it at that for now."

If he'd had anything concrete to say, he might have disagreed. But he didn't know what he wanted to say, or even what he  _should_ say. So he just nodded.

"When you were little, did you ever think you'd be queen?" He asked, trying to sway them back to his original plan of just talking to her about nothing too heavy.

She chuckled and looked up at him, "Actually, when I was fourteen I told my sister that I was going to marry you." James raised his brow, because of all the things he'd learned about Lily, her being opportunistic was not one of them. Nor did she seem the type to fancy someone from afar.

"Oh?"

Lily smiled and shook her head. "Petunia was all bent out of shape because we were in town when the royal carriage went by- you were on horse though, not in the carriage- anyway, I wasn't wearing any shoes and my sister was completely embarrassed and so when we were walking home I was giving her a hard time about it. Called her an old maid too I believe." James snorted.

"You told your sister that you were going to marry me, simply to get a rise out of her?"

She shrugged the shoulder that wasn't tucked up against James. "I said a lot of things for no other reason than to get a rise out of my sister."

James thought that over for a moment and then nodded. "Alright, I think I can understand that. She's married to Earl Vernon Dursley?"

Lily chuckled, muffling the noise in his chest. "Yes, and you should have seen her preen about when she got the title of Countess."

James was laughing now too. "She must have been beside herself when you actually did become Queen."

Lily calmed a bit, "She didn't think it was going to happen. When I got your mum's letter inviting me up to meet with you, Petunia didn't think there was a chance in hell that you would even tolerate me. Somehow she got it into her head that women shouldn't share their opinions with other people. Which was never something my father tried to enforce or anything.

So it took a long time for it to sink in. For her to realize that it was really happening. And when she realized that it was happening... well she wasn't outright furious, but I could see it all simmering."

"Because she was an old maid?"

"Right. Two years your senior. Probably would have argued with my mum about why she had me second if provoked."

"You didn't provoke her?"

"Mum would have said it was unbecoming. And since she was a ball of nerves, I didn't want to aggravate her mood that much. She was from a family of merchants, so dealing with all the lords and ladies and nobility was never something she thought she'd be doing." She looked up at him and narrowed her brow. "They probably got out of the city, right? I mean they lived at the edge anyway, and there isn't anything near them that anyone would have wanted."

This wasn't the first time she'd worried aloud about her family's well being. James wished that he had an answer for her, he wished that he knew where they were and what happened to them, because he knew what it was like to lose his family and he didn't want her to be wondering if she had or not.

"Your parents house is fairly far from the castle, and not on a main road. I'm sure they had time to get out safely." He wasn't sure of anything, but hope was better than nothing.

She nodded and tucked herself back into his chest. He pulled her a bit closer and rested his chin on the crown of her head. "It's going to be soon, isn't it?"

Somehow, he knew what she meant without her elaborating. "A week at most." He said quietly. He felt her tense against him. "I can't just keep training them."

"I know, but are they ready?"

"As ready as they'll ever be without proper weapons. All they had were crossbows and knives. Sirius and Remus and I are the only ones with swords, though a few other men had shown promise, so if they were able to get more swords, that number would increase."

"Will Sirius go with you?"

James reached up and ran his hand over his eyes. "I hope so. But he hasn't said anything yet."

"You should try talking to him again. Just the two of you maybe. He's got quite the reputation here in camp, and it could just be that he doesn't want to ruin that."

"How would fighting ruin that?" James asked.

"He saved all these people. He gave them a safe place to hide, to  _live_. If he backs a plan that gets some of them- some of them killed, then he's no longer their savior."

"He knows they can't stay here."

"He has to. But that doesn't mean that it's easy to reconcile with."

"Alright, I'll talk to him."

"Good." She let out a yawn and then hummed. "Goodnight, James."

Without thinking about it, James turned his head and placed a kiss on her hairline, "Goodnight, Lily."

oOo

It was Harry who found Sirius the next morning, not James.

The two of them were walking back from bathing in the creek when Harry, his hair still dripping water all over his tunic and his feet bare, starts laughing and skipping. James looked down at him and followed his gaze to where Sirius was leaning against a tree, eating an apple. He appeared to have been overlooking the camp, but Harry had captured his attention with his laughter.

"Any more tips on how to take down a dragon?" Harry asked, rushing up to Sirius's side and tugging on his trousers. James narrowed his brow and looked up at Sirius, who was looking at Harry with a look like he'd just been caught doing something he shouldn't.

"I'm afraid I gave you all my good tips yesterday." He said, taking a rather large bite of the apple.

"You know more," Harry accused, still tugging at Sirius. James stopped in front of them, finally having caught up. "You have to know more. You told us that you've seen dragons. Norwegian Ridgebacks and Romanian Longhorns!" Maybe Lily wasn't the only one fostering his imagination.

"You've seen real dragons, eh?" James grinned. "Quite a feat to see a dragon and live to tell the tale."

Harry looked up at his father, looking about as embarrassed as a three-year-old can look. "He's seen more than one dragon, dad. And he's fought them too."

"You had a suit of fireproof armor then, I take it." Sirius looked at James through narrowed eyes, like he wasn't quite sure what angle he was playing at. Though James didn't need an angle to entertain his son. Harry looked excitedly back to Sirius for confirmation.

"Yeah, I had fireproof armor."

James nodded. "I know your mum's dad used to have a fireproof shield." He said, looking at Harry. "Has she told you about that yet?" Harry shook his head. "Why don't you run back to the hut and ask her about it."

"Did granddad hunt dragons too?" He asked, looking like he was going to start vibrating.

"I'm not going to tell your mum's stories for her. Go and ask!" He waved Harry away, who needed very little encouragement after learning that he was descended from potential dragon hunters. Then he turned to Sirius and nodded his head back toward the creek. "Why don't we take a walk."

"I'm not going to bathe with you." Sirius muttered.

"Well there goes that plan," James rolled his eyes and shot Sirius a look.

"Look, about the dragon thing, the kids kept asking questions about my sword-"

"I'm not mad that you told my three-year-old you fight dragons. He loves stories."

"He's only three?"

"Same as Ron."

"I thought Ron was four." James shook his head.

"Not till the end of winter."

"Oh. And Harry?"

"Next summer."

"And why are we going on a walk?"

"So we can talk about some things." He shrugged. "Whether or not you're going to be fighting with us, for example." Sirius scoffed. "I don't know what that means, Sirius." He looked over at the other man, who now had his arms crossed over his chest.

"Of course I'm going to fight with you." He said as though James were stupid for doubting that.

"No," James shook his head. "You can't saw it like that. You haven't been to the training grounds, you haven't said anything to anyone other than to tell us that you think fighting is the wrong choice." He shook his head.

"Well I think you're stupid for inciting all this, but I'm not going to leave these people to fight alone."

"They're not going to be alone." James muttered.

"Well most of them don't know how to fight, not really." He shrugged. "And I can't leave them with just you and Remus to protect them all."

"And your brother, he's quite good with a bow."

"Not as good as I am."

"Another thing I might know if you hadn't been pouting around the woods and avoiding me."

"Just because I haven't spoken to you, doesn't mean I'm avoiding you. I've spoken too a good number of people. And I haven't spoken to a good number more. There are a lot of people here, and I don't find you any more important than anyone else. Rosie is probably the most important."

"The barkeep?" He narrowed his brow. "Are you trying to insult me on purpose now?"

"No." He shrugged.

James ran a hand through his hair. "Alright, so what city do you suggest that we go to first?" He asked by way of moving the conversation along. He didn't want to let it settle too much because Sirius was already being snarky.

"I think you're planning on it being Nottingham, yes? But that would be a mistake. Avery has quite a few men and they're all trained, and they have weapons that aren't made of sticks." He sighed and shook his head. "We should go to Godric's Hollow first."

"Godric's Hollow?" He asked, because Sirius was right, Nottingham had been at the top of everyone's list.

"Yes. They have an armory there, it's a smaller town, and people are in desperate need of help there too." Sirius said. "If we take the city, then we can take all the weapons and be better prepared for taking the other cities."

James didn't know that there was an armory in Godric's Hollow. He knew that there was a stronghold somewhere in the area, but he hadn't been to concerned with remembering where the kingdom had weapons stored up until he was thrown out of his castle. He looked at Sirius. "How do you know about the armory?"

Sirius shrugged. "I was in the army. I know a lot of things."

James nodded, remembering what he'd said the day that James had arrived here. Remus had also been in the army though and he hadn't known about Godric's Hollow. "Were you high ranking?"

"I was a nobleman's son, so," He held out his hand as if to say that should be answer enough. And it was. Of course he'd been high ranking if he was a lord's son. James still wasn't sure why he would know of an armory that was so far inland, it had no purpose other than peace of mind. They would have to be invaded for it to be of any real use. And James supposed they had been invaded, just from within.

"Alright, well I haven't ever been to the armory in Godric's Hollow. It was never a very functional place to keep weapons when most of our disputes are to the east." James tapped his fingers against his arm and started pacing, trying to remember anything he could about the place. "We don't know if Riddle knows about it-"

"He does." Sirius interrupted.

James looked over at him and narrowed his brow. "You can't know that."

"It's how I know that it's there." Sirius looked down at the tips of his shoes and started digging his toe into the soft dirt near the edge of the creek.

James shook his head and closed his eyes for a moment. "That doesn't make sense."

"Sure it does. You've met my family a few times, yes? They weren't pleasant people."

"You're saying they sided with Riddle?" A sharp nod. "But you and Regulus-"

"I got him out. He was young and stupid. He was angry with me after it all went down, he blamed me for what happened to our parents and shit."

"He still seems angry with you." James probably shouldn't have said that and clamped his mouth shut after he had let it slip out.

"Sure," Sirius muttered, still kicking at the dirt. "But for different reasons now. He saw what was happening to all these people," He nodded in the direction of the camp. "He's a smart kid. Sympathetic. Kind even. Sometimes. It didn't take him long to realize that Riddle was behind all of this and that the people who supported Riddle didn't give a shit about them. He's mad at me now because I'm mad at him. Because we've been through a lot, because there's no easy way to fix anything." He shrugged a shoulder and then leaned over to pick up a couple of rocks. He tossed one into the creek. "Your letters always seemed so goddamn cheerful." He threw another one, with more force this time.

James couldn't think of anything to say about any of this. He wished Lily was here. Sirius didn't like Lily, but she was definitely the more compassionate one. She would know what to say. "What do my letters have to do with anything?" They hadn't talked to one another in years. 

Sirius glanced at him and then looked back at the creek. "I mean, it was clear that you were lonely, but you were still happy. I stopped writing you back when I started getting more frustrated then excited to get one of your letters."

James' hand was in his hair again. "I don't know what that means. Or what it has to do with what's going on now."

"I just don't want you to think that I'm some… some thick, arse-hat."

"I don't think that." James said quickly, taking a step toward him. "I can see what you've done for all of these people. I can tell that things have been difficult for you."

"Difficult," Sirius smirked and threw another rock. "That's a simple way of putting it."

And then he just started talking,  _explaining_ himself even though he didn't need to. He told him how their mum had always favored Regulus, how their dad never had time for either of them. He told him how he'd joined the war effort not because he'd wanted to, but because his father had said that it would benefit them all. He'd met Riddle shortly after that.

He told James that he'd been used as an information mule, because no one suspected a sixteen-year-old kid to be traveling around with highly sensitive, treasonous information. He hadn't even known exactly why kind of information that he'd been carrying around. At first he'd thought that his father was funding the other side of the war. It took him too long to realize that what he was delivering had nothing to do with the current war.

He'd confronted his parents after that. Told them that he didn't want anything to do with starting a civil war, or overthrowing the king. He looked over at James, silent for a moment. "I wanted to write to you. But there was no reason for you to believe me, no reason you'd believe me over all the other nobles who hadn't spent the last few years ignoring you. I was afraid it'd get me killed. Especially since I'd committed treason already."

And he went on, telling James about how Riddle had slowly and carefully gained the confidence and coffers of a vast number of noblemen. And then there had been an attack on a nearby village. They made it look like a raid, and they took everything and killed many so that it didn't seem odd that a nobleman that had been passing through had wound up dead too. He'd found out their plan and was planning on telling James. 

That had been the last straw for Sirius, who woke Regulus up in the middle of the night and they ran. Regulus had been reluctant of course, and then furious when they found out that Riddle had turned on their parents, taking their sons' desertion as an act of betrayal.

It was a lot of information to take in, some parts much worse than anything James had been thinking. James wasn't entirely sure why Sirius had trusted him with everything.

"I didn't want you to keep hearing bits and pieces from other people. You'd have gotten the wrong idea and thought I was untrustworthy." Sirius tucked his hair back away from his face and bent over to pick up more rocks to toss in the creek.

James kept quiet, not sure that Sirius having told the truth made him trustworthy. After all, he had just admitted to treason.

Sirius looked over at him. "I should have done something sooner, that's what you're thinking, isn't it?" He asked, his voice gaining that edge that it'd had since James had arrived.

"Of course I think you should have done something sooner." James narrowed his brow and looked out at the water. If someone had warned James that something was going on, then this entire mess might have been avoided.

"Well you should have done something sooner too," Sirius snapped. "It was your job to pay attention to the kingdom. I was just a kid doing what his father told him to do." He chucked a rock downward, it bounced off the ground and onto the other side of the creek.

James sighed shifted from one foot to the other, "Alright," He wanted to argue the point further, but he could tell that this was something that Sirius felt guilty about. He may have been trying to pass the blame onto James and Orion Black, but James could see the weight that he carried on his own shoulders. "We're not going to get anywhere if we keep fighting. Let's go and find Moody. I've been planning with him, he was a war general once upon a time,"

"That's it? That's all you have to say?" Sirius looked surprised, and James realized that he may have been expecting a fight, which would explain why he had been so rough around the edges from the start.

"It's a lot to process." James shrugged. "But you did what you could, and now we're going to work together to do even more. Right?" He started toward the path, pausing and looking back over his shoulder when he didn't hear Sirius following him.

Sirius looked at James, clearly unsure how he was supposed to feel about James' nonreaction. Then he dropped the remaining rocks he had in his hand and started after him as well.

oOo

After James and Sirius talked, piecing together a lot of puzzles, things started moving a lot faster. They had the name of the first town that they were going to march into, they had a group of volunteers who were going to go and Lily had taken to biting her nails to deal with the stress.

Molly clicked her tongue and pulled Lily's hand away from her mouth, inspecting the ruined nailbeds. "Look at this mess," She muttered, "I haven't seen you do this until this past week. What's going on?"

Lily gave Molly a look and pulled her hand back to her chest. "They're leaving tomorrow morning." She said.

"We've all been in danger this whole time."

"No we haven't. Not for real." Lily argued. "We're hiding, we're safe here for now. They're about to march into a town and shout 'here we are!' and all I can do is hope that they all make it back in one piece."

Hestia was sitting with Molly and Lily at a table where they were going through a bout of wild berries that the older children had brought in. They had to go over all of them to make sure that nothing poisonous got mixed in by mistake. There weren't many berries in the area that could kill a person, but there were a lot that could make you sick, and some that could be turned into medicine instead of a snack. Lily found that she had a keen eye and was good at this task.

Hestia however, had no patience. She huffed and tossed a black berry into the food basket. "Some of us would really like to do more than sit around and hope." Her arm had not been getting better as fast as she wanted it to. It was in a sling now, to painful for her to carry around without the extra support.

"If you would have listened to me the first time I stitched you up, then you could go and play solider as well."

"Don't encourage her," Gwen sighed, coming up with another basket of berries to go through. Lily took it from her and started distributing them into even piles in front of the four of them.

"I'm chastising her, not encouraging her."

"She's only saying that because she's glad I'm injured." Hestia glared at her cousin. Lily had been right in thinking that they were related, but wrong in thinking that they were sisters. Gwen had an older brother and two younger sisters who lived in the camp as well. Hestia's older brother hadn't made it out of Nottingham though. "She'd probably have injured me herself to keep me from going if I was able bodied." She leaned forward to dump a handful into the medical basket and hissed as her arm bumped the table.

"It wouldn't be to keep you safe or anything, only to protect the rest of the soldiers from your sunny disposition." Gwen muttered. Hestia kicked her under the table and then looked down at her berries. Gwen didn't react.

Everyone's tensions were running high, because everyone had someone that was going to fight. Molly had her two brothers and her husband, Gwen's brother was going along with their father, and Benjy was going as well. His daughter Scarlet was one of the girls picking berries, and even though she was seven, an extra layer had been added to her mask as well. They were all trying to be brave.

Lily kept sorting through the berries, doing her best to keep her fingers away from her mouth.

"Where is Grace?" Gwen asked, looking over at Lily and then at Molly to make sure the older woman wasn't holding the baby.

"She's with James." Lily said, looking over her shoulder as though James and her children might appear at the mention of them. "He wanted to spend some time with them before he leaves tomorrow. He's been training everyone so hard the last couple of weeks, he hasn't gotten to see her much. Harry's been following him around quite a bit though."

"It's sweet that he wants to spend time with her. Most father's don't care much about the babes until their older."

"Most fathers?" Molly raised a brow at Gwen, who shrugged.

"I'm generalizing. I could have said most father's don't care about their daughters, but I didn't go quite that far."

"Doesn't your father have three daughters?" Lily asked, her brow narrowed. Between the way that her own father idolized her and her sister and the way James looked at Grace, she hadn't been exposed to father's playing favorites with their sons. Though part of that might have to do with the fact that she didn't have a brother. She couldn't picture her father behaving in such a way though.

"Yes he does, and we're the bane of his existence. Think of all the dowries." She rolled her eyes. "Like I can't get someone to want to marry me without the promise of being paid."

"Well why else would they marry you? You threaten to maim people if you find them slightly annoying." Hestia jabbed, a taunting grin on her face.

"I find you more than slightly annoying, and I would only maim you if I thought it was for the benefit of others." Gwen shot back. Lily smiled at their antics. Listening to them helped ease the thick cord of tension making her hunch over the table.

But that tension only got more thick and crushing because before Lily had a chance to gather her baring's, to stop biting her nails long enough to calm down, the next day had come and gone. 

James and the other's had moved out, traveling down to Godric's Hollow to gather the weapons from the abandoned amory and pray that it was still abandoned.

James had shown Lily the final plan, she knew that they were playing everything smart, she knew that they had the advantage of surprise on their side, but she couldn't get her stomach to unclench. She felt like she was going to be sick with worry.

There was no word of what was going on, if they made it there already or if something had prolonged their journey.

She tried to stay busy, but so did everyone else who was waiting. Scarlet had taken to following Lily and Mary around in turns, mainly coming over to Lily after Mary lost her patience with the young girl.

The food was all sorted and cleaned, the meat and skinned and hung to dry in the smoke house. The wash was done, water collected, hides turned into shawls, cloaks and blankets. Then they went to work on the huts, stuffing moss into the cracks to keep out the night winds that were getting steadily chillier every day.

No matter what they did though, not matter what task Lily was trying to keep her mind on, her thoughts kept drifting back to James and Remus and the other men and women that she'd come to know and care about.

And Harry's constant questions did nothing to ease her discomfort. He kept asking her when James would return, making sure that James would come back unharmed, asking if she thought they'd find any dragons they could use to help them.

Aside from that last question, she had no answers for him.

oOo

It was two weeks before they finally made it back to the camp.

It had only taken them four days to march out to Godric's Hollow, but it had taken them over a week to get back to camp.

Part of that was because they were being extra cautious, they wanted to make sure that no one was following them back to all their loved ones.

And part of it was because of all the injured.

James' heart still slammed in his chest painfully every time he thought about how things had played out.

The plan was to get in and get out quietly, get the weapons, regroup and then make an attack to free the people who were being held unlawfully in the prison.

But they had been waiting for them.

It was impossible that they knew that they were coming, and yet, they had been waiting for them.

They'd lost several people before James had sounded the retreat and they went back into the woods, only to be met with another wave of men coming at them from behind. They then had no choice but to fight their way out, despite the fact that they had no weapons.

They'd lost seventeen men, and Moody had told James repeatedly since they started walking back to camp, that it could have been much worse, that they could have lost far more than seventeen. But it was too many for James. It was blood that was on  _his_  hands. He had led those men into the town and he hadn't been able to bring out anything other than their corpses.

They had fled after that, but James and Sirius had been seething in anger, and had come up with a new plan all together. They would sneak into the town with a very small group of men and shuffle the weapons out, rallying them back to the forest.

James, Remus and Sirius had been the three to break into the actual armory. They took the weapons they desperately needed and sneaked them across town and back into the woods. James would hand them off to Regulus next to an abandon barn, Sirius would hand them to Arden near a church, and Remus to Moody, who moved faster than he should have been able to with his injured leg.

So they had the weapons, and seventeen dead bodies.

And almost everyone who had survived, was injured in some way or another.

Gideon was missing a sizable chunk of flesh from his calf, his twin brother Fabian had a gash across his abdomen. Benjy had at least half a dozen broken ribs, Moody's stitches had been reopened, even Hagrid had been injured and James hadn't thought it was possible.

He was still angry, and he could feel the anger rolling off of Sirius beside him. They had both felt responsible for the lives of the men they had taken with them, James because he was their king, and Sirius because he'd saved them and it was his plan.

James didn't care if it was Sirius' plan though, because he had agreed to it. The fact that they had somehow known they were coming didn't ease his guilt.

When he caught sight of Lily his heart dropped. He didn't want to tell her that he'd failed. The thought of doing so had kept him up just as often as the images of the short and bloody battle that had taken place.

She didn't notice his trepidation however, and started toward him, slowly at first, and then faster until she was throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him close. James didn't feel as though he deserved to take comfort in her arm though. He stopped walking and stared at a spot on the ground behind her.

She pulled away when he didn't return the hug and looked him over. "Are you hurt?" Her voice was strained. She'd been worried. He told her not to worry before he left, he'd been so confident.

"I'm fine." He said, though he hadn't escaped unharmed. Same as everyone, he was injured.

"It wasn't supposed to take that long," Her voice was quiet and her eyes started scanning over everyone else walking in.

"I know that." He said, his voice harsher than he'd meant it to be. He knew that she hadn't meant it to be a criticism. Her eyes snapped back to his and flashed with hurt.

"I didn't mean to say-" She shook her head. "What happened?"

"They knew we were coming." He managed to get out, each word felt as though it were heavy in his mouth. His tongue was dry and he didn't want to do this. His father had always warned him; he was supposed to be ready for this. He was supposed to be strong enough to deal with the guilt and the pain and the loss. He wasn't sure that he was.

"What do you mean they knew you were coming?" Her eyes were wide, her hands still on his arms, like she didn't want to let go of him in case he disappeared again.

And then he heard the first shout cut through the woods. He closed his eyes, feeling as though he'd been punched in the gut. He took a step away from Lily and shook his head. When he opened his eyes again, she was looking toward the wagons that some of the men were pulling. Families had started to gather, and it was James' job to go and comfort them, to offer them his condolences. He turned toward them and then felt Lily tugging at his hand, her small fingers trying to entwine with his.

"I'll come with you." She said, her voice sure and strong. He needed some of that, maybe he could borrow it. It didn't feel like she should be there though, she hadn't asked anything of these men, it hadn't been her plan that had backfired and caused them to lose their lives. It would be unfair for James to have her by his side when the families had lost someone. He owed it to them to be strong and face them on his own.

But he didn't say any of that. He didn't tell her that she didn't deserve the anger and resentment that was about to come his way, he just pulled his hand from hers and shook his head. "I need to do this on my own." He lacked both the sureness and strength, but she still looked as though he'd struck her, and the guilt that he'd been feeling rolled in his stomach.

She clenched her hands by her sides, went to take a step toward him and then placed her foot back down. "You-" She gripped at her skirts. She was wearing the green dress again. He briefly wondered if it was because she knew he liked it best. "You promised that we were in this together. That we didn't have to go through any of this alone."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He was so tired and angry and defeated. He didn't want to stand here and argue with her. "I don't have time for this right now, Lily." He muttered. "We lost seventeen men. I have to go and tell their families what happened, you weren't there."

"Don't do this." She whispered.

"I'm not doing anything," He almost snapped at her.

"You promised."

"I'm not breaking any- I'm not doing this now. I'll come and find you and the kids after I talk to the families." She stood up straighter, clenched her jaw and then turned on her heel. He felt a tug in his chest telling him to go after him, but he was duty bound to turn back toward his fallen soldiers.


	9. The Stars are Watching

_"Things work out best for those who make the best of the way things work out."_

_― John Wooden_

When James came into the hut that night, Lily was already in bed and turned away from the door. Both of their children were asleep, and while Harry had put up a bit of a fight with her when she finally declared that it was time for bed, soon he had passed out with his arms crossed defiantly over his chest. Lily had honestly thought that James would have made it back to the hut before Harry had the chance to fall asleep, but that was yet another thing she'd been wrong about that evening.

She heard James sigh when he walked in and had to fight with herself to keep from rolling over to glare at him. She had a lot that she wanted to say to him, but she didn't want to shout at him now. The kids were asleep, and even if she was angry with him, she didn't want to do it tonight anyway. Not when he'd just come back from talking to all the families who had lost people. She didn't want to kick him while he was down.

She wasn't even sure who had been lost yet and the not knowing, terrified her. After he'd told her to leave, she'd marched back to the hut and started patching up Harry's trousers. He'd ripped them open while playing in the creek (again) and she needed something to focus her mind on. Her hands hadn't stopped shaking though.

She heard him come into the hut and sit down at the table. He tossed his boots aside and started getting ready for bed. Lily kept her eyes closed. She was sure that he knew that she was awake, but she didn't care. He wasn't going to call her out on it. Or she didn't think he was. She'd been wrong twice tonight.  _Twice._ She hated being wrong.

A few moments later he got into bed beside her and she felt herself tense up. She didn't know what she wanted him to do. She would say something if he tried to wrap his arms around her, something unpleasant. But if he didn't try- well that would be worse, wouldn't it?

She opened her eyes in the dark and waited. She could feel that he was just as stiff and tense as she was, even if he wasn't touching her.

She couldn't convince herself to reach out for him though. She'd done a lot of reaching, a lot of trying and he had told her that it was his turn. And so she waited.

And waited.

She bit the tip of her tongue to keep from saying anything. She knew what his breath sounded like when he was asleep, and so she knew that he was still awake.

She rolled over on her back, thinking that maybe he thought she might have fallen asleep. She heard him turn his head toward her, but it was late and with all the moss stuffed into the cracks of the walls, there was no moonlight getting through. He couldn't see her, but she could still feel his eyes on her.

"Everyone got hurt." He said so quietly that Lily had to strain to hear him. "Everyone."

She swallowed and stopped biting her tongue. "Are you alright?"

"My shoulder was dislocated. I'm fine." He probably wasn't telling her everything, but she didn't ask anything else.

"You will be." She said and then let out a sigh. She rolled back onto her side and pretended that she didn't want to scoot over to him and curl up against his chest. He'd been gone for two weeks, she'd missed him terribly. She hadn't even pretended that she hadn't. But she was pretending now.

"I missed you, Lily." She could hear her heartbeat in her ears.

"Goodnight, James." His breathing hitched at her dismissal.

"I'm sorry."

"You seem to be sorry a lot."

She didn't know how long after that she felt asleep, but it felt like they sat in tense silence forever.

oOo

James woke up before Lily the next day and left the hut quickly and silently. He still hadn't gotten to greet his children, but he didn't want to risk waking anyone up. He'd have the chance to do it later. Harry would surely come and find him after he woke up at least. Though he didn't think that he'd be able to see Grace without having to talk to Lily as well.

_You seem to be sorry a lot._

The words rattled around in his head as he marched toward the fire in the middle of the camp. Sirius was already there, though James thought he might have slept there last night. He saw Remus and Peter approaching from the other side of camp as well.

He hadn't realized what he was doing last night, not exactly.

But it had all clicked into place when he'd gotten into bed last night and she was pretending to sleep. Even when she'd let him know that she wasn't sleeping, she hadn't been interested in anything he had to say, and he couldn't blame her. He'd done the one thing that he'd promised not to do. He told her that they were in this together now, and then he'd shut her out.

He'd just told her that he didn't want things to go back to the way that they'd been right before he left, and then he came back and that's what he'd done. She'd offered to go with him, and he'd said no.

He ran a hand through his hair and sat down near Sirius.

"You look like hell." Sirius muttered, pushing his own hair away from his face.

"Didn't sleep." He muttered, looking into the fire.

"Wife grateful you didn't get yourself killed?" James glared at him, though he was more upset about how far the comment was from the truth, than the insinuation.

"I had no way of knowing that they knew we were coming." James said, deciding to latch onto the part where he was subtly blaming James for what had happened.

"Sure, but I told you this was going to happen, and you didn't listen to me. You called me selfish and shit for not wanting to take these people into a fight."

"These people wanted to fight for what's there's." Remus said as he approached. "But we have something else that we need to discuss before the two of you play 'who's to blame.'" He took a seat next to James and Peter sat down on the other side of Sirius.

"Someone told them we were coming." James said, every part of him tensing in anger at the thought of someone from this camp giving away the one advantage that they had.

"Personally, I'm hoping that whoever it was, came back in the wagon." Sirius muttered.

"If they are dead, there's not going to be a way for us to find out." Remus countered. "If they're still alive however-"

"Then we can kill them." Sirius snapped, and Peter shifted uncomfortably beside him. James wasn't comfortable with that level of bloodlust either and was surprised to see Remus nod his head in agreement.

"I just want to know why," James said, looking down at his hands. "Why would someone tell them we were coming? What could they have to gain from it?"

"They're someone from camp," Remus said. "They had to know that their friends would die if they betrayed us."

"And how do we know how much they told them? Maybe our position here in the woods has been compromised as well. We're going to have to relocate." James said.

"We can't do that now." Remus cleared his throat and looked around. "Everyone is injured, and it's getting cold-"

"That just means that we can't wait too long." Sirius interrupted. He interrupted a lot.

"I think if our position was known, they would be here already." Peter said, his gaze trained on the fire. "And with all that we did to throw them off our trail, we have to be safe here."

James wasn't sure, but it would be hard to move this place. With all the children and elderly and injured, he didn't know if it was possible right now. "It would be hard to find this place unless someone brought you here." He said after a moment.

"That's not a guarantee." Sirius said. More people from the camp were starting to wake up now, a few other men had joined them at the fire.

"I know it's not, but we don't have a guarantee. All we can do now is train the men using the weapons that we now have and try again."

"I think you'd be hard pressed to find people that wanted to try again." Peter said solemnly.

"Like hell you will," Bertram spoke up from the other side of the fire. By the looks of it, Mary or Molly had re-splinted his arm since last night, and put fresh bandages around his head. "You think we're all going to cow about now that they've shown just how dirty they're going to play?"

"We're going to fight again. Especially if there's a chance they could show up here." Benjy added, his breathing sounded labored and James wondered if he had permission from Molly to be up and about with all his broken ribs. James was glad to see some color back in his face though, he really didn't want to have to tell his daughter Scarlett any bad news. "We've got kids to think about," He glanced at James. "We can't stop fighting now."

"He's right," Arden Weasley was another person that James was surprised to see on his feet so soon after being stitched up by Molly or Mary.

"Daddy!" James turned around quickly enough to brace himself as his son hurtled toward him, throwing his little arms around James' neck in a similar way to how Lily had yesterday. James pulled Harry close and tried not to think about how badly he may have messed things up yesterday.

"Harry," He grinned and pulled back, so he could look at his face. "Look at you, you're already so much bigger than the last time I saw you."

"No, I'm not." Harry laughed, "But Gracie might be. Also, I call her Gracie now instead of Grace. She smiled at me the first time I did it, and mum said it was her first smile, so I just call her that now since she likes it."

"She smiled?" He asked, surprised to hear that he'd missed something, though two weeks was a significant amount of time.

"Yeah," Harry gave him a toothy smile of his own. "She started doing it a few days ago, so now all the kids are trying to see who she likes best, but she smiles at me the most." James ruffled his hair and nodded.

"Of course she does, you're a wonderful big brother." Harry settled into James lap and James rested his chin on top of his head.

More people continued to join them, some started cooking something for breakfast, but it felt as though they were mainly gathering in solidarity, to grieve together about what they had lost.

"I'm going to bring your mum some breakfast," He said after he thought it was clear that Lily didn't plan on joining them out at the fire. He knew that the longer he waited to talk to her, the harder it was going to be. He'd messed up again, and he was going to have to fix it. He hadn't yet managed to fix things from the first time around, but hopefully this was smaller and therefore easier to fix.

He gathered a plate and started toward the hut. He was a few steps from the door when he saw Lily walked toward the hut from the opposite direction. He paused by the door, holding it open for her and then followed her inside. "Did you just come from the house?" He asked, and her response to that was a curt nod. He waited until she explained, having to wait longer than normal, but letting her offer up the information without further prompting.

"Molly has turned her kitchen into an infirmary. Moody is up there. Her brothers too. Hestia- but that has nothing to do with what happened in Godric's Hollow." She sighed and untied the cloth from around her waist that had been holding Grace to her chest.

"You've been helping out with the injured?"

"I'm good with a needle." She shrugged, turning to look at him, her eyes briefly landing on the breakfast he was holding.

"I'll trade you," He said, setting the plate on the table and reaching out to take Grace.

"She's started smiling," Lily said, taking care not to touch James anymore than she had to as she handed Grace over. He knew that she'd done that on purpose because he remembered how excited he'd been when she'd stopped being so careful not to touch him. When she went out of her way to touch him even.

"Harry told me. He calls her Gracie now."

"Most of the kids do," Lily nodded, taking a seat at the table and picked up a fork. She must have been hungry running around all morning. James was glad to know that she hadn't just been avoiding him, though dealing with the injured couldn't be a pleasant task. "Molly said to thank whoever thought to grab all the extra medical supplies. We were running low."

"That was Regulus," James said, looking down at his daughter's face. Harry was right, she did look bigger. He hadn't thought it was possible for someone to change so much in two weeks, but when she opened her big hazel eyes and looked at him, she smiled, and it seemed to change the entire shape of her face. It made her look more like Harry, with rounder cheeks and almond shaped eyes. She seemed more alert, and it felt like she recognized him. She cooed and reached for his face and he felt his heart clench painfully. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed his family. He leaned his head down and pressed a kiss to her forehead before taking a seat at the table next to Lily.

He looked at her profile, as she was staring at her food, not looking at him at all. Her brow was creased, and she was frowning. She never looked like that. "I didn't do it to push you away." He said. "But I know that's how it came across because I was angry and frustrated and I let that spill into what I was saying to you. That wasn't my intention though."

She kept looking at her plate, her brow still a hard line.

"I promised you that we were in this together though," He went on, desperate to fix things, to get the frown off her face. "And then, when things got hard I wanted to do it on my own and I wouldn't listen to you."

"I know that you were hurting," Lily said rather quickly, not looking at him still, but she wasn't telling him to stop talking either and that was a good sign. "I know that's why you didn't want me there."

"I didn't know how they were going to react either, and I didn't want anyone yelling at you because I'd messed up." He said just as quickly, trying to get it out before she changed her mind and didn't want to hear his excuses. Her shoulders slumped a bit and she slowly turned to look at him.

"And I didn't want you to go through it alone."

And that was when he realized that he'd been going about this all wrong. Entirely separate from what had happened yesterday, he'd been going about everything with Lily all wrong. He'd been so careful around her, made sure not to say anything that would have pushed her in one direction or the other, he'd been playing things safe. He told her he was going to try,  _she_ had said that she wanted him to try, and then he'd gone soft. He'd held back, he'd kept his thoughts to himself. He was an idiot.

Because here was this woman; this amazing, beautiful, intelligent woman who stood beside him as his equal, his only equal when you got right down to it. She was his queen, she had chosen this life for herself knowing that it wouldn't be easy or pleasant all the time, but she'd chosen it and she'd tried hard to fit herself into his life when he'd been doing his best to keep her out.

And then his negligence got them all kicked out on their arses, and she still stood beside him, she still tried to fit herself into the situation and fix things. When things went wrong she didn't shy away, when things got hard she didn't want to hide; she stood tall and spoke with a firm voice and she'd grown up running barefoot around the street! It blew his mind. He'd been raised for this job and he didn't feel as though he were qualified, but she never seemed to lack for anything. When he needed strength and clarity, he knew that he could barrow it from her, if he needed to speak to someone and didn't know how, he knew that he could count on her.

She'd been born to a merchant and a tree farmer, and yet she was meant to be a Queen.

He could feel himself overcorrecting as he shuffled Grace in his arms and then reached out until he was cupping her cheek. He wanted to tell her all of that and more, he wanted to tell her just how important she was to him, how he couldn't do any of this without her. And it was all such a big feeling, pushing at his chest, up his throat, clawing to get out and when he opened his mouth…

"I love you."

oOo

_James parents were older when he was born. They'd been married for a good long while, and they were in love. It was clear in the way they spoke to one another, in the way they looked at one another, and the way that they made time to be together, just the two of them._

_James had grown up thinking that this was normal. Parents were supposed to be in love with one another, the King and Queen were supposed to be in love with one another._

_It wasn't until he was eleven, that he found out that his mother had come from France. She had been a Princess there, and her marriage to his father, was not due to the fact that they were in love, but rather, that it was a good alliance for the two kingdoms. And so the marriage was arranged._

_James was also eleven when he found out that he too, would have an arranged marriage._

_Of course, his parents were far more progressive than his grandparents had been, so they planned to let him have a say in who he would be legally bound to for the rest of his life. He met with other girls, and when he said no to them, his parents respected his decision. Were there times when his mother or father would get frustrated by his reasoning for rejecting a good match? Of course, but in the end, James knew that it would always be his decision._

_He had been sixteen when he realized that he would have to say yes to one of the girls he met eventually. He was sixteen when he realized that the odds of falling in love with one of the girls he met was very slim. He realized that he would not be in love with his bride, that he could only hope to someday fall in love with his wife._

_And so he'd changed his approach._

_"What does the sound of thunder make you think of?" He asked the princess from Denmark. Her brow had furrowed, and she'd shaken her head._

_"That it's going to rain?" James shook his head._

_"No, I know thunder is followed by rain normally, but what does the sound make you think of?" He asked again, looking over at her._

_"I'm sorry, Prince James, I don't know why you're asking me this. Thunder makes me think of rain. What does it make you think of?"_

_"Have you ever read the story of the God of Storms? There was this part of the story where he had to fight his brother, the God of Death. Their fight was said to cause the first thunder. The strength behind their blows so mighty that it caused a terrible rumbling noise across the entire earth." The princess' mouth had turned into a small 'o' and she nodded politely, but James could tell that she wasn't interested. How could he marry someone who didn't like stories?_

_And then he'd met other princesses who also didn't have time for his stories, who wanted nothing to do with the tales that Minerva had spent hours telling him while he was curled up on her lap, or on the rug in front of the fireplace once he'd gotten older and started reading himself._

_They didn't want to play games either. No racing, no betting, no competing of any kind._

_"Though I would love to accompany you down to the training ground should you fancy dueling a knight, sire." One of the noble women had tried to assuage him. But that wasn't the point of him asking her if she wanted to bet on how long it would take the kitchen staff to kick them out if they mucked about as they were preparing for that nights grand dinner._

_And then his mother had started writing letters with a girl that she wanted him to meet, and he had just turned eighteen and didn't like that his mother was trying to arrange his future even though she'd always promised that she would leave it up to him._

_So, he'd done the only thing that he could think of._

_He sneaked into her rooms while she was out, found the letters from this Lily Evans that his mother had been going on about, and read them._

_Her letters read like a story. She was quick witted and knew how to turn a phrase. He didn't know what his mother's letters had said to elicit this type of response, but he realized that Lily didn't seem to have a problem speaking to royalty as if she were one of them._

_"I must confess that I had a hard time holding back my laughter that last time I saw Lady Kestra Greengrass at the Prince's birthday ball. Her stare and personality are similar in such a way that leaves those who meet her doubtful that she has any real idea of what is going on around her. I tried to determine if she was doing it on purpose or not, for my own edification, so I approached her three times throughout the evening and told her the same story, changing little to nothing. She said nothing about it of course, which leads me to believe that she is either too polite to tell me that I've started repeating myself or her looks were not deceiving in the least."_

_James, who had always disliked the Greengrasses for their politics, was delighted by this story. Kestra, while bland and dimwitted, was also horrible rude, so the fact that this girl had approached her three separate time and left unscathed was somewhat impressive. He wondered what that meant about Lily, that she could get horrible people to be polite to her._

_"My sister keeps asking me who I'm writing to. She doesn't believe that I'm writing to the Queen of England and I can't say I blame her, I can hardly bring myself to believe it. The entire idea seems fanciful and false. I've spent my entire life coming up with fanciful and false stories, and had no one but my sister to share them with. It's not my fault that one of the stories ended up being the truth as well."_

_"Must a person of importance always wear shoes in the castle? Or as the Queen do you get to do whatever you please? I know this seems like a ridiculous question, but it is something that has been weighing heavily on my mind lately as the snow has started to melt and the sun has been warming the flagstone floor, leaving me rather tempted to forgo stockings and shoes."_

_And the letters went on and James wondered if his mother had left them out for him to find, knowing that he might go looking for them If that were the case, he didn't want her to know that he found them, and would have to pretend to still be disinterested in meeting this girl who played games with the nobles for fun and made up stories to trick her sister and asked the queen if she walked the castle barefoot._

_He'd never fancied someone before, not honesty, and he didn't think you could fancy someone based on a few letters that they'd written to your mother, but he was quite sure that he was going to fancy her. Whoever she was._

_Of course, he couldn't let his mother know._

oOo

Lily had watched as a million different thoughts played across his face before he opened his mouth to finally say something. But when he had settled on what to say, it was the last thing she was expecting to hear. Her mouth fell open slightly and the fork she was holding clattered to the table and she just stared at him.

Even though it was unexpected and surprising to hear, she knew that he meant it.

She could feel tears starting to well in her eyelids and she blinked a few times. "Why didn't you say  _that_ yesterday?" She asked quietly. She thought she saw the corner of his mouth quirk upward before he was leaning in and covering her lips with his.

It wasn't the first time that they'd kissed, but it may as well have been. His hand was soft and gentle on her cheek, but she leaned into the kiss, pressing her lips firmly against his. She slid one of her hands up his arm and around his shoulder, conscious of the fact that she couldn't pull him closer since Grace was still cradled against his chest. She felt something tub at her hair and she smiled against his lips and then pulled back.

Grace's little fist had tangled into her hair, and she was looking up at the both of them with a large smile of her own. James looked down at her and let out a soft laugh, "She's got a brilliant smile, doesn't she?" He looked up at Lily and then carefully using his free hand to detangle her hair from Grace's fist. "She must get that from you."

Lily quirked a brow and pulled her hair back over her shoulder when Grace released it. "Kisses and flattery won't get you far." She turned her head back to her plate to hide her smile.

"I also brought you breakfast." He quipped. She shrugged a shoulder.

She wasn't sure how she'd managed to forgive him so quickly. Perhaps it was because she understood why he'd done it, and thought that she may have done the same thing in his position. Perhaps it was because he'd just told her that he loved her and she could see the life that she'd always wanted falling into place around her.

Because she'd been waiting on James a long time. Before they were engaged, before his parents passed, there had always been something shiny about him that had drawn her attention, more than him just being the prince, someone she was supposed to admire and respect.

And then there was the way that she'd refused to give up for  _years_ after they'd been married and he'd shown no interest in her. It was more than just her stubborn nature that had been driving her to keep trying. She'd wanted  _him_. And honestly, it had been really nice to see him all unsure of himself and flustered around her this last month or so. She'd been a perfect stranger to him before they'd left the castle, and she could tell that it was the truth by the way he looked at her sometimes when she would do something he wasn't expecting.

It all had to mean something, didn't it?

She looked over at him again and the smile that was on his face made her lose her breath for a moment. She had never seen him smile like that. "What?" She picked up her fork and moved the food around her plate.

"Nothing." He leaned an elbow on the table and rested his head on his hand. "I certainly didn't think I'd get to kiss you when I decided to come and talk to you."

"Well I didn't think that was going to happen either." She agreed.

"We should still talk about things though, right?" He looked so young with his head propped up against his hand, even with the baby in his arms and his unshaven cheeks. He just looked like a boy instead of a king.

She took a breath and then looked back at her plate. She took a bite and thought for a moment, trying to collect herself. A lot had happened in the last ten minutes or so.

"I don't want you to try and make things easier for me at your expense." She settled on, "You promised that we would do this together now, all of it. I stood next to you and spoke to them when we asked them to fight, this isn't all on your shoulders."

He sighed, tilting his head to ruffle his hair. She could tell that he was debating something; his brow was crinkled just so, his eyes looking off to the side. He huffed. "I know you're right, and I shouldn't have pushed you away. I thought you-" He closed his eyes for a moment before continuing. "I was afraid that you'd be disappointed."

She had heard similar fears echoed in other conversations that they'd had. She wasn't always the one that he was afraid to disappoint, and she understood his fears. They had been the King and Queen and they had let their kingdom get taken over by terrible people who wanted to do harm. James had always lived his life for someone else, always worried about letting someone down.

She could explain how he was being ridiculous, how it was no more his fault than anyone else's, how he couldn't possibly have known that there was someone in their midst who would turn against them. But she'd tried that before. James just seemed to absorb blame.

"I'm not disappointed in you, James." She said, looking him in the eye. And then he let out a long breath and she was glad that she'd gone for straight up denial. There was no room in those words for him to misinterpret her. "Since coming here, you have done nothing that hasn't made me proud to stand beside you."

He pushed himself up, so he was sitting upright and shifted Grace in his arms. "That can't be true." He looked down, fidgeting with Grace's blanket.

She didn't know what he could be thinking of right then, but it was true. "Of course, it is." She said, turning to face him fully for the first time since they'd sat down. "You have been kind to every, grateful of the little they've been able to give us, understanding of their struggles, empathetic to their pain. You have listened to their stories with patience, even when their anger was sharp and directed at you, you've tried to comfort them and offer them hope.

And watching how you are with our children never fails to make me smile either. Even when we were back in the castle I felt nothing but warmth and pride when I saw your face lite up whenever Harry would enter the room. You love him in a way that many nobles don't love their children and I was never worried about having a daughter after I saw you with him that first time. I never thought to care one way or the other what Grace would be. I knew that she would be just as loved as Harry was." She reached out and cupped his face in her hand. He looked as though he were frozen in place, but she found that she still had more to say.

"You are a good man, James. I wouldn't have married you if you weren't. You are a good man and I have  _always_  proud to be your wife." And while her feelings surrounding him while they were back in the castle were complicated and messy, that much was true. She'd always felt proud of standing beside him. It may have been frustrating to no end that he was closed off and distant, but she never had to worry about his actions bringing her shame or humiliation. He always tried to be good, to do what was right, to treat everyone fairly. She didn't blame him for the situation they'd found themselves in and he had to know that.

James suddenly stood up and started walking away from Lily. She opened her mouth to protest, wondering what on earth he was doing, but she hadn't said anything in the time it took him to cross the small distance between their table and the bassinette. He set Grace down gently, pulling her blanket up around her before he turned back toward Lily, his hand stretched out toward her. She took it without question, still not sure what had prompted this sudden peculiar behavior.

Once her hand was in his, he was pulling her to her feet, and then into his arms, and then with nothing between them this time, he kissed her again.

Lily felt a rush of emotions push all the way through her, to the tips of her fingers, which suddenly felt as though they were on fire. She had time to think that she shouldn't have been so surprised by his actions as she was, before she found that she was no longer able to form a coherent thought anymore. All that was in her thoughts, fragmented as they were, was him.

She tried to smother the flames in her fingertips by burying them in his hair, pulling him closer. She could feel things shifting between them, she'd felt it before, ever since they'd come here really, but it was stronger now. This felt more permanent, this felt like something she could trust not to shift back should they ever find their way back to the castle. She didn't feel as though he was just using her because she was all he had left, or because he needed comfort.

She could feel that he wanted her, and not just now. He would want her when they went home again too. He  _loved_ her, he had told her so and now she could taste it in his kiss.

"Okay, come on you two, that's disgusting." Lily had never disliked the sound of Sirius Blacks voice more. Of course, Sirius probably didn't know that this moment was special to the two of them, he didn't know that up until recently, their marriage had been a show they put on for the people of England.

And when James echoed her thoughts with a curse under his breath, she smiled at him before stepping away. "You have got to stop walking in here without knocking, Sirius."

"Or what?" Sirius cocked his head to the side and gave James a challenging look.

"Why have you stopped sulking?" James asked, and Lily looked over her shoulder at Sirius. She'd only seen him for a brief moment yesterday, but he did look much lighter now.

"Come and see." He grinned.

oOo

There were dozens of them. Everywhere he looked, there were more and more people with dirty, hopeful faces. Standing near the fire that James had abandoned to find Lily, was an old man with a long white beard. He looked tired and disheveled, but he was smiling when James walked up to him.

"My king," He nodded his head in James' direction. "My name is Albus Dumbledore and I've heard what you've done for the people in Godric's Hollow." James shifted, because he really hadn't managed to do much of anything in his mind. "We've come to help."

James looked around the camp again, and saw the group anew. They weren't just another group of desperate people who'd been displaced by Riddle. They were soldiers who had come to fight. They were here to get back what was theirs. They had heard what had happened, heard of the loses that they had taken surely, and still they were here to fight along side James.

"How did you hear about us?" James asked, looking over at Sirius to see that he looked almost smug for some reason.

"Well we've heard about Robinhood hiding people in the woods for some time, we didn't know there was much truth about it until what happened in Godric's Hollow. We want to help." That was why Sirius was smug.

"Robinhood is just a nickname for him and the others," He nodded his head at Sirius who narrowed his brow at James dismissive tone.

"It's not just a nickname. It gave people hope." Sirius snapped. Regulus walked up behind him and clapped his brother on the back.

"I appreciate that you didn't say that you alone gave people hope. Otherwise I'd have to pound you."

"Don't start bickering in front of the new people," Remus warned, though the brothers didn't look to be in danger of bickering for once. He looked to Dumbledore. "They don't look it, but they're two of our best archers and swordsmen."

"Well we aren't much by way of soldiers, but we're willing to learn and to fight." Dumbledore said, and while James couldn't imagine the old man picking up a sword and fighting off a bee, he was glad for the sentiment. And all the able bodies this elder had brought with him.

"Well we've got weapons now, so I'll start training you all tomorrow morning." James grinned, looking around.

"Is it true that we've got a princess now too?" A small voice asked from behind the legs of her mother. She couldn't be older than seven.

"We've been hearing all different kinds of reports," Dumbledore said quickly, "Not all ending so happy…"

"Grace," James said. "Her name is Grace, she's right over there with Li- uh, the Queen." He had grown used to being more informal and ended up tripping over his words.

"Princess Grace!" The little girl beamed. "That's my name!" Her mother patted her head and James grinned at the both of them.

"Well it's a very nice name," James ran a hand over his jaw and looked around all the people again. "Well I suppose we should feed you all then. Find you a place to stay as well." He looked over toward Molly who nodded and waved at Mary, Hestia and Gwen to follow her. He saw Lily start after them too.

Sirius walked up and stood next to James as other people from the camp started coming forward and splitting the new people into different groups, so they could come up with where to put them all for the night. They didn't have supplies for all of them on hand, as groups that were taken in weren't usually this large, but everyone was smiling. There was no ill will at the sudden need for extra work. They had taken a hard loss yesterday when James and the others came back with terrible news, but this was wonderful. Others had heard what they were doing and had come to help them, they had come to help fight back and that was cause for a smile.

"We might just do some damage now," Sirius said, resting his elbow on James' shoulder. James had the feeling the placement of his elbow was purposeful, he wanted all the new people to see that he was chummy with the king and comfortable with him as well. James didn't resent that though, because he'd been feeling awfully chummy with Sirius too.

"We might do more than just  _some_ damage." James grinned, and then shook his head. "Actually, we could fix things if we play this right."

"Well sure, but after our blunder-"

"There's not going to be any more blunders." James interrupted him for once. Sirius gave him a look and James stepped toward Remus so that Sirius's arm fell from his shoulder and he had to do a quick step to catch his balance. James smirked, but kept walking toward his knight.

Remus look at the two of them as they approached and nodded at James. "This is going to change things." He said, and though Remus always looked rather sullen, his eyes were brighter than usual and James could tell that he was hopeful as well.

"It could." James nodded. "But we have to find out who the traitor is first. And we have to make sure that these new people weren't followed here."

"Arthur found them earlier when he was scouting the woods." Sirius offered up more information that James hadn't had.

"We'll probably need to have more men on guard, and widen the perimeter." He wished that they had a body of water or some mountains nearby so that James would feel more secure, instead they were just in the middle of the woods, and could be attacked from any side. A nice steep cliff would do nicely as well.

"Sure, but if someone is going to tell them where we are…" Remus crossed his arms over his chest and James sighed.

"We'll have to spread false information around then." James said. "To everyone that knew the specifics of the last plan. See what Riddle's men find out and go from there."

"And by 'go from there' he means violently end whoever is behind it." Sirius added, and James had to close his eyes for a moment to collect himself.

"That's not what I meant by that-"

"Well what else would we do with this person?" Remus asked, and James raised a brow. "They endangered the lives of everyone in this camp. They deserve to be executed for that."

"We will hear them out first," James said. "We will listen and decide after that."

"Decide to remove their head from their body." Sirius muttered. James gave him another look, but Sirius didn't seem to notice.

Peter walked up with Regulus and smiled at the three of them. "So this is great, yeah?" He asked looking over his shoulder at the thinning crowd. "I mean, who would have thought that something would actually turn in our favor for once?"

"It is great," Sirius nodded. "But it won't mean much if we don't find out who betrayed us."

"That's right, Sirius." Regulus chuckled. "Only focus on the negative."

"In his defense, he did let himself be excited about the new people for a good ten minutes before he got sullen again." James grinned, which just made both of the brothers laugh. Peter took a deep breath through his nose.

"Well let's just hope that things continue in our favor." He said.

"I agree," Sirius nodded. "I've already said that the traitor could have been one of the men that lost their lives in Godric's Hollow. And if so, then we're golden." Peter's jaw clenched slightly, and he nodded.

"We can't just make that assumption though," He said, and James could hear a warning in his voice. He thought it a bit unecessary because he knew that none of them were planning on making any assumptions. They had other people's lives depending on them, and they were going to treat them carefully. "We'll have to be  _vigilant,_ as Moody would say." He tried to smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. James nodded, and wondered if maybe they should start spreading false information out to catch the traitor sooner, rather than later.


	10. The First Frost

_From the ashes a fire shall be woken,_   
_A light from the shadows shall spring;_   
_Renewed shall be blade that was broken,_   
_The crownless again shall be king."_   
_― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring_

The next day, spirits only improved more. James discovered that a few more of his knights had been brought to the forest in this new group; Amos Diggory, Frank Longbottom and Monty Bones. Lily was delighted to see that her lady's maids, Marlene McKinnon and Emmeline Vance had made it as well. It was good to know that they were not the only ones to have survived that terrible day in the castle.

With everyone who was able and willing to fight training in the clearing behind the camp, Lily had set to work helping to construct new huts with the rest of the camp. They had been in the middle of constructing more anyway, as it would soon be too cold to have people sleeping in hammocks.

"Your highness, it's really unnecessary for you to be doing this." Emmeline said, when she walked up to one of the huts with a basket full of moss and leaves to find Lily with her knees in the dirt, Grace strapped to her chest, meticulously filling the cracks between the logs of a newly constructed hut. Lily looked up at her and smiled.

"Of course, it's necessary." She said, patting the ground next to her. "I'd love some help though."

Emmeline quickly knelt beside her and they worked in silence for a few minutes before she spoke up again. "How did you get out?" Her voice was quiet. Lily had been wondering the same thing about Marlene and Emmeline, but she was a bit taken aback by the question.

She cleared her throat and stuffed more moss in between the logs she was working on. "Remus got us out." She said, letting the images from the night come back to her for a brief moment before she pushed them away again.

"They were all looking for you," Emmeline said. "I thought for sure that…" She shook her head and then looked over at Lily. "I'm sorry, My Lady. I forget myself." Lily, who had grown used to people talking freely with her for the most part, narrowed her brow.

"I was afraid that they'd hurt you as well," She said. "I'm so glad that you and Marlene are okay."

Emmeline gave her a small smile. "I'm glad that the Princess is alright as well," She reached out and gently brushed her fingertips along Grace's cheek. "And the prince! I've never seen him like this before." Lily laughed at that.

"Yes, Harry loves having other children to play with. And he was far more okay with living in the woods than anyone else I've met here so far." She chuckled.

"Many of the children seem to be in good spirits." She mused.

"Yes," Lily nodded. "I think they all take care of one another in a way that we can't. I mean they have all been through something terrible, but they're able to laugh and play and pretend to rescue the camp from dragons," She grinned. "It's amazing."

"It is, your highness."

Lily chewed on her cheek and looked over at Emmeline. "I know you had to call me that in the castle because it was proper, but I don't think it's appropriate out here. You can call me Lily."

"You are my Queen," She tightened her fist around a handful of leaves and moss.

"Hopefully I will be again, but out here I'm not a queen. Not really. I have two borrowed dresses, I stitch up the wounded when I can, I boil water for drinking, try and help with the cooking and-"

"Pardon my interruption, but those things don't detract from you being a Queen." She said. "You're taking care of your people. That's what a Queen is meant to do."

"I'm working along side them," She corrected. "I couldn't take care of them all on my own."

"Of course, but still. You could have gone anywhere. You could have sought political asylum in a neighboring country, you could be living in luxury right now, but you're not. You're living in the woods, encouraging and taking care of your people who have been terrorized by the same villain as you. I don't care if you're wearing a borrowed dress, I'm proud to call you my Queen."

Lily, who had been struggling with feeling worthy of her title after the kingdom had fallen into such ruthless and vile hands, felt her eyes start to sting at Emmeline's assessment. She'd worked hard since coming here, not for redemption, but because she cared. It hadn't dawned on her that getting her hands dirty would help to fix things on that front, she just hadn't been able to sit by and demand to be waited on when the people here had so little.

She reached out and she pulled Emmeline into a very unexpected hug. A careful hug, since Grace was strapped to her chest, but a hug nonetheless. "Thank you, Emmeline. I really have missed you and all the things you used to say to make me feel better." She chuckled quietly before puling away. Emmeline was smiling.

"Excuse me, your majesty?" Lily knew that it was someone from the new group simply because no one in the camp addressed her like that. She'd introduced herself as Lila, and Benjy still called her that sometimes, throwing her a cheeky grin to boot. She turned around and was face to face with Amelia Bones of all people. Lily almost laughed, and then stepped forward and gave her a careful hug, keeping one hand on Grace's back.

"I didn't know that you were here!" Lily grinned. "Though I should have since James told me that Monty is here, and he wouldn't have left without you."

"Yes my brother is-" She glanced off and then back at Lily. "He's a good man." Amelia was almost unrecognizable. Her hair was limp and lackluster, her eyes seemed as though they were perpetually wide, and she had dark shadows under them. There was absolutely no mirth in her face either, which perhaps was the biggest change. Lily reached out and took her hand. She'd seen Amelia several times since her first anniversary ball, and while she'd never managed to separate her from that night, it was the furthest thing from her mind at the moment.

"Are you okay, dear?" Lily asked, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Oh yes, everyone here is very friendly and accommodating," Amelia was in borrowed clothing as well. Hers was only slightly finer than what Lily was wearing, which meant that she must have gotten it from where ever they had been hiding before coming here. "But I wanted to ask you something privately." Lily glanced at where Emmeline was working dutifully.

"Emmeline was one of my ladies maids back at the castle." She said, but when Amelia's expression didn't change, she stepped away from the hut with Amelia's hand still in hers.

"I don't want to spread hysteria, that's all." She said. "I might have misheard or perhaps the person that I overheard was misinformed…" She trailed off and covered her mouth with her free hand. Lily had never seen her like this before.

"Amelia, what is it?"

"I heard that there's a traitor in the camp." She said, looking completely terrified by the notion. Lily sighed, wishing that she could tell her that it wasn't true, but that would be a lie. And Amelia could see the truth in Lily's hesitation anyway. "Oh no!" She gasped, putting her hand over her heart. Lily raised her brow, no longer used to the dainty way that noble women expressed themselves. "What will we do if those terrible men come for us?" Lily gave her a tight-lipped smile.

"Well that's what James is training everyone for, right? So that we can defend ourselves, so we can fight back."

"But they're going to  _leave_ the camp to go and fight people. How many of us would- how many of us would be dead by the time everyone managed to work out what was going on if there was a surprise attack!"

"But we have scouts, Amelia." Lily argued. "And they know that there might be a traitor among us, so it wouldn't be a complete surprise if soldiers were to attack the camp. I'm sure James and the others are coming up with a contingency plan as we speak."

"But you can't know that their plan will work!" Amelia ran a hand over her face and sighed mournfully. "Don't tell Monty that I said that. I don't want him to think that I don't have faith in him, because I do. I'm just- I'm so scared."

"We're all scared, Amelia." Lily put her hand on Amelia's shoulder. "It's time we find out just how brave we all are."

'I don't feel very brave."

"But you are. Because you're here, because you stood against Riddle and his men. It's not easy, but we'll get through this together."

And suddenly,  _thankfully,_ Mary was beside her. "'Lo, Lily." She said, looping her arm through Lily's free one. "Molly needs your help up at the house." Lily didn't know why Molly would need Lily instead of Mary, but she was glad to be given an excuse to leave. She knew that Amelia was scared, and maybe it was mean to want to put some distance between her and the noblewoman. Speaking with simpering woman used to come so easy to her, but she was accustomed to speaking with the common people now, and they just didn't behave like this. At least not the women here. Hestia wanted to fight, Mary and Gwen were too angry to do anything that resembled simpering, and Molly was unofficially in charge of the entire camp it seemed.

"What does Molly need?" Lily asked when they were some ways away from Amelia.

"Nothing, you just looked like you wanted to run so I helped you out. Who is she?" Lily laughed and leaned over, pressing a kiss to Mary's cheek.

"You're a wonderful friend. Her name is Amelia. I grew up with her." Mary wiped Lily's kiss away and gave her a look.

"If you grew up with her-"

"I grew up with all of the noble women. Amelia was always one of my favorites, but still. Women at court always seem to be reacting for the amusement of other people. I found that I don't much have the patience for that anymore." She glanced over at Mary and considered telling her about the incident at the ball, but that was years ago and it seemed awfully petty for her to bring it up now. She'd give James a hard time about it later perhaps. If she could work out how to tease him light-heartedly. She smiled at the thought.

"Then what are you smiling about?" Mary asked, her brow narrowed.

"My husband." Her smile grew, and Mary laughed and shook her head.

"You two have seemed awfully cozy these last couple of days." Lily looked at her and wondered if she had guessed that her marriage to James had been for show.

"Well I'm awfully happy that he made it back in one piece." She shrugged, her free hand stroking Grace's head.

"Sure, but it seems like more than that." They stopped walking in front of Lily's hut. "You know, we're friends now, you can talk to me if you'd like."

Lily's face split into a grin. "He told me that he loved me." She couldn't keep it to herself anymore. She's sat on that information since James had told her, feeling like she couldn't tell anyone but needing to tell  _everyone_  at the same time. Mary would do though.

"And he hasn't done that before?" Lily shook her head, still smiling widely. "I figured that you too weren't that close when you first got here."

Lily nodded, "Things are different now."

"I've noticed that as well." Mary smirked.

It was a few hours later when Lily was putting Grace to bed and James walked through the door a bit later than he usually did. She looked over at him as she pulled up the extra blanket she had fetched from the cart of supplies that the men had brought back from Godric's Hollow. She was glad that they had remembered to get more than weapons and medical supplies. Lily had been worried that Grace was getting cold at night.

"You look a bit tired," Lily said, as James stared blankly at the floor, his eyes glazed over as they shifted toward her. He was leaning up against the back of the door, his jacket in his hand. She gave him a small smile. His returning smile was lazy but genuine and it made Lily's smile grow. "I'm afraid that your dinner is probably cold now."

He shrugged and pushed himself off the wall and plopped down on one of the stumps. "That's alright. Thank you for bringing it here for me." She knew that he could go and eat warm food with the rest of the men that had been training, but he always came back here after training. Even though he'd made friends with Sirius and Peter and Regulus. He'd warmed up to Benjy as well.

"It's not a bother," She grinned, walking over to the table and taking a seat next to him.

"How was your day?" He asked, slight emphasis on 'your' which made her think that something specific had happened during training today.

"Well, I found out that both of my ladies' maids from the castle are here. Emmeline and Marlene. I spoke with Emmeline and she said some very nice things, but it was strange that she was still talking to me like she used to when everyone here speaks more… casually? I suppose I've become accustomed to being called Lily again."

"I'm glad they managed to get out of the castle."

"I didn't think they had," She said, closing her eyes for a moment as she remembered watching her doctor get cut down. "I still don't know how we managed sometimes."

"We'll be thanking Remus forever." James said, pushing the food around on his plate. Lily wondered what he was remembering. He had been in a different part of the castle when the attack happened, probably heading toward Harry when he realized something terrible was happening. Did he get there before Remus reached him? What did he think when he found Harry's room empty?

They still had so much to talk about. It was all so backlogged.

"Anyway, after I spoke with Emmeline," Because she wasn't going to talk about it today. "Amelia Bones found me. I don't know why I was surprised to see her, since I knew Monty was here and he wasn't going to leave the city without her, but still. She was- well actually her fears were all completely justified, but I suppose I just wasn't ready to play 'court' again."

"We haven't interacted with nobles in quite a while. I mean, the Black brothers, but they hardly count anymore." He shrugged, and then looked at her out of the corner of his eyes. "Are you sure that's the only reason that you had no patience for her?"

Lily rolled her eyes, slightly surprised that he would say anything about that. "I've spoken with Amelia hundreds of times in the last four years." She said. "I've known her for as long as I can remember, she was my dancing partner during lessons, and she's always been one of the less flighty noble women. I  _like_ Amelia Bones." And that was true.

James was still pushing his food around.

"You need to eat." She said, nudging his arm with her elbow. He took a bite and chewed. She didn't think there would be any lighthearted teasing on the matter. Not when he was looking at his food like this.

"I was just being friendly with a member of my court at the time." He said, his fork pushing at the pile of mashed turnips.

"I'm surprised you even remember it honestly." She chewed on the inside of her cheek.

"Of course, I remember." His voice was quieter, and his brow narrowed. "The look on your face…"

She didn't want to talk about this either, but she didn't think it was smart to skip two conversations that they needed to have. At least not in a row. "I knew that you were just being friendly. I knew that  _she_ was just being friendly. But you had told me to throw a ball if I wanted, making it seem like you didn't care one way or the other, and I thought if you- I mean it was a ball! There was drinking, and dancing and it was all light and fun." She started pinching her skirt between her thumb and forefinger. "I'd never heard you laugh like that before."

She looked up at him again, sitting up straighter, "Before the jealousy caught up with me, I felt like I was doing something right. Because things had been hard, and things were going slow and fast at the same time, but you looked happy for the first time since- Well you looked happy whenever you were around Harry too, but- I don't know." She sighed.

James set his fork down and turned to her. He put a hand on her knee and she slid her hand down her skits until it was resting on top of his. "I don't know why you talk to me now." He sighed, leaning his forehead against her shoulder.

"I've always liked you, James."

"I think that only makes it worse." He muttered, shaking his head slightly. She leaned over and pressed her lips against his head, his hair tickling her cheeks. "I'm going to spoil you when we get back to the castle. I'm never going to be able to make up for all the lost time, but I'm going to try."

She chuckled lightly, squeezing his hand. Her other hand came up to run through his hair. "I can't pretend that I wouldn't like being spoiled." She grinned. "But I'd rather you didn't feel like that. We should just make a fresh start when we go back-" She pulled back rather suddenly, her hands moving to catch his head as she moved her shoulder away from where he was leaning on her. He looked up at her with wide eyes, her hands on both of his cheeks.

"What?" He asked.

"I just realized something." She said, not yet telling him what it was that she remembered.

"And what is it?" He looked as if he didn't know whether he should be worried or not.

She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, briefly, but long enough to make him smile. "I forgot to tell you yesterday," She ran her thumb over his cheek and he leaned into her touch. She couldn't tell if he did it on purpose or not and her gaze softened. "You told me that you loved me, and then you kissed me and then all those people showed up and so I didn't really have time to remember. Though I suppose I should have remembered earlier than now, I could have told you-" He leaned forward to kiss her this time, ending her rambling.

"Maybe you should let me know what it is before you forget again," He teased, both his hands on her legs now, his fingers lightly swirling over her skirts.

She shook her head slightly but made sure to look him in the eye as she said, "I love you too." And just as he had surprised her with the sentiment yesterday, she could tell by the look on his face that whatever he'd been expecting her to say, that was not it. His eyes were wide, his mouth was slightly ajar, and he seemed to be searching her face, making sure that she wasn't joking or teasing. She most certainly wasn't though, so he wouldn't find any evidence of that.

After a silent moment, he let out a huff of breath and then leaned down buried his face in her skirts. Lily opened her mouth to say something and then closed it, pressing her lips into a thin line as she wondered what exactly this reaction was. Her hands went back to his hair, and she raised her brow. "You know, I uh, I thought you'd kiss me or something."

She heard a muffled laugh and the corner of her mouth quirked. "Oh, I plan on kissing you," He turned his head so his words came out clear. "I'm just trying to work out how this all happened. I mean, it makes perfect sense for me to fall in love with you but…" He shook his head.

"You're so hard on yourself." She sighed, her fingers still in his hair, twisting a lock around her finger. It was exactly the same as Harry's.

"I think being hard on myself about this in particular is warranted." He pushed himself upright.

"James?"

"Yes?"

"I love you," She repeated, because she figured it wouldn't hurt for him to hear it again.

His shoulders dropped slightly, and he looked as though he were fighting a smile; but that was a fight that he lost. "I love you too, Lily."

"Good. Now, finish your supper."

"Sure, but first," His smile was a bit more wicked now. "I think I promised you a kiss."

oOo

Now that they had weapons to train with, things seemed to be moving along a bit faster than the first time around. Many men were showing great promise with bows and arrows, and while there were fewer who could handle a sword, James was glad to say that the number of men who would be holding swords in the next battle was far more than three.

It had been a week since the new group of people had arrived with Dumbledore, and while they were still vigilant and weary of the fact that there could be a traitor in their midst, James couldn't say that the threat started to take a bit of a back seat after the first few days of no attack. They still had scouts out of course, but he didn't want to spend any extra man power on scouts when they could be training.

He'd just led everyone on a run around the perimeter, the men who were on duty laughed as they went by, claiming to be the lucky ones, but James would get to them too, they wouldn't be laughing then. By the time they were back in the clearing, James was slightly winded, Sirius was muttered curses behind him though and that made him laugh.

"Good work everyone," He called out, some of the men falling onto the ground, rather dramatically in his opinion. After all, it wasn't the first time that they'd gone for a run, they should have known what to expect. "I'll see you with the sun tomorrow morning." There were a few groans, but he knew that it was mainly for show. They could all see the improvement that they were making, they could feel their chances rise with every extra lap they were able to run.

Sirius clapped a hand on James' back as the king started walking toward his hut. The sun was starting to set by now, and the air was getting cooler still. He wondered when the first frost would be. That would bring about a whole new round of problems, but they would manage.

"New recruits look good. Better fed then we are."

"Well go and find some food if your hungry."

"Too bad I don't have a pretty girl to keep dinner out for me like some people," He elbowed James in the ribs and James shook his head.

"I'm not going to pretend that I'm not lucky to have her."

"And I'm not going to pretend that you don't look like a git when you smile like that," Sirius shrugged. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Are you going to Rosmerta?" He asked, and Sirius just gave him a look that affirmed his question. "Don't drink too much or I'll have you leading exercises tomorrow. And I don't care if you throw up on someone again!" Sirius scowled at him, and James laughed. He was glad that he was able to find a friend in Sirius again.

A few minutes later, he pushed open the door to his family's hut and found Lily and Harry sitting on his little cot, a book in Lily's hands. She was reading to him, so he didn't interrupt to ask where she'd found it. He sat down at the table and started on his dinner, trying not to pay attention to whatever had been done to the turnips tonight. It all tasted the same anyway.

"The end," Lily snapped the book shut and Harry instantly sat up straighter.

"Can't you just read it  _one_ more time." He asked, holding up his finger.

"No, I've already read it three times. Go say goodnight to your father so you can go to bed." Harry sighed, letting his head fall back and then stood up, grinning as his eyes fell on James.

"Goodnight, dad!" He said as he ran at James' side and wrapped his arms around him.

"Goodnight, Harry." James leaned down and kissed his head. "Sweet dreams."

Harry went back to bed, practically falling on to his cot. James didn't blame him, he'd been trying to keep pace with them earlier when they first started their run. He lasted longer than James had thought he would.

"I don't think there's been a single night where he hasn't passed out from exhaustion as soon as you've come in." She chuckled, looking over at his already still form.

"He's a very busy kid," James chuckled, taking the last bite of his meal and pushing the plate toward the others. "And I don't think there's been many nights were you and I haven't done the same if I'm being honest."

"I suppose that's true."

"We've decided when we're leaving for the Hollows again." He said after a moment and Lily sighed, looking down in her hands.

"I thought that's why I didn't see you around lunch time."

"Two days. We'll leave in the morning. We don't think they'll be expecting us to attack the same place twice. Sirius, Moody, and Dumbledore are the only ones who know where we're going. Everyone else thinks we're headed to Hogsmeade."

"Well that's good."

"I wanted to tell a few more people the truth, because Regulus especially is going to be a pain in the arse when he finds out that we lied to him. I know he's not the traitor. I know a lot of people aren't the traitor, but we have to be careful."

"I'm glad you didn't tell anyone else. We know it wasn't Dumbledore because he only just got here, Sirius is too self-righteous to be the traitor. Moody doesn't have it in him." She shook her head as ticked through the list. "You already promised to stay safe, so I don't need to ask you to do that again, do I?"

"Of course, I'm going to do my very best to come back to you and the kids." He promised. "I love you and the kids. And Harry is too young to be king, yeah?" He smiled, though it felt like it was mostly for show.

"A bit," She agreed, and her smile didn't look real either.

"It's going to be alright." He said. "We can't keep living in the woods like this. It's going to frost over any day now, and then what? We don't have warm clothes for everyone. We don't have enough food either." He muttered. He was glad that all the new people had arrived, but they hadn't brought any food with them, and the camp wasn't big enough as it were. He didn't know how much longer they were going to be able to feed everyone. And if they ran out of food, then they couldn't train them to fight anymore. Hungry men couldn't build muscle.

"I know it's necessary," Lily tucked back a lock of her hair. "I just wish that it was not." She gave him a sad smile now. "I also know that you'll do wonderfully. You've already done wonderfully. All those men trust you not because you're their king, but because you've gained their trust. You know that, right?"

James shifted on his seat and then nodded. "It's a different kind of power. I'm not sure I've ever had this kind before, but I like it better than the power I inherited."

"I like it better too." She agreed. "We earned it."

oOo

They could have been planning to leave a month from now and it would have gone by just as quickly. After they decided to leave, the next day was full of more training for the men, and packing up their supplies for everyone else. Lily knew that their chances were much better now. She knew that they had a better plan, a secret plan, and she trusted the four men who knew the real plan.

She knocked on the backdoor of the Weasley's house and then walked in. There weren't any people in her kitchen anymore. Everyone who had been injured had finally been deemed well enough to leave. She'd kept her brother Gideon the longest, as the gapping wound that had been inflicted into his calf had been rather tricky to disinfect, and he couldn't walk without a splint on it anymore. Lily could tell that he was more upset about it then he was trying to let on, but he still planned to go to Godric's Hollow- well he thought he was going to Hogsmeade. Lily had to remember not to say the honest location of the mission. The last thing she needed was to be responsible for a failed mission.

The day had flown by. Lily had helped prepare the three carts that the men would be taking with them and was now up to visit with Molly. Hestia and Gwen were already there, seated around the table. Lily wasn't sure if this was purely a social visit, or if Molly had something that she needed to go over with them. When Mary and Marlene walked into the room from the front door, Lily narrowed her brow but offered them a smile.

"All I'm saying is that I  _should_ be going tomorrow. My arm is completely healed. I could fight." Hestia was saying to her cousin, who simply rolled her eyes.

"And all I'm saying is that you would be completely useless to them now that they've been training with weapons and building up their strength all while you've been sitting on your arse." She glanced over to Lily to make sure that Grace wasn't with her. Not that Grace could speak or understand her language at this stage of her life, but still, Lily appreciated the fact that Gwen was tactful like that.

"I would not be bloody useless." Hestia snapped.

"I wouldn't either." Marlene said, taking a seat next to Hestia. Mary sat down across from them, in the chair next to the one that Lily always sat in. Lily sat down last and looked around the table. "I used to train with my brothers sometimes back at the castle. I know how to hold a sword."

"Well I think everyone knows how to use a sword," Mary said, tapping her fingers on the table as she always did. "You just stab whoever you're fighting with the sharp end." She shrugged. Marlene rolled her eyes.

"Yes, that's all there is to it." She nodded. Lily tried to remember if she'd ever heard Marlene say something sarcastic before.

"Well, that is the gist of it, isn't it?" Lily grinned, testing the waters with how Marlene would treat Lily in this new environment. Lily had tried to get her and Emmeline to talk to her, to be her friends, back in the castle, but she hadn't been able to. Emmeline had been more talkative the other day, but there was still a very clear distinction between the two women.

"Yes, your highness," Marlene said with a wry smile. "But there's quite a bit more as well." Lily grinned.

"Well maybe you should be helping James and Sirius and Regulus with the training then."

"Oh I'm sure all the men would love taking orders from me," She snorted and then covered her mouth with her hand. "Sorry, I'm not disagreeing with you of course."

"Well I am," Gwen said. "Marlene is right. Men are stupid and don't like listening to us, Lily. I've told you about my father, yes?" Lily rolled her eyes and stood up to go and put the kettle over the fire, so they could have some tea.

"Yes, you've told me about your father." She said, looking toward the stairs when she heard the stairs creak.

"I see you've added someone to the mix here." Molly said, Ginny on her hip. Her head was resting on Molly's shoulder and judging by the look on her face, she'd just woken up. "I thought she'd be asleep longer, but I don't think this one will ever do what I want her too." Molly kissed the crown of her only daughter's head affectionately and then walked over to the hearth where Lily was setting up the teapot and swatted at her hands. "This is my house, miss. I'll make the tea."

"Well then let me hold Ginny," Lily said, handing over the kettle in favor of the two-year-old. Molly smiled when Ginny reached her chubby toddler arms out for the Queen. Lily kissed her cheek and folded her into a hug as she walked back over to the table.

Marlene looked a bit bewildered.

"And who are you?" Molly said, turning to make eye contact with the blonde.

"Marlene, ma'am." She responded promptly. "I um, I used to work for Queen Lily."

"That explains it." Molly grinned, though didn't explain her comment. Lily had a feeling that she was referring to the look on Marlene's face though. "And who brought you here?"

"I did," Mary answered. "Saw her helping some of the new kids with bandages and whatnot."

"My mother was a healer in the city." Marlene supplied. "I was going to apprentice with her soon," Lily hadn't known that. Though she didn't know she had any brothers until she mentioned them a few moments ago either.

"Lily, was one of your parents a healer?" Hestia asked.

"No," Lily shook her head. "My mum helped my grandfather in his shop until she married my dad, who grew up tending to an orchard."

"Your parents are nobles though," Marlene narrowed her brow.

"In title sure. My mum because she married my father, and my father because he was born into a noble family. But not a noble family like the Bones, or the Greengrasses, or the Averys. They've owned that orchard for over one hundred years and that's always where we've lived." Lily ran her hands through Ginny's hair as she spoke, slowly working to detangle it. "Are you going to live all the way out here after everything is taken care of?" Lily asked, turning to Molly who was digging through a cupboard for teacups now.

She looked over her shoulder and shrugged. "I don't think so. We didn't live here until a year or so ago. We used to live in the city actually." She mused.

"Oh that would be wonderful." Lily sat up straighter. "Especially for Harry and Ron, but for me as well. I don't know how I go about not speaking to you whenever I needed to." Molly looked over her shoulder and smiled at her.

"You got along just fine without me before." She reminded her.

"I just managed to get along actually." Lily leant back against the chair. She noticed Marlene looking at her and looked up at her.

"I would have gotten into trouble if I'd spoken to you like these women are speaking to you now." She said suddenly. Lily wanted to tell her that, had they been friends, she wouldn't have let anything bad happen to her. She nodded instead.

"Everyone seemed to feel that way." She said instead, resting her chin on top of Ginny's head as the little girl leaned against her chest, one of her little hands gripping to her hair. "Remus used to let me talk to him when he wasn't busy." She added, though she realized that the addition only made her seem pitiful.

"You had friends in the noblewomen." Marlene said, her brow narrowed.

"I had women trying to gain my favor by trying to be the quickest to agree with me." She shook her head. "But I could never have sat around a table with them like this. There were always so many rules we had to observe."

"I suppose that means that Em was right," Marlene said, accepting a teacup from Molly.

"I spoke with her the other day, she does seem rather bright." Lily nodded.

"She said that you were lonely."

"Well she's not anymore." Mary said after beat of silence. She patted Lily's knee and smiled at her. "She was a right pain when she first got here, but that turned out to be more of an error in judgment than anything specific that she did."

"I love that you're learning to admit when you're wrong," Molly teased, bringing over the kettle and pouring her own cup before setting it in the middle so they could all fix it how they liked. "So everyone is leaving tomorrow morning." She said quite suddenly, and Lily sat up straighter, carefully though since Ginny seemed comfortable. "We need to come up with a plan for what we're going to get done while they're gone, how we're going to tend to the wounded when they come back, how we're going to get enough food for everyone, and any other potential problems that we can think of."

"We'll need to build more huts," Hestia said.

"And fill them in more." Gwen added. "And everyone will be needing warmer clothes."

Molly sighed. "The children especially." She did have seven to think about, and while she had been very gracious when it came to sharing what she had with everyone in the camp, she didn't seem to have many warm clothes. Only a handful of handknit sweaters that she'd made last year for her children.

They went through and continued to go over everything that they needed to get done as soon as possible. Before too long, Lily was handing Ginny back over to Molly and heading back to the camp to tend to her own children. Marlene caught up with her fairly quick.

"Do you mind if I walk with you, My Lady?"

"Of course not," Lily smiled. "And you can call me Lily, same as the others do." She added.

"I'm sorry for what I said back there," She said without commenting about her name. "I didn't mean to- I mean, I shouldn't have said it."

"You spoke only the truth." Lily sighed.

"But still, that truth wasn't for me to share."

"It's nothing that I haven't talked about with them before." At least she'd talked to Mary and Molly about how lonely the castle had been, how distant she and James had been. She assumed that Hestia and Gwen knew the gist of it.

"Just let me apologize," Marlene sighed. "I have a way of putting my foot in my mouth because I never seem to think before I speak. Which was another reason that I tried not to say much around you in the castle. I would definitely have gotten in trouble for what I said, if not how I was saying it." She chuckled. "My mouth has gotten me removed from three different jobs in the past. Being your Ladies Maid was the longest I spent at a post."

Lily grinned. "My words seem to run away from me at times. Though only when I'm extremely riled up about something. I promise not to hold it against you, if you promise the same to me."

"Of course, My Lady." She grinned. "Please wish the King luck from me for tomorrows journey."

"Of course," Lily nodded, "Have a good night, Marlene." She nodded and then headed off to where ever there had been room for her in the camp.

Lily smiled as she made her way back to her hut. She'd never had this many friends before, or felt so good about the friends that she had either. It was a strange, wonderful feeling to have other women to rely on, to have people around her to help and listen to her, offer back their own opinions as well.

She hoped that soon she could count Marlene as a friend as well.

oOo

The next morning came and went all too quickly for James. Before he was ready, he had to say goodbye to his family again, wondering just how much he was going to miss this time. Would it be Grace's first laugh instead of her smile? Would Harry grow a few inches in his absence? He didn't want to miss anything, but he had to make sure that he did all he could for his family's future before he could prioritize what was happening now.

He had kissed Lily goodbye many times that morning, eager to steal as much time together as he could before heading off toward Godric's Hollow. They'd only gotten a short while together, and fractured time at that.

He was scared to go back as well. He felt good having Sirius and Remus at his side, and he felt good that there were only a few people who knew the location that they were headed to, but he was still afraid that something terrible was going to happen. He couldn't keep leading a group of men into battle if they kept losing. They needed a win, not just for morals sake, but because they couldn't keep this up. They needed food and supplies and support. If they didn't succeed, then they would lose more men, weapons that they didn't have to spare, food that they desperately needed, and momentum as well.

His boots crunched against the frost covered ground and he cursed under his breath. He hated to leave the camp after the first frost. There was still so much to do to prepare for winter, and they hadn't put much of a dent in it since they'd been spending most of their time training, erecting new huts for all the new comers, and chopping firewood.

Regulus came up to walk beside him and James looked over at him.

"They're going to be alright without us," He said, and James wasn't sure what his face must look like if Regulus was trying to comfort him.

"I'm sure they will, I just wish we had more people to do everything that needed to be done."

"If we had more people, then we wouldn't be living in the woods right now." James wasn't sure how he meant that, but just nodded anyway.

"You have a plan about how we're going to deal with the traitor, right?" He asked. "Sirius won't tell me anything, which I find incredibly insulting, but also not the least bit surprising. Sirius has always enjoyed lording things over me."

James chuckled. "I don't think you're the only one he likes lording things over."

"Oh of course I'm not. If lording things over someone was a personality trait, it would be Sirius's defining one." James laughed against and nodded.

"Lily calls it 'self-righteous,' but I think that's too clean." He looked over at Sirius, who was talking animatedly with Remus and Benjy. "But yes, we do have a plan." He looked back at Regulus.

"You're not going to tell me what it is either, are you?"

"It's not because I think you're the traitor," James said. "I'd be very surprised if you were. But if I told everyone who I thought  _wasn't_ the traitor, well then I might accidentally tell the wrong person. Or they might tell the wrong person and the plan wouldn't work."

"That makes sense, I just don't know why you would tell Sirius then." He smirked over at his brother. "Especially when he spends so much time getting drunk with Rosie and all the men over there."

"I think you know better that most that your brother knows how to keep things to himself." Regulus shrugged at that.

"I suppose." James could tell that he still wanted to be let in the loop, and he wanted to tell him, but just behind them were around five other men who would all overhear if they wanted to.

"You trust me, Regulus?" James asked.

"Of course I do," He nodded. "Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do," He mimicked, smiling at the younger man. "Showed you all the secret passages in the castle, didn't I?"

"Sure, but we were kids. What does that have to do with anything?"

"Do you remember them?"

"Some. There was that one behind the portrait of the fruit bowl, the one under the weird statue of that hunchbacked man…." He trailed off.

"When Riddle's men attacked the castle, they didn't use any of the secret passages. That's how we were all able to escape." He said. "If you were working for Riddle, I think they would have known about that advantage, and they would have used it. But they didn't. I trust you."

Regulus grinned, realizing that James wasn't just saying it for the sake of being amiable. "Thank you, James." He said. "Moody still looks at me with shifty eyes, not Sirius of course, but he doesn't trust me."

"Well if it makes you feel any better, I'm not sure that Moody trusts his own shadow, so…" He trailed off and Regulus laughed. "Nor am I sure that Sirius trusts me completely."

"He does," Regulus disagreed. "He's always liked you and he does trust you. That's one of the only things we can agree on." James smiled at the ground and nodded.

"Thank you for that."

And they marched on. James still wasn't sure what was going to happen. He wasn't sure if his plan was going to work, but he knew that he had people who stood behind him, and more importantly he had people to stand beside him, and he felt good about that.


	11. Our Lucky Star

_“I'm a greater believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it”_

_―[Thomas Jefferson](https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/1673.Thomas_Jefferson)_

They hadn’t known that they were coming this time, and so the element of surprise worked for them instead of against them. They went into the city, first surrounding it and then going in toward the middle, taking out Riddle’s men quickly and quietly. By the time they reached the middle of the city, there hadn’t even been an alarm sounded, and they had taken three noblemen hostage, so they could be questioned.

And what James thought was even better news, was that they hadn’t lost a single life on their side. It was nothing short of a miracle.

“I can’t believe we did it!” Sirius said, a large grin splitting his face as he let out a bark of laugh and threw his arm around his younger brother, who looked equally as thrilled.

“I can’t believe it either.” Regulus said, shaking his head. “Your plan worked.” He laughed again. He had laughed when he first saw the small town come into view earlier that morning, telling James that he was clever. A few of the other men had been a bit disgruntled, but after how successfully they’d managed to pull off this mission, James didn’t think they’d be upset with him still for long.

“Has anyone seen Peter?” Sirius asked, looking around for the quiet man who was usually not too far from his side. James looked around and shook his head.

“He’ll turn up,” He assured him. “We’ve still got work to do.” He grabbed Remus’s elbow and pulled him along after him, knowing that Sirius would follow.

“Where are we going?”

“The jail,” James said. “Everyone has been telling me how innocent people have been locked up for not supporting Riddle, or for supporting my family, or for not being able to pay taxes. I think it’s time someone let them out, yeah?” Remus smiled at him and nodded.

“What are we doing?” Regulus said, jogging to catch up with them.

“Breaking people out of jail.” Sirius laughed.

“A specific person, or everyone?”

“The innocent.”

“And how do you know that they’re innocent?” Remus asked. “I’m sure there are a few people who are in there for good reason.”

“Well, we’ll have to ask the locals then, won’t we?”

It was dark in the jail as there were no windows, and so James needed a lantern to walk into the small stone building that was used as the jailhouse despite the morning sun being rather high in the sky. There were four cells, two on each wall, and they were far more full than they should be. In one of the cells, people didn’t even have enough space for all of them to sit down at the same time.

And the smell…

James cleared his throat, trying not to let the smell have a visible effect on him. “Where are the keys?” He asked no one in particular.

“James Potter?” A small voice came from the cell in the back-left corner. James walked in further and nodded.

“Yes, it’s me.”

“With Robinhood?” James looked back at Sirius and then grinned.

“Yeah,”

“I thought for sure that was just a story.” He could see her now. She was small, a least a foot shorter than he was. Her brown hair was matted, her eyes were framed by dark circles. James didn’t know if someone had hit her, or if she just hadn’t slept in a very long time.

“We’ve taken back the city and we’d like to let you all out of here. Where are the keys?” There were many murmurs shooting throughout the room, back and forth, too many quiet questions for him to try and answer.

“They’re with Dolohov.” The girl said. “So, they’re wherever he ran off to.”

“We’ve got Dolohov.” James said. “Regulus, run back and grab the keys from him. Quickly, we need to get them out of here.” His eyes were stinging, and Regulus seemed all to glad to run from the building.

“I knew Robinhood was a story, but I didn’t think the Black brothers were going to be behind it.” This was a different voice, closer to the front this time. James turned to see a bald man with a few missing teeth. He was older than James by a couple of decades and he was in the especially crowded cell.

This had been the town of James’ childhood, this was where he’d spent his summers. And he knew the face of this man. He was more haggard now, looked as though he might be injured, but still, James knew him. “Gerald Fortescue?” He asked, taking a step toward him. “Why are you here?”

“That’d be my fault,” The matted girl spoke up again, and James suddenly remembered who she was as well.

“Alice?” He clenched his fists at his sides.

“I don’t think I like that you recognized me.” Alice sighed, pushing her hair away from her face.

“I told you to stop blaming yourself for what happened. I’d have been disappointed in you if you’d done it any differently.” Gerald said firmly, still leaning against the bars of the cell. He looked at James, trying to straighten himself, but it looked painful for him to do so and James felt himself flinch before he could stop himself. “They were trying to take some of the kids. Alice got in their way. They threw us both in here for it.”

“What about Abigail?” James asked.

“I’m over here, love.” He turned quickly to see an older woman just as battered as her husband and daughter. “It’s good to see you again. Especially if you’re going to get us out of here.”

“Oh we’re going to do more than that,” Sirius promised. It was the first time that he’d spoken since they walked in and James could hear the anger in his voice. He could sense the frustration and the wrath lurking just below the surface. This was despicable. This was  _not_ the way you treated other people, no matter what they did. There was no justification for this other than extreme cruelty and evil.

Regulus ran back in and went straight for the bars of the cell that Gerald was in. “Is anyone in here for a good reason?” He asked quietly, “Like, no one in here killed anyone, right?”

“You think there’d be a murderer in the Hollow’s?” Gerald let out a soft laugh. “No, dear boy. This building was empty before Dolohov showed up. Well, it was empty most of the time.”

“I wish we’d brought Molly with us.” Remus muttered from James’ side. James agreed with him as all the men and women and children started filing out of the cells and into the streets surrounding the building.

A pair of knights fell to their knees in front of James, which startled him more than anything else, since he’d thought these two men to be dead before he’d been run out of the castle. “Amos? Reginald? How are you two- I was told that you were murdered by marauders.” But even as he asked the question, he realized that he’d been told this by one of Dolohov’s reports. He also realized that he was very lucky that Dolohov had not done more than throw these two men in jail.

“We saw what he was doing to the townspeople and refused to keep it to ourselves after returning to the castle.” Amos stood from his knee, holding out his hand to help Reginald up as well. Amos was from a noble family, and he’d never gotten on with Reginald, who James had promoted around the same time he’d promoted Remus. Reginald was from a similar background as Remus and Amos felt slighted by both of their appointments at one point. It seemed that whatever animosity that had once lived between the two men had finally died.

“Well I thank you for not folding to Riddle’s will, though I’m forever sorry that you were treated this way.” He looked around the room again, making sure that the cells were completely empty before he started for the door himself.

“It wasn’t all bad,” Reginald shrugged one of his shoulders. James noticed that he was leaning against Amos slightly, limping as they walked. “They didn’t think there was anyway that we’d get out of course, so they didn’t really do much to prevent us from overhearing them.”

“You’ve got information then,” Sirius moved to help Reginald. And then looked over at James. “We’ve got the town, we need to send some men back to get the camp. We need Molly, Mary and Lily especially, but they all need to start packing and moving out here before they freeze to death.”

“It hasn’t snowed yet, there’s no need to be so dramatic.”

“The camp is real?” Amos asked, and James answered in the affirmative as he had every other time someone had asked him that question.

“Have you found Peter yet? I need to speak with him about the horses.” James looked around for Peter again, but there was still no sign of him.

“No, I haven’t seen him and I’m getting worried. What if one of the men got away? Hurt Pete or something?”

“We’ll find who Peter was with and ask them.” James said. “And send riders back to collect the healers. They’ll need to get here as fast as they can. The rest of the camp can follow.”

“I’ll arrange that,” Remus said, walking off to do just that.

“We also need to find a place to keep all the injured and sick.” James said, looking over around at the building available.

“The tavern has a dance hall,” Amos said, nodding at a large building up ahead. “It’s large and clean. Everyone should fit in there far more nicely than they did in the jail.” James nodded and they all started toward the tavern, James directing the people around him to move as well.

After they emptied out the jail, people had started coming out of their homes. There were many shouts of joy when families were reunited, either with men from the camp or the jail. There didn’t seem to be a single person there who had supported Riddle or his men. That made something in James ease.

His people hadn’t chosen this. They weren’t turning against one another at large. Riddle only controlled a small faction, and if they had the majority behind them, then it would be easier to cut Riddle down.

oOo

Lily’s fingers were numb, and she was praying to anyone who was listening that the overcast above them, wasn’t going to lead to snow. They didn’t need snow, not now. The children were getting the last of the berries, Hestia and a few other women were digging up the last of the turnips, and anyone who could shoot one of the bows that were still at the camp, was trying to find an animal that they could eat and then use to keep warm.

It had only been three days since they left, and Lily knew that it was likely that whatever was going to happen, had already happened. It only took two days to get to Godric’s Hollow, though everyone else thought that they’d be traveling a week to get to Hogsmeade. Lily was a ball of nerves all day, knowing that that was when James was in danger.

She was sitting at the fire with Harry and Grace, trying to keep them warm, and regain feeling in her fingers, when two horses came flying toward the camp. She stood up, clutching Grace to her chest tightly, and reached one hand down, wrapping her fingers around Harry’s shoulder.

It was Benjy and Bertram, and they looked a bit worse for wear.

“Daddy?” Scarlett had been sitting on the same log as Lily, next to Mary, who had grown used to the attachment that the girl had for her.

Benjy slid off the horse and pressed a kiss to the top of Scarlett’s head as she wrapped her arms around him. “Where’s Molly?” He asked, looking around.

“I’m over here,” Molly called, her voice tight. Everyone was on edge as they waited for one of the men to tell them why they’d rushed back like they had. Lily needed to know where everyone else was.

“We need you and Mary and Lily. We took Godric’s Hollow, and everyone is fine, but there are a lot of sick and injured people that were being kept in the jail.”

_We took Godric’s Hollow._

_Everyone is fine._

That was a lot of information to process.

“You took Godric’s Hollow?” Lily dug her hand into her hair and tried to wrap her head around it.

“We took the Hollows.” Bertram confirmed. There was a beat of silence and then cheering erupted all around them. Lily covered her mouth with her hand and sat back down on the log. She took a few deep breaths, trying not to let herself cry. She could hear people asking questions about what town they’d actually taken, asking for confirmation and why they’d kept it a secret, but she wasn’t going to answer any questions right now.

She pulled Harry close and kissed his head. “Dad’s alright?” He asked.

“Your dad is alright,” Lily nodded. “Everyone is alright.” She added, kissing him again and then pressing a kiss to Grace. She hadn’t realized just how truly terrified she’d been that something was going to go wrong until she realized that nothing had gone wrong. They’d taken the city, they’d freed some of their people, they were going to help them.

She looked up so that she could ask the men some more questions, but Molly beat her to it.

“So what is the plan?” She had her hands on her hips, Ginny clinging to her skirts and Ron not far from her side either. “You said you need me, Mary and Lily?”

“We need healers. The rest of the camp can start packing and follow in a day or so. But these people need help as soon as they can get it. I’m not sure they’d last a week if you were to come with everyone.” Benjy said softly, his hand running through Scarlett’s curls. Lily realized what he was saying then, why he was talking like that. They needed to go fast. They couldn’t bring their children with them.

And for some reason, her heart went out to Scarlett more than her own children.

Emmeline was already walking toward her before Lily could even come up with a plan. “I’ve missed watching after the young prince.” She said, ruffling Harry’s hair as she sat down next to him on the log. “And I was quite excited to care for the princess as well.” And then Marlene was there as well.

“I’m not as good with babies as Em,” She said honestly, “But then again, few are.”

Lily smiled at the two of them. “Marlene, don’t you think you should go to Godric’s Hollow as well? They need healers, and you’ve good with medicine.” Marlene sighed and then looked at Emmeline.

“You should go.”

“I suppose.”

“Well I can help look after the children.” Amelia Bones stepped forward and Lily’s brow shot up.

“There’s quite a few of them who’ll need tending too.” Lily said. “My two, Molly’s seven and Scarlett of course.”

“Ten?” Amelia blanched and then cleared her throat, standing up straighter. “Well, still. I’ll help however I can.”

“Thank you, Amelia.” But she handed Grace to Emmeline. Looking back at Benjy she asked, “We need to leave now, I take it?” He nodded. Molly was talking with Bill and Charlie, who looked mortified to learn that neither of their parents were going to be around for the first time in their lives. Harry was used to being with someone other than Lily or James, and so many people had held Grace since they’d been here, that Lily was sure that she’d be fine as well. But Bill and Charlie, who were thirteen and eleven, had never had to take care of their little siblings without a parent around them.

Scarlett gave Benjy another hug and then rushed over to do the same to Mary. “I’ll see you in a few days, little one.” Mary said, holding her tightly. “And I’m sure you’ll be so busy that it’ll go by very quickly.”

“I’ll do as much as I can to make sure we leave as soon as possible.” Scarlett promised.

Mary nodded and nodded toward Ginny, “You think you can help out the lass as well?” She asked. “I don’t think she’ll be too fond of Molly not being around.”

“Of course I can,” And then Scarlett was rushing over to where Ginny was. Molly had kissed each of her children a couple of times and Lily could feel herself starting to tear up, so she had to tear her gaze away.

“I can’t come with you?” Harry asked, his little brow furrowed.

“I’m afraid not, love. You’ll stay here with Emmeline and help everyone pack up to leave.”

“Somewhere warmer?” He asked.

“Well, we will be warmer there. Hopefully.” She pulled him close to her chest and kissed him goodbye. “Keep an eye on your sister please. And keep the Weasleys company.”

“I will, mum.” He promised, kissing her cheek before pulling back.

Lily said a quick goodbye to Grace, keeping in mind that she would see both of her children again in only a few days, and then she stood up again and started toward where they kept the horses. They didn’t have too many, but they had enough.

“It’ll be a long and hard ride, but we don’t have bulky supplies to worry about,” Bertram was telling her or Mary, or maybe Molly. Lily ran her hand down the neck of the closest mare and tried to calm herself. They had brought good news. Even if they had to rush there to help the people that had been being mistreated, Benjy and Bertram had brought good news.

James had taken back the town. They were one step closer to going home, to freeing the rest of their people.

“You know how to ride a horse, Lila?” Benjy said, grabbing a saddle and moving toward the horse that Lily was standing near. She turned and smiled at him when he used her fake name.

“Grew up in the country, didn’t I? Though I’ll admit that it’s been a while since I’ve rode one properly.”

“You’ll be sore tomorrow then.”

“Are you pretending that you won’t be?” She asked, raising a brow. He chuckled and shrugged a shoulder.

“I was pretending that I wasn’t already sore, actually.”

Soon, the horses were all ready to go, and it felt like Benjy and Bertram had only been in the camp for ten minutes before the six of them were rushing back out toward Godric’s Hollow, the rest of the town left to pack up what they needed and get ready to move out as well.

oOo

It was long after dark when James and Sirius were walking toward Arden Weasley, who had somehow managed to get injured even though he’d been scouting the city with Peter and some others to make sure that they hadn’t missed anyone.

Arden hadn’t told anyone what had happened yet either, he had said that he was waiting to talk to James first. And so after James had helped everyone into the tavern’s dance hall, and made sure that his the Fortescue’s were going to be alright, he grabbed Sirius- who still hadn’t managed to locate Peter- and steeled himself for bad news as he walked up to Arden.

Arden was Arthur’s brother, and they looked very similar. Arden was slightly taller, younger, and scruffier, but their general build was the same, and their eyes were the same color blue. Arthur was sitting with him on the steps outside of the town’s church and they were talking quietly to one another, both looking quite distressed. Arden held his side and his breathing was labored, but he didn’t look in danger of passing out, so James didn’t think he needed to worry about him immediately.

“What happened to Peter?” Sirius asked, walking up to the brothers and crossing his arms over his chest. As always, James didn’t agree with the way that Sirius went about talking to people, and so he walked up and put a hand on Sirius’s shoulder.

“Are you alright, Arden?” He asked, crouching down so he could get a better look at the area around his wound. He knew nothing about medicine or healing people, but he could tell that there wasn’t too much blood gushing out, and that seemed like a good thing.

“Peter stabbed me.” He said quietly, and James had the wind knocked out of him. “I didn’t want to start telling people before I told you. Both of you,” He looked over at Sirius.

“What do you mean he stabbed you?” Sirius asked, his voice cold. “He tripped over something and his knife fell into you? I mean, whatever he did, I’m sure it was an accident.” He didn’t sound sure, just angry, and James thought that had something to do with the look of pity that Arden was wearing.

“Hear him out, Sirius,” Arthur said, putting a hand on his brother’s back.

“He started acting all skittish when he realized that we were coming here instead of Hogsmeade. He kept muttering something under his breath and then we got here and he kept saying that we couldn’t get caught.” Arden shook his head. “I didn’t know what that meant. But then he saw that you’d captured Dolohov and he kept asking me if I thought you were going to execute him. I told him that you were probably going to question him for information.” He took a deep shaky breath, it was clear that talking this much was taxing, but James needed to know how this story of his was going to end. The sinking sensation in his stomach told him that he already knew though.

“I told him that everything was going to be alright. That things were looking up for us, and that we were going to have quite the advantage now- he just kept getting more panicked and shaky. I don’t know if he meant to kill me, or if he knew that if he didn’t do something then I would have followed after him.” He coughed, and then winced, pressing his hand against his side slightly harder. “But he realized that we’d taken the town, that you had Dolohov, that we’d tricked Riddle’s men, and then he took off.”

“Are you suggesting that Peter-  _Peter_ is the traitor?” James couldn’t disconcert the emotion in Sirius’ voice.

“That’s the only thing that makes sense, isn’t it?” Arden asked quietly, leaning against his brother now.

“No. That doesn’t make sense at all. Peter has been with me from the beginning. We’ve been traveling around together saving people from towns like this, he wouldn’t turn around and put everyone in harm’s way.” He was shaking his head and then he locked eyes with Arden. “Why are you lying? What did you do to him?” James stood up and put a hand on Sirius’s shoulder.

“Enough,” He said, “Arthur, get Arden to the infirmary. Molly and the others will be here soon enough.”

Arthur nodded, not sparing another look at Sirius before helping his brother to his feet and walking toward the tavern.

“I don’t believe him.” Sirius spat, his arms tightening over his chest as he looked after their retreating figures. “I don’t believe him for a second.”

“Then what do you think happened?” James asked, trying not to sound as though he’d already written Peter off.

“I don’t know what happened! But I know that Peter wouldn’t turn on me like that. I know he wouldn’t throw away everything that we’ve done and go and work for Riddle. He wouldn’t do that.”

“He had been awfully interested in what our plan was going to be to find out who the traitor was.” James pointed out.

“A lot of people were interested in that.” Sirius almost shouted at him. “He was worried about it, same as everyone!”

“Sure, but the rest of them haven’t just been accused of stabbing someone and running off.”

“This isn’t the army, running away isn’t a crime.”

“Stabbing someone is though,” James said, but then he sighed. “Look, how about we go and talk to Dolohov, see if he’s got any answers for us?”

“That sounds like a bloody brilliant idea.” Sirius muttered, and started toward the jail. James took a deep breath and then followed him. He wasn’t sure how this was going to go, but it made sense to him that Peter was the traitor. Not emotionally, he didn’t understand it emotionally. But logically, he could line everything up and see that it was Peter. Hopefully Dolohov could give him some of the ‘why.’

The smell of the jail had greatly improved simply by taking all the people out of it, but that was a shame since James would prefer the three men in front of him to be as uncomfortable as possible. Definitely more uncomfortable than they’d made the people that they’d shoved in here.

“Ah, there you are,” Dolohov said from his cell. All three of them had been given their own cell. James didn’t think that it was possible for them to break out, but he didn’t want to give them the opportunity to come up with a plan. Moody had been sitting in here with them, so they couldn’t say anything without him hearing this way.

“I was wondering when you were going to grace us with your presence.” Another man that went by the name of Nott said. James was surprised to see them both here in the same town. They were both high nobles, and to have captured both of them in one go was quite lucky he believed.

“I want to know everything you know about Peter Pettigrew.” Sirius snapped, looking at Not and Dolohov and the third man, who James didn’t recognize.

“Peter? He’s a bit of a rat, isn’t he? Always scurrying about. I don’t trust him.” Nott shrugged.

“Especially after this morning.” Dolohov sighed. “Did he just come out and tell you that he was giving us information? Or did you somehow work it out for yourselves? Is that why he told us you were going to Hogsmeade?”

Sirius’s face was pale, and James heard Moody’s wooden leg crack against the stone floor.

“Peter told them? It was Peter?” Moody said, sounding bewildered. James could have sworn that he heard Sirius growl.

“Why?” James asked, looking back and forth between the three men. “Why would he work for you when he’s been nothing but helpful to the common people?”

Nott shrugged, and James didn’t believe his nonchalance or his play at being ignorant. “Perhaps he wanted to be on the winning side.”

“Says the man in the cage,” James could keep the sneer off his face. He didn’t want to be in here anymore, it was even darker now that the sun had gone down, and despite the fact that the smell had dissipated, it was somehow more unpleasant than before.

He put a hand on Sirius’s shoulder and nodded toward the door. Sirius moved quickly.

“I don’t know why he would do it.” Sirius said, his voice still sharp.

“Perhaps they were holding something over him.” James suggested, though he couldn’t think of something they could be holding over him that would justify what he’d done. He knew that there was no reason he’d ever turn his people over to Riddle without putting up one hell of a fight. Especially if he were still able to live among his people.  _Why_ had Peter done this?

“I’m going to find him, and I’ll get an answer out of him.” Sirius promised, and James was glad to see him walk off toward the tavern instead of the woods. Because he really wanted to wait for Lily to show up, and didn’t much want to follow Sirius around the woods after dark, chasing after someone who they just learned wanted to do them both harm.

oOo

Lily was glad to find that riding a horse had come back to her pretty quickly. Which was good, as they were riding rather fast. It wasn’t too far to the Hollows, it only took James and his men two days because they traveled on foot mostly, and the horses they did, had to pull heavy carts.

But Benjy told them that they were almost there after the sun set. It had only been a few hours, though her legs would protest her use of the word ‘only.’

The moon was in the sky, shining brightly, when the town came into view. Lily had only been here a handful of times, but it had a picturesque quality to it that made it hard to forget. From this entrance of the town, she could see the small pond growing out of the surrounding forest, willow trees that still had many of their leaves despite the frost let their branches sway in the breeze. The white church stood in the middle of town, and the houses that had been built around it, were lovely and looked more like homes than manors, despite the fact that this was a popular place to stay among the nobles.

She started scanning the streets as soon as they slowed their horses. Benjy was looking about too, he said something about the Tavern and a dance hall, but Lily wasn’t paying attention, not completely. She knew that she wouldn’t have a chance to say more then ‘hullo’ to James before she needed to rush off to help with the injured as much as she could, but still. She really wanted to say ‘hullo.’

But she didn’t see him before they reached the tavern and Benjy got down, tied his horse to the post and then turned toward Lily to help her down as well. She held onto his forearms as he lowered her to the ground, and was embarrassed to say that her legs shook when he let go of her. It had been a  _very_ long time since she’d last rode a horse.

She followed Molly into the temporary infirmary, Marlene and Mary close on her heels.

She was slightly overwhelmed, not only by the number of people who were laying on the floor of the large room that they’d been put in, but by the smell of the room. By the look of these people. They had not been taken care of in the least. None of them had been bathed, none of them had been fed properly. As her eyes fell over a ghost of a girl who couldn’t have been more than a few years younger than her, she thought it was a miracle that these people were still alive. 

Lily sighed and ran a hand through her hair before accepting a hair ribbon from Molly and tying it up to keep it from her face. “We’ll need a lot of water.” She muttered.

“We might need the whole bloody pond.” Mary agreed.

Marlene seemed the most disturbed by the room. Molly, Mary and Lily had been there to take care of the wounded after the first time they’d tried to take the city, but Marlene had never seen injury in this quantity.

“Take a breath, Marlene.” Lily said, reaching out and rubbing her back. “Go and instruct some men to start boiling water, and then come back and help when you can.” Marlene blinked at her and then turned on her heel to do as she was asked. Molly gave Lily a nod to let her know she had done well with Marlene, and then the three women walked into the room and started to do what they could.

“Lily?” It was almost an hour after she’d arrived before she heard James’ voice calling out her name. She turned around and saw him standing at the edge of the room. He looked like he wanted to smile, but this wasn’t a place where one could wear a smile, the atmosphere just seemed to steal them away.

Lily turned back to the young boy that she was helping, quickly finished tying his bandage, patted him on the cheek and then stood up and walked across the room.

It felt odd for her to walk across the room to greet him so somberly. Though, she knew that it would be in poor taste to act as excited as she felt. She reached over and took his hand and he started walking out the door, into the tavern portion of the building, making sure to get entirely out of view of the dance hall before he pulled her by the hand and wrapped his arms around her.

She smiled widely as she buried her face in his chest, her arms going up to wrap around his neck. “You did it,” She said quietly, her hands clutching at the collar of his tunic. “You took back the town.”

“It’s only one town of many,” He said, though she could hear the smile in his voice. “We still have a long way to go.”

“Sure, but now we have much more than we did yesterday. We don’t have to worry about freezing in the middle of the woods either. And we have more people- you saved our old friends.”

“I couldn’t have done it without help,”

She pulled back, still smiling. “Just let me tell you that I’m proud of you.”

His eyes darted around her face, and she didn’t know what he was looking for, but she let him search for a moment before she stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him.

She’d been so worried that something bad was going to happen again, that this time he wasn’t going to get out of it with only a dislocated shoulder. But here he was, perfectly and wonderfully unharmed.

She knew that there were many people around them, and that she couldn’t kiss him for too long, as that would be inappropriate. James seemed to have a harder time remembering that however, because when she decided that it was probably time to end the kiss, he only tightened his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. And of course, that made it a bit more difficult for Lily to remember that there  _were_ people around them, even if the majority of people were out of view.

She moved her hands to his chest and reluctantly gave him a slight push, “James,” She said quietly, trying to remind him to keep it chaste. He moved his lips from hers and peppered her cheeks with more kisses.

“Sorry,” He said, “I forgot myself.” He turned his head and rested his chin on her shoulder.

“I don’t really mind,” She chuckled, biting her lip. “But for everyone else’ sake…”

When he pulled back, there was something about him that seemed calmer. “Are the kids alright?”

Lily nodded, “I told Harry that he should help the Weasleys, because I don’t think any of them have ever been without both of their parents before. Harry knows Emmeline, and he used to be without both of us quite frequently, so he’ll be fine. And I’m not too worried about Grace, though it does feel especially strange to not have her around.”

“It’s only for a few days.” He assured her.

“I know, but I’ve gotten used to having her right here,” She put a hand on her chest. He took her hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it.

“It’s been nice having them with us all the time.”

“I am very glad that I can help these people though,” She said, entwining her fingers with his and letting their hands drop between them.

James looked around the room and then back at Lily. “We found out who the traitor was.” He sighed, running his free hand through his hair, which was already sticking up in every direction.

“You did? Good, I’m glad that the plan worked.”

“It was Peter.” He said quietly, and Lily flinched.

“Peter?” That didn’t make any sense. She hadn’t spoken to the man that often, but she knew that he was close with Sirius and Regulus, and that he’d helped almost all of the people get to the camp.

“Yeah,” James sighed, “He uh, he was with Arden scouting the perimeter of the city to make sure that no one got out, and when he realized that we were going to take the city, he- he stabbed Arden and ran.”

“Stabbed him? That’s how he got hurt?” She looked over her should, but she couldn’t see Arden through the wall. “He and Arthur wouldn’t tell Molly and she was getting frustrated with them.”

“Sirius is angry.” James said, and Lily thought that it was probably unnecessary to say that, of course Sirius was angry.

“Of course Sirius is angry,” She said aloud this time. “Peter was a very close friend of his. I’m angry and I didn’t even know him that well.”

“I almost told him that we were coming here,” James looked down at his feet. “I almost told him because he was so close to Sirius. The only reason that he didn’t know, was because he just happened to not be there when Sirius, Moody, Dumbledore and I came up with the plan. Otherwise….” He trailed off and Lily knew exactly what would have happened. It would have been worse than the first time.

“Well then we need to thank our lucky star that he wasn’t there.”

“Lucky star? I think it’s supposed to be ‘stars.’”

“We haven’t really been lucky enough to have more than one star looking out for us,” She gave him a small smile and sighed. “But we’ll get there. We’ll get the stars on our side again.” James nodded and looked around the room.

“I think everyone here could use a bit more luck.”

“I agree.” Lily squeezed his hand. “I suppose I should get back in there.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” She shook her head.

“Marlene’s already recruited quite a few people. You can sleep,” She reached up to brush her fingers over his cheek. “I think you’ve earned a good night’s rest.”

He shook his head, “I’ll sleep when you do.” He shifted from one foot to the other and then looked her in the eye. “Haven’t been able to sleep much the last couple nights. Not without you.” She felt her cheeks warm and she quickly leaned up to kiss his cheek.

“I love you, James.”

“I love you, Lily.”

oOo

The next morning, a good-sized party of men and women, James and Lily both among them, started back toward the camp so that they could help to pack everything up and move everyone here. They had many more horses available now, so they took as many as they could. They didn’t need to ride like that had the day before, but still, it seemed like it took hardly any time at all now that they weren’t all walking.

James didn’t know how far along everything was going to be, but when they rode into camp, all of the hammocks had been taken down, all of the firewood had been loaded, and all of the remaining food had been packed away as well.

“We’re still working on packing up the clothing.” Hestia told Lily as she walked up to the king and queen. “And bedding. Is there enough room for all of us in this town?”

“Oh most definitely.” Lily nodded and looked over to James.

“Yes, many of the houses have been abandoned when their occupants fled for safety, and a number more because they are owned by Riddle’s men.” There was also the house that James’ family would stay in when they came on holiday. “I’ve never seen this town so empty.”

“It won’t be that way for long,” Lily smiled at him. “I’m going to go and find Emmeline and Grace.”

“Em is feeding the kids lunch up at Molly’s I think,” Hestia laughed and shook her head. “You should have seen Amelia trying to help her out with all of the little ones. Ginny threw quite a fit after Molly left and Em’s hands were full of course, so Amelia went to pick her up and Ginny tried to bite her.” Lily’s eyes widened.

“Ginny’s never tried to bite anyone before.”

“No she hasn’t,” Hestia agreed. “Amelia is not very good with the children.”

“I don’t know if that’s fair,” Lily shrugged. “I mean, she probably just wanted her mother. It’s hard to work a small child down from that.”

“Harry didn’t have a problem with it,” Hestia cocked a brow. “He just walked up, pulled at Amelia’s skirts and told her to put Ginny down. Then him and George took Ginny’s hands and started walking her up to the house. It was completely adorable.” Lily smiled softly and clenched at her skirts. She was glad that Harry had been helpful.

“Good, I told him to help out.”

“Well he’s been very helpful.” Hestia grinned.

“Did he give anyone a hard time?” James asked. “Or Grace?”

“No, all the kids did very well. Em even got Grace to sleep real quick. That was the only thing she was worried about.”

Lily nodded, “She’s not nearly as fussy as Harry was.” Then she nodded at Hestia and started off toward the house.

“Are you both staying?”

“Until everything is packed up. Hopefully we’ll head out tomorrow morning. The faster we get all the kids in out of the cold, the better.”

“It was pretty brutal last night,” Hestia nodded. “I was glad that Em asked me to help her with the kids in the house. That fireplace keeps everything nice and warm.”

“Good. There will be lots of fireplaces in town, I’m glad someone thought to pack the wood.”

And then they started packing up the rest of the necessary materials. The rest of the medical supplies had their own cart, blankets and coats had their own cart- though there weren’t many coats to pack because almost all of them were being worn.

James was in the process of carrying an armload of bedrolls toward one of the carts when he realized he had a shadow. When he looked over, he expected to see his son, but was instead greeted by the bright and smiling faces of two young girls. He recognized them as Scarlett and the little girl who had shouted out about the princess in the crowd. Grace.

“Hullo there, you two. Can I help you with something?” He was glad to see that Scarlett had found a friend her own age. Lily had told him that when Benjy wasn’t around, she had tended to stick with either Mary or Lily. But with the three adults absent, it looked as though someone her own age had found her.

“Well, where’s my dad?” Scarlett asked, though she didn’t seem worried.

“He’s back in town. I promised him that I would make sure you got to him in one piece.” He smiled at her, hoping that she’d be alright with that answer. She nodded.

“He’s very helpful, I’m not surprised he stayed in town.”

“Molly put him to work taking care of the sick people.” James grinned.

“Is there a lot of sick people?” Grace asked, her brow knit together.

“Not too many, most of them just have scratches and the like,” He shrugged, setting down the bedrolls in the wagon.

“Scratches?” Scarlett gave him a look and put a hand on her hip. She didn’t believe him.

“Some of them are bigger than others, but yes.”

“Did those men hurt them?” Grace asked, and James looked at the two of them. “The one’s with the mask.”

“Where is your mum, Grace?”

“She died.” James blanched and looked around the camp.

“Well then who’s that women you’re always with?”

“My aunt. Mum died a while back. She got sick and then they took her.” James shifted his weight from one foot to the other, and then ran a hand through his hair.

“I’m very sorry to hear that.”

“Your mum and dad got sick too, didn’t they? That’s how they died?”

James nodded, not sure what to say to this little girl. He knew what it felt like to lose a parent, and she was acting as though she was unbothered, but he knew that couldn’t be true.

“I love Aunt Carrie though,” She said. “And she’s having a baby soon! She helped Ms. Emmeline take care of Princess Grace.” She smiled a bit extra when she said the princess’ name, and James smiled, remembering how excited she had been to learn that she shared a name with the princess.

“Well then I’m going to have to thank your Aunt Carrie.” He started walking back to one of the huts, and the girls just bounded along after him.

“Are there other children to play with in town?” Scarlett asked.

“There are a few, yes,” James nodded. “And a pond that you can all play on once it’s frozen over.” Grace ‘oo’ed’ at that.

“I haven’t skated on ice in a long time,” Grace giggled, walking into the hut behind James and heading over to roll up one of the bed rolls without being asked. James grinned at her.

“It’s been since last year, yeah?” He guessed.

“Definitely at least that long.” She agreed, scooping up the roll in her arms and handing it to Scarlett and then walked over to fold up a few blankets. James started working on the larger mat. He wondered what was going to happen to all of these huts. Would someone come across them in a few years, find plants growing out of the cracks, animals taking shelter under the barren tops?

The three of them made their way back to the cart when the hut was clear of all cloth material.

“Daddy!” And there was Harry. James turned toward the sound of his voice and dropped to his knees, so he could catch his son in a hug. “I missed you so much!”

James held him close and stood up, keeping him in his arms. “I missed you too, Harry.” He pulled back, so he could look over his face. It hadn’t been as long as last time, but he still wanted to make sure that he hadn’t missed anything. “You didn’t grow too much while I was gone, did you?”

“I don’t think so,” He shook his head and looked down at his hands, as though that would give him some indication. “I don’t feel any bigger.”

“Good.” James kissed his cheek. “You’ve been getting too big lately.”

“You sound like, mum now.” Harry cocked his head to the side. “She said that I grew too big and she saw me  _yesterday_. I don’t think I grew much last night, but maybe I did if you both think so.” He looked down at his hands again, frowning. James laughed at him and ruffled his hair.

“I’m proud of you, buddy.” James said, and Harry looked up at him.

“I helped everyone as much as I could,” He said, a big smile coming over his face. “Mum told me to, so I did.” He pressed his lips together for a moment. “I played a lot too, but I made sure that Ginny was playing with us.”

“I’m very glad that you were kind to her,” James said. “It’s important to be kind.”

And then He caught sight of Lily walking down the pathway with Grace, chatting pleasantly with Gwen and Emmeline. James had known that he was content back in town, when he had Lily in his arms and knew that all his men were safe for the time being. But just then, his heart felt fuller than it had in years.

Things were looking up.


	12. Alluding to Love

_“Every heart needs a cutting part sharper than a blade to stab agony”_  
_― Munia Khan_

Moving into the town of Godric’s Hollow was chaotic, but it went about as well as it could have. The people who had still been living in the town, were nothing but helpful, grateful and generous. They were more than happy to open their arms and homes to the people who had been in the camp. It didn’t take too long for everyone to have been given a place to stay where they would have a roof over their head, and walls that weren’t stuffed with moss. They were now properly protected against the coming winter, and with the victory of having taken back the city, they were pretty happy as well.

James opened the door of his childhood summer home, and Harry quickly raced in. It was slightly bigger than the houses in the surrounding area, and James’ mother had laughed when he’d asked her why. Apparently, that was to show status. The king and queen couldn’t have a small home, even if there were only three of them at the time.

There were four of them now, but the house was still too big. And everything was covered in sheets. James was pretty sure that no one but the upkeep staff, had been here in the last five years.

Lily reached out and squeezed his hand. “What are you thinking about?” She asked, and he looked around the room again before smiling at her.

“I always wanted to come here in the winter when I was a kid.” He shrugged. “I guess I was thinking about that. Do you know Alice Fortescue?” Lily nodded. “I was friends with her a bit when I was younger. Her and her family live down the road, and they always had iced cream at their home. And Alice was good at forgetting I was a Prince. The noble’s sons up at the castle couldn’t do that, so it was hard to play with them. I have a lot of good memories in this town.”

“My family and I only came up here a half a dozen times or so.” Lily said. “My sister wanted to get married here, under the willow tree. It would have been beautiful.”

“It would have,” James nodded. He’d seen a few different people get married there when he was younger. “Why didn’t she?”

“Her in-laws told her it wouldn’t be proper.” She shook her head. “I hated that they did that to her. Took away her joy in simple things in the name of doing what’s ‘proper.’”

James knew what it was like to have to do the proper thing instead of what he wanted to do, so he nodded. “I’m sorry that you and your sister aren’t close.”

“We used to be.” She sighed, and then Harry ran back up to them and jumped up and down.

“You used to live here, dad!” He asked, reaching his hands up so that James would pick him up.

“Occasionally.” James grinned, leaning down and lifting Harry into his arm. “I lived in the castle most of the time, but this was one of my favorite places to be.”

“I love it,” Harry grinned. “Everything is covered in blankets! It’s like a fort!” James and Lily laughed.

“Well let’s go and find you a bedroom. Should you share with Grace?”

“Oh definitely.” Harry nodded, suddenly serious. “That way I can make sure she’s okay.” It was a nice sentiment, especially from a three-year-old, but there was hardly anything that could wake Harry up after he went to sleep.

James looked at Lily and Grace, who started following James up a staircase. At the top, there was a long hallway of doors, but James opened the first door and stepped inside. This had been his room once he’d gotten older. There was a large bed in the middle of the room, a balcony overlooking the pond to the right, and to the left there was a small archway leading to another room. It had been a sitting room when he was younger. The shelves that used to hold his books were now mostly empty since he’d had them brought up to the castle, but it was cozy, with only one window on the back wall.

“We could move a bed in here for Harry.” James said, looking over at Lily, who smiled at him and nodded. “And I packed the bassinet that Molly lent us. We’ll put that in here too. Or it can go out in the other room.”

“You said I could share a room with her.” Harry reminded him.

“She’s still very close in here,” Lily smiled, “I’ll be able to hear her when she wakes up.”

Over the next few hours James had rounded up Remus and Sirius, the later of which was still fairly angry about Peter, and had them help him move things around in the house. Sirius made a few jokes about how they were wasting space by all sleeping in the same room and James shrugged and offered one of the other rooms to both of them.

“We’d feel better having you both close at hand. If something were to happen.” Lily said.

“And we also don’t want to have the house to ourselves when everyone else is sharing.” James explained further.

Sirius scratched at the back of his neck and then shrugged, “I suppose. But you’ll have to offer to Regulus too, otherwise he’ll throw a fit.”

“Of course,” Lily grinned. “You should know that we’ve also offered our home to the Weasleys, and they’ve accepted.”

Remus laughed and nodded. “Well then this seems like it’ll be one of the more fun houses.”

James laughed as well, glad that he felt as though he could laugh here.

oOo

After making sure that everything and everyone had a place in her new home, Lily headed back to the infirmary. She wondered what this town had been like last year. If James’ memory was anything to go off of, it was probably fairly wonderful. Even now, when it was overly crowded and bristling with nervous energy, it had a certain charm to it that seemed untouchable. She would have loved to have memories of the place like James did.

She’d been here to visit her grandmother, her father’s mum. She lived on the outskirts of town, and died when Lily was twelve. And even those memories didn’t seem to touch the charm.

She walked into the tavern and saw Rosmerta behind the bar, talking animatedly with a man named Tom who Lily had patched up about an hour after first arriving here the other day. Neither of them was from the Hollows, but they had found a bar without a barkeeper, and so they seemed to wish to adopt the bar together. Lily thought that might make Sirius smile at least.

 She walked over to the Fortescue family, all of whom had been telling Molly that they were well enough to go home since they’d been brought in here. “Gerald,” Molly was saying as Lily got within earshot. “Your leg was nearly falling off when I got here. I’m not going to let you walk on it any time soon, so you’d best get used to it.”

“And why am I still here?” Alice asked from the bedroll next to him. Lily looked her over and was glad to see that she had some color returning to her cheeks now. She still looked like a ghost of a person and would greatly benefit from extra food over the next couple of weeks, but she was doing better.

“As soon as I can get your fever to break, I’ll stop telling you that you have to stay.” Molly’s voice softened. Lily knew that fevers scared Molly more than open wounds. Molly was a genius when it came to stitching people up and getting rid of infection. But a fever that didn’t stem from an injury? Well she couldn’t see inside a person and work out what was broken, so she got nervous.

And Lily got nervous whenever Molly did. It was Marlene who had proven herself to be most useful around fever patients. She’d marched into the forest a couple hours after she’d finally returned to the infirmary, and then walked out with half a dozen different plants, ranging from boneset to ginger. She’d had teas prepared for half the room before Lily and Molly could finish stitching anyone up.

And the teas that Marlene made were working for the most part, but a few patients were proving to be more difficult than others. Alice among them.

“The way you look at me, it’s like you think I’m keeping my fever around just to spite you.” Alice sighed, and her mother ran her hand over her face, causing Alice to closer her eyes at the cool touch. Abigail had been released a couple of days ago, but hadn’t left her daughter or husband’s sides.

“No one is blaming you for being sick,” Abigail said, “Only difficult.”

“I’m not difficult.” Alice muttered.

“Of course you are,” Gerald chuckled from his cot.

“I just feel awfully lazy laying around in bed when I don’t feel sick. And I know that everyone else is doing important things outside.”

Her mother shifted and then sighed. “Would you like me to go out and see what’s going on? Would that help with your restlessness?”

“Oh would you?” Alice asked, perking up slightly. “Maybe you could bring something here for me to do.”

“Like what?” Abigail asked.

“I don’t know,” Alice sighed, “But something.”

Her mother looked back and forth between her family and then left the room before she could change her mind.

Lily walked over and took Abigail’s spot, wiping her hand against her skirt before touching Alice’s forehead. It was lower than it had been when she left, and that seemed like a good sign. She picked up the teacup that had been discarded. “You should drink the rest of this.” She said, seeing that it wasn’t yet empty.

“It’s not very good,” Alice said, scrunching up her nose.

“It’s medicine, it’s not meant to taste good.” Lily offered her a grin.

“It’s tea.”

“It’s medicinal tea.”

“It’s gross tea.”

Gerald laughed from his bedroll, “Good luck, my queen.”

Lily looked over her shoulder and smiled at him before turning back to Alice. “You know, maybe this is why you think people are blaming you for still being sick. You’d rather have a fever than drink the tea.” Alice scoffed at her. “Perhaps you don’t mind laying about.”

Alice took the teacup from her and downed the rest of it in one gulp. “I don’t like being ill, but I don’t like horrible tasting tea either.”

“Well I’ll suggest to Marlene to try something else for you next time.” Lily grinned, glad that she’d gotten Alice to take her medicine. “Though we don’t have a full apothecary. Hestia and Mary looked around the one down the street and it looked as though it were ransacked.”

“It was,” Gerald frowned, shaking his head. “I don’t know what those men were looking for, or if they were only trying to deplete what little we had, but they took whatever they wanted.”

Lily sighed and pushed back her hair. She’d forgotten her ribbon today. “Well, at least we have Marlene to tell us what we need then.”

“If only she were better at making tea,” Alice shrugged and pushed back her own shorter brown hair.

“Yes, that would make her a better healer.” Gerald rolled his eyes at his daughter and twinge of pain went through Lily as she remembered how much she missed her own father. She needed to know if him and her mother were alright, but there was no way for her to find out. Not unless she just happened across them, and that was unlikely to say the least.

“I don’t mean to be rude to you,” Alice said, reaching out and patting Lily’s arm, misinterpreting her look. “James went on about how wonderful you were when he came to visit me the other day and so you don’t deserve that, I know.” Lily smiled, thinking about James talking about her to Alice- or anyone really. Did he feel the need to tell everyone things about her the same way she did about him? She hoped so.

“Well thank you, but you’re sick so you can act however you want. That’s what my mum used to say to me.”

“I like that rule,” Alice looked over at her father. “I’m adopting that rule. If I’m sick, I’m allowed to do whatever I want.”

“And how would that be different then when you’re not sick?” He asked, raising his brow. Lily laughed and tapped her fingers against the teacup she was still holding.

“Alright, so it wouldn’t be that different,” Alice allowed, shrugging a shoulder.

“James told me that he liked that about you when you were kids,” Lily smiled. “That you did whatever you wanted and treated him like a regular kid.”

“Well we were just kids, and I didn’t really understand what him being the prince meant. The crowned prince at that.” She shook her head. “I had him do some really stupid things too.” She shook her head.

“You almost gave your mother and I a heart attack is what you did,” Gerald sighed, running his hands over his face. “Jumping from trees to see who could get the furthest, swinging from the willow branches into the pond- and in the winter-“

“Neither of us knew that the ice was too thin. And we’re both alive, so it doesn’t need to be talked about.” Lily laughed again and shook her head.

“Well he told me that he was glad for it. All the noblemen’s sons up at the castle were told not to play rough with him and I don’t think he appreciated that.”

“Who would appreciate being treated as though they could break at any moment?” Alice tilted her head to the side. “He was just James when we were kids.” Lily had known of Alice Fortescue for as long as she could remember, but she hadn’t met her until James’ birthday ball the year before they were married. She’s spoke freely then too, seemingly without a care in the world. Lily had admired her for it.

“Alright, I suppose I should go and help someone else out.” Lily said, standing up. “I’ll ask Marlene about the tea though,” She held up the teacup. “I’m sure you’ll be better in no time.”

“Thank you, Queen Lily.” Lily nodded at her and then walked off to find Marlene.

oOo

James, with Harry at his side, walked up the wide street that made up most of Godric’s Hollow. There were shops on either side, and narrower streets that went left and right, but the main street went right through the middle of town, and opened up in front of the church, making a gathering area for the town. James had been to many festivals held on this street and he told Harry bits and pieces about them as he walked.

“Why haven’t I been to a festival?” He asked, resting his head on James’ shoulder. It had been a long ride in and Harry was tired. Especially after how excited he got when they showed him the house. And he got even more excited when the Weasley’s came in to pick out where they would all be sleeping.

But now James had to go and talk with Moody and Dumbledore and Harry hadn’t wanted to stay behind since Lily was still out at the infirmary. Emmeline had tried to entice him with some stories, but he’d asked James if he could come along and he couldn’t say no to him.

He walked up the steps of a bakery that had been abandoned and opened the door for Harry. The shop still smelled sweet, even if there was nothing left in it to eat. And Harry squirmed to be put down so that he could start exploring, instantly more alert.

Dumbledore was seated at a small wooden table near a window, and he smiled when he saw the young prince. Moody scowled though, leaning against a wall across from Dumbledore with his arms over his chest.

“I don’t think this is a conversation that a child needs to hear.” He said, but James only shrugged and took a seat.

“He’s gotten used to being around me and Lily. I didn’t have the heart to tell him to stay at the house. And besides, I asked to talk with the two of you, so I think I would know better whether it’d be inappropriate for him to be here.” He narrowed his brow slightly as Moody started muttering about children having loose lips.

“What did you wish to talk to us about?” Dumbledore asked.

“Well I wanted to get your opinion on something I’ve been talking about with Sirius and Remus.” He said, folding his hands and attempting to sit on the small chair as he’d seen his father sit on his throne as he addressed nobles. “We have a safe place for people to be right now,” He said, looking out the window for a moment. “And I’d like to share that with the rest of my people, not just the ones that happened to be in the camp or in town.”

“Well we’ll be heading out to take back another town soon, won’t we?” Moody asked.

“I hope so,” James nodded. “The sooner the better, but we can only take one town at a time with the numbers that we have, and even still, we can’t have everyone leave because people need to stay back to protect The Hollows when we leave. I’d like to send out riders and have them tell the people that there is a safe place for them if they’d like to come here.”

“How would you assure that these riders only tell people who need help, and not Riddle’s people.”

“Riddle already knows that we’ve taken this town.” James said. “And while I don’t think he’d like us bragging about it, I don’t think he has any of the common people on his side. He’s been nothing but brash and cruel to them, and they are waiting for someone to come along and offer them a helping hand. I’m their king, I should be the one to help them.”

Dumbledore’s hands were laced together, sitting atop his knee. “You remind me of your father,” He said before Moody could say anything else against James’ plan. “A bit more wide-eyed, but still. You’re much like him.” James sat up straighter.

“Thank you, sir.” He said, his voice quiet. Dumbledore nodded.

“You are right, we can’t take more than one town at a time, and it’s not fair to make people wait for us to come to them. They should have the options of coming somewhere safe as well. And it is safe here for the time being.”

“Not if we keep drawing more attention to it,” Moody muttered. “But having more bodies here to defend it wouldn’t be a bad thing.” James smiled as Moody started to look at this from a new angle. James had been saving that point for later, if he continued to have negative things to say, but he seemed to be changing his own mind.

“It’s my job to take care of my people,” James said. “As many of them as I can. I want to send out riders tomorrow. I’d like you both to tell me who you think would be best for the job from each of your groups.” He looked at both of them and waited for their agreement. Dumbledore’s came more quickly than Moody’s of course.

“Which town are we going after next?” Moody asked, even as he moved to stand up.

“Hogsmeade most likely. I know that Sirius is looking forward to speaking with Peter, and it’s not that far from here.”

“They’ll be expecting it.”

“We’ll have to be clever then,” James shrugged. “We’ve lost the element of surprise already, wherever we go, they should expect us.”

“We’ll pass through many smaller towns on the way there,” He pointed out.

“I don’t think Riddle’s men are too concerned with small towns, but we can clear them as we go through, make sure that they’re safe.”

“When are we resuming training?”

“Tomorrow.” James grinned. “We’ve got more weapons and more men so we’ll have to split up. I was hoping you could take the old group so that I could have some time with the new recruits.”

“Sounds good, I don’t have patience for new recruits.” Moody snapped, his wooden leg clanking against the floor as he moved toward the door.

“You don’t have much patience for anyone, Moody,” James grinned, looking back at Dumbledore. “You know, I don’t think I’ve asked you how you managed to get your group together? How you kept them safe?”

Dumbledore sighed, and James heard Moody pause at the doorway. “I’ve known Tom since he was a child.”

“Tom Riddle?” James clarified, because calling this tyrannical maniac by only his first name made him seem like he was supposed to be human. It made him think that Riddle should have a heart, and some common decency. But instead he was inflicting pain on everyone that he came across, taking from people who had nothing and causing everyone to be afraid.

But that went against the very advice that his father had given him for dealing with war. You couldn’t forget that your enemy was man, the same as you. They wanted the same things that you did, they needed the same things that you did. All he had to do was figure out what specifically Riddle was after and then he should have the upper hand, yes?

“Yes, your highness. Tom Riddle. He wasn’t always such a formidable opponent. He used to be nothing more than a misguided child. Perhaps if he’d had a bit more love in his life when he was younger he wouldn’t be the way he is now, but perhaps not. There are plenty of people who choose the path of destruction and come from good homes. Look at all his supporters. The wealthiest of our country, who have never been want for anything.” He cleared his throat and ran his hand down his long beard.

“I tried to help guide him when I was a part of his life, but he pushed me away. My troubles only gained me an advantage recently. I seem to make him rather uncomfortable and unsure of himself now. I lived in the capital, sire. I was a scholar, and I had a good number of students, and when Tom came in and started terrorizing everyone with his masks and fires, I took who I could and got out. I don’t see how he couldn’t have noticed what I was doing, so I have to believe that he let me go because of who I was.”

“Because you showed him kindness?” James asked.

“Or because I saw the potential for good in him. I saw it and I saw him choose to go the other way instead. He likes to tell his supporters that the world has twisted him up inside, that he’s rough around the edges because of what other people have done to him, but I know the truth. He’s done all of this to himself. He’s pushed everyone who’s ever cared about him away, he’s killed people who could have been family, he’s looked for every reason there is to destroy good things. But I can see through it all and he doesn’t like that.”

Harry walked over and climbed onto James’ lap, and James nodded. He knew that Harry had experienced the terror of Riddle first hand, but he didn’t think that he needed to hear anymore about the man. At least not from Dumbledore. James and Lily would work out what he needed to know and how they would tell him. “Well thank you both for meeting with me,” James said, standing up and keeping his arms around Harry.

“Any time,” Dumbledore stood up and started toward the door as well, James could hear Moody’s leg on the stairs now.

Harry turned to James once the two of them had made it to the street. “You’re going to stop him, right dad?” He asked, one of his little hands balled up around James’ collar. “You’re going to stop him from hurting people.”

“I am,” James promised. “That’s what we’re all training for. So that when I finally meet this man, I can stop him from hurting more people.” Harry nodded.

“I’m scared of him,” He said quietly, his little head going back to rest on James’ shoulder.

“It’s alright to be scared of him,” He said. “He’s a mean man who’s done very mean things. But you should know that everyone in this town would do anything they could to keep you safe.”

“And Grace?”

“Of course. Your mother and I aren’t going to let anything happen to you or Grace.” He kissed the side of Harry’s head and the little boy fell quiet.

By the time they had made it back to the house, he was asleep. James was glad that he wasn’t going to have to try and put him to bed without Lily there, but when he walked into their rooms, she was sitting in a rocking chair in front of the hearth with Grace in her arms. She was humming softly and had her back to him, so she didn’t notice him enter.

The warm feeling that overcame him whenever he saw Lily engaged in a tender moment with one of their children was becoming familiar, but still overwhelming.

He quietly walked into the children’s room and laid Harry down on the bed that they’d brought in for him. He made sure that he was tucked in after taking off his shoes, and then left the room. As he walked back into the main room, Lily startled, having been walking across the room herself to put Grace down.

“Sorry,” James whispered. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“No, I just didn’t see you come in.” She shook her head and smiled at him before continuing across the room to put Grace in her bassinet.

The house was warm for a change, and taking off his clothes to get ready for bed didn’t feel so difficult since he wasn’t met with a strange draft of cold air every time. He walked over to the vanity and washed his face and hands before he fell back onto the bed and sighed. He’d really missed sleeping on a proper bed.

Lily walked out and laughed quietly. “Tired, are you?”

“Exhausted.” He turned his head and gave her a lazy grin. “Don’t try and tell me that you’re not. You were running around the infirmary all day.”

“Oh I am tired,” She nodded. “Glad to have the chance to settle in here. I feel like we’ve been moving around nonstop for too long now.”

“I agree,” He sighed, bringing a hand up and wiping it over his face.

“I know that it’s not going to end of course,” She added, walking over to the vanity and picking up a hairbrush gingerly. They hadn’t had simple luxuries like hair brushes since they left the castle. “You’ll have to leave soon again.”

“But not tonight.” James pushing himself up, so he was sitting. “Tonight, we get to relax.”

Lily looked at him in the mirror and smiled. “And in a real bed at that,” James laughed.

“Yes, I think that’s one of the things I’m going to enjoy the most about staying here.”

“Yes, I’m not going to miss our bedroll.” She finished brushing her hair and set it down and started toward the other side of the bed, undoing the laces on the back of her dress as she walked. “Though I don’t think I’ll remember our time in the woods as a terrible time.”

“No, it wasn’t terrible.” He grinned. “There was a lot of things I wouldn’t trade for the world. A lot of things that might not have happened if we hadn’t been there.”

“A lot of people that we wouldn’t have met as well.” Lily added, folding her dress and setting it on a chair near the bed. She started toward the bed and gave him a small smile. “Though I’m most grateful for some of those things you were alluding to.”

“Some of those things?” He leaned against the headboard and tilted his head to the side.

She shrugged, trying to keep her smile smaller than it wanted to be which only made him laugh again. She crawled up onto the bed and chuckled quietly. “I think I forgot how tall beds were.” She got under the covers and then settled next to him. “But yes, some of those things.” She looked over and her smile was back to trying to hide.

“And what things do you think I was talking about?”

“Well I hope you were talking about me.” She reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear.

Part of him wanted to keep teasing her, but he couldn’t. “I was most definitely talking about you.” He said softly, reaching up and brushing his fingertips down her cheeks. “I can’t believe how much things have changed over such a short period of time.”

She reached up and took his hand in hers. “I don’t think there’s a single aspect of our lives that haven’t changed.” She said, and her fingers laced through his. “But I’m glad that things between us are different now.”

“I love you, Lily.” She smiled.

“I love you too,” And he leaned forward to kiss her.

He squeezed her hand before letting go and moving his hand to the small of her waist, pulling her closer. It wasn’t lost on him that this was their first real moment alone in a very long time. Harry and Grace weren’t far, but they weren’t in the same room as James and Lily for the first time since Grace was born three months ago, and the walls that surrounded them weren’t made of logs and moss. Their door actually had a latch and James highly doubted that Sirius might walk in.

Even when they were back in the castle, he’d never felt like he was ever this alone with her. There had always been guards and servants not too far off.

It was going to be very strange to go back to living that life.

Her hands moved up to cup his face, holding him close and he sighed against her lips, his grip tightening on her waist. He leaned forward into the kiss, slowly shifting them so that they were laying down. She smiled against his lips, and he couldn’t help but return the smile.

He kissed her like he was trying to make up for lost time, like if he kissed her hard enough, if he kissed her long enough, then they wouldn’t have lost those years from before. But she was soft and warm and kept pulling him back to the present. She didn’t want to worry about what they had already lost, she kept telling him that she just wanted to think about their future.

He had to work hard to remember that they _were_ going to have a future together. There would hopefully come a time when it didn’t feel like he was fighting for just a moment with her, like he was grasping desperately to show her that he cared now.

Her hands ran through his hair and he sighed before moving his lips down her jaw. His hand went to rest on her thigh, carefully pulling up the fabric of her slip, trying to move slowly, to remain grounded in the present. His fingertips grazed over her bare skin now and he felt her take a shuddering breath and quickly moved his lips back to hers.

This kiss was different than one’s that had come before it, it was heavier, it was _more._ He wanted _more._

“I love you,” He muttered against her lips, her small hands sliding over his chest and then around his neck, holding them both together. “Lily, I-“

“Mum? Dad?” James froze for a moment before leaning down and burying his face in the crook of Lily’s neck, shaking his head slightly. Lily hummed, running a hand through his hair. He wondered if he’d ever been this disappointed to have a moment interrupted before. Harry _never_ woke after being put to bed.

“Are you alright, Harry?” She asked, sounding far more calm than he felt. He slowly moved to the side of the bed so that he wasn’t on top of her anymore and she sat up.

“I- I um…” James could hear the quiver in his voice and sat up himself, his brow furrowed.

“Come here, love.” Lily held out her hand to Harry and he quickly ran toward their bed, climbing up the side and all but dove into Lily’s arms.

“I didn’t think you were going to wake up until noon tomorrow,” James said, reaching out and rubbing Harry’s back. “Did you have a bad dream?” Harry nodded and nestled closer to Lily. Lily looked at James. “We were talking about Riddle on the way back. He was worried.” She nodded.

“Is that what your dream was about?” She asked, her hand pushing Harry’s fringe away from his face and trying to get him to look at her. He nodded again.

“He hurt you and dad,” He said quietly. “Everything was green and scary.”

“He’s not going to hurt us, love.” She said gently.

“He might. In my dream he had dragons and snakes and- and everything was green!” Lily kissed his forehead and started rocking him gently back and forth.

“It was only a dream, Harry. Nothing is going to happen to us. We’re safe.”

“But what if he comes here? What if he-“ There were fat tears rolling down his cheeks now and James scooted closer to the pair so he could put his arm around Lily and pull them both closer.

“Harry, your mum and I aren’t going to let anything happen to you. It was only a dream.” Harry reached out and took James’ hand, pulling it close to her chest.

“You promise?” He asked, his voice so small. For the first time in a long time, he seemed more like the young boy that he really was. He’d been so brave the last few months, so determined to help the people around him, but he was hardly grown by any standards.

“Of course we promise, baby.” Lily tightened her arms around him and shifted out of James’ arm so that she could lay Harry down beside her.

“I’ll move Grace’s bassinet.” James moved to go and fetch his (hopefully sleeping) daughter. Gently, he carried the bassinet into the room without jostling her too much, setting it down at the edge of the bed before crawling back into it.

He shuffled up against Lily’s back, pulling her close to his chest as he normally would when they went to sleep, and she had Harry tucked against her chest.

And together, the four of them slept soundly.

oOo

James received names from both Dumbledore and Moody the next morning and with the help of both Remus and Sirius, they chose a dozen men and had them sent out to neighboring towns before midday. They would have gone out earlier, but James got a bit of a late start to his day. He hadn’t realized how tired he really was until he’d tried to get out of bed. Lily easily convinced him to sleep a bit longer, claiming the bed would be cold without him.

_“Harry is still here with you.” He was already settling back into the pillow though._

_“Yes, but I’m keeping him warm.” She countered, reaching a hand around so she could entwine their fingers together and pull him closer. “Who’s going to keep me warm if you leave?”_

_“I don’t want you to get cold,” He had said with a lazy grin, as he softly peppered kisses across her shoulder before nuzzling into the crook of her neck. “I suppose I can stay.”_

He grinned to himself when he thought about it and he heard Sirius let out a dramatic sigh. He looked over at his friend with a raised brow. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” He shook his head. “Everything is perfect actually. All of our problems have been solved while you were smiling to yourself.”

James pressed his lips together for a moment and then looked at Remus, trying to gauge whether or not Remus was also annoyed with him. His knight only shrugged. “Are you still angry with me from before? Because I’m the king and didn’t know of a magic way to stop this all from happening?”

“I’m not angry with you, I just don’t know what you’re smiling about.”

“I have quite a bit to smile about.” James said, crossing his arms over his chest. They were in the formal dinning room of James’ childhood home, which had been designated as the official meeting room. “My family is safe and all under one roof again. I finally got a good night’s sleep after three months of sleeping on the ground. My daughter smiled at me this morning, which was one of the most wonderful smiles I’ve ever seen. Not to mention the fact that we came into this town and successfully reclaimed it while also liberating a slew of innocent people who had been trapped behind bars. It’s been a good couple of days.”

“There are still plenty of innocent people suffering,” Sirius reminded him and James frowned.

“I know that.” He said sharply. “But refusing to celebrate the small things in life isn’t going to help anyone. We’re working toward helping those other people too, but I’m not going to pretend to be miserable when I’m not. It’s been a good week for us overall and if I want to smile then I’m going to.” He shook his head.

“You’re smiling because you-“ Sirius was cut off quite abruptly when Remus kicked him underneath the table. A fact that would have gone unnoticed by James if Sirius’s attention hadn’t immediately turned to Remus as he shouted, “Don’t kick me!”

“Don’t start to say inappropriate things about my king and queen.” Remus countered.

James laughed quietly, finding it rather humorous that Remus had kicked Sirius to stop him from saying a lewd comment. Or maybe he laughed simply because he _was_ in a great mood. Either way, both men turned to look at him. “Sirius says lewd things all the time, you don’t need to start kicking him. Your foot will get sore.” James shrugged, and then turned to Sirius. “I’m in love with my wife for the first time since we got married.” He admitted. “So yes, I’ve been smiling to myself about that.”

Sirius narrowed his brow. “What do you mean, ‘for the first time?’”

James ran a hand through his hair. “Lily and I didn’t talk before. We hardly said two words to one another if we weren’t in public.” Sirius, who had never seen James and Lily together when they hadn’t been in the woods seemed skeptical.

“I thought she was just upset with you when you first got to the camp.”

“She was _very_ upset with me when we first go to the camp.” James chuckled quietly. “But probably not for the reasons you’d think. But anyway, I know that there’s a lot of work to do, and I’m very sorry about the state that many of my people are still in. I know that taking back the Hollows doesn’t fix everything and I’m going to do everything I can to take back the entire country. But I can’t let it be the only thing that I think about or I’m going to miss my family growing and changing, and I don’t want to do that.”

Sirius seemed more confused than anything, but at least he had stopped laying into James for the time being and consented to going over maps to work out which towns they could pass through on their way to Hogsmeade.

And they somehow did manage to stay on topic for an hour or so, before they moved themselves over to the field next to the pond, where they had told everyone to meet for training. As he’d promised Moody, he took all the new recruits and started the day by testing their current skill levels, so he would know who to train with what.

Amos and Reginald, his knights, didn’t train with the novices of course, so there weren’t many familiar faces in the crowd until Hestia walked up to him, her arms crossed over her chest and a determined look on her face.

“I’d like to fight.” She said, and James could only look at her. She was thin, too thin really, because she was always on the move and probably skipped meals because of how busy she was all the time. She had some muscle definition in her arms, but not much. And there was that wound that she had kept reopening back at camp a while back. He doubted that it was fully healed, not after what Lily had told him.

“This is my home too, and I’d like to fight for it.” She reiterated when he failed to say something.

“Have you been trained to use any weapons?” He asked, looking back at the men he was currently training. They weren’t in better shape than Hestia. Some of them had been in the jail for weeks. The only reason he was hesitating was because it wasn’t common practice to let women fight. And Hestia’s body language let him know that she was ready and willing to fight him if he said as much.

“No I have not.” She said, her confidence unwavering. “But I’m a quick learner and very motivated.”

James nodded, “Lily has told me plenty about you.” He looked around and saw a few men giving him questioning looks. He’d only just earned back the trust of many of them, and maybe now wasn’t the best time to be pushing their trust. But then he looked back at Hestia and sighed. “Alright, get out there. We’ll be training every day.”

“Of course we will,” She said, clearing her throat as she tried to hide a smile. She walked out to the front of the group and turned to wait for further instructions. James ran a hand through his hair and wondered what Moody was going to think of this.

oOo

Lily hardly had any time to mull over the fact that she and James had gotten very close to being _intimate_ the other night, because very soon after the riders were sent out to inform the surrounding area that Godric’s Hollow was back under control of the crown, people started showing up.

Of course, she found herself thinking about it in the cracks of time her day offered. When she was walking from the infirmary to the apothecary, or when she was walking from one patient to the next.

She didn’t have _time_ to think about it, but she still did.

It had felt good- great to be desired, to see that look in his eyes and know that he wanted her. She remembered the soft touch of his hands in contrast to the heady kisses he pressed to her neck and she had to shake herself back into reality.

She wished that they’d gone farther that night. Not simply because she really wanted to, but because the longer they went from that night without picking up where they left off, the more nervous she got.

It wasn’t as though they had never been intimate before of course, they had two children, but there had never been any feelings involved before. There had never been a desire to please the other person. They had sex because they needed heirs. There had been nothing romantic about it.

But now? She felt as though she got weak in the knees when he smiled at her sometimes. And when he absentmindedly traced the back of her hand, or played with the ends of her hair, it was good to know that he seemed to be having a hard time keeping his hands off of her as well.

But all thoughts of romance aside, Lily really was busy.

New people seemed to be arriving every day, and while they weren’t yet bursting at the seems and desperate for more space, Lily thought it was a good bet that they soon would be.

And with each new group of people, there was at least a few who were injured. So even though they had all but emptied the infirmary of the original townspeople, it was quickly filled again, and they had to start using the tavern portion of the building as well, much to the chagrin of both Tom and Rosmerta. And if it annoyed Lily that they complained, it had Molly in a rage.

“These people are sick! Do you suggest I keep them outside?”

“It’s not good business to have sick people on the floor of the bar,” Tom countered, not shying away from the angry woman. “You could use the church instead!”

“Oh, there’s an idea.” Molly quipped. “I could use the church, which is on the other end of town. So when I need to go and check on the patients that are there, I have to leave all my other patients that are in the dance hall, bundle up and trek through the snow to get to them, only to have to come back to check on the rest as soon as I’m finished.” She crossed her arms over her chest.

“We’re not saying that it’d be easy, but at least then we’d get to use the tavern.” Rosmerta softened her voice from what it normally was and shrugged a shoulder. Molly glared at her anyway.

“We don’t need a tavern. We need a functioning infirmary. If you have people who want to drink, they can do it outside or in one of the other abandon shops. I’m not arguing the point any further.” And then she turned on her heel and headed back into the dance hall portion of the infirmary.

Tom looked at Lily, “You get where we’re coming from, don’t you your majesty?”

“I understand the need to keep moral up, and I know that alcohol helps with that. But no, these people are sick and you’re trying to prioritize alcohol over them. That’s not fair or helpful.” And then she turned to tend to a man who slipped on the ice while walking into town, hitting his head on a rock. Or at least that’s what he told them. The wound looked a bit old to be from only the other day however.

“I could use some alcohol,” He said, quiet enough so that the two disgruntled bartenders wouldn’t overhear him.

“I’m sure you could, but I don’t think that would do you much good.” Lily grinned, glad that the man seemed to be in well enough spirits to joke around.

“You know, I always knew that you were nice.” He said, looking up at her and smiling. He definitely had a concussion, and he was acting a bit loopy because of it. Lily just smiled at him.

“That’s very kind of you to say.”

“It’s only the truth, ma’am.” He shrugged. “I’m glad that you didn’t get hurt when he took over. Who knows what they would have done to you. Though I wish someone would have warned you that it was coming. Your nobles had you fooled pretty good.” He chuckled and Lily couldn’t tell why he was laughing.

She cleared her throat. “We did put our trust in the wrong people.”

“Being too trusting can be a bad thing.” He said, tapping his fingers against the side of his leg. “Especially when you’re also nice. It can be a deadly combination.”

Lily shifted in her seat and set down the cloth she’d been using to clean his wound, despite the fact that she hadn’t finished. “I suppose it could be interpreted as naivety.” She allowed. She wiped her hands on her skirts. “Well I’ll come back in a bit to clean it again and then we’ll get some bandages on it. I have to go and attend to another patient now.”

He nodded jerkily, “Another patient. There are so many. So many people who are hurt and sick. All because of…” He looked at her again and Lily felt a chill go down her spine. She was going to have to talk to Molly about him. There were so many people in this building who’s names she didn’t know, who’s families she wasn’t sure of, who’s background she knew nothing about. And that hadn’t seemed like a problem until now. She was the queen, this was dangerous. Being around so many strangers was dangerous.

It happened very quickly, and if he hadn’t been lying down, it would have been worse. His arm that had been at his sides tense and he brought it up in a quick and fluid motion just as she was standing up. The knife that he had aimed for her heart did not meet it’s intended mark as she was moving quickly to distance herself from this man, and instead sunk into her abdomen.

Her eyes widened in shock as the man pulled the knife out of her and looked her in the eye. “You really are kind, my lady. But you’re not fit to be queen. Look at what you’ve done to everyone,” He motioned around the room and then stood up off his cot and started toward the door.

Lily looked down at her stomach and saw the blood start to seep from the wound. She covered it with her hand and took a shaky breath as she turned around, looking for him again. “Stop him,” She said far too quietly. “Stop him!” She tried again, catching the attention of Tom and Rosmerta. They looked at her strangely and then turned to see the man still holding the knife in his hand. Tom moved first, but the man was quick, and darted out the door.

Molly walked back into the room. “What’s going on? What’s with the shouting?” She asked, looking at Lily. Lily looked back at her stomach and slowly pulled her hand away, which was now covered in blood. She looked up at Molly who couldn’t seem to process what she was seeing.

Suddenly light headed, Lily looked around for something to hold onto and found nothing. “I’m going to fall,” She said quietly before doing just that. It was a miracle that Molly had been able to cross the room fast enough to catch her.

“Come now, Lily. You’re going to be alright.” She said quietly. And that was the last thing that Lily heard before she lost consciousness.


	13. Lean on Me

_"Always give without remembering and always receive without forgetting."_  
_― Brian Tracy_

James felt as though his heart were in his throat and he couldn't get his forearms to stop feeling as though they might explode at any given moment. He kept rubbing his thumb over his wrist as he sat on the hard, wooden chair that Arthur had directed him toward when he arrived. He'd seen her first of course, he wouldn't have let it go otherwise.

He ran into the building and rushed about until he found her- though he really wished that someone would have stopped him, would have prevented him from seeing her like that.

Her face was pale, her clothes bloodied and for the brief moment he'd been looking over her before someone had pulled him away, he had the strangest sensation that he was looking at only the body of his wife, a shell. Her spirit seemed to be elsewhere and he couldn't get that thought out of his head.

Remus was sitting next to him now. He hadn't been able to keep up with James when he saw him start running down the road.

And Sirius was with him now too. He'd went off to catch the man that had done it with Tom and a few others who had been nearby.

They almost didn't catch him. He'd almost gotten away.

James couldn't face him just then though. He couldn't go into the jailhouse and talk to the man who tried to kill his wife, not until he knew… until he knew one way or the other.

Sirius started tapping his foot rather quickly against the floor. It was grating and James was about to snap at him, but someone else beat him too it.

"Keep it up and I'm going to toss you out of the building," Regulus was leaning up against the wall across from James. James blinked as he looked at him, not knowing when he'd arrived or how long he'd been there. He nodded at James and then James went back to looking at his feet.

"Why would-" Sirius cut himself off and started tapping his fingers on his knee now. Maybe it was just his unsettled energy that was driving James up the wall. "Who would want to-" He cut himself off again.

"Why don't you go for a walk, Sirius?" Remus asked, his voice gentle. James didn't have it in him just then to think about how many different things Sirius had to be confused about. He also didn't have the wherewithal to think that the two things Sirius was fretting over might be related.

He hunched over and ran his hands through his hair, holding his head and resting his elbows on his knees. She had to be okay. Not even for his sake, but because James couldn't go back and tell Harry that his mum was anything less than okay. He couldn't look into his eyes,  _her_ eyes, and tell him that she wasn't going to…

He couldn't think like that. He forced himself to sit up. He cleared his throat and looked around the room. "Maybe I should go for a walk." He said and then jumped to his feet. He took a step forward and then hesitated. He didn't not want to be here if something changed. He didn't want someone to have to fetch him again.

"James?" It was Molly's voice and James couldn't tell if it was going to be good news or bad news and he felt as though someone had just doused him in icy water. He felt as though he was eight years old and had the ice on the pond break under his feet. He had nothing to hold onto, nothing solid under him and no way to get out of the water.

He looked back at his friends, waiting for one of them to throw him a rope, to pull him out of the water, but they just looked at him with wide eyes, waiting for him to turn and talk to Molly.

Slowly, he turned and looked at the woman who had done far too much for his family by this point, and hoped that she had been able to do just this one last thing. He crossed his arms over his chest and braced himself.

"I've managed to stop the bleeding," But she didn't look happy about it so James didn't allow himself to be relieved. "We'll have to watch her overnight. If she-" She cleared her throat. "If she makes it to the morning, then I believe that she'll be alright. "

It was news, but it wasn't. It didn't get him out of this terrible limbo. It didn't throw him a rope. He was still drowning in the icy waters and there was nothing that anyone could do for him.

"You can go and sit with her if you'd like."

James didn't say anything, he just started for the back corner of the dance hall, the furthest away from any doors or windows that they could get her. James would have to get Amos and Reginald to stand watch at the main entrance. Or maybe Remus had already taken care of that. Hopefully he'd already taken care of that because James didn't have the energy to talk to anyone just then.

They had pushed a few tables together and laid her on top of them. She was still very pail, but something about her looked more alive now. James looked at where the bleeding had been and saw only bandages now.

He reached out and took her hand, and tried to see if there was any difference now in the feel of it. Her hand was unresponsive, so she didn't automatically thread her fingers through his, but otherwise it felt the same. Just as warm, just as soft.

"How could anyone hurt you?" He asked no one, leaning forward and pressing his forehead against the edge of the table. He didn't understand why they would go after her.

Of course that was a lie, he did understand in a political sense. She was the queen, their country was in some sort of civil war, even if Riddle's men were the minority by a long shot. A small group of men were capable of carrying out atrocities. They already had done so many terrible things to so many different people.

James tried not to think about the night that the castle was taken, but he'd seen more friendly blood spilled that night than he'd ever seen before. And you could blame that on his sheltered upbringing or his parents' kind hearts, but it had shaken him. As Lily had pointed out to him before they reached the camp, he had been desperate and reaching in those days following the attack. He hadn't known what to do with himself, how he was supposed to behave or what he was supposed to say. And even though she'd been angry with him and then immediately went into labor, Lily had been his anchor, she had kept him from spiraling too much.

He felt rather than saw, someone sit down next to him. He didn't look over, but this time when Regulus started talking, he wasn't so surprised. "Someone had to have told that man that she was going to be working in the infirmary, right?" He asked, his voice so tight and angry that he sounded more like Sirius than himself. "He faked an injury, straggled in behind a group of travelers and positioned himself near her so that he'd get a minute alone with her. Someone had to have told him that she was helping out in the infirmary."

James ground his teeth together as he put together was Regulus was suggesting. "Peter wouldn't do that." He said, though he was entirely unsure of what Peter was capable of doing.

"I didn't think that he would give away our location either." Regulus said. Then he sighed and leaned back against his chair, "Maybe they're holding something over him. I've never heard him mention his family before, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't have one."

"I don't care what they're doing to get him to talk." He was aware that this statement contradicted what he said previously, but he didn't care. Nothing made sense and he just wanted to see Lily open her eyes, feel her hand tighten around his.

"I know." Regulus said. "I just need to know why he did it." He added softly. James looked over at him. Sirius and Regulus looked very similar, but Regulus's features were more pinched. He looked more the noble than Sirius did, who's features were more rogue and boyish. And the difference in their faces was highlighted now, because they were both angry, they were both hurt, but it was Sirius who looked hard and unforgiving now. Regulus looked as though someone had just kicked his dog. "She didn't deserve this." He shook his head and James looked back at his wife. "After everything she's done for everyone…"

"She'll be fine." James said, unable to unclench his jaw as he spoke.

"Right," Regulus nodded and then stood up. "I'll leave you then." He gave James a small and an uncharacteristic bow before leaving the room.

"You're going to be alright." He said softly, reaching over and brushing her hair back away from her face.

oOo

Sirius couldn't finish a thought as he started pacing back and forth in front of the church.

He kept starting thoughts, but before he could get to the end of one, a new one would pop into his mind and it kept going and the cycle was slowly starting to drive him mad.

This was his fault. That was the only thing that seemed clear to him. He'd brought Peter into everyone's lives, which means that the men that they had lost the first time they tried to take over the Hollows, that was Sirius's fault. And what just happened to Lily, well that was his fault too.

And it couldn't be his fault, because Sirius had really cared for the men that they had lost on the first mission, and despite not getting along with Lily all that well and constantly laying into James for being so soft around her, he did  _like_ the queen. She was kind and unafraid to get dirt under her nails. Or blood.

And she'd been trying to help that man. He'd come into the infirmary injured and she'd tried to help him and he'd stabbed her. He'd tried to end her life.

He stopped his pacing quite suddenly and looked around the street. He hadn't realized that he was alone. That didn't seem wise, Sirius hardly made good decisions when he wasn't alone, but right now there was no one around to prevent him from doing the first thing that popped into his head.

Going to the jail was the first thing that popped into his head, and before that thought had fully formed his feet were already taking him there. He'd get answers one way or another. He couldn't work out why Peter had turned on him- on all of them, but he was going to get answers.

The building was very dark now, and when he walked in, three of the four prisoners were laying on the benches in their cells. Sirius didn't know why they'd left the benches there, they didn't deserve anything other than the floor. And maybe even that was too good for them.

He turned to the man who was staring at the far corner of his cell, idiotically leaning against the bars of his cell wall. Sirius grabbed him by his arm and pulled him closer so that his face was pinched between two of the bars. "You need to tell me exactly what your plan was here." He spoke as slowly as he could, but he could tell that his voice sounded deranged.

"Sirius? What are you doing, lad?" Moody was still there, keeping watch. He'd forgotten about Moody.

"I'm questioning this piece of filth."

"Do you have the King's permission?" He asked, and Sirius heard his wooden leg clunk on the floor as he started toward him.

Sirius didn't answer his question and instead looked over the man in front of him. His eyes were wide, his mouth slightly ajar, and the wound that Lily had been tending to when he stabbed her had started bleeding again. Sirius pulled him closer still to the bar, watching as a drop of blood formed and started sliding down his forehead.

"Speak," Sirius said slowly.

"A lot of people want the king and queen dead," He muttered, his voice was quivering, and his eyes darted around the room. Sirius knew that the three other men that they were keeping in here were watching them closely now. Waiting to see what Sirius would do.

"Ah, ah, ah. That's not an answer to my question," Sirius smirked at him and pulled him closer, making more blood ooze from his wound. "How did you know where Lily would be?"

"Some people have heard that the Queen plays nursemaid," The man managed to spit out, the words sounding muffled since his mouth was pressed against a bar.

"From who?" Sirius snarled. He felt Moody put a hand on his shoulder and shook it off. He yanked his arm and the man's face hit the bars and he yelled out in pain. "Who told you that?"

"I don't know!" He shouted, trying to push himself away from the bars now.

"Yes you do! Tell me who it was!"

"Sirius," Moody's warning fell on deaf ears.

"I don't know his name," The man was near tears now and Sirius had no sympathy for him. "He's a short, fair fellow that said he'd been traveling with you all. He told me the Queen would be the easiest to get alone."

Sirius could hear the blood rushing in his ears and let his grip on the man slacken slightly. He waited for the man to relax and then pulled him up against the bars, smashing his face against the iron and then he let go, letting him fall to the ground.

He took a few steps back and then looked around the room, making eye contact with everyone there. "If this building wasn't made of stone, I'd lite it on fire and be done with the lot of you." And then he turned on his heel and left.

oOo

James hadn't moved from the chair next to Lily's make-shift bed in hours. It was early morning now, early enough that the sun had yet to come out, but James heard the tavern door open and soon Molly was standing next to him.

"How is she?" She asked him, like she thought he might have some valuable insight to give. He didn't of course, so he didn't say anything. Molly reached out and put her hand on Lily's forehead. "There's no fever." She said, and it sounded like a good thing to James, but her tone was neutral.

There were other patients still in the hall of course. And so, after looking Lily over, Molly moved on to them. James had never been taught to share. When he was growing, up there was no one to share with. He did have to learn, however, that there was only so much that medicine could do for a person.

He'd sat outside his parent's sickroom for days with little to no news, and he had done everything in his power to make sure that he'd never be in that position again, and yet here he was. Clutching the hand of his wife, who may or may not open her eyes again.

He wouldn't trade any of it though.

And that was quite a realization to have. When he'd first made the decision to keep her at a distance, he'd thought that there was nothing in the world that could ever be worth feeling what he was feeling right now, but he was wrong. The feeling he got when she smiled at him and his heart danced in his chest was worth it. The feeling he got when she told him that she loved him or that she was proud of him was worth the pain. Hearing the slight change in her intonation from when she spoke to others and then spoke to him, letting him know that she was comfortable with him, that she didn't feel the need to put on a show for him, that made it worth it.

"I know that you said that you wanted a fresh start," He started, hardly recognizing that he was speaking aloud. "You told me that you didn't want my apologies, and that was fair because they were pretty selfish. I'm ashamed that I hurt you, that I made you feel isolated, but I'm devastated that I missed out on all that time with you. Time that we can't get back. I- I wasted it." He closed his eyes, and his lids stung with exhaustion. He hadn't managed to get any sleep, afraid that if he closed his eyes for too long he would miss her last breath. He had to keep watching the rise and fall of her chest, to keep his sanity.

"I don't care if it's important," Molly was saying to someone quietly from the other side of the room. "He's in no state to hear of any of it right now."

"I'm sorry, Molly," Remus' voice cut through. "But that's not really a decision that's up to you.

"Well someone's got to look out for them." She huffed. "No one else is."

"I'm sorry," He repeated, and James heard his footfalls get closer. "My king?"

"What is it, Remus?" He ran a hand over his eyes and then down his beard. He'd never had a beard this long before, some part of his mind wondered if he'd ever shave again.

"It's Sirius," He said, and something about his tone had James even more on edge.

"Well don't leave me wondering, what happened with Sirius?" He sounded angrier than he'd meant to. Remus quickly apologized and nodded his head.

"He left camp late last night. Moody said that he went into the jail, threatened all the prisoners and then took off. We didn't know that he was gone until this morning when Regulus started asking around." James looked away from him and back to Lily, making sure that her chest was still rising and falling. He tried to get his own breathing to match her slow and even breathes.

"Where do you think he went?"

Remus hesitated for only a moment. "I think he went after Peter."

"That'd be an idiotic thing to do." James sighed, tracing his thumb over the back of Lily's hand.

"It would be, sir. But I think that's what he's done."

"Because he blames himself, right? Because Peter told…" He trailed off, not wanting to put into words what had happened even when the aftermath of that man's actions was lying, still on the table in front of him.

"He most likely blames himself, yes." Remus agreed. "Regulus wanted to come in and talk to you, but he's a bit strung out at the moment, and I thought it best if I spoke with you. Regulus wants to know what you think that we should do."

"What I think we should do?" James repeated the question and sighed. "Regulus wants to go after Sirius, right? But Sirius is going after Peter. Peter is going to be with Riddle's men and so if Sirius is alone when he gets to him, he's most likely going to get himself killed."

"That sounds about right, yes." Remus nodded.

"He's a lone rider, what are the odds we could get to him before he draws attention to himself?"

"Does it matter?" Remus asked. "We have to help him. This," He looked at Lily and then back at James. "It's not his fault and he's going to get hurt."

"You're not allowed to go." James said. "And you have to pick who does go. They have a couple days to find him and return before they need to come back."

"Very good, sir." Remus bowed and then walked quickly out of the room.

oOo

_He didn't know what he was meant to do now, seated on the throne, freshly coordinated and orphaned all in the last two days. How was he meant to run a country and make decisions that were going to affect everyone in the kingdom when he couldn't get his mind to focus on anything other than how cold his mother's hand had felt when he'd touched it before the doctor had covered her face with a sheet._

_"Your majesty," One of his advisors, Filius Flitwick, walked into the room with his arms full of scrolls. He was a shorter man, just barely reaching four feet tall. He was a scholar, and had full run of the library most days, but in the last week he'd taken on the responsibility of keeping James moving from place to place, making sure that he was where he needed to be. James knew that he should have been able to get around on his own, but it was hard to move when his feet felt like they had sunken into the floor and his arms had somehow grown into the arms of the throne._

_Flitwick gave a quick bow and shuffled the scrolls in his arms, moving them about so that he could get to one of the scrolls at the bottom of the stack. "I have a list for you to go over, and I know that you're not going to like it, but it's necessary." He handed the scroll over and waited patiently for James to work up the strength to reach out and take it._

_"And, we have another unpleasant task to go over as well." He cleared his throat and adjusted the collar of his tunic. "Do you know who you're going to marry, sir?"_

_James' eyes flashed to his and he quickly shook his head, the notion of getting married any time soon horrified him. "I'm not getting married. Not now."_

_"Your parents didn't wish for you to bear the weight of the throne alone." Flitwick said slowly, acting as though he'd expected James to say something along those lines. "They wanted you to get married."_

_"I know what they wanted, they told me." James snapped. "But they aren't here and I can't bear the thought of getting married just now. How can I bring someone new into my life so soon after- how can I- It wouldn't be fair. To either one of us." He settled on, feeling like the spoiled princeling that so many thought him to be._

_"The kingdom needs a queen, my lord. If only for the reason that you are currently the only heir to the throne. If something where to happen to you, the kingdom would be in a state of disarray."_

_"So you need me to get married so that I can start having children?" James' tone was biting. "I've just lost the only family I've ever had. I don't want to jump into making a new one. I_ can't."

_"You're the king. You don't have any other choice, James." He spoke softly, familiar. James slouched. Because he was right, it didn't matter how he was feeling, or what he wanted, he had an obligation to his people that outweighed any and all personal problems that he was having._

_The crown was the reason he had to decide who he was going to marry just days after his parent's death. His kingdom was the reason he started a family without being ready, that he started it in a way that was so far from how he'd pictured it. He'd wanted to fall in love first, but had settled for the idea of just enjoying his wife's company in hopes of someday falling in love. But the reality was that he picked the girl that his mother had believed to be a good match. He never got to ask her why she thought that, he never got to ask if she thought that Lily Evans, who was only just a noblewoman, was a good fit for James or for the kingdom._

_It was less than a week after his parents had died, and he was married._

_He hated that everyone around him trusted him to make decisions this large when he was feeling so small._

_But he was king. He wasn't allowed to feel small._

oOo

Lily's eyes fluttered open slowly. Her head felt groggy, like she'd been asleep for too long or too little. She couldn't tell if the room she was in was dark or not, but that wasn't her main concern because she also had no idea where she was. She couldn't keep her eyes open for more than just a few seconds and then they would close again, and she didn't know how long would go by before she found the strength to open them again.

"Lily?" She knew that voice. It was nearby and it helped calm her. She tried to turn her head in the direction that it had come from, but she didn't know if she had done it or not since here eyes were still being held shut by some invisible force. "Are you awake?" She wanted to tell him that she was, she knew that it was James and he sounded hopeful and terrified and she wasn't sure why, but she wanted to tell him that she was awake.

And then she felt her hand fall to a hard surface and James' voice moved away from her, calling for Molly and Mary. Were they nearby? Why was he calling for them? Was she hurt?

Hurt.

That man had hurt her.

She'd been trying to help him and he'd hurt her.

And as she thought about it, the pain where the wound must be seared through her and she let out an involuntary groan. She felt James' hand pick up hers again, stroking the back of it as she groaned again. "It's all going to be alright, Lily." He said, quietly, quickly, over and over again.

And then there was nothing again.

The next time she woke, she started coughing, a hand instantly moving to press against her wound on her stomach. She cried out in pain and her eyes flew open.

James and Mary were standing over her with strikingly similar expressions. Their brows racing up their foreheads, their mouths pressed into thin, hard lines, and neither of them looked as though they'd slept recently.

"You're awake," James squeezed her hand and she cleared her throat, gently and blinked quite rapidly. She looked around for a window, but someone had hung blankets up over the front of them. She didn't know if that was to keep out a draft or make the room look and feel even more depressing than it had already. For heaven's sakes, it was already a dance hall full of injured and ill.

"I am," Her voice cracked, and she realized that the grogginess that she was still feeling was definitely not from too little sleep. Her voice hadn't cracked from disuse in quite some time. "When is it?" She shook her head, "I mean, what time is it?"

"It's early afternoon." Mary answered, and Lily turned to look at her. Her hand had come away from Lily's side covered in blood and she wiped it on her skirts, pulling new bandages from one of her pockets. "You were attacked yesterday evening."

"We thought you were going to wake up this morning," James added, and she settled for moving here eyes instead of her entire head. She felt so tired.

"It's the blood loss," Mary answered the question she hadn't found the words for yet. "You just tore open your stitches again."

"Again?"

"Yes. You coughed a couple of hours ago too. But you don't have a fever." Lily knew that that didn't mean that she couldn't get one. Especially since she had been helping so many sick people only minutes before she'd been giving a gapping wound and, if her memory served her right, she had fallen to the floor shortly after that.

"That doesn't-" But her jaw felt heavy and she was, for perhaps the first time in her life, too tired to argue. It was a strange feeling, letting a point go unanswered.

"That doesn't, what?" James asked, his thumb brushing over the back of her hand. She tried to shrug one of her shoulders and then flinched.

"Don't do that!" Mary snapped, swatting at her arm. James glared at her, but Mary didn't seem to notice. "You're only going to make it worse. I wish you weren't conscious for this bit, but I'm going to have to stitch you up again."

Lily's hand tightened around James' and he shifted closer to her in response. "Why is it so quiet in here?" She asked, looking between the two of them.

"Because James hasn't left and you're their Queen." Mary said pointedly. "Everyone is acting rather strangely. Also someone tried to kill you," She added, almost as an afterthought. "No one knows quite how to handle that. Especially since Sirius-"

"Mary," James interrupted. "She's just woken. Would you give her a moment to breath?"

"I'm fine, James. What happened to Sirius?"

"You're not fine." Mary and James both said at the same time and then looked at one another.

"Sirius went after Peter." James said after a moment.

"What about the man who tried to kill me?" The words slipped easily off her tongue, but the weight of them hit her when she saw the pained expression flitter across James' face. He did his best to hide it of course, but she'd seen it.

He cleared his throat, "Sirius beat him up rather badly and then took off without telling anyone. Though someone should have been with him." He muttered.

"Sirius caught him?"

"He was with the group of men that went after him and brought him back. I don't know who actually caught him."

"Then when- why did-"

"Sirius marched off to the jail," Mary offered, once again guessing Lily's question before she managed to work out how to put it into words. "He got whatever it was he wanted out of the man who did this," she gestured to the wound. "And then he threatened to burn the jail down. Moody looked almost giddy when he was telling people about it." She almost smiled.

James narrowed his brow. "I hadn't heard all of that."

"Well you weren't really in a state to listen to more than was absolutely necessary." Mary muttered. "And Molly wasn't really letting anyone in here to talk to you anyway. Remus all but pushed past her to ask you if he could send men after Sirius, but other than that, she's all but locked the door."

"It was for safety reasons." Molly's voice came from the tavern portion of the building, and Lily had to turn her head to see her walk into the dance hall. "I didn't want to let someone in here who might wish to harm James or Lily." She had her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes were locked on Lily's. "I'm glad to see that you're awake, love." She said, walking over and brushing the back of her hand across Lily's forehead before cupping her cheek and patting it lightly.

"Remus isn't a danger to me."

"I know that. But you didn't need to be hearing everything that he wanted to tell you. You should be thanking me." Lily noticed something flicker over James' face again, different than the fear that he'd shown when she mentioned how close to death she'd come.

"Thank you," He said, completely sincere. "For everything. I'll never be able to repay you."

"Honestly, we won't." Lily added. It was already a sentiment that she'd repeated a few times after Molly had helped them with one thing or another. "You've done so much for us, Molly. Thank you."

She waved her hand at them dismissively, but Lily noticed how her cheeks tinged. "Marlene should be here soon, and she'll make you something to help with the pain. Mary, you should hurry up with stitching this up again. We don't need her to pass out from loss of blood." And then, with a quick smile at the both of them, she turned and started toward the other end of the room.

Lily looked at James, "How are the children?"

He huffed and ran a hand through his hair. "I didn't tell them that you were hurt." He said 'them' but Harry was the only one that would have been affected by the news. Grace was too young to understand any of the English language so far. He seemed to only want to speak in the general at the moment. Specifics were difficult. "I didn't want to worry them when I didn't know, I didn't know which way things were going to go." Lily was going to nod but thought better of it.

"That's fine. Do you know who's with them? Do you think you could go and see them now?" She gave his hand a light squeeze and his eyes snapped to hers.

"Carrie and Emmeline are with them. And of course I can," He nodded, though he looked hesitant.

"I'm not going to let her fall asleep again, James." Mary said, still rummaging around through medical supplies, though Lily could tell she was just keeping her hands busy because she didn't want to start stitching Lily up when James was there.

James gave a jerky nod and then stood up. "I'll be back soon," He said, leaning over and pressing a kiss to her forehead. She closed her eyes, and even though it was hard to open them again when he stepped back, she forced herself to. She didn't want to give him any more reason to worry about her. Not after what he'd just been through.

"Maybe you should try and get some sleep, love." She said, hating that her voice cracked. She needed some water.

"We've already talked about that," He sighed, his hand going to the base of his neck this time. Lily remembered the conversation that he was referring too. Where he'd told her that he couldn't sleep without her. She gave him a soft smile and then he turned and left, looking determined to get out of the building before he changed his mind.

"Thanks for getting him out. I had a feeling that he was going to have me put in the stocks if he were around for this." Mary pulled out a needle and stitching thread and Lily grimaced. "Do you want something to bit down on?"

"Might as well." She nodded, because as weak as she felt now, she knew that the adrenaline from the pain that was about to start would kick in and then screaming wouldn't seem so farfetched.

Mary placed a wooden stick between Lily's teeth and then gave her a look. "It's going to hurt."

Lily gave a short nod and then closed her eyes.

oOo

James climbed down the steps of the tavern and was greeted by Remus, and a good number of men that he'd been training for the last couple of months.

"How is she?" Remus jumped up from where he'd been sitting on the wall. Everyone was looking at him and James cleared his throat. He didn't want to talk to everyone just then, but Lily was their Queen, she was important to them as well. And as their King, it wasn't fair of him to want to push them aside and run home.

"She's awake." He said. "She's talking, she remembers what happened."

"Is she going to be okay?" James hadn't noticed Hestia at first. She'd taken to wearing trousers since he'd told her that she could train with them, and had all her hair pulled back tightly.

James wasn't sure how he was supposed to answer that question, he wasn't sure what answer Molly would have given because James hadn't asked her that question. He had been very careful to avoid that question. Sure he'd told Lily that everything was going to be alright, but that was different.

He rubbed his hand along his jawline and looked up at the darkening sky. "She has to be." He said quietly.

Remus grabbed hold of his shoulder and nodded. "She's stronger than we know. She'll be fine."

James pressed his lips together and nodded. "Any word on Sirius?" He asked, looking around the group. His eyes landed on Remus. He didn't see Amos or Reginald anywhere, so Remus must have sent them along with Regulus. He was glad for that, as his knights were trained for this.

"We found his horse." Remus said, looking uncomfortable to have James' full attention on this particular matter, which was answer enough for James. They had no idea where Sirius was. "Not too far from here, really."

"There are still men out there looking for him, but if he's gotten rid of his horse, then he's going to be harder to find. Harder to track." Hestia added. James nodded and let out an angry huff.

"Why wouldn't he just wait?" He shook his head. Remus lowed his hand from James' shoulder. "He's probably going to Hogsmeade, and he knows that is where we're going next. Why wouldn't he just wait for us?"

"He doesn't know how." Hestia shrugged. "I've only known him for a few months, but he's not one to wait for other people to organize. Which worked out well for us in the camp, because him working alone was what got us all out of wherever we were trapped."

"Yes, well he's not going somewhere to smuggle people out. He's going into enemy territory after we've just pissed everyone off by taking this town, to find a spy who has way too much information about all of us." James ran his hands over his face. "Look, I know this is important, but I promised Lily that I'd check on the children and then come back. We'll come up with a plan in the morning."

There was murmurs of accent and then the group disbanded.

Remus started following him back to the house, and James was going to snap at him for it, but then he remembered that he and Lily had invited Remus to stay in the house with them. They had invited a whole bunch of people and James tried not to regret that as his footsteps became a bit heavier.

"You need some sleep," Remus said, echoing Lily's statement from earlier. She'd barely had the energy to say anything at all, and yet she'd found it in her to tell him to take care of himself.

"I need to eat too." He said, realizing just how hungry he was as he'd said it. He hadn't had anything to eat since he'd sat down at Lily's side yesterday evening. No supper, no breakfast, no lunch. Nothing. Molly had tried to bring him something, but he didn't think he'd be able to keep it down with how terribly his stomach was churning.

"I'll see what people are cooking. Bring a plate for you?"

"Thanks, Remus." He said, trying to keep the bite out of his voice. He knew that whatever feelings he was having were going to have to be put on the hold for the time being. He wasn't upset with Remus, and he was about to see his children. He didn't want his children to see him bitter and angry.

Even if he was completely justified in feeling that way.

He took a few deep breaths and noticed that when Remus said that he was going to find food for James, he meant immediately because suddenly James was alone for the first time in what felt like months. When he looked around, he didn't immediately see anyone, and as soon as he realized that he had no one around to perform for, he felt his mask start to slip and there didn't seem to be anything he could do to put it back into place. The anger gave way to both relief and fear and his eyes started to sting.

He stumbled toward the edge of the road he'd been walking and leaned up against a tree, further obscuring him from view if anyone happened to come along.

He covered his face with his hands and tried to focus on his breathing, but he couldn't get himself to calm down, he felt the tears spill over, and then he was sliding down the tree until he was sitting on the ground.

It had been too long since he'd let have a moment alone, since he'd let himself truly feel everything for himself, and it was devastating. His heart pinched uncomfortably, his arms shook as though he were cold, but he felt too warm, despite the chill in the air and the frost around him.

He was overwhelmed, he was hurting, he was scared, he was so many different things that all came rushing at him at once, pushing tears down his cheeks and causing him to lose his breath.

He wanted Lily just then. Which, while seemingly obvious, was something of a surprise to him. It surprised him that he'd let her see him in this state of vulnerability, that he wanted her there, not to make him feel better, but to hold him while he let all of this out. He'd been putting on a brave face for her as well, and it wasn't fair to either one of them. He should get to be himself in front of his wife if no one else. He should get to tell Lily that he was scared, or that he didn't know what to do, or that he was tired and needed a break.

The frost seeped through his trousers, making them damp, and finally allowing his body to feel the cold again. When he went to stand up, there was a line of thin ice that had formed around where he'd been sitting, and it made a small crunching noise when he stood up.

It was later now, and he wouldn't be surprised if Remus had beaten him back to the house. The sun was almost entire swallowed by the mountain line in the distance, and he could see the north star as well. He cleared his throat, rubbed his hands over his eyes and started forward. Because that was really all he could do, keep moving.

If he could do that, then maybe someday, everything else would be just fine.

oOo

Sirius pulled at the animal skins that he'd nicked from the supply shed back in the Hollows and then nestled closer to the tree that he'd decided to try and sleep against for the night. The moon was high in the sky and he felt as though it was too bright tonight. He was trying to hide, to blend in, and the cursed sky was doing everything it could to help anyone find him.

He wondered what was going on back at camp. It's been an entire day since he'd left, surely they knew one way or the other, how things were going to go for Lily. He didn't want to be there if things went south. He didn't think he'd ever be able to look James in the eye again if he lost his wife because Sirius had, yet again, trusted the wrong person.

He moved again, to a different side of the tree, trying to hide from the moon in the shadows of the tree now.

He heard a branch break. There was a rustle of leaves.

He pulled his feet up so that he knees were pressed to his chest and looked around. It could have been the wind. It probably  _was_ the wind. And if it wasn't the wind, well, he had his sword. He placed a hand on the hilt, drawing comfort from it.

"Sirius?" He knew that voice. "Is that you?"

He quickly jumped to his feet, "Regulus? What the hell are you doing out here?" He stepped out of the shadows at the same moment his brother did.

"Well I came to find you of course," Regulus stepped up and threw his arms around Sirius, something that he hadn't done in years. "I didn't think you'd be in one piece though."

"Come off it," He stepped back, pushing his brother's hands away. "I was only gone for one day. It takes longer than that to get to Hogsmeade."

"Sure, but trouble has a way of finding you." Regulus grinned. "Oi! Bertram, Frank, I found him!"

There was some rustling and one of them muttered about how 'thank fucking God' because they were cold and tired and hungry. Regulus crossed his arms over his chest and tried his best to appear more stern. "Now what exactly is your plan, brother?"

Bertram came into view first and Sirius shrugged. "I've got to talk to him. I need to know how he could do something like this."

"And I get that," Regulus said quickly, his hand going over his heart. "Of all people, you know that I do. I trusted him too. He was my friend too, but you're going to march into enemy territory and do what exactly? Drag him out?"

"I hadn't thought that far ahead."

"Of course you haven't," Frank came into view now, twigs sticking out of his hair. He ran his fingers through it, trying to get them out. "You're not really known for thinking things through." Sirius glared at him.

"Well it's true. You threated to lite people on fire and then took off into the woods. Not the actions of a responsible and rational person." Bertram chuckled.

"Come back with us," Regulus said, ignoring his companions berating. "You know James is going to want to be in on this, he's going to want answers for what happened to Lily."

"Is she okay?" Sirius asked, noticing that he hadn't said one way or the other.

"We left a few hours after you did," Regulus said. "Nothing had changed."

Sirius sighed and ran his hand over his eyes. When had everything become so complicated.

"James is our friend. We should be there for him no matter what happens. But he's also our king. And we should listen to him and wait for instruction." Regulus was pleading with him. He knew that if Sirius decided to go on, there would be no changing his mind. And he didn't have nearly enough men with him to overpower him.

"I can't go back."

"Of course you can!"

"I can't though," Sirius shook his head. "It's my fault-"

"It's not your fault." Regulus said, his hand settling on Sirius's shoulder. "None of it was your fault and it wasn't fair of me to say otherwise." Sirius's eyes snapped up at that. Regulus had always blamed what had happened to the two of them on Sirius. If he'd paid more attention, or if he'd been more careful then it wouldn't have happened.

And so maybe that's why he sighed, his shoulder dropped, and he said, "Alright. We'll go back."


	14. What's Coming

_"What's comin' will come, an' we'll meet it when it does."_

_― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_

Lily still couldn't sit up the next day. Molly wouldn't even allow her to try. Though it was fairly early in the morning, too early for Lily to complain of boredom, when Emmeline showed up with her children. Harry, who had heard from James that Lily had been hurt, looked a bit fearful to touch her, and Lily wanted nothing more than to throw her arms around him and pull him close, but she couldn't do that. If she moved her arms too much, the pain that shot throughout her body was enough to blur her vision.

"Good morning, my love," She gave him a bright smile, thinking that if she couldn't hug him the least she could do was give him a good smile. She reached out for his hand. "Are you having fun with Emmeline?"

Harry took her offered hand and gave her a tentative smile. "I guess," He shrugged. "She read me a story this morning after dad left."

James had been here already, and it'd been a task to get him to go and train the new recruits. Lily felt bad that she'd had to guilt him a bit about how he was the king and she couldn't take up too much of his time, not when they were in the midst of a crisis.

And then there was the fact that she really wanted him to stay.

She'd wanted him to stay when she'd sent him back to the house to be with the kids after he'd come back to tell her how they were doing as well. But he'd needed to actually sleep, and he wasn't going to do that while leaning against the tables that they'd made into a bed of sorts for her.

It hadn't really hit her until after he'd gone to check on the kids that she had come very close to losing her life. He'd come back and she'd cried and she was fairly sure that he'd been crying, but he just kissed her forehead and told her that everything was going to be fine.

She could tell that Harry was having as hard a time believing that as she was. She kept glancing around the room, looking at all the other people in the room and wondering if any of them also meant her ill will. If any of them meant her family harm. They didn't look angry or violent, but neither had the man who'd attacked her. He was just there to get help, same as everyone else. Or at least he'd looked as though that was all he was there for.

She wanted to trust them, because she was their queen and she knew that they needed help, but she was extra nervous now that Harry and Grace were here. That man had said that she'd been too trusting, and he was right. Her trusting nature had been what put her in danger of him. She tightened her grip on Harry's hand and forced her smile to get wider.

"Well I'm glad that she's been good to you." Lily's smile was heavier now, harder to keep on her face, but she forced herself not to drop it. It wasn't for her after all, it was for Harry.

"When are you coming home?" Harry asked, and Lily's brow narrowed.

"Soon," She promised, and she was fairly confident that she was telling the truth. She turned to look at Grace, who was smiling at Lily without a care in the world, her hands balled into fists as she waved them around by her head in excitement. "Hello, sweet heart," She cooed, feeling herself getting emotional. She took a slow breath and then pressed her lips together. She squeezed Harry's hand again and kept her gaze trained on Grace. She couldn't let anything happen to them. They were her heart.

"Is there anything you'd like me to be doing with them in particular, my queen?" Emmeline pulled her out of her thoughts, and Lily was thankful for that. She'd had much too much time to sit around and worry the last couple of hours.

"As long as they're happy, I don't mind what you're doing, Emmeline." And she was glad that she could truly trust Emmeline. She'd be lost without her. She supposed that Amelia would try and help, and Carrie perhaps, but Amelia didn't know what to do with children and Carrie was pregnant and had her own Grace to think about. Lily would have felt guilty asking her for any more help than she already was.

Emmeline nodded and then Lily thought of something. "Why don't you take them on a walk around town? James said that he'd always wanted to come here in the winter. Let Harry explore." Harry brightened a bit at that. "Also, I don't much want them to spend any more time in here." She looked around again. "I know that there's more security, but they could get sick still." She wanted to put on a brave face, even though she could tell that Emmeline saw through it. "Grace is still so little," She added, even though there weren't any seriously sick individuals in the infirmary, otherwise Grace wouldn't have been brought in here in the first place.

"Of course, my lady." Emmeline bowed her head and then reached for Harry's hand. "Come Harry, let's go exploring." She smiled at him and Harry let go of Lily's hand. She didn't really want them to leave, but she didn't want them to stay either. She sighed heavily as she watched them leave, only to see Remus walked into the room.

He walked over to her and took a seat in the chair that James had vacated earlier that morning.

"Is something wrong?" She asked, trying not to tense up for the sake of her wound.

"I just figured you could use some company." He said with a small shrug. "I didn't want you to think that you had to sit here all by yourself."

"Did James send you?" She asked, a small smile forming.

"He might have. Is that alright?"

"That's perfect," She grinned.

oOo

Sirius's toes were numb, and he thought about stealing Regulus's boots the next time they stopped to eat. His boots were worn thin on the soles and did not do much to keep the frozen earth from leeching what little warm made it down to his lower appendages. It was making him ornery.

"How much longer?" He snapped, looking in the direction of Amos. He didn't know much about Amos, though he knew of his family and was surprised to see him willingly walking near someone like Reginald Cattermole, who might has well have appeared out of thin air for all the favor his name gave him. Actually, appearing out of thin air might have garner him  _more_ favor.

"You're the one who ran off." Regulus reminded him, speaking up before Amos could say anything.

"It's not that much further." Reginald said quietly, rubbing his hands together and then crossing his arms over his chest, stuffing his hands between his arms and his sides. "We'll be going through Yishga soon, and that's the last village before Godric's Hollow."

"Can we stop to eat?" Sirius asked. He noticed how Amos perked up at that, and for some reason they were both looking to Regulus for an answer.

"I don't care." He shrugged. "I'm hungry too."

Sirius didn't know if anyone else felt exactly what he was feeling, but it was something like being torn between wanting to get back as quickly as they could so that they could help, and not wanting to get back at all so he didn't have to know what happened yet. If Lily hadn't made it, he didn't know how he was going to look James in the eyes.

"Don't know why you thought it was a good idea to get rid of your horses." He muttered, for what had to be the forth time in the last hour. Regulus sighed audibly and swung his head in Sirius's direction.

"You got rid of your horse, it was easier to track you on foot. And we found you, so don't question my methods." He snapped.

"My feet are going to be permanently attached to these boots."

"I told you to get new boots months ago."

"And I ignore half of the things you say." Sirius shrugged.

"You're an idiot."

"Shut up," Amos put his hand up to silence the two of them and Sirius was about to go off on him when he heard it too. His hand went to the hilt of his sword, immediately pulling it out as the sound of boots crunching in the snow became more prevalent.

The following sound was Amos and Reginald pulling out their swords as well. Regulus opted for a bow.

They were completely surrounded.

"Evening, boys." Sirius stiffened as a voice he'd once been familiar with rattled it's way through his head, stirring up memories he'd rather leave undisturbed. "And just where do you think you're headed? Not off to see the king, are you?" Sirius looked around until Tom Riddle came into view.

He stood in between two dying pines, one had a streak of black running through it, likely caused by lightening. The other must have suffered from a similar fate, but the damage done was hidden, perhaps underground. All Sirius could make out of Riddle's face was his eyes, which reflected the light in such a way that they seemed to glow. He had the hood of his cloak pulled up and, most infuriatingly, he wasn't holding any sort of weapon.

It was as though he didn't believe them to be a viable threat. Or maybe that he was somehow above harm. Sirius had half a mind to tell Regulus to shoot him in the eye, damn the consequences. What were their lives, for the sake of the entire kingdom?

Regulus seemed to have a similar idea.

"I don't believe that's any of your concern." Regulus spoke up, knocking an arrow into place, the string pulled taught already as his aim centered on Riddle. Sirius knew his brother was more than proficient with a bow, but he couldn't take out all of these men before they returned the favor with some serious damage of their own. They had bows as well. And four times as many people.

"Oh it is most definitely my concern." Riddle argued, taking a few steps toward them, entirely unconcerned with the arrow that Regulus had trained on him. "And you should know that if you do try and shoot me, my men will not aim for you, but rather your brother." He smiled at Regulus and Sirius's knuckles turned white around his sword.

"Fuck them, do it anyway." He muttered, and Regulus shifted beside him.

"Oh, and it'd be such a waste too," Riddle drowned, doing his best to sound as though he would regret ending Sirius's life. "The two of you come from such a wonderful family. The noble and most ancient house of Black. After what I had to do to your parents…." He trialed off, slowly reaching up and pulling back his hood, revealing his face. It was the same as Sirius remembered, just as cold and unforgiving.

And sitting on top of his head, nestled in his graying, dark hair, was James's crown.

"Our parents were rotten people," Regulus surprised Sirius by saying this, and he looked away from Riddle for a moment to try and gauge what Regulus was playing at.

"It took me a long time to realize that they were actually innocent." Riddle kept on as though Regulus hadn't said anything. "They your betrayal wasn't spurred by their prompting, but rather your own stupidity."

"Refusing to join you and your crusade against the poor wasn't stupid." Sirius spat out.

"I have no problem with the poor!" Riddle shouted. "I don't care what they do, or who they turn to while they beg for food and money! I care about those that pretend to be something that they're not! I care that James Potter was sitting on the throne, acting as though he was a noblemen, a royal, when his family is only one of usurpers! He does not  _deserve_ the throne. He is not fit to wear the crown.  _He_ is a filthy blood traitor, and deserves to die for what he's done to this country."

Regulus tensed beside Sirius and Sirius was hoping that he'd just let that stupid arrow fly, that he'd get to watch it lodge itself into Riddles chest, proving that he, just like every other man, bleeds red. Riddle was no different than anyone else, Sirius had to keep reminding himself of this.

Though there was the issue of Peter.

This twisted man had taken Peter, the good and kind Peter that Sirius had known, and done something to him that made him turn against his friends, against everything that he stood for. How had he managed to do that?

"What is your plan here?" Reginald surprised Sirius by speaking up, his tone betraying nothing of what he was feeling and only appearing smooth and calm. Sirius knew nothing about him, but he knew that if he tried to speak just then, he wouldn't be able to achieve that faux level of calm. His tone would be biting and let each man in the circle around them know that he'd have no problem ripping their heads off with his bare hands.

"Our plan? Return England to it's former-"

"Not big picture," Reginald interrupted. "What are you going to do with us?"

Riddle's brow narrowed when Reginald interrupted him.

"What are you going to  _try_ to do with us?" Regulus corrected, and Sirius was quite sure that Riddle had just decided to skin them all alive and then dance over their mangled corpses; if the look he was giving them was anything to go on.

"Well I can't have you all running back to James, can I? And I don't have the energy to bring you all up to my castle and stow you away in the dungeon. So, I suppose you can come to your own conclusions." He shrugged a shoulder and Sirius's back foot moved to anchor himself as he prepared to attack. There was no way he was going down without a fight.

"On your head be it," Amos said, giving Riddle a mock bow. It was then that Sirius realized how much he really liked the men that he was about to die beside.

There was a sharp whistle sounding around them and then two of Riddle's men were down before anyone could register that Regulus was pulling back a second arrow, having shot two men with only one. Sirius wanted to tell him how impressed he was, but as soon as everyone else had realized what he'd just done, all hell broke loose.

The men came charging, having to forsake their bows because of the close proximity. Their swords came out and Sirius realized that they might just have a shot at getting out of here.

After taking out a pair of men, Sirius turned on his heel to try and catch a glimpse of Riddle. He'd love nothing more than to run his blade through that man's chest.

But when he caught sight of him, he saw that he had walked through the clearing that they'd just come from and had a group of men waiting for him there. He felt his heart drop and he realized that the men here were only to wear them out. Riddle had more men, he had others that were deemed less disposable that would come down here when they were finished with these men, and then they would die.

"Run!" Sirius shouted, grabbing the back of Amos's cloak and pulling him back. Amos almost tripped, but caught himself. He looked ready to shout at Sirius, but then he caught sight of Riddle and his small army of men.

"Fall back," He shouted as well, looking around for Reginald as Sirius did the same with Regulus. He had to cut his way through another pair of men to get to his little brother who was all but wrestling one of the men now, both of them had lost their swords.

"We gotta go, kid," Sirius said, pulling Regulus up onto his feet and sending a swift kick at the other man. Regulus bent down and picked up his sword. "Run," He nodded toward Riddle so he would know what was going on, and then the brothers took off in the opposite direction. Amos and Reginald hot on their heels as they pushed forward, leaving the fight behind them.

It didn't take Riddle's men long to realize that they were bolting of course, as there was no where to hide, but they had managed to act swiftly, and so they had quite a substantial head start and Sirius wasn't going to look back to see if they were gaining on them or not.

He pushed himself harder as he started to hear the footfalls of the men running behind him. They didn't sound close, only made loud by the number of men running.

They couldn't keep this up forever, neither group could. It was a ridiculous pace, but running for your life was quite the motivator.

"Where are we running too?" Amos yelled out, and Sirius continued to desperately search the forest for somewhere that they could hide. The forest was thick now, roots popping up all over the place, making it very difficult to both run and search for a place to hide, but he couldn't stop looking.

He was faintly aware of hearing something hitting against the tree, and he assumed they were arrows. He was only surprised that they hadn't used them earlier. "Faster!" He shouted, "We'll lose them in the rocks over there," He couldn't point without letting the men behind him in on their plan, so instead they continued to weave in and out of the trees, doing their best to keep out of sight, and then Sirius dove behind a large rock, giving himself exactly two seconds to orient himself, and then he was off again, jumping and dashing behind boulders.

He looked behind him for only a moment, saw that Amos was immediately behind him and didn't see anyone too close behind them and then he started climbing up the rocks. It wasn't too difficult, as the climb didn't require them to stop running. When they made it to the trees again, Sirius quickly pulled himself behind one of the large trunks and leaned up against it.

His breathing came out hard, and he could hear the others trying to catch their breath too.

"They came this way!" Someone shouted from down in the rocks. It echoed around and bounced off the rocks and the trees, making it hard to tell just how far away this man was and if it was safe to check.

Sirius looked to his left and saw Reginald, and then he looked to his right and saw Amos-

Where was Regulus?

"He's not going to be happy if we go back without them." Another voice said.

"We only got one of them." Sirius's heart sank. They had Regulus?

"I know how many of them we got. One in four Is not great and he's going to be angry!"

Sirius couldn't hear what they were saying anymore, and he was no longer concerned about being caught or now. He'd let his little brother get taken by Riddle's men.

He hadn't even noticed when they'd lost him.

"Breathe." Reginald whispered at him, the leaves and trees around them working to muffle their voices, keep them from the men at the bottom of the hill. "We'll do what we can to get him back."

But Sirius had heard Riddle say that he'd meant to kill them all.

He knew that there was nothing he could do for his little brother.

oOo

James was shaking his head at Molly  _again,_ and Molly had her hand on her hip  _again_  and Lily was tired of it.

"I'm going home." She said, looking at James as she said it. "I know that you're worried about me, but Molly said that it's fine as long as I stay in bed and let myself heal. And that's what I plan to do. I just don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to take up space if I don't need to be here. Which I don't." She quickly added before James could interject.

She didn't want to add just then, that she also wanted to go home because she was quite tired of being around so many different people for such an extended amount of time. It had been four days. Four days that she hadn't been able to see her children off to sleep, four days without James sleeping peacefully beside her, four days of trying to sleep on a table while at least a dozen people around her snored. People she didn't know. People who could have come from anywhere with any kind of intentions…

She also couldn't shake the nightmares.

"I don't like it." James said quietly, his hand in his hair.

"I wouldn't send her off if I didn't think she'd be alright." Molly sounded almost angry at the thought that she'd put out there herself.

"I know you wouldn't."

"And Molly does live with us. If something happens, she won't be far off." Lily added.

"I know that."

"James, I don't want to be here anymore." She said. She'd already made up her mind to leave, but she wanted him to feel comfortable with her decision.

He looked back and forth between the two of them and then sighed. "Fine." He reached a hand out so that he could help Lily get into a sitting position – because she was still laying on the stupid table – and then he realized that he was going to have to do more than that because she couldn't do anything with her stomach muscles at all. It hurt to  _sneeze_. It hurt a lot to sneeze.

Once she was finally on her feet, she took his hand, laced their fingers together and gave it a tight squeeze. "Thank you, love." She said, feeling a bit wobbly on her feet, but overall, pretty proud of herself. "Now please take me home. I only got to spend a couple of nights there, and it is much more comfortable." She tried to joke, and it worked to get the corners of his mouth to turn up.

"I suppose it was unfair of me to expect you to sleep on a table after you finally just got back into a real bed."

"Very unfair." She agreed, nodding slowly.

And then he started leading her toward the exit. She knew that she couldn't move quickly, but she'd never wanted to be out of a place more than she did right now.

Once they were out on the street, she squeezed his hand tighter and had to work to keep her breathing steady.

"Are you alright? Should I get Molly? What's the matter?"

Lily shook her head. "I'm fine, I'm not hurt." She said first, because he'd gone a bit pale and she didn't want him to worry. "I just- I really didn't want to be in there anymore. And I knew that but stepping outside…" It was a liberating feeling that had just washed over her. "I didn't want to be in there anymore." She said more quietly, her voice cracking at the end.

James' shoulders dropped. "Of course you didn't. That's where you got hurt."

"I've been treating sick and injured people for months now, and I've never given a thought as to who they were before they appeared before me, I never thought that any of them could wish to harm me. Not after we told everyone who we were and convinced them that we actually wanted to help. I know that it was stupid to not be on guard- and when that man started talking to me, I knew… I knew that something was wrong and I was trying to get out of there, I was trying to get away from him but I couldn't!" She was on the edge of hysteria now, and the deeper breaths that she was taking was definitely hurting her wound. Molly had told her that she'd need to take it easy for a while.

James stopped in the middle of the street and stepped in front of her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "I should have guessed that that's why you wanted to leave. I should have been thinking about all the dangers as well."

She shook her head against. "Even if you had, I wouldn't have wanted to listen to you. I still want to help them, and I hate that I'm afraid now."

"Lily, it's only been a couple of days. You've got to give yourself more time than that to stop being afraid of what happened."

"I just feel like I should be able to handle this after everything else that's happened. I could have been injured or killed a dozen other times between now and the castle being taken, and who knows how many times before then? But none of that has really gotten to me, not truly. But this?"

"You were stabbed, Lily." James said, enouncing each word as though he thought that she might not be fully aware of that.

"I know that I was stabbed… but I'm fine. And that one man working for Riddle shouldn't frighten me out of helping my people. We don't have all that many people who can stitch people up and keep up with Molly, I need to help." But he'd looked just like everyone else. If she went back to helping people, how was she going to be able to tell who was friend and who was foe?

He smiled at her and stepped closer. Lily was fully aware that there were many people walking around town around them, but then his hand was on her cheek and she wasn't aware of that anymore.

He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, and then the tip of her nose and then her lips. "You are the strongest,  _bravest_ person I have ever met, Lily. But you're expecting much too much from yourself."

She pressed her lips together and reached up, gripping his wrist as he brushed his thumb over her cheek. "I know." She said quietly. "But we don't really have much choice in the matter. We have to push ourselves because they're counting on us."

"I know," He nodded. "But it's alright to take a moment when you need it. Otherwise you're not going to be able to be there for them when they need you. You have to take care of yourself too."

"I'm going to take the bedrest." She sighed, looking at his shoulder.

He smirked at her, and pressed another kiss to her cheek this time. "Not just your wound love, not just when you're injured. You need to take care of yourself all the time. When things get too heavy, set it all down for a minute."

She narrowed her eyes and looked back up at him. "You're getting a bit poetic on me." She said, wondering when he'd come to this conclusion. She remembered his eyes being red when he came back to her last night after checking on the kids.

"I realized that I couldn't keep holding everything in a couple of days ago." He shrugged, averting his gaze.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked. She wanted to reach up and turn his face back toward hers, but she couldn't reach his face. His wrist was as high as her hand would go, so she just gave it a squeeze and luckily he looked back at her.

"I'm alright now. As long as you're alright, I'm alright." His smile didn't quite reach his eyes and she'd known that he'd been scared, but she didn't like seeing it this plainly. She didn't like that he was trying to hide it.

"Don't do that." She said, "Not with me."

He kissed her chastely and then turned so they could head back down the road. "I  _will_  be alright." He amended.

She nodded, "We both will be."

oOo

James was going to have to leave for Hogsmeade soon, and he hated that he was running out of reasons to postpone it.

And he was doing what he could to avoid thinking about the man who was sitting in the prison right now with his wife's blood still on him. He didn't trust himself to carry out a punishment, and after talking with Lily, they had decided that he could just stay in the jail for now with the rest of Riddle's men. Moody had talked to him though, and his talk had been a bit more fruitful than Sirius's, with fewer threats to light people on fire as well.

It had only been a few days, and he'd reinstated training sessions now, but that wasn't really enough. These people wanted to take back their country, and they wanted to do it now.

Moody and Dumbledore seemed to understand James' concern that the new recruits were at a disadvantage because they had only trained for a week or so, but the recruits themselves were happy about it. They were ready to go.

Hestia in particular, was ready for a fight.

"Stop taking it easy on me," She said to Frank, her hair tied back rather uselessly because it kept falling out anyway. Her curls were everywhere.

"I'm not going to stop taking it easy on you," Frank muttered, knocking her sword out of her hand and then pausing so she could go and pick it up again. Hestia wasn't great with a sword, but she was good with a bow. And a knife.

James was about to step in and give her a few pointers, when he heard some shouting coming from behind him. He already had his sword in his hand, but he felt a wave of helplessness sweep through him before he found his footing.

He didn't need to be ready to fight just then though, because it turned out that the commotion was caused by Sirius finally returning.

James started toward his friend, smiling at him until he saw the look on Sirius' face. Was he angry that James had allowed people to go after him? That he'd stopped him from getting himself killed.

"We have to go to Hogsmeade. Now." Sirius said, his hands clenched at his side. He didn't look as though he'd slept recently, he had bags under his eyes and they were red around the rim.

"I know that we have to leave soon, but we have to be ready."

"They took Regulus." He said and James felt his heart drop to his feet. Someone could only feel that so many times before they just stopped feeling at all, right?

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, Regulus came to get me, Riddle caught up to us, and they took him. We only just managed to get away. And we need to leave immediately."

James floundered for another few moments, looking at Sirius and then at the ground.

"Lily's alright?" Sirius asked after a moment of his silence.

"Yeah, she's bedridden though. The wound reopens when she coughs to much."

"We need to leave."

James knew that he was right, they did need to leave. He wasn't doing anything for Lily by staying here, he couldn't help her when she started bleeding except by running to get Molly, and anyone could do that. He needed to go and get Riddle out of their home so they could go back to the castle.

His hand was in his hair and he nodded, instantly regretting it because he knew that a simple nod from him would set things in motion. He had to be sure, he had to be confident. "We'll leave tomorrow morning. We'll need to spend the rest of the afternoon packing supplies and weapons." He looked over and saw that Hestia and Frank were both standing nearby, listening. "Go and tell Moody and Dumbledore. I want everyone to focus on preparing to leave." Hestia smiled at him and James wondered if she would survive any of the fight with Riddle's men. He wondered if any of them would. He could only guess at how many people Riddle had working for him.

Hestia and Frank hurried off and James ran his hand over his beard. "My plan was to avoid war once I was on the throne."

"You can't avoid this one." Sirius said, and James couldn't read his tone. "But it wasn't your fault and I'm sorry that I said that it was."

James narrowed his brow. "It wasn't  _your_  fault, Sirius. None of it was."

"Thanks." He muttered, crossing his arms over his chest and James could tell that he didn't believe him. Though to be fair, James didn't believe Sirius either. It had to be someone's fault and James was the king, it seemed fitting that the blame should fall on his shoulders. And if he was being honest, he could see why Sirius blamed himself.

"You should know a few things that Riddle said," Sirius shifted from one foot to the other and his arms tightened over his chest. "He's after you personally, thinks you're a false prince, that your bloodline isn't pure."

James narrowed his brow and cleared his throat. "My blood line isn't pure? What does that even mean?"

"I don't think he likes Lily." Sirius averted his gaze. "She was just barely a noble when you married her, and this bloke is… he said that he didn't want to kill me or Regulus because we came from good people."

"Didn't he murder your family?"

"Yes, but only because he thought I acted on their orders."

"Oh." James' brow was furrowed and his hand went back to his beard. "So, he just wants to kill me and my family then? He's not going to stop until that happens?"

"It didn't sound like it. He's insane, James."

"Well that might bode well for Regulus then."

"If he plays it right." Sirius quieted. "But he's different now. If he'd been taken before, I wouldn't have worried about him. But he's been so protective of all the people we've helped, I don't know if he can keep his mouth shut while Riddle drags on about how far you've dragged our country into the muck or how terrible Lily is because she's not from one of the old families."

"He's a smart kid and he knows that we're on our way to help." James tried to reason, narrowing his brow. He didn't like hearing about how anyone thought less of Lily, even Riddle. "He'll play is well, we just have to be fast."

"It's common knowledge, what the two of us did. Everyone knows about it."

"You mean the Robinhood stories?"

Sirius nodded. "They're not going to let him live, even if he plays it smart."

"Then let's hope they opt for a public execution," Sirius looked about ready to shout at James but then his anger faded.

"That would give us a chance to save him," He nodded. "We'll have to be fast. They have a two days lead on us."

James nodded, "We'll have to be fast."

oOo

Lily could hear the sounds of everyone getting ready from her bed. She knew before James walked into the room that they'd be leaving soon.

And when he did finally walk into the room to tell her, his shoulders were sagged, he couldn't meet her eyes and his feet were dragging.

"I didn't think that you'd be staying for much longer." She said, trying to make this easier for him. "I'm actually surprised that you've stayed as long as you have." She said before he could say anything.

He got up on the bed and shuffled over so that he was sitting right next to her. "I don't want to leave you, especially not when you're stuck in bed."

"I know you don't, but we don't have much by way of options, James."

"Reminding me of that isn't going to make me feel any better about leaving."

"I'm just saying that it's outside of your control. You're not choosing to leave."

"I don't really get to choose to do anything though, do I?" Lily cursed herself for forgetting that James would not find her words comforting. He'd grown up with so little control over his personal life, and while she'd just meant to tell him that she knew he wasn't leaving because he wanted to, that's not how he saw it. He saw it as his title taking him away from where he really wanted to be.

She reached out and took his hand. "I know that we've got a lot on our plates at the moment, but one day we're going to get to spend so much time together that we'll get sick of it and you'll go and spend time with your knights so that you can tell them stories about how you defeated Riddle." He gave her a wry smile.

"If you say so." He squeezed her hand. "Though, just so you know, it'd have to be an awfully long time for that to even be possible. I don't think I'll ever get sick of being with you."

"Well then you should know that I'm looking forward to having a very long time with you after all of this. Plenty of time for you to get sick of me." She assured him.

He smiled at her, and she smiled back when she saw that it reached his eyes. "Good," He said softly. "That all sound very good to me." He squeezed his hand and leaned over to press a kiss to her temple.

OOo

Packing went by much faster than James would have liked. He wanted it to take longer for many small reason, and one very large reason. The later of which being that he wasn't yet ready to leave his family. But he knew that it could have taken them a year to pack and he still wouldn't be ready. He was more reserved about leaving because Lily was injured, but she could have been in perfect physical condition and he still wouldn't have wanted to part from her. They really had become a team over the last couple of months; though there had been something extra special about the last few weeks.

He wasn't ready to move on without his partner, even if he knew that it was only temporary.

But he knew that he had to push forward. He had to think about Regulus, and all the other people who were currently in danger because of Riddle.

And with Sirius hovering nervously behind James everywhere the King stepped, it was very hard to forget about Regulus.

"We're ready to head out when you are, your highness." Amos nodded at James and stood at attention, Reginald and Remus in line beside him. There were a few others around them trying to mimic their posture and attitude and James wondered if it made them feel better to do so, because he'd said nothing about how they should hold themselves. This entire ordeal was chaotic, and he didn't think it would help to try and have it be overly structured all of a sudden.

James nodded and looked over at the house. He'd said goodbye to Lily this morning. She still wasn't up and about yet, it had only been a couple of days, but he wished that he could see her just then.

He caught sight of Harry though, and lucky he did, because his son was currently climbing up the side of one of the packed carts, fully intent on stowing away beneath all the supplies.

"I'll need to tend to my son and then we'll be on our way," James said, starting toward the cart.

"You've already said your goodbyes, James. We need to go." Sirius said, his voice tight. James didn't turn to tell him anything and just walked up to the cart, leaned over the side until he saw the top of his son's head. "Ah, fuck." Sirius muttered when he did catch on, and he fell back, letting James have a minute alone with Harry.

"What exactly is the plan here, lad?" He asked in a soft voice, as though he was conspiring with him. Harry's head whipped around, his hands going up to cover his eyes. James waited a moment until Harry lowered his hands and then reached out and ran his fingers through his son's hair. "You don't much look like a sack of grain."

Harry looked around and then stuck out his bottom lip, clenching his hands at his side. "I wanted to come with you." He said quietly. "I don't want you to leave again."

"I don't want to leave again either, especially not without you and your mum and sister." He said, and Harry leaned against James' hand, reaching up to grab at his wrist. James was quite sure that Harry had no intention of letting go.

"Then don't go." He pouted, pulling on James' arm. "Stay here."

James sighed and reached into the cart, pulling the prince from the sacks of grain and into a crushing hug. "One day soon, we'll all be back home, together. But for now, I need to go and help our people. I need to stop the bad man from hurting anyone else." He pulled back and looked at Harry. "Do you understand that?"

"Someone else can do it." He said quietly, rubbing at his eyes with a little fist.

"A good king doesn't pass on hard tasks to others." James said, though he very much wanted to stay.

"I want to come." He got a little louder. "I want to go with you!"

"And leave your mother alone?" James raised his brow. Harry hesitated for a moment and then shook his head.

"She wouldn't be alone! She has baby Gracie!"

"Of course she does, but baby Grace can't talk to her yet, can she?" Harry scrunched up his face, trying to think of a way around this. "And mum is sick right now, she needs you to stay here and help her out.  _I_ need you to stay here and watch over her. Can you do that for me, Harry?"

He shifted in James' arms and James reached up to wipe his tears as they slid down his cheeks. "I want to go with you, dad." Harry cried and burrowed into James' chest. James closed his eyes and held him close for a moment. He knew that everyone was waiting for him, but he allowed himself just one more moment with his son.

"I love you, Harry. I'll see you again soon, alright?" He kissed the side of his head. "Take good care of mum, yes?"

Harry sniffed as James reluctantly set him on the ground. "I will." He said, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

"I love you, Harry." He said again.

"I love you, daddy."

And then James had to do that hardest thing he'd ever been forced to do as king. He had to turn around and walk away. "Let's head out." He said, his voice thick. He took a deep breath and felt someone put a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Sirius next to him.

"We'll get back to them soon, James." He promised, and James felt a rush of gratitude for his friend just then. He knew that Sirius was having a hard time with everything that was going on with Peter and his brother, he didn't know if Regulus was even alive at this point, but he'd taken the time to be soft with James, to let him know that he was on his side and that they were going to do whatever needed to be done together.

James nodded and took a deep breath.

What's coming would come, and they would be ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And of course, reviews are wonderful <3


	15. Nonsensical Pinning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Alright buds, I made this chapter a bit longer than usual because you probably won't be getting an update next weekend. I'm currently in Missouri and don't have wifi. Probably. I'm still going to write, I have my laptop with me and it's going to be too hot to be outside for a good part of the day, so I'm hoping to get a decent amount of the rest of this story done in the upcoming week. If that's the case, you can expect a double update come the 19th, or I'll split it up and post one of the chapters on Wednesday or something IDK yet.
> 
> tl;dr I won't be updating next weekend because I'm on vacation.
> 
> Reviews are wonderful and I live for them!

_The simple lack of her is more to me than others' presence._

_— Edward Thomas_

or

_" Absence is to love as wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small and kindles the great."– Roger de Bussy-Rabutin_

They made good time.

Hogsmeade soon came into view, just short of a week of traveling. They hadn't been expecting to get there so quickly, but they'd been motivated, and James had stopped feeling the need to drag his feet as soon as they left the Hollows. Now he just wanted to get it all done so that he could get back to his family. Everyone else seemed to be of the same mindset.

They made camp on the edge of the city, ready to attack that night. They knew that it wouldn't be like it was in Godric's Hollow. They had thrown Riddle a false lead, sent out word that they were going to attack a different city that time. This would be more like the first time that they'd tried to take the city. People would probably die, they would definitely get hurt, and the odds of them being completely successful were slim to none.

None of that was in James' speech that he gave to his men (and Hestia) that night though. He spoke of glory and honor and taking back what was theirs. He spoke of rescuing those who had been held hostage, those that had been wrongfully imprisoned and those who were suffering at the hands of Riddle's men. He talked up their courage, their anger, their hope and by the end of it all, he could see it shining back in their eyes. They were ready.

"Do you think he's here?" Sirius asked from James's side as they moved to take their positions.

"Riddle?" James asked.

"I suppose that's a good question too." Sirius sighed. "But no. Do you think Regulus is here?"

"I think Regulus is wherever Riddle is." James answered, looking around and lowering his voice again before continuing. "I'm surprised that he hasn't tried to use him to draw you out or something. The way you said he was going on the other day."

"He's mad, James." Sirius muttered, pushing his hair back from his face. "Completely unhinged."

"You threatened to light people on fire the other day." James reminded him, not wanting things to get too grim now.

"They deserved it though." Sirius countered, almost smiling. He seemed less tense now as well. Going out and getting things started had done wonders for both of them.

James made sure that his footfalls were as close to silent as he could get them as they got closer to the city. Hogsmeade was larger than Godric's Hollow. There were more people ambling about despite the setting sun, there were more shops, more innocent people that could get caught in the crossfire if James wasn't careful.

There was nothing else he could do just then though, because everything had been planned down to the letter, and all they could do now was carry out their plan.

"You ready?" He asked, looking back at Sirius again.

The other man nodded and James slipped onto the main road and pulled his hood up to cover his face.

oOo

They hadn't taken everyone with them when they left. They couldn't leave the town unprotected, but their lack of presence was felt.

Moody had, quite surprisingly, decided to stay behind. Lily was glad for it though because he made sure that all the other soldier got up every morning and trained. She didn't know if anyone would have stepped up into that role otherwise, and getting to watch the soldiers every morning reminded everyone else in the town that they had people protecting them.

Though Lily had a feeling that it was his disdain for taking orders that truly prompted him to stay behind. He got to make the rules for those still in town.

It'd been just over a week now and Lily was anxiously awaiting news from James. She didn't know if they'd even made it to the town yet, she'd counted each of the eight days that had gone by carefully, trying to work it out in her head, but she had no way of knowing how their travels were going. One of their carts could have broken which would have delayed them, a horse could have slipped on a patch of ice, or perhaps Riddle had a group of men go out and meet them in the middle and the battle had already happened days ago.

Lily was sitting up in bed, Grace laying on her stomach next to her. The little girl was almost four months old now and was always smiling and looking around. Her wide hazel eyes sometimes looked over Lily so intensely that she could have sworn that she knew more than was possible. She just got this look on her face sometimes and Lily expected her to open her mouth and speak to her in full sentences.

That's when she would call Mary into the room and demand to converse with a grown up. She had been cooped up in her room since James had left, and she had half a mind to blame him for it. Molly was being extra cautious with her and she thought it had something to do with James.

Of course, it could also be because she was queen, and Molly didn't want Lily to do anything that could threaten the standing of their nation any further. Like die. That certainly wouldn't be good for moral.

"Mary!" She called in the direction of the door, and Emmeline walked in instead. Lily smiled at her, and tried to push aside the slight disappointment. She liked Emmeline of course, and she was wonderful with the children, but Mary and her had become very close. And because Emmeline had been with her back in the castle, she felt as though there was still some kind of barrier between them.

"Do you need something, my lady?" She asked, smiling at Grace as she walked closer to the bed. She reached out and let Grace wrap her little fingers around one of hers and Lily smiled softly at the two of them.

"I just need someone to talk to." She said, wondering exactly how Emmeline would respond to that. "I'm tired of being stuck in my room, and I can't stop thinking about James and Remus and Sirius and Regulus, and I have no way of knowing if they're okay or not."

"Have you sent them your love?" Emmeline asked, looking over at Lily, Grace's hand still wrapped around her finger.

"Sent them my love?" Lily asked.

"To keep them safe." Emmeline nodded. "My mum used to do that whenever my dad had to go away. He was a fisherman, and my mum was terrified that he'd get swallowed up by the sea on one of his adventures and that he'd never make it back to us. He always did though, and he said it was because he could feel her heart beating next to his. Because she'd sent her love." Lily couldn't help the smile that came over her. That was such a lovely story, and something that she hadn't expected to hear from her nursemaid.

"And how does one send their love? Is there a special way to do it?"

Emmeline grinned at her and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Mum would light a candle and open a window. Her love and well wishes would get swept up in the wind until they reached my dad."

"Your parents must have loved each other very much." Lily said, looking toward the window.

"They did." She nodded. "And you must love J-James very much." She tripped over his name sans the title, but Lily did appreciate her attempt at slightly flawed personability.

"I do love him," She nodded. "And I feel as though we've been robbed of our time together. You remember what things were like back in the castle."

Emmeline nodded and looked down at her free hand. "I was surprised to find that you were so much happier out here." She said and then looked up at her. "Pleasantly surprised I assure you."

"Well thank you." Lily grinned. "Can you fetch a candle for me?"

"Of course, Lily." Emmeline smiled. She carefully extracted her finger from Grace's grip and stood up to go and find Lily a candle.

She knew that it seemed silly to send her love threw an open window, and she knew that it wasn't going to affect anything that was going to happen. Well, she knew that it  _probably_ wasn't going to change anything. She knew that the idea of sending her love as a means of protection seemed silly. But it was also just the kind of fanciful thinking that she'd been so fond of before she'd became Queen that she couldn't help herself.

Emmeline came back in with a candle already lit and set it carefully on the bedside table near Lily. Then she walked over and pushed open the window. "I'll stand over here so that I can close it as soon as your done. We don't want too much of the winter air getting in."

Lily sat up a bit straighter and put her hand on Grace's back. She didn't know if she was supposed to speak out loud or not, but she didn't feel the need to. Instead she closed her eyes and pictured James smile. His smile when Harry came running up to him after he came home late, his smile when he saw Grace smile for the first time, his smile when she'd told him that she was proud of him. All the different smiles that he had that filled her heart and made her a bit weak in the knees.

"Blow out the candle when your done," Emmeline prompted quietly. Lily nodded and then reached for the candle. She had to do so carefully, because despite thinking that she no longer needed to be on bedrest, she was still sore.

She gripped the candle and brought it over to her. With her eyes still closed she gently blew out the flame and shortly afterward she heard Emmeline close the window. "I'll add an extra log to the fire now."

Lily opened her eyes and looked around the room. Everything looked the same of course, but she felt lighter. She wondered if that might be the real trick of it all. For the first time in days, she felt as though she might just be able to catch her breath. The thought of sleeping through the night didn't seem so elusive.

"Harry was wondering if he'd be allowed to sleep in your bed again tonight." Emmeline said as she walked back toward the bed, brushing her hands on her skirts after adding more logs to the fire.

"Of course he can." Lily narrowed her brow slightly. "I hate having this bed all to myself. Sometimes it seems as though it's as large as our hut was back in the woods."

Emmeline smiled, "It's not much smaller. I only asked because I didn't want to say yes without having asked. You're his mother, but your still entitled to your own bed if you wish to have it."

"No I'm not." Lily smiled and shook her head. "Though I do appreciate that you thought to check."

"Of course," She nodded. "May I fetch you anything?"

"No, no," Lily shook her head and her gaze drifted back toward the window. "I'm quite alright now, thank you."

oOo

It was nothing like it had been back in the Hollows.

There were so many men everywhere. And while Sirius had warned him of this, the man that had attacked Lily had even warned him of this under duress, but he was not prepared. James Potter had never once been in a proper battle before and he found it to be more than a little overwhelming and wholly unpleasant. Why would anyone engage in this simply for the sport of it?

Of course, he didn't know that Riddle was doing all of this simply for the sport of it, though he was having a difficult time coming up with a better reason despite his best efforts to force himself to remember that Riddle was a mortal man same as himself. A prejudice, horrible man, but a man just the same.

He had his sword in hand and Sirius at his back and they were doing their best to cut their way through town. They didn't know where Regulus would be held while Riddle was in town, if Riddle was in town, but they had to assume that it was either the jailhouse or somewhere within the royal manor. It was more stately than the house in the Hollows, many more unnecessary rooms, and many more hiding places. It would take ages to find him if he was hidden there, but James was hopeful that he'd be in the jailhouse.

He was hopeful that he'd be in the jailhouse, but he was starting to lose faith that they would be able to make it there. He couldn't even see the jailhouse yet. There were too many men around.

He felt a sword come down hard on his left shoulder and yelled out in pain. He spun to find a man readying to run him through and quickly forgot the pain in his shoulder in favor of readying himself for the attack.

James was skilled with a sword, and could easily hold his own against a man or two of lesser skill. But as soon as this man's sword was deflected, there was another one coming at him from another angle, and then another and another. This wasn't a dance that he'd be able to keep up for long.

There was a gently breeze coming from the direction of the forest, and he thought it odd that he could take note of such a thing in the midst of everything. It was light and warm, despite the snow on the ground, and pushed his hair back from his face, but was otherwise unnoteworthy.

And suddenly his heart pushed him to remember his wife.

He couldn't stay here. If he stayed here any longer he was going to be killed. "We have to go back," James called out to Sirius, looking around him as he continued to fend off swords. "We're not getting anywhere." He reached out and grabbed Sirius's collar and carefully maneuvered the both of them so that they had their backs up against a building. It was easier now, to not get one of his limbs cut off.

They made their way back toward the edge of the forest, making sure to keep something up against their backs, and when they were close enough to the wood, James gave a whistle and with about as much accuracy as James could hope for from a group of men that had only just learned how to hold a bow properly, arrows began to rain down on James and Sirius's pursuers.

They both took the opportunity to dodge behind a pair of trees and let the arrows do their job of either taking down the men or making them run off. James turned to see that a few men had thought to use flaming arrows. He hoped that it was his knights as he didn't want one to go astray and burn down someone's home on accident.

He pushed his hair back and leaned back against the tree, turning his head to look at Sirius.

"We shouldn't have retreated." Sirius barked out, his face red in anger or adrenaline or both.

"We would have died if we kept it up." James countered. "We need a new plan."

"They're going to kill him now. They're know that we're here!"

James wanted to counter that they didn't know if Regulus was even still alive at this point, but he knew it would do much good. "We're not going to give them enough time to do anything. We just need to go to our alternate plan."

James looked behind the tree again, and when he was satisfied that he wouldn't get shot with an arrow, or ran through with a sword, he stepped out from behind the tree and started into the woods.

The sky was turning pink now. The sun would be up soon, and even though James would prefer to attack at night, they were out of time and out of options. They'd have to charge the city and risk innocents getting hurt. It wasn't ideal, it wasn't at all what he wanted to do, but they couldn't just sit around and wait. The faster they took the city, the more likely they would be able to saver Regulus, and the more people they would get out of Riddle's clutches.

"We're going to charge the city." James said to Dumbledore as he walked up to him. The older man was leaning against a cart well within the woods. He didn't have a weapon that James could see, and James felt as though that were inherently arrogant of him. They were at war after all.

"That is dangerous."

"It is." James agreed, because it was. "But we have to. It's the only way to get to Regulus."

Dumbledore was quiet for a moment. "We lost the element of surprise a long while back, didn't we?" He sighed. "I suppose you're right."

"I wasn't looking for you to agree with me, though I'm glad that you do." He pushed himself up on the cart and looked around at the men he had with him. There were only around one hundred of them. A few dozen from the camp, a couple more from Dumbledore's group, and the rest were from Godric's Hollow and the surrounding area. If they managed to take Hogsmeade, they would have a good number more men to help them fight.

"James," Sirius spoke up, grabbing James' right arm and pulling him back to the ground before he was up on the cart all the way. "You're bleeding, mate. Quite a lot." He nodded at his left shoulder and James looked over at it. He'd forgotten that he'd been hit with a sword and blinked at it, surprised.

"Right," He nodded. "I'll take care of that later."

"I don't think so," Sirius said, pulling on his right arm again as James took another step toward the cart. "Hestia!" He called out and the curly haired girl quickly appeared.

"Well shit, James," She sighed, reaching out for his arm. James sighed and tried to pull away, but she wouldn't let him.

"We can deal with this afterward, we need to go into town now." James argued.

"We will," Sirius said, "But I think you should stay here. You can't fight like that."

"It doesn't hurt!" James argued, but now that he was paying attention to the wound, he could feel the sting spreading throughout his arm and across his shoulder. He knew that come tomorrow, he wasn't going to be able to move it. That only made him more determined to be useful now. "We don't have time to argue about it."

"You're right, we don't. I need to splint this. And stitch it up." Hestia said through clenched teeth. "Which means that I'll need to stay here with you." James narrowed his brow and looked at her. He knew how much she wanted to fight, she'd told everyone how badly she wanted to fight Riddle's men since James had told her she could come with them. And now she was suggesting that she stay behind to tend to his wound.

"Is it that bad?" He asked quietly, looking down at his wound again. He tried to really look this time, but his tunic was sticking up and he couldn't see around it. He did notice that his sleeve was sticking to his arm though, which meant there had to be quite a bit of blood.

"I'll take the men in, James." Sirius said, putting his hand on James' good shoulder now. "There's no point to any of this if you don't get out of it alive."

"I don't know about that," James said, but Sirius was quick to counter him.

"You think Lily and Harry and Grace will be alright without you? This man will hunt them down once you're out of the way." Sirius reminded them, and James closed his eyes. "Now, you're going to stay here and get put back together, and I'm going to go and get my brother back. And hopefully take back the town."

"Don't try and take the town, just get Regulus and come back." James said, resigned now, that he would stay here and watch his men ride off. He'd just told Harry how kings weren't meant to pass off the hard tasks, and he couldn't help but feel as though that's what he was doing.

"This isn't your fault." Hestia said, as Sirius climbed up on the cart to call everyone to attention and tell them the change of plans.

"I'm the king," James said, giving her an amused look. "Everything is technically my fault."

oOo

Sirius couldn't say that he was glad James was injured, but he was glad that James being injured prevented him from coming back into town. Sirius had been distracted enough walking into town with James the first time, and while he miraculously didn't blame himself for James getting injured, he knew that he needed to focus, and he could do that now that he didn't have James to worry about.

They'd split up into four groups and chose four corners of the city to come in from. They would cut their way through until they met in the middle, or the middle that they'd chosen anyway. The jailhouse.

Sirius's breathing was stilted, and his heart was in his throat. Their first plan hadn't worked, and it had him on edge. He had known going in that their first plan might not work, that's why they had a few different plans, but then James was injured, and he hadn't counted on that happening even if now, he was thinking that it didn't seem like the worst thing that could have happened.

The men that had chased them out of the city only an hour ago were still where they had left them. They seemed to have cleaned themselves up and disposed of those unlucky enough to have been cut down by their archers. Sirius had his sword in it's hilt and held a bow himself, and as soon as he had a target in view, he started letting arrows fly. Frank was next to him on one side and Reginald on the other. Neither of them was all that great with a bow, and he wished that Hestia, of all people, was with him. Somehow she'd gotten rather good at the bow and he could use her accuracy.

It didn't end up mattering all that much though, because even though they had gone back to their posts, they didn't seem nearly as prepared for this attack as they had the first one. After Sirius hit his first mark, they scrambled for too long before finding their footing and it made taking them out too easy.

They made it further than he and James had gone and Sirius let himself take a deep breath.

The small group of them were able to make it through the city streets quietly, Sirius quickly and efficiently taking out their obstacles. It didn't dawn on him that the streets seemed to be a bit emptier than they should have been after the city had just been attacked. They hadn't put that much of a dent in their defenses with their archers. And the sun was peeking up over the horizon now, there should have been people ambling about, starting their day. But there wasn't. The streets were empty after they got past the original guards.

Sirius saw the jailhouse come into view and he picked up the pace, eager to get his little brother out of there.

The door was lighter than it should have been, no locks impeding his storming into the building.

The empty building.

There was absolutely no one in the jailhouse. And it didn't sit right with him.

He ran back out to the streets and realized that there wasn't a soul around him that he hadn't marched to the city with. He looked around at the houses, and he knew that the hour was early, but there were no lights on in the houses, no smells of breakfast being cooked.

He swore under his breath and took off running toward the royal manor.

Still, he found nothing in his path. No guards, no locks, no closed gates even. In fact, the front door of the manor had been left open. Remus had joined them by the time they reached the manor and tried to pull him back.

"It's a trap." He said. "Let me go first."

He could tell that Remus was afraid of what they would find inside. The jail was empty, Riddle had clearly deserted the city and if there were people left in town, they were too frightened to even have lights on in their houses.

Sirius pulled his shoulder away from Remus' grip and forced himself to walk into the house.

But this wasn't a trap.

It was a warning. And it wasn't meant for Sirius. That was clear when he held a torch up in the front hallway and saw that the portrait of the royal family was hung upside down, the faces of the king and queen slashed through, and James, a child in the portrait, had a slash across his neck.

Remus took a sharp intake of breath when he saw it and cleared his throat. "Take that down." He said. "James doesn't need to see that."

But that was hardly the worst of it.

oOo

They took Hogsmeade without a fight.

James' shoulder was on fire, but despite what Sirius or Remus or Hestia or any of them said, he wasn't going to stop digging.

The dirt was under his nails, covering his boots and trousers, his face was coated in sweat and he knew that his wound had been re-opened, but he kept digging.

The entire Great Hall had been full. Rows and rows of lifeless men and women and children.

Fifty-three in all.

And they would all get their own grave if James had to dig them himself.

He'd been putting off leaving, worrying over Lily and things he couldn't change, and these men and women had paid the price. He hadn't saved them. Some of them had been friends of his, people that he'd grown up with. Bathinda Bagshot had been a tutor of his, Charity Burbage as well. There was an entire noble family murdered, and after what Sirius had told him about what Riddle had said in the woods, he could only assume that they'd reached this fate simply because they'd been appointed noblemen by Fleamont Potter. They weren't from an old family, they hadn't come from old money, and so apparently, they didn't deserve distinction in society.

It all made James sick to his stomach.

"If your shoulder bleeds much more, you're going to pass out." Hestia sounded irate, but James acted as though he hadn't heard her. "James," She tried again.

"I'm not done yet," He snapped, throwing more dirt out of the hole.

"James the bodies are still warm," Remus commented, and James looked up. "They haven't been dead for more than a few hours. They waited until we were coming before they did this. There was nothing that you could have done. The guards were a diversion."

James couldn't accept that. "Where's Sirius?" He asked, looking back toward the house.

Remus looked down at his feet and then up at James. "He's taking a bit of time."

James let his bad arm drop to his side slowly. "I should go and talk to him."

"He doesn't know whether he should be relieved or not." Hestia sighed. "Regulus wasn't in the room, but there's no way to know if he's okay or if Riddle is just messing with him."

"I should go and talk to him." James repeated, and Hestia nodded.

"Whatever gets you to stop using your shoulder," She muttered, jumping into the hole that James had been digging and taking the shovel from him. James let her take it and then accepted Remus' outstretched arm, allowing him to help him up. He already knew that he wasn't going to be a patient injured person. At least he knew that Hestia would understand that. She'd re-opened an old wound three times in the first week or so that he'd met her.

"Where is he?"

"I think he's in the jailhouse." Remus nodded toward the stone building.

The sun was up now, not high, and James' long shadow led the way down the street. People were starting to come out of their homes, but for the most part they were keeping their distance, either afraid that Riddle was watching them still, or angry with what had happened or some other emotion that James couldn't be arsed to consider at the moment.

When he reached the steps that led up to the door, he realized that he hadn't slept in well over twenty-four hours. It was only three steps, but he had to pause for a moment because quite suddenly, the effort required to walk up them seemed monumental.

He knocked for some reason when he got to the door, and then pushed it open as Sirius was turning his head to see who it was.

"How is your shoulder?" He asked, looking back at the cells that he was standing in front of.

"It's been better." James walked over and stood next to him. "Were you looking for something in here?"

Sirius sighed. "I was hoping there would be some sign of him having been here." He admitted. "He could have killed him immediately and then dumped his body somewhere. If that's the case then I'll never get to see him again."

James nodded, knowing that as awful as it would have been to find Regulus in the manor, it would have given Sirius a definite answer, which might have been easier to deal with then not knowing one way or the other.

"And even if he is alive, they can't be treating him well. Why would they keep him alive other than to make an example out of him?" He didn't seem to be filtering himself like he normally did. He was just thinking aloud and James leaned against the wall and just listened. "And this is my fault- and before you interrupt, I'm the one who took him out of our home and put him in danger of being attacked by Riddle and his men in the first place. He was safe with our parents."

"He might have been safe from Riddle, but he wasn't safe. Not with everything your family and the people they associated with got up to." James countered. "You took him away from all of that and he turned into a great man. Someone who was willing to die standing up for what's right. No matter what happens you should be-"

"I  _am_ proud of him." Sirius interrupted forcefully. "I am  _so fucking_ proud of him, but I never told him that." He clenched his hands into fists and stared resolutely ahead. "I just argued with him about stupid shit that I should have let go of years ago. I pretended that I didn't understand why he missed our parents because it's easier to pretend that I don't miss them. I kept pushing him away and keeping him at arm's length when I'm the one who took him away from our family. I know that it was the right thing to do, but I could have done it better."

James had recently become quite accustomed to regretting the way he'd once treated his family and so he knew that countering anything that Sirius had just said wasn't going to make him feel any better. "I know what that feels like." He said quietly and looked over at Sirius. "But we're going to get him back, Sirius. You're going to get the chance to do things differently."

"You don't know that." Sirius scoffed.

"I think he would have said something to quite a few people if he'd killed Regulus. He'd want to make an example of him, show people what happens when they disobey him, or work against him. We'd know."

"He's going to take him back to the capital then." Sirius sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. "Do what we thought he was going to do here, and call for a large, public execution."

"He seems like he's trying to scare people into submission, especially after this horrific display." He looked back in the direction of the manor and the graves that were being dug."

Sirius nodded. "I should go and help."

"We both should."

"I get that you hate doing nothing, but you're going to mess up your shoulder permanently if you don't let it heal properly."

James tried to move his arm so that he could prove he was fine but ended up flinching. Sirius laughed at him, the sound harsh in the quiet of the jailhouse, but it was a welcomed sound.

"Let it heal. Otherwise you're going to have to explain to your wife why you refused to listen to the one healer that we brought with us and you know she's going to give you hell for it."

"Hestia doesn't listen to Molly when she's the one that's injured."

"Yes, and she had to put up with Gwen nagging her."

James pressed his lips together. "Fine, I'll go and ice my shoulder."

"Good," Sirius grinned at him and the clapping him on the back, gently as not to jostle his shoulder. "I'm glad you're alright, mate."

James smiled at him. "I'm glad that you're alright too."

oOo

_Lily,_

_It's been more than three weeks since I've last seen you, since I've last held you or the children and I didn't know that it was possible to miss something quite this much. That something being our family, which I know you assumed as much, but I wanted to write it down explicitly as well. Sirius is already mocking me for writing what he's deemed 'love letters' but I can't be bothered just now. I'll break up my nonsensical pinning with actual information, I promise._

_I wish every night that you were here beside me. Every morning as well. And all the moments in between._

_We didn't find Regulus when we made it to Hogsmeade, and Sirius can't decide if that's a good thing or not. Of course it would be nice if we'd been able to get him back already, but that didn't seem to be an option. Riddle knew that we would be coming to get him and had made plans to move out when we got close. There wasn't much of a fight, but I did take a nasty cut to the shoulder. Don't fret though, Remus and Hestia and Sirius are all making sure that I'm taking proper care of it and letting it heal. It's been rough being sidelined, but I know that you understand that. I do hope you're feeling much better now and I wish I could be there with you so that I can be assuaged that you really are alright._

_There's no delicate way to write this next part, and I debated for a long time whether or not I should omit it, but you'll hear of it one way or another, and I've promised not to keep things from you for the sake of sparing you. He killed a great number of people before we got here. Fifty-three of them. They were lined up in the Great Hall of the royal manor._

_There doesn't seem to be any rhythm or reason for who they were. The jailhouse was emptied, a few noble families were among the dead, and the rest must have dissented Riddle's ideals._

_We've been traveling for the last week. After we got everything cleaned up in Hogsmeade, we knew that we couldn't stay. Most of the people who lived there were too afraid to come out and talk to us or take a stand against Riddle, and while part of me is just as frustrated as Sirius as this, the other part of me understands that they just watched a great number of their friends and family die at his hands. They need time to grieve before they can fight back._

_Last night I had a dream that we were all back in the castle, and Grace was a couple years older and she looked even more like you than she already does. She and Harry were laughing at some story that you were telling them about talking sunflowers._

_We've past through many small towns on our way to the capital, and we've gained a good number of people on our march. It's slowed us down some, but it's hard to think of that as a bad thing when we're collecting more people who wish to see Riddle defeated. There are quite a number of odd and fascinating men and women that I can't wait for you to meet._

_We won't reach the capital for a couple more weeks at least, perhaps longer if we continue growing the size of our party, and I don't think that they'll be much going on between now and then. We have scouts riding ahead and they haven't seen Riddle in over a week, so he must be determined to get back to the city. I don't know what he's got planned once he's there, but I'm hoping that he's planning to use Regulus as some sort of deterrent or warning to keep people in line. Not only does that guarantee that he won't kill him between now and reaching the city, but if that's his plan, any execution that he does will have to be public and we have a greater chance of rescuing him._

_I suppose I'll end the letter with another admission of how much I miss you. Sometimes, and I know that it sounds ridiculous and nothing more than wishful thinking, I feel the air shift around me. My heart feels steadier, I feel warmer and safe and calm; I feel like I'm standing next to you. When it happens, it makes everything feel just that much more bearable._ _For just a few moments, I don't have to miss you so much._

_With much love for you, our son, and our daughter,_

_James_

oOo

Lily clutched the letter in her hand and held it over her chest. She hated the fact that there were tears threatening to fall down her cheeks, and she could tell that the conversation that Marlene, Mary and Emmeline were having was for her sake, so she could pretend that her friends were distracted and not watching her posture carefully.

It'd been a month since they'd left, a month of clingy desperately to any thread of hope that she had. A month of not having any clue of what was going on. And then, out of the blue, Mary walked in with this letter and Lily very nearly snatched it out of her friend's hands.

She cleared her throat and turned to face her friends. "They haven't found Regulus yet." She said, not sure which news she should start with, but that seemed as good as any place to start.

They had already been waiting for her to say something, but they'd fallen immediately silent when she'd cleared her throat. "Oh?" Emmeline was the first to find her voice. "And do they have any idea where he is?"

Lily narrowed her eyes slightly. "Well they think he's with Riddle."

"Of course." Emmeline shook her head. "I meant do they have plans to get him back?"

Lily looked down at the letter. "I didn't get any specifics. It would not be wise to send specifics in a letter that could be intercepted," She had to remind herself of that as well, because she would really have liked specifics. "But James says that he's hoping for a big, public show from Riddle so that they have a better chance of getting him back. He probably shouldn't have written that either…" She narrowed her brow again, wondering what she should keep out of her return letter.

Her bags were currently all packed up by the door. She didn't have that much more than she came with, only a few more dresses and more than two changes of clothing for Harry and Grace, two bags in total.

"The rider is waiting downstairs if you want to write something back to him." Mary said, looking back toward the fire. Mary's bag was packed as well, though Emmeline had offered to go with Lily and the children first.

"Yes, I suppose I should." She bit her lip and looked around.

This was the only letter that she was going to get to write to him. He might write her another five or six before she was able to see him again and she wouldn't get to read them either.

She walked over to the desk that she'd had no reason to use until now and sat down. She uncorked a bottle of ink and picked up a quill. She hadn't a clue what to say because whatever it was, it was going to be lie. She didn't want to lie to James, especially not about herself and their children.  _Especially_ not about their children.

But she didn't really have another choice, did she? She either told him the truth and put herself and her children in danger, or she lied to him and kept them slightly safer. Because there was always the chance that the letter could end up in the wrong hands, there was always the chance that James wouldn't see the letter at all and she didn't want sensitive information getting to someone who would use it to hurt her or her children.

She cleared her throat and sat up straighter. She had to lie. But she'd get to explain it all to him one day, and he would understand. He would have done the same thing if their roles were reversed.

She knew all that to be true, but it did nothing to make her feel better about it.

oOo

_Dearest James,_

_I must confess that your admissions of love and fondness, or nonsensical pinning as you put it, were my favorite parts of your letter and I wouldn't mind getting love letters from you, nor would I mind if Sirius teased you for sending them._

_We all miss you as well, though you should know that you were not alone in that from the start. Harry talks about you constantly. He's also grown about two inches since you left, you'll remember that we marked the door with his height on the opposite door frame that your parents used to mark yours. So, when I say two inches, I mean it. He's not noticed it of course, but I have. I had to get him new trousers, so his ankles would be covered._

_I find something in him every day that reminds me of you._

_And Grace can almost sit up on her own now, though I'm still overly cautious and like to have a few pillows around her just in case. She wobbles so much still, though Emmeline has told me that she'd be fine. And she's always making the oddest sounds! She started blowing with her lips pressed together and delighted herself so much that Harry has taken to making the noise at her now as well, and they just sit there going back and forth laughing. You've heard her laugh, it's wonderful to have them both laughing._

_Carrie has had her baby as well! It was only a few days after you all headed out. It's a little boy named Harrold, after her father. Grace of course, said that she's going to call him Harry so that she and her cousin can match our children._

_I don't have nearly as much news as you do, love. Things have been quiet. People still come in every couple of days, but it's been so cold lately that even the travelers have slowed down. Though I think it's helped that you've ran Riddle's men out of much of the surrounding area. Moody took the new soldiers east a couple of days ago and took the neighboring town. People are mainly coming here if they need any kind of medical attention, so that's kept us awfully busy._

_It's good to keep busy though. It keeps me from worrying too much about you. Though I still worry of course. And I don't find it at all ridiculous that you said you could feel me with you. It's not wishful thinking and I don't care how far apart we are, I'm always with you. I pray for your safe return every night. I also talk to you quite a bit. Emmeline told me a story about a candle and the wind and now some part of me thinks that if I stand by the window while I go on about what ever happened that day, you'll somehow know that I'm thinking about you. Your admission only adds substance to what I already believe._

_I love you, James. And I'm counting down the days until we'll be together again, as a family, as partners, as husband and wife. I have every faith that you will succeed in stopping Riddle and that we'll be home and safe again before the snow melts. Soon all of this will be nothing more than a memory._

_Love,_

_Lily_

_oOo_

James had read the letter three times already and he'd only just received it not fifteen minutes ago. It both soothed and agitated his need to see her. It made him miss her all the more, but he wouldn't trade it for anything. It was another couple of weeks since she would have gotten his letter and he wondered what else would change for her and the kids before she got the chance to write another one. Grace would be half a year old by then, and that's only if it only took two weeks for the rider to get back to Lily. With every day though, they were getting further and further apart.

He couldn't believe that he'd been away from his family for almost two months. He wondered briefly if things would be easier if he and Lily hadn't gotten so close over the last five months. If they had still been strangers when he'd left the Hollows.

But he didn't want that, not even a little bit. He wouldn't have something worth fighting for, not really. He had a family now, he knew that she was waiting for him and so he knew that he was going to get back to her.

He folded the letter and tucked it into his pocket. He wasn't going to let it go too far. He needed to carry it with him.

oOo

The cottage was small, and she could see the sea out of the small window in the kitchen.

Harry was in a terrible mood, and he had been since they'd left Godric's Hollows. He missed Ron and Ginny and Fred and George and Molly and he'd rattle off everyone else as well. Lily missed them too. She missed all of them. She'd gotten used to being around a large number of people all the time and she hated not seeing a few of them in particular.

But they didn't really have much of a choice.

"I don't want to eat dinner." Harry muttered, crossing his arms over his chest as he sat at the dinner table. Mary was putting soup into a bowl that was on the table in front of him and Lily was worried that he was going to knock it off the table and make a mess. If he did that she'd have to reprimand him and she didn't know if she had it in her to do that tonight.

"You don't have to eat," Mary shrugged. "But in case you change your mind, I'll put some in your bowl."

"I'm not going to eat it." He almost shouted, looking over at Lily. She look at Grace, who was looking at her brother with wide eyes. She knew that he was trying to get her attention, trying to show her just how displeased he was with the situation that they'd found themselves in. She couldn't blame him of course, it wasn't ideal and a three year old could only put up with so much.

She felt bad for taking him away from his friends, but she'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Riddle's men had come again.

It would have been around the same time that James was in Hogsmeade. They had come in the middle of the night and set fire to the house, or they tried to. It was made rather difficult by the fact that it was snowing rather heavily at the time and they hadn't managed to get into the house. But they managed to set some surrounding barns on fire, and one of the shops in town. But their target was her and her children, that was made perfectly clear.

But then they'd broken the windows, and Lily didn't know what would have happened if Moody hadn't gotten there fast enough. She'd barricaded both of the doors, locked herself in the children's room. They were both still sleeping, though she'd woken them when she accidentally screamed when she heard the first doors being broken down. And she recognized the look on his face from months earlier, when the last place that they had thought they'd been safe had been broken into.

Lily shook her head and tried to ground herself in her current situation. She was here, at this cottage. James was off who knows where with no idea of what had happened to her, or where she was. He would write to her again at some point and he would be waiting for her to write back, but she wouldn't because his letter would never reach her. No one knew where they were except for Moody, and he wasn't going to risk her location to deliver a letter.

It was just her and Mary and the kids.

She sighed and sat down at the table. She remembered the stories that she'd spun back at the camp to get Harry to eat, she remembered the look on James' face when she'd steal glances at him while telling the stories. "Harry, you have to eat your dinner. Didn't Mary tell you about the…" She hesitated for a moment, but tried to act as though she'd meant to by leaning in closer and lowering her voice. "Wrackspurts." The first made up word she could think of.

"What?" Harry asked, trying to sound uninterested, but he was three and couldn't quite pull that off yet.

"Wrackspurts. Mary," She looked at Mary. "You didn't tell him?"

Mary sighed, but played along. "I didn't see any point in telling him."

"Wrackspurts are tiny, invisible creatures that fly around your ears and mess with your thoughts when you don't eat your supper. They only live near the sea."

Harry narrowed his brow and sat up straighter. "Mess with your thoughts?"

"Oh yes," Lily nodded. "They make you rather grumpy."

Harry stopped frowning and picked up his spoon. "And all I have to do is eat supper to get them to leave me alone? Because I'm feeling awfully grumpy lately."

"I know you have been," Lily gave him a small grin. "And yes, all you have to do is eat your supper. And think about happy things." She added.

"I can't think of any happy things out here though." He sighed, leaning against his hand. "I want to go back to the other place."

"It wasn't safe for us there, Harry."

"I know." He sighed, looking down at his hands; but he did take a bite of his soup.

"You have to think about how happy you'll be to see dad again. And how funny it is when Grace spits her tongue out," He chuckled at that and Lily's smile grew.

"I like it when she yells really loud and laughs at me."

"I like that too," Lily reached over and ruffled his hair. "I love you, Harry. I'm sorry that we can't be with your friends right now."

He slumped in his chair again and nodded. "I love you too."

He finished his supper, and Lily took that as a small victory. Small victories were all she was going to get out here.


	16. The Lion King Comes Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: First of all, I just want to thank everyone who let me take a much needed week off. I know that I only have two chapters left, and some of you might think that it would have been easier to just finish up and then take a break, but I was on vacation in Missouri of all places, and I just wanted to have some time off I guess. And THEN I was planning on posting this chapter on Wednesday but was floored by a migraine AND the flu. It was a special two for one deal I guess. Lucky me. I haven't written anything all week and it feels really weird and I'll have to remedy that today.
> 
> This chapter is super long and full of stuff, as it has to be. I hope you like it friends
> 
> As always, reviews are amazing and wonderful and I love each and everyone of you who has been with me since the beginning of this tale and who has taken the time to review every single chapter. You're wonderful and deserve stars and ice cream bars xxx

_"I was delighted to see you again, and forgot for the moment that all happiness is fleeting."_

_― Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo_

As it was currently the dead of winter, that meant that it was bitterly cold at absolutely every bloody moment of the day. Nights were, unbearably worse.

When James was huddled around the fire, the warmth only made it through the surface of the ice that seemed to have seeped into his skin. James was far more worried about people getting frostbitten at the moment, then he was about an attack from Riddle's army. And it had been that way for the last few days now.

They would reach the city soon, but it would all be for nothing if they were too cold to fight anyone, or unable to use their fingers to hold a sword.

Dumbledore suggesting making multiple fires surrounding their camp tonight, and while Sirius was of the opinion that it wouldn't help at all, and that they'd only have to find more firewood, James was inclined to try it. For two reason. One, regular fires weren't doing much for them, and two, Sirius had taken to disagreeing with everything that Dumbledore said lately.

He wasn't the only one on edge. There were a lot of new people, and everyone was having a hard time trusting one another. After what happened both in Godric's Hollow and in Hogsmeade, James figured that the lack of trust was something he was going to have to contend with for a long time after he managed to get his throne back. He was going to be looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life. After letting something like this happen once, he knew for damn sure that he wasn't going to let it happen again.

They ended up with a wall of six bonfires upwind of the camp, and James didn't notice much difference, but then again, he did think that he could feel all of his toes again- they hurt, but he could feel them.

His shoulder was a mess as well. Hestia was doing what she could, and he iced it whenever they stopped for the night, but he was starting to think that it was going to be an injury that never fully left. Hestia had hope that Molly could fix it once they got him back to her, but James knew that that was still a long way off. He was just grateful that they'd managed to ward off infection.

Remus was sitting beside him on the end of one of the wagons, his armor off, which didn't happen often. He was staring off into the fire and James realized that he hadn't talked much with his friend since they'd left the Hollows.

"You alright, Remus?" He asked, narrowing his brow slightly.

Remus looked slightly startled and looked at James with wide eyes. "I'm alright." He nodded.

"You don't' look alright. Is it your feet? You can sit closer to the fire if you want."

"No, my feet are alright." He shook his head and looked back into the fire. His face glowed slightly orange and he looked far older than James knew him to be. "We're getting closer." He said quietly, and James nodded.

"We are. I don't know what's going to happened when we get there, but things are going to start changing." He looked behind him for a moment and then toward the fire.

"She can't write back that fast you know," Remus said with a small smile. "It takes time for the letters to travel."

"I know." James said, not even pretending that he hadn't been looking for the messenger. "I've never been this far away from them before."

"I know you haven't." Remus replied kindly. "And I know that it's been hard on you, but Moody is with them. He's going to keep them safe."

"That's why I was glad to have him volunteer to stay behind." James nodded. "And Molly is there too. Arthur. Alice's family. Monty Bones. I keep reminding myself of all the people we left behind that are going to be protecting them, but what if something happens and I'm not there to protect them? It's my job to protect them, Remus."

Remus was quiet for a moment and he looked back toward the fire. "You're right. It is your job. But you're the king and you have many jobs. You and Lily chose to prioritize the safety and longevity of your kingdom. You're fighting for your throne back, for your people. You couldn't have done both, and she wouldn't have let you pick her over everyone else."

James sighed and ran a hand through his hair, purposefully using his left arm to stretch the sore muscles. "I keep reminding myself of that too." He muttered. "I've felt like this my whole life to some degree though. Stuck by my title, like my life isn't really mine."

"I understand that." Remus said, and James knew that he had to want to tell James to shut up. James was complaining about a life that came with complete and utter luxury, and he had heard where Remus had come from. He remembered the story he'd shared with Lily after she went into labor. He'd given himself to the army so that his mother wouldn't be beaten for not being able to pay her taxes. Riddle had stuck his hand in the kingdom long before the crown knew about it.

"I'm sorry," James shook his head. "It's my job but also a privilege, and I shouldn't complain."

"I'd like to think of us as friends, James." Remus looked over and the sincerity shown through his eyes. "You can complain to me about finding it unfair that you've been separated from your family. That you've been forced to do things that you're not comfortable with due to the life you were born into."

James smiled at him and nodded. "Thanks. I missed Grace's first Christmas. And the first Christmas that Harry will remember. And I'm afraid that I'm going to miss a lot more of Grace's firsts."

Remus nodded. "You probably will. But Lily will tell you about them, and Harry will as well." He grinned and so did James.

"I love how much he loves her." He reached his hand into his pocket and pulled out the letter he'd gotten from Lily a while back. The paper was worn, and he didn't read it so much as just look it over or run his thumb over the back. He had the words memorized, but he liked to feel it, remind himself that she was waiting for him. "I always wanted a brother or sister when I was growing up."

"You've changed a lot over these last few months," Remus said, and James nodded.

"I can see it too."

"I knew both of you before you knew each other," He said, sounding as though he was unsure if he was crossing a line or not. He glanced over at James and then looked back at the fire.

"That's right," James smiled. "She told me that she used to talk to you sometimes."

Remus nodded. "I didn't understand why you didn't seem to like one another."

James deflated a bit. "That's my fault."

"It's the fault of your circumstances. I can see that now." How simply he said it made James smile. It was nice to have someone not lay the blame on him, to honestly find the fault to be somewhere else, even when James knew that it was his fault.

"You two should get some sleep." They looked over to see Sirius walking toward them.

"We will," James said, trying to keep his tone light. The closer they got to the city, the more agitated Sirius got. James was worried about Regulus too, but he wasn't his brother and he didn't feel the same kind of responsibility toward him as Sirius did. "We've got to thaw out first." Sirius nodded and hopped up on the other side of Remus, leaning back so his hands were palm down on the cart.

"It's too fucking cold." He muttered, sticking his feet out toward the fire. "You think we'll get there tomorrow?"

"Probably not. Dumbledore said that it looks like it'll snow again tomorrow."

"The next day?" Through clenched teeth this time.

"I hope so." James said, glad that he couldn't see the look on Sirius' face just then.

"Any word from Lily?"

"He just sent his letter a couple of weeks ago." Remus answered for him.

"She could have sent one before him." He shrugged. "But no news is good news, I suppose." James had to agree with him there. If she had sent a letter before he'd replied to her last one, he would have worried that something terrible happened to her or the kids.

"No news is good news." James agreed aloud, though he still would have loved news.

oOo

Lily stepped over Grace, who was busy scooting along the floor and trying to crawl, so she could get the window that that had just flown open and smacked against the side of the house. Lily had thought for sure that the glass was going to shatter if it happened again, but luckily that didn't happen.

She leaned out of the window and pulled the window back toward the house. "We're going to have to do something about this," She called over her shoulder. Mary was sitting near the hearth with Harry, reading him one of the books that they'd thought to bring from the manor in Godric's Hollows.

She looked up and nodded. "I know. It scares you every time it does that."

Lily put a hand on her hip. "It doesn't only scare me." She said, though both of her children were completely at ease despite the sound. It wasn't her fault that the sound of the window hitting the house sounded very similar to the sound of Riddle's men trying to break down the door so that they could get to her and Harry.

She was still trying to work through what had happened at the hospital, she was trying to gain back her trust that she'd once had in her people, and then this happened. And even though it was very similar to the night that Riddle had taken the castle, it was different because she knew exactly what the men wanted to do this time.

There was a very important distinction between assuming that men were breaking into your home to kill you and take your crown and  _knowing_  that men were breaking into your home to kill you and your children because they didn't believe that you were ever worthy of the crown.

There was a way out for one of those problems, but for the other, the only thing she could do to appease Riddle's men was to die.

And that wasn't an option, clearly.

She sighed and sat down in one of the thick wooden chairs that sat around the small table. It was round, and just barely big enough for four people, which was fine since there were only three of them that were able to sit at the table unassisted, and Grace just sat on Lily or Mary's laps.

Mary had gone back to reading the story to Harry and Grace was working on turning herself around, so she could scoot over to Lily. Her large hazel eyes were so concentrated as she slowly turned herself about. Lily remembered how frustrated Harry used to get when he was learning to move around, and he wouldn't calm down until someone came over to help him. But Grace didn't fuss, she just moved slowly and kept trying until she got it.

Lily tried to think of that as some kind of advice for how she should handle her current predicament. If she kept her head down, kept working at the task at hand, soon everything would be fine. Though she felt like throwing her hands up and having someone come along to help her out of this problem.

But this was her life right now. She had to stay hidden for the sake of her children, and for her country. She had to keep herself and her children safe and she had to stop feeling guilty about that. It was what she was currently meant to be doing. She was being helpful. She was.

She just had to remember that.

It was a few hours later before the children were put to sleep and Mary and Lily were seated in front of the hearth alone. Mary had her hands busy as she knitted a new blanket for Grace and Lily was watching her, trying to learn how to do it by observing. Mary lacked the patients to actually sit down and teach her properly.

"I wonder what's going on back in the village." Mary hummed and looked over at Lily for a moment. "You think Moody has tripled the size of his army yet?" She grinned, and Lily gave her a small smile in return.

"I'm sure he's whipped them into shape too. He'll be sending them off in all directions."

"It's really a wonder he wasn't already a general."

"I think he used to be," Lily shrugged. "That's why he's missing and eye and a leg. Clearly he takes it all very seriously." She chuckled, watching carefully as Mary looped the yarn around her needle and then pulled it through another loop. It seemed simple enough, perhaps she should give it a try.

"I suppose he had to lose them somehow. I just figured it was… what is Harry always going on about? Dragons? I'd believe that Moody fought a dragon."

Lily chuckled and nodded. "I'd believe it too." She looked down at her hands for a moment. "I wonder what Molly is up to."

"Oh she's busy, I promise you that. I suppose she got her boys to help her out now that it's too cold for them to want to run around outside."

"She's got such nice boys." Lily grinned again.

"And Ginny is a hoot." Mary laughed. She got quiet for a moment and looked back at her project. "I wonder what Reginald is up to."

Lily raised her brows, surprised to hear Mary mention the man that she'd never spoken of before. "Reginald? He was in the jailhouse with Amos, right?"

Mary nodded. "I helped him in the hospital. I didn't know that knights could be… well more like Remus and less like Amos." She was trying not to smile, and it made Lily sit up a bit straighter.

"Why didn't you tell me that you liked this boy?"

Mary stuck her with a look. "Because it seems rather silly, doesn't it?"

"I don't think so." Lily shook her head. "Did anything happen between you two?"

"What do you mean did anything happen?" Mary laughed, "I was working almost nonstop for the entire time that we were in The Hollows. Of course nothing happened."

"Well something happened if you're taking the time to check in on him- or asking about him." She corrected herself before Mary could.

"I regret bringing it up." Mary said, though she had a small smile on her face that let Lily know that she didn't mean it.

"I'm sure that you'll see him again." Lily said with her head tilted to the side. "You know, if you want to."

Mary rolled her eyes.

"Can I try that?" Lily nodded at the blanket Mary was working on and the other girl shrugged.

"If you mess it up I can just pull out the stitches."

And life, as strange and slow as it was, went on.

oOo

James could feel a shift in the air as they neared the city, the place where he'd grown up. The country was his land, but this city was his home and the terrible, gut wrenching anger that his fellow countrymen had been feeling when they'd marched through their home towns was what he was feeling when he saw the tips of the castle peer up over the trees.

Riddle had taken his home. He was currently in his castle, sitting in his throne, eating food that had been meant for him and his family. It made James forget completely about his aching shoulder and his frozen feet.

"Alright," He called out. "We'll set up here for the night. Everyone thaw out, we'll be busy tomorrow." He didn't know what plan they were going to go with yet, but he knew that they would be doing something that would include the full use of everyone's hands and feet.

Sirius found James almost immediately after he made the announcement, other men calling his words down the line. There wasn't a single fire lite before he was standing in front of James with his arms crossed over his chest.

"We made it all the way here and we're just going to sleep for the night?" He asked, his tone predictably sharp.

James sighed and looked around. "They need to rest, and warm up." He said. "Hestia-"

"I know what Hestia said about frostbite. They're cold. But who knows what's being done to my brother right now. We need to go and get him."

"We need to go and see what we're up against." James countered. "Grab Remus. I'm going to find Frank, Reginald and Amos." This was a job for his knights. He appreciated all the hard work that his soldiers had put in, but they weren't nearly as trained as the men who had spent the last few years of their lives honing their skills. They also weren't as familiar with the layout of the city.

"Go and get- What are we doing?"

"I just told you that we're going to scout the place out. I'd appreciate it if you stopped acting as though I'm not trying to get your brother out of Riddle's grasp and just do what I asked you to. I need you to go and find Remus."

"Alright, alright," He took off faster that James had expected him too. James took a brief moment for himself to rub his hand over his shoulder and look around for the damned messenger again. He still hadn't gotten word from Lily. It'd been too long since he'd sent his last letter. He should have her reply by now, and the fact that he didn't had him nervous.

But he couldn't think about that right now, he could think about it when this was over. They were so close to the end now, James could taste it. And as soon as Riddle was dead, and his men were chased from the city, James could get on a horse and ride back out to the Hollows to find out what had kept Lily from writing. Or more likely, he would find out that the messenger had been lost or delayed due to the terrible weather that they'd been having, and that Lily and the kids were perfectly fine and had never been anything less than since he'd left.

He shook his head and started reciting all the people who had stayed behind to protect his family. And he knew that Moody wasn't the trusting type either, so he wouldn't let Lily or the kids around any strangers, not after what happened in the hospital.

He walked up to one of the fires that was being built and saw that Reginald and Amos were both there. He nodded at them to get them to follow him quietly and then kept on down the road until he spotted Frank. Frank was with Hestia and as much as James trusted Hestia, tonight, he needed her to be the healer more than he needed her help scouting the city.

"No one is losing their feet, right?" James asked, addressing her first.

"Not if I can help it." She replied stubbornly. "Though Gideon has a few toes on his left foot that don't look too good. I've got to go and make sure that he actually puts it in front of the fire for the next little while, or he might lose them."

"Don't know what we would do without you, Hestia." He said honestly.

"How's your shoulder?" She said in response, not needing his praise- or not wanting him to think that she needed his praise more likely.

"It's aching pretty badly in this cold." He admitted. "But it's fine."

She slouched her shoulders and let out a huff, a small cloud formed around her mouth. "I wish I knew how to make some of the teas that Marlene makes. That would help you some."

"Go and help Gid before you have to cut off his toes. Don't worry about me." He waved her off and she went. He was glad that he didn't' actually have to dismiss her or she would have put up a fight.

"What is it, your highness?" Reginald asked as he and Amos walked up and joined James at the fire. Frank looked between the three of them.

"Am I supposed to be here, sir?"

"Yes, we're waiting for Sirius and Remus." He said, looking up the path again as Sirius and Remus came into view. When they were around the fire, they talked in low voices until they came up with a plan. It wasn't anything complex, they were just going to get into the city using the tunnels that Remus and James had used to get out the night of the attack. Then they would look around, see how many men Riddle had, who was being held where, see if they could get eyes on Regulus.

And on top of it all, they were going to slip out of the camp quietly as not to attract too much attention to themselves. James didn't want to say no to any volunteers that would want to come, but he knew that their best chance at remaining undetected would be to keep their party size small. He did inform Dumbledore of their plan in case anything went haywire.

Finding the entrance to the secret passage was a bit difficult in the dark, especially because James had never used this tunnel from this side of the wall. Nor had he used it at all during the winter and it made everything look different.

But they managed, and soon James was holding a torch with his right arm, leading them down a tunnel that he knew to run directly under the city toward the castle. The floor was almost solid ice, water having seeped down during the heavy rains and then it never fully dried out before the frost came and it was impossible to do anything but walk slowly while sliding your feet and holding onto the wall. Frank fell first, and then Remus fell into Sirius. Amos fell a couple of times as well. James and Reginald were the only two able to keep their footing, but even still, it was tedious.

"Alright. Here," James stopped and held the torch up so that a ladder appeared against the wall. He was glad that he'd been right about where it was, because it had been a long time since he'd explored the tunnels beneath the city. "This will lead to the back of a sweets shop in the middle of town." He nodded for Amos and Reginald to go up the ladder. "Remember to keep a low profile. If anyone recognizes you, get out as quietly as you can. We're here to see what's happening, not to sound the alarms."

They both nodded and then started up the ladder. The rest of them started back down the tunnels, getting further into the city. James felt as though he was holding his breath, waiting for some sound that would tell him that Amos and Reginald had been caught, but nothing came. It was quiet except for the scraping of their shoes on the ice.

Frank and Remus went up the next ladder that would lead them into the back of an old tavern. James said that Frank should talk to the bartender because there was a smaller chance that he would recognize him. Frank agreed, and Remus promised to stay out of sight.

And then it was just Sirius and James.

"Where are we going?" Sirius asked, one hand placed against the wall to keep himself steady.

"The courtyard." James couldn't keep the tension out of his voice and turned to face Sirius. "You have to promise me that no matter what we see, you have to keep your wits about you. If you do something stupid-"

"I know, I know." Sirius interrupted, looking down at the ground. "I'm not going to put anyone else in danger."

"If we're going to get Regulus back, we're going to have to play it smart."

"He needs to get away from these people, James." Sirius looked up and James nodded.

"We're going to get him tomorrow come hell or high water, but we need to know what we're fighting, where he is, who's watching him." He turned back around, satisfied that Sirius understood the risks involved in this mission. His brother's life wasn't the only one at stake.

The continued down the tunnel for some time, as the courtyard was directly beside the castle and therefore the furthest away from the woods where their army was hopefully getting some rest. But soon a third ladder came into view and James had to steel himself before he started the climb, leaving the torch hanging on the wall and carefully using his left arm to balance himself and his right to pull himself up.

The passageway opened up just behind a large stone pillar that looked identical to the other stone pillars that surrounded the courtyard. But this one had a door hidden in the stone, a small door made of stone and James had to duck down to fit through it. When Sirius and James were both standing, James moved to close the door, knowing that after years and years of playing in the tunnels, he would be able to get them back to the door without leaving anything around it for someone else to happen upon.

"Pull up your hood." Sirius said.

"Yes, but we can't look like we're hiding. I think it's safe to assume that I don't currently look like the king." James pulled his hood up so that it covered the top of his head, as one would normally do when it was this cold, but did nothing else. It was a fine line to walk, between trying too hard to hide, and not trying hard enough. But James was dirty, he had a beard that hadn't been trimmed since he left the Hollows, and his hair was overgrown as well. He looked nothing like he had when he'd spoken to anyone living in the capital. He was sure even his mother would have paused before recognizing him.

Sirius on the other hand not only looked like Regulus, but had also just had a run in with Riddle himself. He was more recognizable than James at the moment. He pulled his hood up and then wrapped a scarf around his neck and lower face. The affect was rather intimidating and that wasn't what they were going for, but Sirius generally looked rather fearsome, so there wasn't much that could be done about it. James told him to slouch a bit, and then they set off.

They didn't stray far from the tunnels, and they stuck to the edge of the courtyard, but even still, it was hard not to notice the small figure that was being held in the stocks.

James' arm immediately went to Sirius's arm, to comfort or hold back he wasn't sure yet. Sirius let out a breath that seemed to emanate all the ways from his toes and then covered his mouth with a hand. "He's alive." He said quietly, and James realized that Sirius hadn't wanted to let himself believe Regulus was alive in case he had been killed in the woods and left for dead weeks ago.

"He's alive." James repeated and clapped Sirius on the back a few times. Then he started looking around to see who was guarding him, because he didn't see all that many people around. There was a couple of guards stationed around the stocks, but no more than James would have had guarding a thief who was to spend the night there. He wasn't being treated any different than any other prisoner and that was strange.

He looked up at the walls around the castle and saw many more guards up there, and even though it would make things difficult, it made James breath a bit easier because it didn't feel like a trap anymore. It just felt as though Riddle didn't want anyone in the city to know that Regulus was anything special before he let them know who he was. That would be why they didn't hear anything about him.

There were footsteps moving quickly behind them and James almost drew his sword, but forced himself to turn around and look first. It was Remus and Frank and they looked out of breath. Remus had known where they were going, but they hadn't planned on meeting up.

"They're going to execute him at dawn." Remus said quietly, pushing his hair away from his face and looking quickly between Sirius and James.

"The bartender looked uncomfortable answering my questions. Didn't know why I was so interested in the prisoner since not much has been said about him." He looked over and saw Regulus and swore under his breath. Regulus might have been sleeping, though even from a distance you could see how little he'd been taken care of. His clothes were loose, his hair was ratted, he was covered in what James hoped was mud, but it was too dim to say for sure.

"Dawn?" Sirius snapped his gaze away from Regulus and clenched his hands at his sides. "That's just a couple of hours. We should just grab him now, there's not that many guards."

"Look," James said, nodding toward the walls. "They would shoot us all dead before we even got close to him. They only want it to look like they're not paying him much attention. They know who he is though and they want to catch you too." James reminded him. "You were both rounding up people in secret, stealing from Riddle and his men. He wants to make an example out of both of you."

"You're not going to sideline me." Sirius said firmly. "I'm going to help get him out of this mess. I'm the reason he's here."

"I'm not going to have you stay behind, but you need to listen to me. If we're all going to make it out of this alive, then we're going to have to trust one another. You're going to have to trust that I want to get him out of here too."

James knew that Sirius was a stronger man than he was when he took a deep breath, closed his eyes and then nodded. "Alright, then what's the plan?" James wouldn't have been able to do that. If it was Lily in the middle of the courtyard, he would have risked it all, damn the consequences.

But then he looked at Frank and Remus and thought better of it. He wouldn't forsake their lives for Lily's, not if there was another way to go about things.

He started thinking, trying to come up with a way to save Regulus before the execution. But the more he thought about it… "We're going to have to wait until dawn." He said after a moment and then continued on before Sirius could interrupt him. "If we don't wait until he's before a crowd, then it will be all too easy for Riddle to turn everyone in the city against me. Talk about how I sneaked in here in the middle of the night for just one person and left everyone else behind. I can't do that to my people, Sirius. I need them to see that I'm willing to fight for them. These people especially. When we try and take back the city, things will go over so much more easily if we have the people on our side."

Sirius pressed his lips together and then looked back at his brother. "Fine," He said after a moment. "We'll do this your way. But if something happens to him tomorrow, that's on you."

James took a deep breath and nodded. "It's  _all_  on me, mate." He sighed.

oOo

It wasn't the most original plan, but James thought that it was their best shot at this.

They had gathered a group of well over five hundred men on their walk up here, and while that still left their numbers under a thousand, and they weren't fully trained, but they could do some serious damage if they needed too. Though that wasn't the point of this mission.

They weren't here to hurt anyone that lived in the city, they weren't here to break anything down or set fires - though Sirius did want to light at least one fire he'd said multiple times, and so he'd managed to work that into the plan. They were here to get Regulus back and to remind the people that they didn't have to stand for this. If they could get the people in the city on their side… well that would add far more than a thousand people to their ranks and taking back the city wouldn't be a problem.

First, they had to give James a chance to talk to all of them though, and their best shot at that would be to have him get to the courtyard and address the people who had been told to come and witness the execution.

His heart was in his throat as he once again opened the door to the secret passageway that led under the city. He had more people with him now. Gideon, Fabian, Hestia, Benjy his knights and Sirius of course, along with a few others. James couldn't tell if they made it there faster than the night before or if his nerves just made time lurch forward when he felt as though he could use a few extra minutes to prepare himself.

But they didn't have any extra moments.

They all crouched through the small door behind the stone pillar and spread out throughout the crowd that was already forming. There hadn't been a public execution in the capital city for a very long time and James wasn't sure what these people were thinking about it. They didn't look as though they were being ushered into the area, but a good number of them looked extremely uncomfortable. They kept glancing around up at the wall that surrounded the castle. James could only guess that they were looking for Riddle.

He had to be more cautious this time, as when he got back to the camp and told others the plan, Hestia had pointed out that no one would recognize him if he pulled his hood off and started talking. Which had worked for him yesterday, but today he needed his people to know who he was.

So his hood was pulled all the way up now, covering most of his face. His hair had been cut and his beard trimmed. Hestia had scrubbed at his face as well until all the dirt was gone. His shoulder was in bandages again so that he could use it with a bit more ease, though he'd be keeping his sword in his right hand for sure, and Remus had vowed to cover his left.

Everyone seemed so excited, but James had a feeling in the pit of his stomach that something was going to go wrong. They must have overlooked something, forgot to plan for something. This was what they had been working for and it was so nerve-wracking to finally be here, in the courtyard, waiting for Riddle to come out instead of talking about what needed to be done with Lily in their hut in the woods.

He looked around him and quickly spotted the men that he'd come with, along with Hestia. They were doing their best to look nondescript while also keeping an eye on him and James would be worried about someone noticing, if so much else wasn't going on. Everyone was looking for Riddle and trying to get a look at the prisoner who was getting executed.

Someone must have gotten Regulus cleaned up a bit, James was sure that he'd done that for the same reason James had been cleaned up too. It didn't make as much of an impact if he wasn't recognizable. If no one knew that Regulus was a Black, if no one knew that he was one of the men that had been sneaking people out from under Riddle's nose, then the overall effect of killing him would be lost on the spectators.

James tried to make eye contact with him, but Regulus was looking down at his feet. James narrowed his brow and told himself again that there was nothing that they could have done for Regulus these last couple of months.

Months. Regulus had been with Riddle for months. Months of trekking through the snow under extreme cold and not being fed properly. He had to feel so alone. James clung to hope that Regulus still believed that they were coming to help. That he knew that Sirius, if no one else, wasn't going to give up on him.

He edged his way closer to the platform that they had set up in the middle of the courtyard, the rope was already swinging ominously, but it wasn't time yet. The sun was just about to peak over the tree line, and that would be the signal for the rest of his men.

James reached the edge of the platform as the guards started unlocking Regulus' shackles.

He heard Regulus snap at the guards and once again tried to will Regulus to look up, to look around and see all the familiar faces in the crowd. He couldn't imagine what Sirius was feeling just now.

"Bring him up here," James looked up to see Lucius Malfoy of all people, standing on the platform. James had already been made aware that the Malfoys were working for Riddle, but it still hurt to see the evidence of that so plainly before him. The Malfoys had been friends of the Potters for decades, and they had flipped sides. What was Riddle offering them?

"You're a bastard, Lucius." Regulus snapped, because he'd grown up with the man as well. "You and your lot are all going to pay for this."

"We'll see how much you have to say with this rope around your neck, yes?" He reached up and ran his fingers over the rope, smiling at Regulus as he did.

"I thought we were friends." Regulus muttered, a bit of the hurt coming through with all the anger.

"I'm not friends with blood traitors."

"That phrase makes absolutely no sense, you fucking git!" He shook his head and allowed the guards to lead him up the platform and then he stood up straight before the rope. He looked out over the crowd, but he still wasn't looking at anyone in particular.

James heard a quiet whistle somewhere to his right and watched as Regulus's eyes snapped towards something. His face went pale, but then his eyes started darting around the crowd and James could tell when they landed on someone that he recognized. And finally, they fell on James, who was standing nearest to him. James smiled at him and he saw the hope flicker back into his eyes.

He looked over at Lucius again and managed a smirk. "You were friends with the Potters, too. Weren't you? What does that make you? Definitely a traitor if you ask me."

Lucius sent him a glare and then stepped forward to wrap the rope around his neck. James' stomach clenched. It was hard to wait, to watch this all go so far, but he knew that it was necessary.

"Fire!" Someone shouted, and it sounded too much like Sirius's voice for James' liking, but the black smoke was billowing up behind them at the edge of the city, so when he called, everyone turned to look. Lucius raised his brow.

"How is there a fire in the middle of- those damn rats."

"I thought they were further behind us," Someone that James didn't recognize spoke up from behind Lucius.

"I thought so as well." He muttered. "Well send out the guards. He won't be happy if they interrupt us here."

"Why would they set fire to the city?" The man asked, "That doesn't make sense."

"I don't know why they do any of the things that they do, but someone better get out there and stop them before they make it inside the city." Regulus laughed at this and then pressed his lips together. "Shut your bloody trap." James could only hear this discussion because he was trying to. If he'd been just a few steps back he would only be able to make out a few words, and he could tell that Lucius was trying to keep it that way. It would be hard to sell the idea that James had forsaken these people if he was currently trying to break into the city to get rid of the tyrant standing over them.

"We'd have seen them if they were in here. All of the gates guards have been tripled since we got back."

"I don't care," Lucius was getting angry and James was relishing in it. "I don't care if we have the entire army down there right now, I want everyone else down there as well. He knows this city, and that let him get away from us the first time. We're not going to let him in again. Now move!"

That seemed to shut up anymore dissent from the man who then ordered the guards around them to move out to the castle gates. James hadn't counted on Lucius being so paranoid, but it was working well for them.

James waited until all the guards ran out of the courtyard and then stood up straighter.

"Ladies and gentlemen, before you stands a traitor to the crown! Regulus Black!" Lucius started addressing the crowd and James was itching to get up on the platform and tear that rope off Regulus's neck. "He's conspired with his brother Sirius Black to steal from our King and wreak havoc on our countryside! He's been charged with murdering five of the king's men, and will be hung until his death here in the square." Lucius turned to look at Regulus, that smug smirk back in place. "Any last words, Black?"

Regulus smiled at him just as James started toward the stairs. "Yeah I have a few things I'd like to say to you." Regulus nodded, looking as though he wasn't even aware of the rope around his neck. "But how about I just tell you to look behind you?"

"Look behind me? And what do you think I'll find?" James had made his way up the platform and was standing behind Lucius now and the crowd was murmuring to themselves.

"The King of England." Regulus nodded at James just as he reached up to lower his hood.

"The what-" He turned around and his eyes widened in horror as he realized who was standing beside him.

"Hello, Lucius. Wish I could say it's nice to see you, but under the current circumstances…" He trailed off and Lucius's hands went for his sword, James was faster though. They both paused with their swords half drawn. James then slowly pulled his out and turned away from Lucius, and with one solid 'thwack' against the beam next to Regulus, the rope fell away and Regulus was able to shed the noose.

Lucius took out his sword and pointed it at James, and before one of the men that James brought with him could make themselves known, Regulus tackled him, causing them both to fall off the platform. James opened his mouth and raised his brow, but found that he had nothing to say.

He heard a familiar bark of laughter and looked out to see Sirius looking far more relaxed than he had in months. James kept his face calm and looked across the sea of people who were all looking at him. "I haven't forgotten you." He said, trying to remember everything that he'd worked out to say earlier. "I haven't left you all to fend for yourselves-"

"Long live the king!" Someone near the back of the crowd called out, cutting James off. For a moment, James couldn't tell if he meant Riddle or himself, but then more people started joining in and the people who were nearest Regulus and Lucius started helping Lucius to his feet, only to lead him over to the stocks. Regulus stepped back and then looked around the crowd until he found who he was looking for. Sirius didn't wait for his younger brother to come any closer and all but lunged at him, pulling him into a tight hug.

It was chaotic for a few moments, people shouting their approval of James being in the city, people trying to get the shackles on Lucius's wrists and ankles and James' men trying to get in position.

"QUIET!" This voice came from up high, and when James turned toward the wall, he was expecting to see Riddle, but instead there was a man that looked familiar, but who he didn't have a name for. James was surprised how quickly the crowd fell quiet. "Do you think that he will stand for this?" The man's voice was slick and oily. "Do you think he'll allow for you to live after that disgusting display of treason-"

"I'm sorry, mate." James interrupted. "But who are you? Why are you addressing my people like that?"

The man squinted his eyes at James, as though he was suddenly aware that the true king was there as well. "I'd hoped you die on the way up here." His voice traveled well.

"I can't say I'm sorry to have disappointed you." James shot back. He turned back to his people and was looking for the anger, the hope, the determination, trying to gauge which ones he needed to play up in the crowd to get them ready to fight for what was theirs.

He heard the man start to speak from the wall again, and he rose his voice above it.

"This is your home," He said to the crowd, no longer worrying about saying the wrong thing. He was their king, this was his job and he knew that he wouldn't mess up this part. He thought about what his father would say, what Lily would say, what he would want Harry to hear him say, and then he just let the words come out. "You have every right to raise your voices and tell these people that you don't want them here." He pronounced each word slowly. "They can't sit up here and tell you how to live your lives unless you let them. If they don't have your best interests at heart, if they're doing more harm than good, then tell them to leave!"

Many people shouted back their agreement, so James raised his hand to get them to quiet so he could keep going. "I have an army of people no different than all of you. I walked from Godric's Hollow all the way up here, freeing people from Riddle's terror along the way and letting them join us in our efforts to rid our country of this evil! You can fight him too! You can take back your home and make it a better place!" More cheers from the crowd. James felt his heart start to warm. He looked back over his shoulder to see if Riddle was there yet. But he wasn't, it was just the strange dark hard man who James couldn't place.

"You know he has an army," The man said, narrowing his brow. "Many of you will die if you try and fight him. He's made that abundantly clear."

"We have an army too." James shouted back. "And I believe that it just suddenly got a whole lot bigger than yours." He grinned and then saw his men all pull their bows and arrows out from under their cloaks and start to aim them at the few men of Riddle's who were left in the square.

"Go!" James shouted at the crowd. "Tell your friends, your family, your neighbors that today is the day we take back what is ours! Today is the day that we fight for our home!"

As soon as they started moving, James made his way toward the wall. He knew how to get up there too, but he wasn't all together sure that he would need to get up on his own. "Open the gates," He called up to the men in the tower. James waited for a moment and then called out again, "You're either with me or with Riddle and you'll need to make your choice quickly."

Remus and Sirius came up to flank James, both looking around for any threats. But Lucius had just sent most of the guards down to the outskirts of the city, afraid that he would get into the city and unaware that he already had.

The gates opened, and James smiled up at the guards. "Thanks!" He called out.

Of course, there were more guards on the other side of the gate, and they were poised to attack, but by the time the gate had opened all the way, the rest of the people that James had brought with him were in line beside him and Regulus had found himself a bow and sword as well. James guessed that they had been Lucius's a moment ago.

James wasn't interested in fighting with Riddle's henchmen and worked his way through the fray quickly. He trusted his men to take care of them and then catch up with him, though he could feel Remus still beside him, taking his promise to protect his left side rather seriously.

"You won't get what you're after." The man from the wall spoke again, he was on the ground now, standing between James and the door to the Entrance Hall. "He's stronger than you know."

"He's man same as everyone. We're stronger than he knows." James shot back, "We've actually got something worth fighting for."

The man drew his sword. "You're so arrogant, Potter." James narrowed his brow.

"And who are you to address me so informally?" He asked, raising his sword.

"I'm a member of the rightful king's court." He said raising his own sword in response.

"Drawing your blade on the king is a crime punishable by death," Remus said, drawing an arrow and pointing it at the man. "His name is Severus Snape," He told James. "He used to work at an apothecary. Came up to the castle with Lily's doctor a couple of times." It was a special talent that Remus had, James thought, to be able to remember a face so well. Though it was part of what made him such an excellent knight.

"You were around Lily?" James asked, uncomfortable with the idea. What if this man had tried something before Riddle had taken over? What if he'd slipped her something that would have hurt her or Grace.

"More than you were," The other man smirked, and the tone with which he said it, the insinuations that he was trying to make- James had never wanted to run a man through more in his life.

"Drop your sword." James said firmly, his voice reminding him of the voice he'd heard his father use when addressing prisoners.

"How is Lily, by the way? I know that King Tom sent some men down to check on her and your brats after you left Godric's Hollow. Have you heard from her lately?"

The air violently left his lungs as all the fears that he'd had over her lack of a recent letter came crashing down on him at once. He should have sent another letter, demanded that someone go back and make sure that his family was safe. Had he really been riding around in the countryside without knowing that his family had been hurt or worse?

It couldn't be worse. He wouldn't be able to cope if it was worse.

Luckily Remus was able to keep his wits about him. "Did he somehow eviscerate the entire city? Because otherwise, I think we would have heard something." James could almost see sense in that. If something had happened to Lily, they would have heard. Molly or Arthur or Moody would have written him, or rode out to tell him in person even. He would know if Lily was… He couldn't even think the word.

But Severus could see the panic written plainly across his face. "You don't really care, do you? She didn't seem all that important to you back in the castle."

"You shut your-" He felt a hand on his right shoulder and turned to see Sirius.

"What is it?" He asked, looking around them. Severus was the only one around and he was vastly outnumbered.

"Just informing James that his wife might not be tucked away safely in Godric's Hollow like he thinks she is." Severus shrugged. Arrogance dripped from his voice and made the hair on the back of James' neck stand alert.

Regulus stumbled up behind James just as a horn was blown from somewhere on the wall. It seemed some of the were loyal to Riddle after all. "They didn't kill 'em." Regulus said, his voice raspy and his breathing shallow. He was in rough shape, and probably shouldn't be fighting. But the fire in his eyes suggested that if anyone were to tell him that, he'd knock them upside the head. "They meant to but I'm guessing that it was Moody who got in their way. They're safe. Riddle can't find them. They disappeared somehow. Not hurt," He bent over and rested his palms against his legs. Sirius looked him over and patted his back.

"You sure, Reg?" He asked, a flicker of worry flashing across his face.

"I'm sure." He nodded, standing upright.

"Are you though?" Severus asked, and James realized that he was stalling.

"I'm done talking with you. I'll see my wife and children before long and your time in the sun with Riddle will all be a distant memory that you think about when you're trapped in your cell in the dungeon."

"You don't want us to kill him?" Sirius asked, sounding surprised.

"Kind of want you light him on fire," James muttered. But then realized who he had just said that too and turned to Sirius quickly, "But don't." He gave him a look.

Sirius put his free hand up and then Fabian and Gideon stepped up to grab hold of Severus. Before they could get to him, he threw his sword in Hestia's direction and then started running back toward the castle. Hestia swore at him and then took off with Gideon and Fabian as they chased Severus toward the doors to the castle.

They caught him rather easily, and tied him to a post meant for horses, making sure that he wouldn't be able to escape.

When they were done, they rejoined James.

"You ready, your highness?" Hestia gave him a small grin, which James did his best to return, but now his mind was stuck on Lily and the kids.

He turned to Regulus. "You're sure that they didn't hurt them?"

Regulus nodded, "Riddle was furious that they managed to escape his men again. They went back a second time and they were just gone."

"What about the other people in town? Did they hurt them?"

"I don't think they did much damage either time. Riddle killed every single man who went on the second attack. Well, those that ended up coming back anyway." He shrugged. "You did leave Moody there, right?"

"Yes," James nodded, once again grateful that the man had volunteered himself for the job. No one else would have done it justice. "Alright," He took a deep breath and tried to center himself. He couldn't afford distractions just now. The faster he finished this, the faster he could get back to his family. "Let's find, Riddle."


	17. For the Rest of Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I can't believe we made it everyone. We got to the end of this ridiculously long ride. This stupid fic that was just supposed to be about them being in an awkward arranged marriage and running for their lives turned into something much much bigger and I want to thank everyone for the encouragement that I needed to finish this, and for all the love that I've gotten in the last few months. I'm so glad that so many of you were able to get enjoyment out of this fic, that I made you cry or laugh or shout angrily at your computer screen. This stupidly long chapter is for you and all the comments that were just you shouting at me or smashing on your keyboards. Thank you, thank you, thank you
> 
> x Felicia

_"The choices you make now, the people you surround yourself with, they all have the potential to affect your life, even who you are, forever."_  
_― Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever_

The doors were locked when they went up to open them, but that wasn't going to keep them out or even delay them, not when they had knowledge of the secret passages. James was glad that he'd chose to share that information with only a few people now, since half of the people he thought that he could trust ended up working for Riddle. It kept the location of the tunnels or even their existence a secret.

They had to loop around to get to the entrance, and a good portion of the fighting had moved much closer to the castle. James saw more of his men coming toward him and was glad for it. Riddle was going to have men on the inside as well. He needed someone to protect him and whoever he had tricked into thinking that he was going to succeed, and he had to have known that James was in the city if he didn't bother to make an appearance for Regulus' execution.

Lucius, while passionate, just didn't have the same kind of energy that Riddle did. Any threat given by Lucius was just not as impactful as a threat given by Riddle.

"Your highness!" It was Benjy. "You want us to follow you or head back to the streets?"

"You can come along," James grinned, glad to see him and then led the sizable group around to the side of the castle. The castle was built in such a way that even if your enemy was able to get past the wall, getting into the actual castle was a pain and would take time that they didn't have.

However, James was not this castles enemy, and Riddle didn't know all its secrets.

James was leading them into the sewer before Remus spoke up. "We've inspected all of this, James. There's no way to get in using the tunnels."

"There's another passage in here somewhere." James ran a hand through his hair, amazed at how quickly it came out now that his hair was so much shorter.

"Of course, there is." Remus sighed. "It was foolish to think that I knew of all of them."

"It was," James agreed, not sure if he was trying to lighten the mood by joking or if it was just his knee-jerk response. "Benjy? How was the fighting in the street going?"

"I don't know what you said to them, but people were jumping out of their homes with pans and rolling pins and whatever else they had on hand." He laughed. "One boy, couldn't have been older than twelve, he had a broom and was hiding behind a barrel, tripping Riddle's men as they went past."

James did smile at that.

They reached the place where James thought he remembered the passage to be, so he slowed down, the hoard of footsteps behind him slowed as well. It was hard to hear any specific noise with the water sloshing around and echoing off the stones.

James ran his hand over the cold, damp stones looking for the small hole that would allow him to open the hidden door. He had his dagger out and in his left hand so that he could open it as soon as he found it. He walked down the length of where he  _knew_ the hole to be and then turned around. "I need more light," He said, getting frustrated as he looked around at everyone who was waiting for him to find the passage.

"Should we make ourselves comfortable here, mate?" Sirius asked, his old smirk back in place now that he had his brother by his side. James shot him a half-hearted glare, since he was glad to see him return back to normal, and then went back to looking at the wall.

"Do you hear that?" Frank spoke up, putting a hand up to motion everyone to silence.

Reginald narrowed his brow and looked over at Amos. "I don't like the sound of that."

"What is it?" Sirius asked, looking around. "I don't hear anything."

"Listen," Frank insisted, still holding up his hand.

James paused in his search to listen for whatever it was that Frank and Reginald were hearing.

At first it was only the water splashing around, but then everyone held still as they were all straining to hear the noise. The splashing turned into a quiet wave of sorts, and with the echoes coming from all around, it was impossible to tell from which direction the sound was coming. Was it further down the tunnel? Was it behind them all? It somehow seemed as though it might be coming from above them.

James hastened his efforts to find the small notch in the wall and tried to block out the sounds of worry that arose from the men around him. They didn't know what to make of the sounds either, and the dim light of their torches and the echoing were putting them all on edge.

"What is it?" Regulus asked no one in particular.

"You think we all know the answer and are keeping it to ourselves just to spite you?" Sirius shot out, though he was glancing around nervously. It had transformed into a faint hissing now. Or maybe a whirring.

"I found it!" James said, glad that they would soon be out of this tunnel and not have to worry about the strange noise any longer.

"Oh good," Benjy said, and James felt him step up behind him, and then the water moved sharply, splashing up James' trousers as though Benjy had tripped in the water. And then his front collided with James' back and he bounced off him, into the water. James turned around to find that a large snake had wrapped itself around Benjy's neck and was weighing him down.

There was a sickening crack that propelled James into motion, pulling his knife out of the whole that had just opened the doorway and then dropping to his knees, trying to work out how to get the snake off Benjy without doing any more damage. But before he could find a good angle at which to strike, the snake was already uncoiling itself and disappearing into the dark water. James didn't know why it would suddenly release him, until Benjy rolled onto his back, his eyes wide.

"Benjy?" James reached out to help the man into a sitting position, but as soon as his fingers made contact with his shoulder, cold dread swept through him. He shivered as he shook the man. "Benjy?"

His eyes weren't moving though. That crack that he'd heard earlier, came back to him. And the awkward angle that his head was bent.

It should have been James. Benjy had stepped in the way of the snake; it should have been James.

Sirius pulled James to his feet and violently pushed him through the now opened door of the passage. "Get in there before that snake gets you too." He said harshly, shoving James up the two steps that had them in a much smaller, darker tunnel.

"He can't be dead." James said, looking over his shoulder for another look. He only saw Remus and some of the others. "What about Scarlett? He can't be dead."

James heard the sound of splashing water again, and then they were being pushed forward as men hurried to get into the small tunnel. There was so much shouting going on that it took much too long for James to realize that it wasn't the snake that had sent them all running, but rather archers coming up behind them in the tunnels.

"Get that door closed!" James shouted back down the line, willing Benjy from his thoughts for the time being. He'd have much time to grieve over Benjy when he was working out how to tell Scarlett what had happened. Telling Scarlett about Benjy reminded him that he'd have to tell Lily as well, and that made him think about what Severus had said about his wife and children. He couldn't afford to think about any of that right now.

He took a deep breath and pressed forward.

Once all of James' men were in the tunnel and the door was closed, James took a moment to orient them. "These tunnels lead just about everywhere under the castle. I used them when I was a kid to get to the kitchens from my room. Or to get outside when I was told to stay in. I haven't used them in ages, but I have a general idea of how to get us to the Great Hall." He looked at Remus and Sirius and then the others. "I think that's our best bet."

"We're with you, mate." Sirius said. He somehow managed to look just as intimidating crouched over with his hand in his hair, keeping it back away from his face, as he always looked when he was upright with a sword in hand. James figured it probably had something to do with the confidence he seemed to have spilling out of him. He needed to borrow some of that right now.

James nodded. "Alright, then follow me." He turned back around and tried to send his thoughts back in time to when he was a child and would do this all the time. When he didn't have to crouch while walking and he could run through the tunnels without fear of being found. His parents had never said that they didn't like him playing in the passages, but only because they didn't know where they were, and they knew that voicing their dissent would only make James do it more often.

Luckily, James had been right in saying that he remembered the layout of the tunnels, because it turned out that they all looked the same and if he hadn't remembered, it would have made finding the Great Hall nearly impossible and they would have had to settle for going up through a different room.

James pushed aside the loose stone that covered the hole that they would crawl through and was about to peek his head through to look around when Sirius punched him on his forearm. "It's like you want to be killed, honestly." He muttered, pushing James aside so that he could look himself. His head disappeared from view and he was quiet. Everyone was quiet.

"It's empty." He said after a moment and then he pulled the rest of his body up through the whole, reaching his hand back down to help James through.

"You're lucky you hit my right arm." He muttered when he was above ground.

"You're lucky I'm here to help keep you alive." He countered and then turned to help the next person up. James knew that no one else needed help and he was only doing it for the sake of preserving James' pride, though that only lasted as long as it took to pull up Remus, Frank, Reginald and Amos. Gideon and Fabien had to pull themselves up, as did everyone who followed.

"Well that was ungentlemanly of all of you." Hestia said as her mop of messy hair appeared in the hole in the ground.

"You're the only that told us not to treat you any different." Amos grinned at her.

"You were helped through the hole." She shot back. James was only half listening to their banter, looking around the hall for something to let him know that so much time had past since he'd last stepped foot in here. He wanted some visual representation that his life had been turned upside down, but in truth, it all looked the same. The tapestries on the wall were untouched, the plants by the windows had been tended too, the statues that he knew had fallen over the night that the castle had been attacked, had been set right again. Repaired if need be. His home had continued as it always had, without him though. It was disconcerting.

"Where is Riddle hiding, you reckon?" Frank asked, getting James' attention. They'd all lost the posh way that they'd once spoke before everything had changed.

James sucked in a breath through his mouth and wondered if he was supposed to feel as though he didn't want to share Riddle's downfall with all of them, because that is how he felt. If he was supposed to feel as though pushing his blade through Riddle's heart was something that was owed to him for everything. Something owed to him, but still a price he had to pay.

Because this was all his fault. He had been charged with protecting the people of this land and he had failed. He had to set things right now, it was the only way that he would be able to start forgiving himself for everything he'd done wrong.

"We're not all going after Riddle." James said slowly, looking around at the men he had with them. Was it just his imagination or were there fewer of them now then there had been in the tunnels? Maybe it was just that they were in a larger space now, though they had to work out that there were archers after them somehow. "How many men did we lose in the tunnels?" It had been on his instruction that they'd all been there.

"You can't blame yourself for that too." Sirius said quietly, though he of all people should understand that James' guilt was not assigned purposefully. It just seemed to happen.

"How many?" He repeated, looking to Remus this time.

"We haven't done a tally, I don't know. Not for sure." He looked over his shoulder at one of the men who's names James didn't know. He should have known all of their names.

"We think the archers got ten or eleven before we realized what was happening." Remus said, looking at the floor. He hadn't been at the back though, he couldn't have known what was happening, not with what happened to Benjy distracting them.

"And after we realized?"

"Another five or so." Remus forced himself to look up at James. "They caught us by surprise. It could have been worse." It could have been better if James had opened the passage sooner. They weren't followed into the passage, they had been safe there.

"You'll remember that we all volunteered to be here." Someone called out. It sounded like Bertram, but James couldn't see him. "You're not paying us. We're here because we wanted to be. All of us wanted to be here."

"Alright," James had to force himself to push past this as well. Riddle was in the building somewhere. So were many other men that had decided that helping Riddle achieve his goals were more important than the lives of the people who lived in this country.

"We're still going to have to split up." He said, looking around. "I want one group going into the Entrance Hall. Get the door opened so that more of us can come in and help. Keep as many people alive as you can, they deserve to answer for the crimes they committed.

A second group I want sweeping the upper levels and finding anyone who is hiding. A third needs to go down to the dungeons and free the innocent and lock up those that deserve it. We'll hold trials for them later. If you find children anywhere, take them to the west wing, that's where the guest chambers are and there shouldn't be anyone over there. It'll be safe." He looked at Sirius and Remus. "I'll be going after Riddle." He said this quieter as the men in front of him started to split into three groups.

"Not alone, you won't." Sirius said. "I'm going with you."

"So am I." Regulus said. "If you think I don't want a piece of that bastard after everything he did to me…"

"I know you do." James said. "But it's my responsibility to-"

"Don't start with that shit." James' eyes went wide when that comment that should have come from Sirius fell from Remus' lips instead.

"Excuse me?"

"You don't have to do this alone. Of  _course_ you don't have to do this alone. We're coming with you. The three of us. The others will do what you asked, and we'll go with you."

"I know it's your job to keep me safe-"

"You're my friend, James. At the moment you are more my friend than my king and you're not going to change my mind on the matter. We're going with you." James looked over Remus and without letting himself think about it too much, he stepped up and pulled the man in for a hug. He wasn't in the practice of hugging his friends, but then again, he'd never had so many friends before.

Remus didn't really know how to respond to that, but James pulled back rather quickly, so he didn't have to make a decision. "Thank you." He said quietly, and then turned away, looking over the other men to make sure that they were doing as they should. And to hide the warmth in his eyes (even if the hug had already betrayed him.)

"Alright, let's head out." He said, waving them on. When it was just him and the other three left in the room, he turned to them. "I'm guessing that he'll be in the Royal Chambers. Because he shouldn't be and it'll be what he thinks is most insulting."

There was no disagreement between them, so they started that way, James leading, but only just. Remus was still on his left, Sirius on his Right and Regulus walked behind them. They were a team. A force to be reckoned with.

oOo

Mary ran up to the door, and Lily didn't think anything of it at first. It was cold, the wind was unforgiving and getting back inside as quickly was possible was always what was on her mind when she ventured past the thick oak door. Lily loved that door for all the cold it kept out of the small house.

The door flew open and almost knocked against the wall behind it, but Mary caught it at the last moment and had to use her weight to get the door closed. Lily almost walked over to help her, but she managed. "You'll never believe!" She called out, half out of breath, face flushed from both the bitter wind and excitement.

"Hush, you'll wake the children." Lily said, though she couldn't help but smile at her mirth. There wasn't a whole lot of that these days. "I'll never believe what?" Lily asked, looking up from the dough she was kneading on the stone counter. She didn't know how to make much still, but Mary had taught her a few things, and she quite liked how the dough felt under her fingers. She liked watching the bread rise as it cooked, knowing that she'd made it. It was calming, and it helped to keep her mind off things.

"They've reached the capital!" She was grinning from ear to ear. Lily just froze. One hand in the dough, one raised half an inch above it, poised to push against it again. "Lily!" Mary tried to spur forth a reaction. "They've done it! They've gotten there! We'll get to leave here soon!"

Lily cleared her throat and looked down at her dough. "You don't know how long it's going to take." She reminded the girl. "And besides, how do you know that they've taken the capital?"

"I've gotten a letter." Mary grinned, holding it out for Lily to see. "Moody sent it with a rider- there's a spot that we agreed upon an hour's ride from here that I've been checking. He said that he's taking the rest of the army up to catch anyone that's fleeing. Though I get the feeling that all of Godric's Hollow is emptying if they didn't live there originally." Lily reached out and snatched the letter. Scanning it for any sign of James' name. There was none.

"Who is Hannah?" She asked, as that was who the letter was addressed to.

"He couldn't send James' letters with it." She answered Lily's real question. The one that was causing the disappointment to well in her eyes. "If it was intercepted-"

"I know." She snapped, more harshly than she'd meant to. "I'm sorry, Mary. I know that you don't want to be here anymore than I do."

"Are you kidding? I love it here. I'm thinking of coming back next winter too." Lily laughed despite herself and shook her head.

"The wind sure is lovely." She sighed and handed the letter back. "I want to go home, Mary. I want to share my children with their father- though you've been a wonderful surrogate." She grinned, and Mary laughed.

"I do my best." She reached out and patted Lily's arm. "Now you finish that. I'm going to pack a bag. I'm going to ride out to the nearest town tomorrow and see if I can't get more news." Lily nodded.

"I'll make you something nice for your trip." She said, since she knew that sleep was not going to come tonight. Not when she knew that James and his men were at the castle.

Their fate was currently being decided.

oOo

James looked at the door that led to the Royal Chambers and knew that he'd chosen correctly. The door was slightly ajar, and the portraits around it were crooked and it just looked  _disturbed._  He took a deep breath and refused to look at his friends before he pushed the door open.

There was a stench once he walked over the threshold that smelled like death. It was bitter and overpowering and made his eyes water. He looked around for the cause of the smell and saw that there was dried blood on the floor and the walls. Bodies were heaped on the floor as well. Flies buzzed all around and James realized that this was what he'd been looking for when he'd reached the Great Hall. But that area of the castle had been cleaned, and this had not. This was the carnage from the night that Riddle had taken the castle. He had not been using this area of the castle.

But he was here now. James could feel it.

"This is disgusting." Sirius muttered, and James could see him covering his face from the corner of his eyes. James refused to do that though, because he knew that he'd be face-to-face with Riddle at any moment and he wanted the other man to see James standing tall and uninjured.

The royal wing was rather large, with many empty rooms between his old chambers, Lily's old chambers and the nursery. He didn't remember why things had been set up that way, but he'd never thought to change them. He walked past Lily's old room, their former doctor lay where he'd fallen that night. James hadn't come all the way over here, he'd been in a different part of the castle entirely, but he'd known that the man had come to check on Lily. He wondered now if he'd brought his assistant with him. If they had attempted to place Severus somewhere nearby so that he could strike.

"I'll never be able to repay you for getting them out of here," He said quietly to Remus.

"You were here when this all happened?" Sirius looked around at the wreckage, the awe in his voice obvious. "It's a miracle you all survived."

They continued down the hall until they reached the doors to James' room. He had no reason to think that this is where Riddle would be, but after all the teasing and the warning, James just had a gut feeling. And he needed to start listening to those more than he did.

He pushed open the door, tightly gripping his sword and rolling his left shoulder to make sure that it wasn't hurting too much.

"I was wondering when you'd come and join me," How could a man have a voice that made you feel like you had spiders crawling up the back of your neck? "Good of you to bring your friends. I brought some friends as well." James heard the snake before he saw him, slithering across the ground. In the dark of the tunnels he hadn't realized just how big the beast really was. Longer than any man, maybe two men even and wider around than James' leg.

"You've been keeping my home warm while I've been away," James refused to be rattled as the snake made it's way across the floor in front of him. "But I'm back now and I'll be needing my crown."

"You've blown up all my hard work." Riddle spoke quietly and now that James was in the room all the way, he could see where he'd situated himself. A chair in the middle of the room, in front of the fire. He had the windows open and no logs burned. He had to be cold.

He was also entirely exposed in his current position. James started looking around the room for traps. Unless the snake was meant to protect him somehow, but James had never heard of anyone being able to train a snake.

"What do you mean I've blown up all your hard work?" James asked, trying to get the man to stand up and reveal something about what was going to happen. "You usurped my thrown and tortured my people.

"You don't need to pretend as though you care about them." Riddle looked over at him, his dark eyes sending a chill down James' spine. "They aren't here, and I certainly don't care about them. They were only a means to an end. I was trying to get them to hate you, which would have worked had you not decided to degrade yourself and live in the woods." He made a face of disgust and then stood up in a flourish. James saw the hilt of his sword as his cloak belled out.

"I do care about my people. That's why I'm here." James said, doing his best to keep his voice even.

"No, you're here because I took something that was yours and you've never had that happen to you before. Again, it's alright by me. I expected you to come back for the castle." He shrugged. "I just didn't expect you to do it so well." He looked over the four men in front of him and James watched his eyes as they started calculating the risks. "Do you want to know why I did it?"

"Not really," James said honestly, and Riddle blanched. "I kept wondering on the way here, when your first did this-" He motioned around the room. "But it doesn't really matter. You had your reasons, and they will never be able to justify what you did."

"You don't deserve the throne. It should have been mine."

"I told you that I didn't want to know." James' fingers tapped along the hilt of his toward.

"I should have had Peter stay with you longer. He was one of the only competent operatives that I had." He looked over his shoulder in disgust, as if glancing by way of the window would let his men know how much he hated them.

"You're outnumbered." James said, refusing to take the bait, though he had many questions about Peter. They would have time to work through all of that later. "You're outnumbered, and you went about it all wrong."

"Oh? And what does the child King know about war?"

"I know how you're supposed to treat your men," James squeezed his sword hilt. He could feel it building. Soon he'd have the opportunity to use the sword against Riddle. "You used all fear on yours. You can't do that. They need something to hope for. Something to fight for." He motioned toward the windows. Shouting and fighting could be heard coming up from the streets. "Those are  _my_ people that you hear right now. They're fighting for their home. For a better life."

Riddle narrowed his brow. "They're all stupid. You come in here and besmirch the throne by sitting that  _mudblood_ on the throne next to you. You've sullied the whole line with your brats! There will never be a true king in England so long as your line sits on the throne!" Spit flew out of his mouth now as his voice got louder and louder.

"I don't know what you're calling my wife, but I'm not fond of anyone talking about her with anything but respect, so I'd watch myself if I were you." He spoke calmly, forced himself to keep taking slow breaths.

"You think I care what you would do! You think that I- You think I-" He seemed stuck, lost, desperate. "You've spoiled  _everything_. You stupid, vile, insolate-"

James didn't know if Sirius or Remus had drawn their sword first, but as soon as they had, Riddle's hand went for his sword as well.

"I would have restored this kingdom to it's former glory!" He seemed resigned to his fate, which terrified James. A man who had decided that he had nothing to lose was the most dangerous sort. He slowly unsheathed his sword and pointed it at Riddle's heart. "I would have made it great again. Instead it has you. A poor, pitiful excuse of a leader."

Riddle lunged first, but James was ready for him.

oOo

Riddle died, as James' father promised, a mortal man. All that he had been able to accomplish in seemingly such a short amount of time all turned out to be smoke and mirrors. A well-placed guard here, a spy there, a hidden messenger. He didn't have the heart of the land, he didn't have its people.

And because of this, because James had proven that he really cared, it was almost easy to pick out the men that had turned against their country to help Riddle.

James did his due diligence. He stayed in the capital for as long as he could stand it, long enough to ensure that any threat to his family had been plucked out of the castle before they had a chance to do any further damage. When he brought them back home, they wouldn't be in any immediate danger.

And then he got on a horse, Remus, Sirius and Regulus with him, and they set out to find Lily. James didn't know how long it would take, since she was in hiding, but he figured that he'd head back to the Hollows and see if word had reached her yet, see if she'd decided to head back there to meet him.

"James!" He heard a familiar clunking against the pavestones of main street and looked up to find Moody hobbling toward him. "You can't go and get her without this," He reached out to the king, a mangled bit of parchment in his hand. "I just drew it, sorry if it's a bit- well it's chicken scratch is what it is. But it should get you where you need to go." James took the paper and unfolded it.

It was a quickly drawn map. He looked up at Moody.

"Hope you can forgive me for not telling you sooner, your majesty. Didn't want to risk sending word by letter when I knew his men were after her and the wee ones."

"Of course," He nodded. "But I've been kept from my family for long enough." He gave the older man a smile, a nod and then set his horse in a trot.

oOo

If Lily thought the last couple of months had been hard, then this was absolute torture. She hadn't heard anything new since Mary had come back with her hastily written letter from Moody telling them that James had been about to enter the city.

She knew what that would entail, and she didn't like thinking about it.

She didn't like thinking about it, but it was also all that she could think about.

Tom Riddle was going to be there, and he was going to have all his men with him. All the men that had just went on a rampage across the country. Some of those men would be the men that had tried to kill her, and they would try and kill James now and Lily wished that Moody had been able to capture each and every last one of them, simply so James had a few less men to worry about attacking him.

It was a couple weeks after they'd gotten Moody's letter when Mary decided that Lily was being absolutely unbearable.

Grace was sitting on the floor across from Harry, who was entertaining her with silly faces and some dolls that Mary had knitted. And Lily was standing by the window, looking out across the barren, frozen field in front of the house. She was wringing her hands and chewing on her lip, these terrible thoughts about James getting hurt or killed swarmed around in her head like bees when she let her body stop moving about the house.

"You have to stop." Mary said, walking up and standing next to her.

"I can't stop." Lily snapped. Lily loved Mary, and she knew that she wouldn't have been able to get through the last few months without her, but they were both on each other's nerves just then. Mary had people that she cared about in the city as well, and she couldn't go anywhere to look for news other than the small town that was only a couple hours ride from the house, because she'd promised Moody that she would stay with Lily. And Lily couldn't go anywhere to get news because she had to think about Harry and Grace. She looked over at them and covered her mouth with her hand. "What if he doesn't come back?"

"Then we'll work through that." Mary reached out and took her hand and looked out the window as well. They were both looking for something that wasn't going to come while they were both staring out the window. "But you know he's going to come back."

"I don't know that." Lily snapped again and pulled her hand away from Mary. "I know that a great number of people want him dead, I know that he's self-sacrificing and noble and stupid and I know that he's going to do whatever he can to make sure that his men are safe. I don't know that he's going to come back to me." Her voice broke and she turned away from the window and leaned against the wall. "I can't take much more of this, Mary."

"I can't take much more of it either. You're incessant worrying is causing me to worry more than I would otherwise."

"It doesn't help that we're trapped in the middle of nowhere with nothing to do and no one else around." Lily added, running a hand through her hair. "And it's- It's more than- I'm the queen. If James dies, then I'll be the regent and Harry will be put in the same position that James was in when his parents died. No one should have to become king that young."

"James isn't going to die." Mary said, sounding so sure that Lily almost allowed herself to believe it. But she held back. If she chose to believe that it was true, then she would be absolutely crushed if something did happen to him.

"I hope so. For all our sakes." She sighed, looked over her shoulder again, finding nothing but a vast white landscape, untouched and desolate. Then she took a deep breath, plastered a smile onto her face and joined her children on the floor.

"It's funny to think that they're the prince and the princess." Mary grinned as she settled into the chair nearest the fireplace. "Sitting there so content, on the floor of this place." She looked around the house and Lily did as well.

"It's certainly no castle." She agreed and then looked back at her children.

oOo

It was hard not to stop as they went through towns. People were grateful, and they wanted to tell him so. He didn't want to appear as though he was above their gratitude, because he wasn't, but he couldn't stay for much longer than whatever time the horses needed to rest before he dragged his friends onto the road.

It was still unbearably cold most of the time, but the sun was beginning to remember how to warm the earth these days. It would still be a month or so before the snow melted for good, but James' toes only felt as though they might fall off when the sun disappeared behind a cloud for too long, or when they road during the night (which Remus thought was pushing their luck.)

It was impossible not to stop for the day in Godric's Hollow. Not only had they pushed their horses to far to get to the town instead of staying in one of the smaller towns outside the city, but they had quite a few people that they wanted to check on in town.

"Where is she?" Gwen was the first one who approached them as they dismounted their horses and tied them to the post. James turned toward her, his brow raised.

"Hestia, I'm assuming?" He asked and then grinned. "She's all well and good. Taking care of people back in the city. I'm not sure what her plans were, but you're more than welcome to accompany us when we head back that way."

"Do you know where Lily is?" She asked quietly.

He nodded. "Moody gave me a map." Of sorts. He had to be careful with the flimsy piece of paper. If he took it out while it was snowing, it would probably disintegrate. "It's not  _too_ far from here." But it was too far to get there tonight if he were to get on a different horse and start riding. Besides, he couldn't just go on one horse. He need to bring a cart so that he could take his whole family and Mary back to town. It would be even more tedious riding from here on out. He took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair.

"James!" He turned this time to see Molly rushing toward him and he smiled at her, moving forward to greet her. He was a bit surprised when she threw her arms around his neck and then pulled back, putting a hand on his cheek and cocking her head to the side, looking him over. "Hestia wrote and told me that you were injured. She told me that you probably wouldn't tell me yourself either. What happened?" James sighed, but wasn't surprised by that bit of news.

He allowed her to fuss over him for a bit before moving to greet her children. They all looked as though they'd grown another head taller since he'd last seen them. Fred and George showed him that they'd both lost a couple of teeth, and Ginny greeted him in a full sentence. His stomach clenched at the thought of how different his own children would be. He worried whether Grace would even remember him.

And then there was a set of little feet running at him that he wasn't prepared for. "Long live the king!" Grace and Scarlett cheered happily, both skipping around him cheerfully. It was his heart that clenched this time as he saw the smile on Scarlett's face and knew that he was going to have to tell her what happened to her father.

"Did you do it? Did you gut that mean old man?" Grace asked, her aunt walking up behind her with an absolutely horrified expression on her face.

"Grace! We do not speak like that!"

"Sorry, Auntie. Look, King James! It's my baby cousin, Harry! We're just like the Prince and Princess now." She gave him a toothy grin and James tried to return it in full, but his gaze kept shifting toward Scarlett.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Regulus standing there. "I'll tell her." He said quietly. "I've known both of them longer. I'll tell her." James didn't want to pass that job on to anyone else, but Regulus didn't wait for him to agree, he just held his hand out to Scarlett and nodded toward the pond.

Scarlett, bright girl that she was, bit her bottom lip and furrowed her brow as she reached out and took his hand. It was clear by the look on her face that she knew that she was about to get bad news and James looked down at his shoes, feeling as though there were rocks tumbling around in his stomach.

James had never figured Regulus one to play with the kids when they were back in the camp, but he hadn't figured Sirius for that role either until he'd seen Harry talking to him so animatedly about dragons.

They walked off and James shook his head. He'd felt such a high when he realized that he was going to get to see his family as they left the castle grounds, but getting here, getting back to this city that used to be one of his favorite places on earth, well it was forcing him to remember that not everything had worked out perfectly.

"She'll be alright." Molly said, having already worked out what Regulus was going to tell Scarlett.

"She hasn't got any other family." Sirius shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Sure, she does." Carrie said. "She's been staying with me and Grace for the past few months as it were."

"Her dad is dead?" Grace asked, her smile disappearing for perhaps the first time since James had met her. She looked at her aunt, who gave a small nod and then she started over toward the lake where Regulus now had his arm around Scarlett.

"Kids are resilient. So long as they got love, they'll be alright. Look at Gracie." Carrie said, and James looked at her and nodded.

"You're right. That doesn't mean that I don't wish that I had other news to give her."

 

James didn't want to stay in the manor that night. He didn't want to sleep in the bed that he'd shared with Lily a few months ago, but he also didn't want to make a fuss about it, and he knew that he needed to sleep, so after they had dinner at the tavern (which had been converted back to a tavern), he headed up to his room, sighing as he leaned against the doors after they'd closed.

Whatever evidence of a break in had been erased. Molly had offered him bits and pieces of information, but she kept telling him that he should just ask Lily when he saw her. She kept trying to convince him that it hadn't been a big deal, that Moody had got there in time, that Lily had been smart about it. And he knew that he'd believe it once he heard it from Lily, Molly knew that too, which was why she stopped asking questions after the first thirty minutes.

He stepped out of his boots, sent a generous thank you to whomever had started the fire and then started toward the bed.

He almost didn't notice the letter that had been left on his pillow in a very familiar handwriting.

All traces of exhaustion rushed from his body and he snatched at the parchment greedily, one hand in his hair as he scrambled over to the candle so he'd have light enough to read it.

_My darling,_

_I feel as though the only way I can start this letter is by apologizing. Apologizing for not finding some way to tell you the truth. I agonize over however you are to find out, because when you do I doubt that you'll get the full story. I'm so sorry that I've elected to keep a secret from you, but I'm sure that you understand that it was necessary. I'm sure you know that I wouldn't have done it if I had another choice._

_Or at least, I hope very much that you see it that way._

_You should know that I am fine. Harry is fine. Grace is fine. Grace actually slept through the whole thing if you can believe it._

_I can't know for certain that you'll ever get this letter, Moody might come and collect us and send us straight to the castle, or perhaps you won't stop here before you get to me, but I feel as though you will. You'll have wanted to see things for yourself, you'll want to check in on our friends. I hope they're doing as well as when I felt them._

_Know that I love you and that I have every faith that by the time this letter is in your hands, you will have made safe our home._

_I'll be waiting as long as you need,_

_Lily_

He re-read the letter a few times and then held it over his heart and closed his eyes.

_Waiting as long as you need._

It's what she'd been doing since the beginning, wasn't it? Waiting for him? Mainly to get his head out of his arse, but now this as well.

It was stupid, he knew, to feel any sort of guilt about her having to go into hiding. Maybe he should feel upset that no one told him, but he didn't. Moody and Lily had made the choice to keep it a secret to give Lily and the kids their best shot and he couldn't fault them for that. He was actually left in awe of his wife yet again. Picking up her life for the umpteenth time since they'd left the castle and adjusting so that their kids would stay safe. She was the strongest women he knew. He crumpled the letter slightly as his grip on it tightened.

He'd ride out ahead of the traveling party tomorrow. Make sure that everything they needed was there and then ride out ahead, leave the map with Sirius and just get to where she was a quickly as he could. That had to be what his friends were expecting anyway, right? There was no point on the journey down here where he hadn't obviously been playing the lovesick fool.

He finally got into bed with that, somewhat comforting thought in mind. He kept the note in his hand and tried his best to get a good night's sleep.

 

He woke the next morning before the sun, but it was near enough to sunrise that he knew that any attempts to get more sleep was useless. So he stuffed Lily's note in his pocket and tugged on his boots and pulled his cloak around his shoulder. When he made it to the front of the manor, he was surprised to see that there were quite a few people rushing about a cart and a few horses ambling about as well.

Molly smiled over at him. "Morning, dear. Sleep well?"

James cleared his throat and nodded. "As well as can be expected."

Sirius clapped him on the shoulder as he walked up beside him. "I'm going to ride ahead with you."

James looked over at him and couldn't help but laugh a bit. All of these people understood him rather well, and were keen to get to Lily as well. "I don't know how she'd feel about you being one of the first people she sees after all this."

"What are you talking about, Lily and I are great friends." Sirius shook his head and then started toward the horses. "Grab your breakfast, we're leaving before the sun is over the trees."

oOo

Lily was humming a song that Harry had made up and gotten stuck in her head as she was baking a loaf of bread. They were running out of supplies, and both she and Mary hadn't brought it up in front of the other. Apparently, they were just going to pretend that it wasn't happening until they couldn't pretend anymore.

They had no way of knowing how long they were going to be here. There was always the chance that something had happened to Moody if nothing else had gone wrong, and since he was the only one who knew where they were, if he died, they would be stuck here longer than was necessary.

But Lily kept trying to hope that everything had gone according to plan. It'd been over a month since Moody's letter and while it was still constantly on Lily's mind, she now had both cooking  _and_ knitting to try and keep her mind clear. Knitting hadn't actually turned out to be that difficult once she got familiar with the way she was meant to hold the needles.

She was worried that they'd run out of yarn as well as food.

"Mmm, that smells wonderful already, Lily." Mary said, taking a seat at the table with a mug of tea. "What did you put in it?"

"I found some rosemary." She smiled at her and continued to knead the dough she was working on as another cooked in the oven.

"Well I wish we'd have found that early." Mary sighed, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear. "Harry is outside playing again." She told Lily, though Lily already knew. "He's quite enjoying the snow now that it doesn't hurt you every time you walk outside."

"He's hated being shut up in here something awful." Lily agreed. "And he's wanted to explo-"

"Daddy!" A muffled shout came from outside the house and Lily's heart jumped to her throat. She looked up at Mary, who looked just as surprised as she did by Harry's unexpected outburst.

Then Lily spun on her heel, her bread completely forgotten, as she rushed across the room and threw open the door. She was just in time to see Harry running through the snow as James jumped off his horse, dropped to his knees and caught him. Harry had been running much faster than James seemed to have anticipated, and they almost fell back into the snow.

Lily felt as though she were frozen in the doorway. Her hand went up to cover her chest and she was having a hard time taking in a full breath as she watched something she hadn't allowed herself to fully hope for in weeks.

James was here. He'd come to get them, and he was here in front of her with Harry in his arms and he looked to be all in one piece.

"Well go and say 'hi.'" Mary nudged her from behind, and her oversimplification of what was happening caused Lily to let out a half-strangled laugh of sorts before she felt herself starting to smile. Her feet suddenly remembered how to move forward and she started across the yard.

James wasn't looking at her yet, he had his arms around Harry and she could tell, even from this distance, that they were clinging to one another. Her chest was tight, her heart was full, and she knew that she was going to start crying the moment he looked at her.

It was all too much. There was too much  _feeling_ in this moment and her breath would only come in shallow bursts and her hands were shaking. He was really here. He was really okay.

And then James was pulling away from Harry. He pressed a kiss to his forehead and said something quietly to him that Lily didn't hear that made Harry laugh and step back at the same time. James stood up and Lily was still walking slowly across the yard when his eyes found hers.

Time stopped.

Her feet refused to move again and she just reached up and covered her mouth. Everything kept rushing to the surface, everything that she'd been worrying about over the last few months and she felt it more acutely now that his hazel eyes were boring into hers. There was the guilt for lying, there was how scared she was to be on her own, that he wasn't going to come back, that she'd have to somehow explain all of that to Harry, that she was going to have to flee the country, that she was going to have to miss him with her whole heart for the rest of her life…

They just looked at one another for a moment, his emotions running through his eyes and she tried to pick them out- but they settled quite suddenly, and he started walking toward her.

She managed to take another step before he reached her, and she moved her hand away from her mouth, opening it to try and say something, but he didn't wait for her to figure out what should be said just then, he just pulled her against his chest and buried his face in her hair.

Those tears that she'd been barely holding back before began to fall freely now. She pulled her arms out from between them and wrapped them around him tightly. "You're here." She said quietly, "You're really here. I didn't- I hoped but I-"

He pulled back so that he could rest his forehead against hers and she saw that his eyes were wet as well. She tried to remember if she'd ever seen him cry before, but she couldn't think much past this moment right here.

She brought her hand up to cover his cheek, her thumb slowly running back and forth to wipe the tears aside. "I told you that I'd come back to you." His voice was raw, and her fingers clenched tightly at his cloak. She hadn't heard his voice in months.

"I know you did." She closed her eyes. "And I love you for keeping your promise." He started pressing kisses along her hairline and she hid herself in his chest again, letting the sound of his heartbeat ground in, hold her in this moment.

James let out a breathy laugh and shook his head. "You've given me a million reasons to keep my promises, love. I'm always going to come back to you." His hand reached up and cupped her cheek, tilting her face toward his own and then his lips were covering hers and it was like it was the first time all over again. The air was knocked out of her, her heart was in her throat, her fingers found their way into his hair and she clung to him, slightly desperate to get just a moment longer of this wholly perfect feeling in her chest.

And also, like the first time they kissed of their own accord, Sirius interrupted them.

"Oi, no one needs to see all that." He was setting Harry down when Lily pulled back and looked over at him. Unlike the first time he interrupted, she wasn't annoyed this time. She smiled at him and gave James' hand a quick squeeze before she walked toward Sirius and surprised both of them by giving him a hug.

"I'm very glad that you managed to stay alive, Sirius." She said, completely sincere. "And for keeping James safe as well."

"I can't take credit for the second." He said, averting his eyes for a moment. Lily knew that she hadn't been too kind to him as he was surly and vulgar most of the time and she didn't know how to be kind around someone like that, but she liked seeing him unsure like this. "He's the one who kept everyone else safe. Played it all very smart."

"But you're important to him and you're his friend. I'm sure you helped him plenty. Thank you." He waved off her comment, but she could tell that he appreciated it, even if he'd never say so. She looked over her shoulder and saw that Mary had come out of the house with Grace on her hip.

"Shit, she did get big." Lily looked at Sirius with a raised brow and then shook her head, smiling.

"She sure did." She agreed and then walked over. James seemed a bit more hesitant, and Lily knew why. She'd been worried that Grace wouldn't remember who James was when he got back to them. He'd been gone for almost half of her life, and for the last few months she hadn't really been around many strangers.

Lily walked over and took Grace from Mary, who gave Lily a quick reassuring smile. Lily turned back around and brushed her fingers along Grace's cheek. James walked up slowly and Lily was about to start talking to her daughter, telling her that this was her dad and whatever else she could think of that would calm her but Grace tilted her head and looked at James for a moment and then leaned forward and James reached up to take her from Lily's arms, looking at Lily as though she could explain what was going on.

Grace kept looking at James' face for a moment, then she reached up, and stuck her little hand in his beard and then rested her head on his shoulder. James closed his eyes and held her close with a hand on the back of her head.

"Mum! Can you pick me up?" Harry asked by her feet. She obliged and then James wrapped and arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.

"I've missed you all so much." James kissed Lily's forehead again. "More than I know how to say."

"We've missed you too, daddy." Harry grinned, trying to hug James around Grace and Lily now.

"How would you like to go home now, Harry?" James asked, kissing Harry's forehead as well.

"I'd love to go home. I've missed Ron and Fred and George and all the other's too."

"Not back to the Hollows, Harry. Back home." Lily grinned.

"Back to the castle?" Harry asked, his eye widening in surprise.

"Yes, my son. Back to the castle." James grinned. His eyes kept darting back and forth to each of them in turn.

"Can we take Ron with us?" He asked, pressing his lips together.

"I think Ron will want to stay with his family." Lily told him.

"They did used to live in the city." James reminded her. "We'll see if we can't entice them." He grinned, and Lily couldn't take her eyes off his smile.

And it hadn't all settled yet, it didn't quite seem real, she was still hoping that she wasn't about to wake up from some fantastical dream; but she felt whole again for the first time in a long time and that was a feeling that she was going to hold onto.

oOo

_Four Months Later_

James stood in front of the looking glass, his arms crossed over his chest and feeling like a prat in a costume instead of a king in proper attire. He ran a hand through his hair to try and feel a bit more like the person he'd become last year, but that only made it stick up and he knew that someone would come by and try and fix it sooner or later. He huffed and crossed his arms again.

"What's the matter, love?" Lily walked into the room, looking as though her gown was the most comfortable thing in the world. This was their first royal function since retaking the throne, and James was feeling surly about the entire thing despite the occasion.

"I'm not sure." He muttered, turning to look at her. "But you look absolutely perfect."

Lily grinned and did a playful spin before walking across the room till she was standing next to him. "This is our daughters' birthday, it's supposed to be a happy occasion." James automatically looked toward the children's chambers and nodded. True to his word, they had rearranged their living quarters when they moved back into the castle to make it feel homier.

"I know, but everything is different now and I feel a bit like a fraud dressed up like this."

"Everyone is going to be dressed up like that." She reminded him, reaching up to fix his hair that he'd ruined. He didn't mind it so much when she was doing it though and he felt himself start to relax under her touch.

"Of course but-" He broke off suddenly and shook his head.

"Hold still," She placed one hand on his cheek and continued to wok on his hair with the other. "You'll find a way to feel like yourself here again."

"After everything that happened I'm not so sure."

"James, this was your home." She stopped trying to fix his hair and look him in the eye. "Long before I was here, long before Riddle came out into the open, this was your home. And it will be again. It may take a while, it may take a bit of work, but we'll get there." She brushed her thumb over his cheek and he nearly forgot what he was annoyed with in the first place.

"We've already made quite a few changes for the better." He allowed, and Lily smiled at him and nodded.

"Exactly. And no one was more surprised than I when Sirius accepted your offer of knighthood."

"I wasn't surprised. He felt properly validated." James chuckled.

"And think about who will actually be at this ball tonight!" Her smile grew. "We actually have real friends that are going to be celebrating with us tonight. Some that we haven't seen in a while."

"Oh yes, Mary is going to be here tonight, isn't she?" He acted as though Lily hadn't told him this more than a dozen times since they'd woken up this morning.

She whacked him on the arm and pressed her lips together. "I've missed her terribly and I'm glad that she's back."

"She got married, darling, she didn't just run off."

"I know, and her and Reginald are very happy together, but I've missed her. She was my only adult companion for a good few months. She taught me how to knit." James laughed.

"Well I'm hoping that you haven't been suffering through my company since she's been gone."

"I mean you do pout a good deal more than her," She grinned, standing up on her toes to press a kiss to his cheek. He turned his head to catch her lips on his instead and let his hands move to rest on her hips. She pulled back a bit. "We're not going to be late to our daughters first birthday, James."

"You started it."

"I most certainly did not." She laughed, and he kissed her again. "Are you feeling any better?" She asked.

"I still feel like I'm play dress up."

"Well I've always felt that way. We can play dress up together." She reached for his hand and then wove their fingers together. "And then, you know, after the ball…" Her cheeks flushed, and James felt his stomach clench in excitement.

"Yes?" He urged her to go on.

"Well if you don't like your clothes, then after the ball, I can help you out of them." She looked him in the eye for a moment and then bit her lip and looked down. James groaned and dropped his forehead against hers.

"You're not making me want to go to the ball you realize. Perhaps we should just stay in our room tonight." He squeezed her hand and she laughed quietly. "I'm not joking."

"Mum! Dad!" Lily looked back up at James and grinned.

"I don't think you have that option, my love." She pressed a quick kiss to his lips and then stepped back, keeping James' hand in hers. "What is it, Harry?" She called out.

Harry came rushing into the room, dressed up as well, though the clothes didn't seem to sit on his shoulder uncomfortably. He was comfortable in anything. "Look what Grace is wearing!" He looked delighted, as he did whenever he was talking about Grace. "I can't believe it's her birthday." He shook his head, probably looking exactly like James had this morning when he'd said the exact same thing. Lily laughed.

But then Grace came walking into the room, Emmeline behind her. She was wearing a dress that was much to fancy for a one year old to wear, but she looked absolutely charmed and James couldn't help but smile brightly at her. "Well look at you," He said, squatting down so that she could walk into his arms. "You look like a princess."

"She is a princess, dad." Harry pointed out, walking over to Grace. He patted her head and bent down so that they were eye level. "Isn't that right, little princess?" Lily put a hand on James shoulder and James reached out and scooped Grace up.

"Alright, I guess it's time to go down to the party. Can't keep the guest of honor from the people forever." Grace squealed happily and clapped her hands together.

"Well you heard her," Lily motioned toward the door. "Let's get a move on."

oOo

The overall feeling in the castle was different than it had been before. People were lighter, more carefree and Lily thought that it was because they had all fought for this life. They had all stood next to one another as equals and fought for a life free of Riddle.

She stood up on balcony that overlooked the ballroom and rested a hand on her stomach as she watched Harry run up to Remus as the Knight lifted him into the air, everyone around them laughing gleefully. When he set him down, Harry ran into the crowd with a gaggle of redheaded children following after him.

Emmeline came up to stand beside her, "Ma'am." She grinned, and Lily smiled at her. "Have you told him yet?" She asked, nodding at Lily's hand on her stomach. She quickly moved her hands to the railing.

"No." She shook her head. "I was going to wait until after the party." It had already been hard enough to get him to come tonight. If she'd told him that she was pregnant before the party, well she really didn't know how he was going to react. He'd be happy though, she knew that much.

"I don't like being the only one that knows, Lily." Emmeline sighed, and Lily chuckled.

"Well I'd apologize, but I didn't want word to get out at the ball. I want us to be able to enjoy it privately first. Make sure that everything goes well." She'd only worried to James, Molly and Emmeline about her fears that she wouldn't be able to have children anymore after she had been attacked in Godric's Hollow. But she had every reason to be hopeful now.

"I know," Emmeline sighed. "But it's quite a secret to carry around. I hope you have another little boy. Oh, but another girl would be so much fun too." Lily looked around them, trying to keep her smile from getting any bigger.

"Someone is going to hear you, Em." Emmeline pressed her lips together and nodded.

"What are they going to over hear her saying?" Lily's brows went up and she turned on her heel to see Mary standing in the doorway and she shouted out as she raced over to hug her.

"You were supposed to get in yesterday." Lily said as she held her friend close.

"I know, but you know what it's like to travel. We were delayed." Lily pulled back and looked for Reginald, but Mary waved her hand. "I told him to stay down below so that I could have some time with you. He's with his knight friends." She sounded so happy and Lily just smiled at her.

"So are you moving into the city now?" She asked, linking arms with Mary and walking back over to the rail so that they could watch over the party.

"I am, but I'm still curious as to what you and Em are keeping secrets about." She looked over her shoulder at Emmeline and Lily just shrugged.

"Em and I keep all kinds of secrets." She wanted to tell James next, so she'd have to keep it from Mary for a little while longer. "What about you? Do you have any secrets to share with me?"

Mary laughed and shook her head. "I think all the letters we wrote while I was gone kept you updated plenty." Lily had to agree with that for the most part.

They moved from the balcony to the dancefloor a bit later on and James found her. He passed Grace off to Mary who was more than happy to parade the guest of honor around for a while and then asked Lily to dance.

Lily smiled and accepted his hand, letting him lead her out onto the floor. "I think you were right," Was the first thing he said once they'd started dancing.

"Well I'm glad you think that. I usually am." She grinned, and his eyes found hers. He tilted his head.

"Yes, well, I was talking about the party. You were right about the party. It feels different then they used to. It actually feels like a party. Like we're all celebrating something together."

"I know." She grinned. "It's actually  _fun._ " She raised her brow and then laughed. "We actually have friends, and they're all here, and our children are happy, and Harry's friends are here too. Everything is different."

"And I'm forever grateful for that." Lily looked at him carefully, his hand in hers, his eyes locked on her and felt a rush of emotion swell in her chest.

"Very grateful." She agreed. "We're building something good here."

"It hasn't been all that long either. Think about how much greater things will be next year. Or five years from now. Twenty even." He sounded so hopeful and she squeezed his hand.

"Every day I get to spend with you is better than the last." She grinned, and his gaze softened.

"I love you, Lily. It's nice to be home, it's nice to not have to worry about where our next meal will come from, but you and the kids are all I need to be happy. I want you to know that."

Lily did her best to hide her smile, but it won out in the end. "I do know that." She said, moving her hand from his shoulder to the side of his neck, pulling him toward her. "I love you too, James. You were worth the wait."

And then she kissed him.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to leave a review! They mean the world to me!


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